Author Notes:
This is just an idea I got through boring math classes so don´t expect too much. :D Please don´t pay too much attention on Grammar and Spelling. English isn´t my first language ! ( sadly)
Disclaimer:
None of those persons belong to me …unfortunately …but I tend to borrow them for day dreams. :D
Note to Jaclyn:
I tried to make no spaces between words and punctuation marks. :D Not easy to break old habits but I remembered your words. :p Hugs
~ Trust ~
Roxton sighed as he watched Marguerite on the balcony. She looked sad and he knew something was on her mind again that shouldn´t be there … her past again … god why couldn´t she just let him help her.
He knew she was afraid that he would leave her then … that he couldn´t handle her past and that she would be all alone again… but she was wrong. He would never do that …he couldn´t! He was too much in love with her and every day those feelings grew stronger. She knew he loved her… he had shown it her more often than he could count. But he wanted to speak those words … he wanted to hear those words from her …but she wasn´t ready yet.
He had almost told her yesterday. They had spent the day on the beach … it was a beautiful day and they both had so much fun … and they shared kisses again … they hadn´t done that for quite some time and their feelings quickly came out to the surface. After their passionately kiss he had looked into her eyes and wanted to say those three words. The look in her eyes told him she felt the same way. He was so sure it was the right moment. But as he started she pulled back, obviously confused and frightened. He asked her what was wrong but she didn´t answer. She pleaded to let her go…and he did. He had no clue what was wrong …what had changed her mind so fast.
And since then she had withdrawn from him. Rarely talked with him and obviously tried to avoid any contact with him or the day on the beach. He sighed again.
"Marguerite, dinner´s ready." She didn´t turn around.
He moved closer to her and gently touched her shoulder. She turned around.
"Sorry I didn´t mean to startle you." Were that tears on her cheek ?
"Marguerite, what´s wrong?" he asked concerned. His hand went to her cheek but she stopped him.
"Nothing… I´m okay." She wiped her tears away. "What do you want ?"
He didn´t answer for a moment and just looked at her.
"Roxton?"
"Uhm … dinner´s ready. Marguerite I …."
She forced a smile. "Hmmm dinner …I´m starving. "
And with that she left the balcony. He looked after her. What was wrong with her … she was crying … something made her sad and he wanted to comfort her … if she only would tell him what was wrong. He sighed and went after her.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
After dinner Marguerite excused herself and went to her room. She said she had a headache but he knew that wasn´t true … as the others were distracted in a conversation he went to Marguerite´s bedroom. He knocked softly against the door-frame. No answer. He knocked again.
"Marguerite? May I come in ?"
"John I have a headache … please leave me alone."
He went into the room . She sat on her bed and looked out into the jungle. Slowly he made his way to her bed and sat down on the edge of her bed so he could face her.
"Marguerite please tell me what´s wrong."
She looked at him.
"There´s nothing wrong …how did you get that idea ? "
"Oh don´t try that with me."
"I have a headache … nothing more."
"So ? Is that why you cried ?"
"Roxton please, just let me !"
"Is it because of us ? What happened yesterday ? Marguerite we …"
She cut him off.
"God can´t you just drop it ? I don´t want to talk about it! And now leave me alone. I have a headache and all I want is sleep !"
She looked angry at him but this look softened as she saw his confused and hurt eyes.
"I´m sorry." She looked down at the blanket.
"What´s wrong? Is it because of yesterday ….what happened on the beach?"
Marguerite looked at him with tears in her eyes. Softly he took her hand in his. She gasped at this little contact.
"Marguerite please trust me. I thought we were above that part in our relationship."
Her grey eyes widened at the word relationship and he saw it. He held onto her hand as she tried to withdraw again.
"You can´t deny it. You know there´s something between us …. a relationship , a connection ,….something strong and genuine. I know you aren´t ready to say it …. and apparently not ready to hear it either …but I´ve seen it in your eyes. Every time you look at me , even those moments you´re angry with me and could rip my head off," he grinned and was happy as she gave him a small smile too.
"And you know exactly how I feel about you. If you aren´t ready to hear it yet, that´s okay. But don´t turn away from me… I… please Marguerite. Your past really isn´t important to me. I know I disappointed you as we all got to know one of your biggest secrets … and I was angry and was cold to you … but I learned of it. I know what I did wrong and I can assure you I´ll never disappoint you on that part again! I don´t care about what you have done or whatever your secrets are, all I care about is you and I hope that one day you can trust me enough to tell me and face everything together with me. Do you know what I mean? I don´t want to know your secrets because I´m curious or anything like that…. I want to know them because it shows that you trust me and have enough faith in me to let me help you with your problems."
"I do trust you," she sobbed.
"Apparently not enough to tell me. But Marguerite I don´t want to force you into anything. I really hope you´ll tell me all your secrets one day, but that has time. And even if you´ll never tell them, that´s okay. I lo…."
He stopped as her eyes widened again. He tried to form his words new .
"I always care ( he smiled as he said that) about you whether you have secrets or not. That will never change."
A tear rolled down her cheek. Roxton wiped it away.
