Toru narrowed his eyes considerably at what his best friend told him. "Nani? What do you mean, you're worried about her?"
Fujima sighed. "She's been acting weird around me lately. It wasn't like before… You remember, you told me that she liked being close to me?"
Toru nodded. "Hai…"
"Well, that seems to have changed. A LOT. She flinches whenever I touch her, even if it's something quite accidental, and she always maintains a two-foot radius around herself. I can't get close to her anymore, Toru. And it worries me."
Toru shrugged. Must be that time of the month again. "Kenji, it just might be that time of the month."
"That's such an overused explanation," Fujima told him with a matching glare. "And no, I don't think that's the reason why."
Toru let out a long sigh, thinking it over. Now that Fujima mentions it, Mire-chan HAS been acting strangely. It all started with one night, the night after her little outing with Fujima…
~ ~ ~
"AAAAAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Toru was jerked right out of his dreams, sitting up almost instantly at the sound. What the… It took a while for his brain to shake off the sleep, but when it did, it started acting at top speed. That scream, it sounded like… His eyes widened with horror for a minute. Oh gods…MIRE-CHAN!!!!!
He jumped out of bed, crossing his room in a few swift strides before throwing the door open and entering the hall. He reached Sumire's room, which was right across from his, and threw the door open as well. He flicked the switch, and the room was filled with light.
Toru scanned the room quickly, trying to see if someone had tried to break into the house. The windows were shut; the desk was in order…everything seemed to be okay. There was nothing there.
Until he looked at his younger cousin.
It was a sight he would remember for the rest of his life, and it was a sight that would tear at his subconscious forever. Sumire, hunched up in her bed, sobbing, her entire body shaking from the severity of her crying. She probably had a nightmare…a very bad nightmare…
"Mire-chan…" Toru approached her slowly, knowing that something was horribly wrong. He put his knees on the bed, and wrapped his arms around Sumire, holding her close.
He gently patted her back. "Shhh, calm down Mire-chan, calm down. It was just a dream, just a dream…it will go away."
Sumire continued to cry, hanging onto him, seeking his comfort. And Toru was more than willing to give it. He hummed softly to her an old lullaby his mother used to sing to him, hoping that it would calm down his near-hysterical cousin.
The song worked. Soon Sumire's sobbing was reduced to mere sniffles, until nothing was heard anymore. Toru looked down at her, and realized that she had fallen asleep. Fallen asleep while crying…
He carefully tucked her in, smiling down at her all the while. She was truly the little sister he never had, and he always thanked the gods that he had her with him now. He only wished that he could do something for her right now than just hum a song to help her sleep…
That's the last, he told himself as he went back to bed. That is the last time I'm ever going to see a girl cry for whatever reason. That's the last time I'm ever going to let a girl cry like that if there is something I can do to help her.
~ ~ ~
"Oi, what are you two doing just standing there?!"
Toru snapped out of his thoughts, and turned to the source of the sound. Sumire was glaring at him and Fujima, her foot tapping against the floor in impatience.
Her eyebrow went up slowly in such a way that it almost made Toru cringe. "You know, it won't do you any good to just stand there when the rest of the team is practicing."
Toru grinned, immediately eliciting a small smile from his cousin. "Hai, hai, we're getting to work now, Mire-chan." As he and Fujima resumed their practice, one thought continually circled his mind. What is wrong with Mire-chan??
* * *
Sumire sighed as she looked over the stats of the day, comparing them with the previous week's records. The writing she had done that day was messy, more like the scribbling of a child when compared to her neat, legible handwriting done the previous week.
But how can I avoid it? Her heart lurched painfully then, all the images from the past week clouding up her mind. Too many things had come together all at once, and she did not like it one bit. It made her feel so confused, so…helpless. Why did it have to happen now?! Why did he have to come back and ruin my life all over again?! Just seeing him…just seeing him reminds me of what happened two years ago…
"Ne Sumire…doushitano?"
Surprised, Sumire jerked her head up to look at the speaker, and stared right into Fujima's dark blue eyes. "Eh? Fujima-sempai, what are you doing here?"
Fujima chuckled then. "I was going to ask you the same question. But since you asked first, I was waiting for you."
"Waiting for me? Naze?"
"So I could walk you home."
