Author's note : This one is for all you Merilas fans.J I REALLY appreciate all the reviews. I decided to try and get one more chapter out today because I might not be able to get anything out tomorrow as I have SCA things.
Warning : There is a violent scene in this chapter. J
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN -- Discovering her Heart
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I watched him as he stood there, unsteady on his feet. His skin gleamed against the darkness as he tossed the coat down, I had never been so amazed at the sheer courage of such a small being. He wanted me to go with him…but I knew I could not. I wanted to…I wanted to make sure he got out of the tower alive…but then…where would I be? I looked down at the chains that bound my ankles together, I would not be of any help to him.
He sighed then and I watched, holding the blanket. He leapt down and I heard him as he tumbled to the floor. My heart leapt when I realized that he had made it. Then I listened as he stayed down there for a while, I wasn't sure exactly what he was doing, but I know he must have been catching his breath. I went over to the tiny window of the tower room and looked out over the land below.
A haze from the fires obscured most of it below, but I knew what was down there. I saw it every day, a reminder of the blighted land that I was in…those that lived here…destroyed what at one time had been a place of beauty…when the world was new. It reminded me of how I had been destroyed, how my beauty had been taken from me. How everything that made me what I was had been twisted and corrupted. Misshapen to fit their own cruel world.
He had brought a part of me back that I thought had been gone forever. I fingered the blanket in my hands remembering the tiny brave smile he had given me. He was willing to risk everything to get out…to be away from this land. But he'd only been here not much more than a day. It was all still new to him, still unreal…he still had hope of people who would come for him. People who cared.
Was I one of those people now…I cringed a bit as I heard Karkosh coming back. There was something I was going to have to do. If I was to save myself…and if I was to buy Frodo some time. I didn't hold out much hope that he would make it very far…and if he was found…I wanted to be the one to find him. He was too weak…and though he wanted to be brave…I knew that there was a good chance he was overestimating his strength.
It was a pity it was Karkosh that I had to do this to. He was not all that bad for an Orc, he even had something of a personality. He was big and kind of stupid. He'd never amount to anything anyway, and chances are one of the Orcs above him would eventually kill him. I formed every reason in my mind why this was okay. It was for Frodo…it was for me…it was so that I could go freely about the tower. Free to search for him. Free to be prepared when I found him.
Karkosh meant next to nothing in my heart, he was an Orc, and they were the cause of my misery, and the cause of the death of 7 people I knew and cared about. I wasn't going to let them cause the death of another. If I couldn't be there for myself…I wanted to be there for Frodo. Karkosh had raised his hand against me more than one time in the past. I didn't feel particularly vindicated…for I was planning to take a life…it was not the elf way…I shook my head, I was no longer an elf. That part of me was dead forever, except for a few things that I could not get rid of…I was tainted…and corrupted. That was why Elbereth had abandoned me. I accepted it. I really did.
I waited.
Karkosh shambled up the ladder and blinked around, trying to access the situation. He couldn't find the hobbit at first and as I predicted, he became angry. "Where is it, what did you do with it?" he cried out…rushing towards me.
This gave me the courage to do what I had to. I had the element of surprise on my side, and I was still nimble and quick. As he grabbed my shoulders, his rough fingers pressing into my skin, I reached down and drew his sword from its sheath, quick as lightning. Without waiting to think, without waiting for him to say anything else, I slashed the blade up across his belly once…and then down again, slicing as if I was cutting into a piece of fruit. He buckled…his legs giving away under him in shock. He stared at me with wide bulging eyes, shock evident.
He had, after all…forgotten I was an elf. I knew how to kill an Orc.
He screamed…and the sound echoed down the corridor as his stomach spilled blood onto my dress. I shoved him away onto the floor and dropped the blade nearby him, turning away and covering my ears. I forced myself to turn around and look at my handiwork, my eyes wide. Surprised…no tears…no feeling as I looked at the dying Orc. He convulsed slightly, reaching out towards me… and then lay still…in a pool of blood.
I took the blade up again, and cut the side of my arm…wincing in pain. It was all part of my plan. Once that was done, I went to the window and tossed the blade out. A patrol was coming. I sank to the floor, and put on my best wretched expression.
It was Shagrat…he lept up the ladder with his people and was immediately barking orders when he saw that the hobbit was gone and I explained what happened. "He surprised us. He was not as weak as we thought he was. " I stared at my Master, shivering slightly. I held the side of my arm and winced. "He took Karkosh's sword…slew him…and sliced at me when I tried to stop him." my lips curled, "He won't get far…he's wounded…and he's not strong."
