Author's note : Very good point, Anna.J I wanted to address that. Frodo is a bit passive in this encounter. A couple of reasons:…he's drunk…and weak…and feeling the effects of being separated from the Ring. Its causing him to be rather desperate. This is actually going to come out in this next chapter. After a few hours…he's become more himself. And…I'm sure all you who want more than gloom and doom will adore this chapter. This chapter is told from Frodo's POV, you'll understand why later on. Also keep in mind that the previous chapters were from the Elleth's point of view. She saw Frodo differently than we do. J
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CHAPTER 11 : Regaining Sanity
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I rested in her lap. She -was- warmer than the floor after all. The past …how many hours had it been? I couldn't really remember. Everything still hurt. I remembered moving in and out of consciousness while they…tended to me. My mind had been slowly coming out of the haze that it had been in after…I didn't want to think about that…in fact…if I could just get the images out of my head…I'd never think about it again. I shuddered.
She took that as the fever returning. Whatever it was she had given me in the mixture had managed to bring it down far more than any other time I had been ill. Perhaps it was due to the herbs not being found anywhere but in this evil land. I wondered if I was thankful for that. As I looked up at her, I knew that she had assumed the fever had come back. I was still rather warm.
My gaze averted from hers and I looked over at the Orc, he was my main obstacle. I felt sure that I could surprise her well enough that she would not have time to react…but him…he'd stop me in an instant. I knew that she would not help me. She had long since given up. I hadn't though, I knew the others were out there…and Sam…thank Elbereth. Sam had not been captured. I still had a chance. With luck…he had the Ring.
I should not have thought of that…but it was too late. The idea of the Ring in someone else's hands, much less Sam's was beginning to give me a headache. I swallowed nervously, what if he took it…what if…he left me and took the Ring for himself? I tried hard to focus. Sam would never do that to me. I had to get the image of the Ring out of my mind if I wanted to form a plan. The longer I stayed here…the farther away it would get…and I couldn't bear that. It -was- giving me the strength to think though, the Ring. It gleamed in my mind like a beacon. I had to get to it. My breathing became a little shallow and I felt her hands on my chest as she dabbed at it with a cold cloth. When she brushed over one or two of my scars, I grimaced. This would not be easy. I was in a lot of pain.
I took a deep breath, "Merilas?"
"Yes Frodo?" her voice was softer than it usually had been. I looked up at her, and like most others…my eyes tended to attract them.
"Please…is there anything…solid to eat? Bread…or something?" I asked, though there was a little lurch in my stomach. The idea of solid food was not appealing…especially solid food made by Orcs.
She frowned slightly, looking down at me and I wondered if she realized what I was doing. I couldn't tell. She had a way about her that made it nearly impossible to tell her feelings. I smiled as weakly as I could manage, I didn't want her to realize that I had regained my senses.
"Not here, Frodo…But I'll have someone get it for you." she looked over at Karkosh who rose and shambled towards us. I shuddered, I hated Orcs…more so now than ever. I couldn't help but cower against her and hated myself for being so weak. I strove for control, battling my emotions as they stirred within me. "Karkosh, go to the kitchens and bring a loaf of bread." she nodded to the Orc. He seemed not altogether pleased at the idea, but she seemed to have some kind of … control over him. I couldn't imagine knowing an Orc…I didn't -want- to know an Orc. All I wanted was him to be out of the room.
Karkosh grumbled about the futility of wasting food on someone who was already dead. He climbed down the ladder…and then he took it away from the trap door, lying it against the floor. I frowned slightly…how was I going to get down now? I'd have to jump. As silence descended upon us, and she continued to bathe my chest, I strained to hear his footsteps as they went down the corridor.
Merilas was tending to me well enough, but I had come to realize…why she was doing it. They were making sure they could make me talk…about the Ring. And I never would. It was mine…my own. I wanted to get it back, I -would- get it back. I -had- to. My breathing became a little irregular and I managed with difficulty to calm myself. If I didn't take this chance, it may never come again. No matter what happened…I had to try. The Ring…if I focused on it, it gave me strength.
She -was- caught off guard when I suddenly used all that was left within me to shove myself away from her. She tumbled to the side, staring at me in shock. "Frodo…no." she cried at me. But it had already begun, and I wasn't backing down now. She tried to catch hold of me, but I struggled. Because I wasn't wearing anything, there was nothing for her to really catch hold of. Eventually I managed to slip out of her grasp, and grab the coat. I stumbled…still feeling a little woozy…Come on Frodo…I told myself. Its now or never.
I glanced only once back at her. She was standing there, watching me. I realized just then that she was not going to stop me. I tried to smile…I wanted her to come with me, but she shook her head. She was not going to. She was going to stay here. I felt a pang of regret…for lost innocence…for the loss of an elf. "Thank-you." I told her gently, then dropped the coat down the trap door to the bottom of the floor. I grimaced at the height. I might break my neck…but I had no other choice. I had learned how to tumble in the past…running about in Buckland and getting out of trouble then.