"I don´t deserve you." She started to cry. "I don´t know …by all what I´ve done… how I can be so lucky to have you. I just …I…" she broke off and he took her into his arms.
"Shhh , it´s alright. Everything is okay."
"John."
"Marguerite you´re more worth than you think. Don´t you see how much you changed those years here on the Plateau… god why can´t you see it."
His own feelings broke apart as he held her close to his chest. He couldn´t hold it back any longer.
"Why can´you understand how much I …"
She tried to struggle away.
"How much I love you, Marguerite" he said hoarsely.
She stopped her movements and held her breath. Roxton moved back to look into her eyes. What he saw reminded him of a scared child. For a moment they just looked at each other …none of them knew what to say. But it seemed as if words weren´t necessary.
For a second John was scared about her reaction but then she smiled. At first it was a shy and small smile …but it grew bigger and bigger till her smile could be seen in her beautiful grey eyes. She hugged him once more and as she moved back their heads moved closer to each other till their lips met in a soft but passionately kiss. His hand found its way to her neck and tangled into her curly hair. He drew her closer as the kiss grew more passionate every second. The hand on her neck moved to her collarbone and made its way down.
But then Marguerite moved away and he looked confused at her. He wanted to say something but she put her finger on his lips and shook her head.
"Before we go any further … I want to tell you about my life before I came here."
Roxton shook his head.
"No Marguerite, you don´t have to …"
"But I want. You´re right. I should trust you enough to tell you. There have been so many situations who others would have just given up but you never left me! You did so much for me and I think it´s time for me to give you a reward for that."
He shook his head again but she smiled.
"Please."
Roxton looked at her and then slowly pulled her closer to him and they both lay down on the bed as Marguerite started to tell him about her past.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The next morning :
Roxton opened his eyes and blinked as he got used to the sunlight in the room. He sensed the warmth besides him and turned his head. He looked at the most beautiful face he had ever seen … Marguerite … and she was smiling at him. He gently stroke her cheek as she closed her eyes and leaned into his soft caress.
"Good Morning," he said gently.
"Good Monring," and she opened her eyes.
She moved closer and wanted to kiss him.
"Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are ?"
She smiled and kissed him gently. His hand softly stroke across her bare back while Marguerite´s hand played with the hair on his forehead. For moments they just looked at each other.
"What do you think. Ready to face the lions outside and explain them why you did make those loud noises last night ?" He grinned widely.
Her eyes widened.
"Me ? I think you were the one who couldn´t hold back the … noises." She grinned back.
Marguerite leaned on Roxton´s chest. His hands were on her waist. She smiled down at him. He looked suspiciously at her as she ran her hands from his shoulders down his naked chest to his waist.
"Do you?"
"Oh yes."
And with that she started to tickle him. He started to laugh and tried to push her away.
"Marguerite … stop … that ….oh god stop that."
She joined his loud laughter and somehow he managed to pull her even closer to him and within seconds she lay with her back on the bed and he leaned above her. He held her wrists so she couldn´t continue her "torture". He looked down at her .
"You think that´s funny?"
He tried to be serious but failed as she barely could contain her laughter.
"I don´t know … it had something humorous as you grunted like a little pig."
And she started to laugh again .
"A pig? I grunted like a pig? Take that back!"
He started to tickle her.
"Roxton …awww…I …okay…I take it ..I take it back. "
He didn´t stop to tickle her.
"Joooohn," …she breathed out of laughter .
He laughed and stopped.
"That´s not fair. You tickled much longer than I did ! The next time you …"
But before she could continue to lecture him he had leaned down and kissed her softly. As he pulled back he looked into her surprised eyes and smiled.
"You´re so beautiful !"
She couldn´t hold back a shy smile.
"I lecture you and you say I´m so beautiful ?"
He grinned.
"Well it´s rather difficult not to notice that when you´re lying in front of me …rather naked …if you allow me to remind you of that."
She slapped him on the shoulder. He laughed and pulled her closer to him to kiss her neck. For a moment they both lay silent in each others arms … listening to the soft breath of the other.
"Thank you John!"
He sat up a little bit and looked down at her.
"For what?"
"For still being with me … I know most people would have been shocked if they had heard about my past …they would´ve hated me …and I would´ve been alone again …but you…" She looked into his eyes. "You´re still here," she whispered.
Tears formed in her eyes.
"Of course I am !" He gently stroke her cheek.
"I told you your past isn´t important to me."
"But I thought it would be … all those terrible things I did …I thought I would lose you…that you couldn´t accept my past …I was so afraid of that …that I always tried to push you away …but of course you didn´t give up on me."
"How could I? I would be the most stupid man if I would have done that." He smiled.
"Marguerite those things you did were necessary for the situations you were in. And god knows how proud I am of you …you were all alone and still survived all that. You´re so strong … it´s time to forget your past and start to look into your future … and now you have the chance to build up on it. And I would love it more than anything else in the world, to be a part of it and to help you to make you the brightest and happiest future you can imagine!"
A tear ran down her cheek.
"John."
She put her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. He hugged her tightly as she whispered ´I love you´. He pulled back and looked smiling in her eyes .
"I love you too."
* The End *