Shagrat stared at me, then brushed my hand away to check my wound. He grumbled at it. He was very possessive...he did not like his .. Things…to be damaged….unless he was the one who ordered it. "Get you help for that." I hated the feel of his fingers on my skin but I stood there and did not pull away. "I can't spare anyone to escort you. Go."
And I obeyed…it had worked. They'd bought it. I glanced only once back at the corpse of the Orc that I had sacrificed for Frodo. I'd never think of him again. I climbed down the ladder while they started arguing with each other and took a bandage from my pouch. I wrapped my arm as best I could, it really wasn't that bad a wound and proceeded with my plan.
First…I needed supplies. Frodo wasn't going anywhere, as I walked down the hallway, my senses could pick up where he'd gone. Orcs were not as good at tracking as elves were. I saw a bloodstain here or there…hard to pick out against the dark walls. I knew which stairwell he'd taken, but I had another destination in mind. I'd find him.
I grimaced, I hated going to that particular part of the Tower…it always managed to disgust me no matter how many times I went. I made my way down the staircase, watching as patrols of Orcs blundered by. They wouldn't find him. He was too small…and too quick. He'd find some place to hide. And once he did...I doubted that he'd be able to get up again.
I finally made it to the kitchens and held my breath as I walked in. The lucid smell immediately assaulted my nostrils and I tried to hold my breath. There were two butchers carving at…a carcass…They were tossing the pieces of meat into a basin while the scraps were left on the floor for the rats. They argued with each other while I passed by them. Other carcasses were waiting to be sliced open, there were barrels of pungent mead as well as a selection of fruits and vegetables that looked like they had seen better days.
Nothing really grew well in Mordor, but that was just as well for Orcs. Food wasn't a big issue...as long as they could eat it, they would. Rotten or whole. It mattered very little to an Orcs stomach. I glanced around the next room where a cook was preparing several jars for storage. I found one particular barrel that was filled with mashed fruit. I peered at it as another cook rushed by me. They knew who I was and did not do anything to stop me. I looked around at the other barrels. Flies buzzed about by the meat, but they were leaving the mashed fruit alone. I didn't want to know what was in the other barrels.
I knew it was because of the ferment that was used during the mashing. It was not something that attracted insects, it was meant to keep them away. It really didnt take away the flavor, it just congealed the fruit a bit. The jars were used for traveling. A easy quick meal. Army rations...you might say. However, this was only the first step...they would later be mixed with a kind of glucous that was made from unpasturized milk. After that they add flour and oil to it. The end result would put anyone who wasn't an Orc in a bad temper.
The mashed fruit would be good enough, I decided. At least it hadn't been ruined yet. I grabbed a jar and filled it, then sealed the lid. I put the jar back in my pouch and then looked around for an icebox where I knew there would be some milk. I found a gourd there, for it was made ready for drinking, and easy to carry. They didn't question me.
On my way out the door I stopped by the linen cabinet and grabbed a blanket, and several bits of cloth when no one was looking an stuffed them into a sac. I also managed to get ahold of a waterskin. That would be enough. I took a deep breath and made my way out of the kitchen. I rested in the cooridor for a moment glancing around, there were no patrols down here, they were all in the upper levels.
I walked around to the other end of the tower and began to climb the stairs that would lead to where I wanted to end up. I knew which staircase Frodo had taken, it was now just a matter of using my own senses to find him. Hang on. I thought to myself. I knew that he was weak…and I was having a hard time thinking about him lying in the dark with no one but rats for company. He was not as strong as he wanted to be and I hoped I wasn't too late when I got to him.
I did care. I knew that now, I k new -why- I was doing this…risking my life. Risking torture and even death. He should not have had to be here. He should be safe and warm in the Shire. This was no place for him. I would find him. I plastered myself against the stairwell as a patroll thundered down. It was easy to get around the tower now, everyone was focused on finding the Hobbit. They were all ignoring me.
"I'm coming Frodo." I whispered into the darkness. "Elbereth protect you."
Warning : There is a violent scene in this chapter. J
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CHAPTER THIRTEEN -- Discovering her Heart
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I watched him as he stood there, unsteady on his feet. His skin gleamed against the darkness as he tossed the coat down, I had never been so amazed at the sheer courage of such a small being. He wanted me to go with him…but I knew I could not. I wanted to…I wanted to make sure he got out of the tower alive…but then…where would I be? I looked down at the chains that bound my ankles together, I would not be of any help to him.