Sumire looked around, and realized that everyone else had gone. There was no one else in the gym except her and Fujima. And in that instance, she wanted to get away from him, put as much space between the two of them as she could.
But is that what I really want? A part of Sumire didn't want her to move away from him. It wanted her to sit close to him, as close as she could get. There was a part of her that so wanted to feel his hand holding hers, to feel his arms around her, to feel his lips against hers…
A gentle hand alighted on her left shoulder then, and she looked up to see Fujima bending over the notebook of records. "Can I have a look at that?"
Unable to speak and unable control the blush that was surely spreading all over her face, Sumire passed him the notebook, trying to avoid making eye contact with him. She heard the scrape of a chair as Fujima pulled one up to sit beside her as he leafed through the notebook. She tried her best not to look at him, rattling off things in a mindless manner.
At last, he smiled, and closed the notebook. "I don't see any mistakes in this one, Sumire. Your record-keeping style really makes it easy for me."
"Well, if that's the case then I should be going," Sumire said quietly as she got up from her chair, and picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder as she headed for the door. I must get as far away as I can from him…any longer and I…I might…
"Sumire…why are you pushing me away? Why are you so intent on keeping me at arm's length?" Fujima asked, his voice clearly laced with the worry and confusion that he was feeling at that moment. "You weren't like this before…"
Sumire froze, her hand already on the door. She squeezed her bag strap tighter, trying to get a hold on her emotions and keep her voice even. "I'm not sure I know what you mean, Fujima-sempai."
When Fujima didn't respond, she knew that it was a good time to make her escape. She could not stand another second with him, because she was so afraid that she would break and reveal her deepest secrets to him. No, he cannot find out…he must not find out…
A hand shot out to grab her shoulder even as she pushed the door open to leave. That hand gently turned her around to face him. Sumire focused her eyes on the floor, looking at her shoes. If she made eye contact, she knew that she would break. And she did not want to. She had been broken one too many times already, and she knew how much it would hurt her in the end. She did not want to feel the pain anymore. She had suffered too much.
But he did not know that, of course, so he continued, torturing her though he did not know it. "Don't go…onegai, Sumire…don't go." His voice was pleading and gentle, everything that Sumire knew she did not deserve from anyone, more so from a man like Fujima. She felt his fingers come around her chin, pushing it upwards so that she was forced to gaze into his eyes. They were like clear, limpid pools of water, and she could see right into his soul.
What she saw there was heartbreaking. Tenderness as she had never seen or received before, confusion, worry, pain… And what was that? What was that she could see underneath it all? Love…
She could not take it any longer. She had to get away from him, spare him – and herself – the trouble and the pain. I-I cannot…no, I could never… "STAY AWAY FROM ME!!!!!" She took several steps away from him, wrapping her arms around her body in a shield.
He was stunned, she could tell. But he was also curious. And knowing Fujima-sempai the way she did, she knew that there was no stopping his inquiries now. "Naze, Sumire? Why would you want me to stay away from you?" He took a step closer to her, a small, hesitant step, but it narrowed the gap between them, the gap that Sumire needed to maintain her sanity.
Sumire could not answer. If she said anything at all, she knew that she would tell him of her horrible past, and once she did, he would turn her away. She winced, and looked away from him. I cannot tell him… I cannot look at him… Oh God, why did it have to be this way?! Why…why did it have to be me?!
He began talking again, but his voice was more certain, more sure, though the emotion trembled just beneath the surface. "It already feels like forever, Sumire…when I think back on how I first knew you. And when you joined the team as manager, I couldn't have been happier than that day you first came into the gym. I guess that…since then, I couldn't stop thinking about you…"
Sumire froze totally, unable to move. She should have made a run for it now, but she couldn't. Her body wasn't cooperating at all. She knew what he was trying to do, but she could not look at him at all.
And yet, he continued. "Every practice, every game…when you would be cheering us on from the sidelines, I always felt so happy. I felt that I had to be at my best level, that I had to give my best performance because YOU were there, watching me and encouraging me."