I had to do it.
I took a deep breath…and jumped.
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CHAPTER 11 : Regaining Sanity
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I rested in her lap. She -was- warmer than the floor after all. The past …how many hours had it been? I couldn't really remember. Everything still hurt. I remembered moving in and out of consciousness while they…tended to me. My mind had been slowly coming out of the haze that it had been in after…I didn't want to think about that…in fact…if I could just get the images out of my head…I'd never think about it again. I shuddered.
She took that as the fever returning. Whatever it was she had given me in the mixture had managed to bring it down far more than any other time I had been ill. Perhaps it was due to the herbs not being found anywhere but in this evil land. I wondered if I was thankful for that. As I looked up at her, I knew that she had assumed the fever had come back. I was still rather warm.
My gaze averted from hers and I looked over at the Orc, he was my main obstacle. I felt sure that I could surprise her well enough that she would not have time to react…but him…he'd stop me in an instant. I knew that she would not help me. She had long since given up. I hadn't though, I knew the others were out there…and Sam…thank Elbereth. Sam had not been captured. I still had a chance. With luck…he had the Ring.
I should not have thought of that…but it was too late. The idea of the Ring in someone else's hands, much less Sam's was beginning to give me a headache. I swallowed nervously, what if he took it…what if…he left me and took the Ring for himself? I tried hard to focus. Sam would never do that to me. I had to get the image of the Ring out of my mind if I wanted to form a plan. The longer I stayed here…the farther away it would get…and I couldn't bear that. It -was- giving me the strength to think though, the Ring. It gleamed in my mind like a beacon. I had to get to it. My breathing became a little shallow and I felt her hands on my chest as she dabbed at it with a cold cloth. When she brushed over one or two of my scars, I grimaced. This would not be easy. I was in a lot of pain.
I took a deep breath, "Merilas?"
"Yes Frodo?" her voice was softer than it usually had been. I looked up at her, and like most others…my eyes tended to attract them.
"Please…is there anything…solid to eat? Bread…or something?" I asked, though there was a little lurch in my stomach. The idea of solid food was not appealing…especially solid food made by Orcs.
She frowned slightly, looking down at me and I wondered if she realized what I was doing. I couldn't tell. She had a way about her that made it nearly impossible to tell her feelings. I smiled as weakly as I could manage, I didn't want her to realize that I had regained my senses.
"Not here, Frodo…But I'll have someone get it for you." she looked over at Karkosh who rose and shambled towards us. I shuddered, I hated Orcs…more so now than ever. I couldn't help but cower against her and hated myself for being so weak. I strove for control, battling my emotions as they stirred within me. "Karkosh, go to the kitchens and bring a loaf of bread." she nodded to the Orc. He seemed not altogether pleased at the idea, but she seemed to have some kind of … control over him. I couldn't imagine knowing an Orc…I didn't -want- to know an Orc. All I wanted was him to be out of the room.
Karkosh grumbled about the futility of wasting food on someone who was already dead. He climbed down the ladder…and then he took it away from the trap door, lying it against the floor. I frowned slightly…how was I going to get down now? I'd have to jump. As silence descended upon us, and she continued to bathe my chest, I strained to hear his footsteps as they went down the corridor.
Merilas was tending to me well enough, but I had come to realize…why she was doing it. They were making sure they could make me talk…about the Ring. And I never would. It was mine…my own. I wanted to get it back, I -would- get it back. I -had- to. My breathing became a little irregular and I managed with difficulty to calm myself. If I didn't take this chance, it may never come again. No matter what happened…I had to try. The Ring…if I focused on it, it gave me strength.
She -was- caught off guard when I suddenly used all that was left within me to shove myself away from her. She tumbled to the side, staring at me in shock. "Frodo…no." she cried at me. But it had already begun, and I wasn't backing down now. She tried to catch hold of me, but I struggled. Because I wasn't wearing anything, there was nothing for her to really catch hold of. Eventually I managed to slip out of her grasp, and grab the coat. I stumbled…still feeling a little woozy…Come on Frodo…I told myself. Its now or never.
I glanced only once back at her. She was standing there, watching me. I realized just then that she was not going to stop me. I tried to smile…I wanted her to come with me, but she shook her head. She was not going to. She was going to stay here. I felt a pang of regret…for lost innocence…for the loss of an elf. "Thank-you." I told her gently, then dropped the coat down the trap door to the bottom of the floor. I grimaced at the height. I might break my neck…but I had no other choice. I had learned how to tumble in the past…running about in Buckland and getting out of trouble then.
I had to do it.
I took a deep breath…and jumped.
* * *