He took another step closer, and now she was just an arm's length away from him. "And when you would talk to me, I always listened to the sound of your voice…I always listened to the melody in it, to the words that came out of your mouth because you talked with sense. I always tried to make you laugh because I loved hearing you laugh…"
Here Fujima trailed off, and he gazed at her, watching her. Sumire could feel his eyes trying to bore through the protective black veil she had created using her hair, trying to shield her eyes from his prying gaze. It felt like a tsunami had come crashing down on her, overwhelming her and making breathing difficult. The silence they had created was more unbearable than any kind of noise. The words would not come out of her throat; her limbs felt as though they had lead weights attached to them; and her wits had suddenly decided to take a vacation during this extremely crucial moment.
And after a while, he spoke again. "Sumire, you're a very special girl. And I don't ever want to see you get hurt. It's hurting me too, when I see you like this. You try to hide the sadness, but I can see it through your smile, I can see it through the mask you always wear. That's why I always try to be close to you…because I want to erase that sadness…
"I guess what I'm trying to say, Sumire, is that I love you. I love you and I care for you a lot. If you don't feel the same way, I would understand. But that won't stop me from loving you, Sumire. That won't stop me from loving the person you are…"
Sumire's heart stopped beating almost completely, only to return with a triple-time beat. She felt as if her lungs had been squeezed together to prevent air from entering or escaping and every air passage struggled to heave in more oxygen.
Thoughts spiraled through her like a tornado, dizzying and confusing Sumire. What should she say? That she was happy? Should she be proud that Shoyo's most popular guy actually had feelings for her, a lowly freshman? That she actually had him hook, line and sinker? Were his words sincere? Was he really being honest?
Her mind and heart were having a debate going on as to how she should react. It would have been okay if they were only two, but both her heart and mind were subdivided, creating more chaos in her mind.
Does he love me, she silently wondered, scarcely daring to believe what she had heard, when a cold voice spoke up.
No, he doesn't. He's using you, it said, cruelty laced in its tone. That statement alone planted the feeling of doubt in Sumire's mind. A feeling she wanted to erase but couldn't ignore.
What if he does love me, she argued back, trying to justify that part of her that wished for love. Feelings warred, thoughts gave way to uncertainty, and Sumire felt herself slowly succumbing to all of them.
You don't deserve him, said another voice, equally as cruel and as cold as the first.
But what about what I think, she protested, still wanting to keep a hold on her feelings, though they were slowly slipping away.
You were raped. Do you think he actually cares for you because of who you are, sneered a third voice, taunting her weakness.
Yes, he does, she insisted, not wanting to hear anymore, but too hypnotized not to listen.
No, he does not! He'll leave you after he finds out about what happened, the first voice spoke up again.
What should I do?
Walk away. He deserves someone better than you. Someone who hasn't been touched, suggested the second, half-cruel and half-sympathetic now.
Tears stung the back of her eyes, but she had to do it. It would be better for the both of them. It would be better that he forget about her. He did not deserve her, as what those voices had said. She was unworthy of his love and he would be wasting his time on her.
She summoned up her courage, and forced the words to get out of her throat. "I'm sorry, Fujima-sempai, I can't…" She turned to him slowly, ever so slowly, trying to find the courage to hurt him in what was perhaps the cruelest way possible. The emotions that were swirling in the deep blue depths of his eyes caused tremors to pass through her, but she steeled her heart and delivered the coup d' grace.
"I can't love you back!!!"
AUTHOR'S OOC:
Harle cackles evilly: MUAHAHAHAHA!!! CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!
Maia whacks Harle upside on the head: Baka!!! You know how much readers HATE cliffhangers!!! You're one of those people too, and you don't have the decency to AVOID these things?!?!
Harle shrugs: I know that cliffhangers can be annoying, but this chapter was getting LONG!!! What better place to cut it than at that part?!
Chibi-Sumire whimpers: I don't like being left in limbo like this… Do you know how difficult it is to maintain this face until the next chapter?!
Chibi-Fujima narrows eyes at Harle: Mire-chan's right; you really DO like torturing your characters!!! And to think, I'm not even one of your OC's!!!
Harle waves hand: Whatever. turns to readers Oh yeah, and dear readers, I must tell you that some of the dialogue I took from a lemon fic written by Mainime (a.k.a. Maia ^_^), which I asked her to write specifically for this fic. I'll put it up as an extension to this fic, but only when I'm through with this one. So watch out for that one, okay? Anyway, I know you guys are eager to get on to the next chapter, so get to it!!!