He sighed then and I watched, holding the blanket. He leapt down and I heard him as he tumbled to the floor. My heart leapt when I realized that he had made it. Then I listened as he stayed down there for a while, I wasn't sure exactly what he was doing, but I know he must have been catching his breath. I went over to the tiny window of the tower room and looked out over the land below.
A haze from the fires obscured most of it below, but I knew what was down there. I saw it every day, a reminder of the blighted land that I was in…those that lived here…destroyed what at one time had been a place of beauty…when the world was new. It reminded me of how I had been destroyed, how my beauty had been taken from me. How everything that made me what I was had been twisted and corrupted. Misshapen to fit their own cruel world.
He had brought a part of me back that I thought had been gone forever. I fingered the blanket in my hands remembering the tiny brave smile he had given me. He was willing to risk everything to get out…to be away from this land. But he'd only been here not much more than a day. It was all still new to him, still unreal…he still had hope of people who would come for him. People who cared.
Was I one of those people now…I cringed a bit as I heard Karkosh coming back. There was something I was going to have to do. If I was to save myself…and if I was to buy Frodo some time. I didn't hold out much hope that he would make it very far…and if he was found…I wanted to be the one to find him. He was too weak…and though he wanted to be brave…I knew that there was a good chance he was overestimating his strength.
It was a pity it was Karkosh that I had to do this to. He was not all that bad for an Orc, he even had something of a personality. He was big and kind of stupid. He'd never amount to anything anyway, and chances are one of the Orcs above him would eventually kill him. I formed every reason in my mind why this was okay. It was for Frodo…it was for me…it was so that I could go freely about the tower. Free to search for him. Free to be prepared when I found him.
Karkosh meant next to nothing in my heart, he was an Orc, and they were the cause of my misery, and the cause of the death of 7 people I knew and cared about. I wasn't going to let them cause the death of another. If I couldn't be there for myself…I wanted to be there for Frodo. Karkosh had raised his hand against me more than one time in the past. I didn't feel particularly vindicated…for I was planning to take a life…it was not the elf way…I shook my head, I was no longer an elf. That part of me was dead forever, except for a few things that I could not get rid of…I was tainted…and corrupted. That was why Elbereth had abandoned me. I accepted it. I really did.
I waited.
Karkosh shambled up the ladder and blinked around, trying to access the situation. He couldn't find the hobbit at first and as I predicted, he became angry. "Where is it, what did you do with it?" he cried out…rushing towards me.
This gave me the courage to do what I had to. I had the element of surprise on my side, and I was still nimble and quick. As he grabbed my shoulders, his rough fingers pressing into my skin, I reached down and drew his sword from its sheath, quick as lightning. Without waiting to think, without waiting for him to say anything else, I slashed the blade up across his belly once…and then down again, slicing as if I was cutting into a piece of fruit. He buckled…his legs giving away under him in shock. He stared at me with wide bulging eyes, shock evident.
He had, after all…forgotten I was an elf. I knew how to kill an Orc.
He screamed…and the sound echoed down the corridor as his stomach spilled blood onto my dress. I shoved him away onto the floor and dropped the blade nearby him, turning away and covering my ears. I forced myself to turn around and look at my handiwork, my eyes wide. Surprised…no tears…no feeling as I looked at the dying Orc. He convulsed slightly, reaching out towards me… and then lay still…in a pool of blood.
I took the blade up again, and cut the side of my arm…wincing in pain. It was all part of my plan. Once that was done, I went to the window and tossed the blade out. A patrol was coming. I sank to the floor, and put on my best wretched expression.
It was Shagrat…he lept up the ladder with his people and was immediately barking orders when he saw that the hobbit was gone and I explained what happened. "He surprised us. He was not as weak as we thought he was. " I stared at my Master, shivering slightly. I held the side of my arm and winced. "He took Karkosh's sword…slew him…and sliced at me when I tried to stop him." my lips curled, "He won't get far…he's wounded…and he's not strong."
Shagrat stared at me, then brushed my hand away to check my wound. He grumbled at it. He was very possessive...he did not like his .. Things…to be damaged….unless he was the one who ordered it. "Get you help for that." I hated the feel of his fingers on my skin but I stood there and did not pull away. "I can't spare anyone to escort you. Go."
And I obeyed…it had worked. They'd bought it. I glanced only once back at the corpse of the Orc that I had sacrificed for Frodo. I'd never think of him again. I climbed down the ladder while they started arguing with each other and took a bandage from my pouch. I wrapped my arm as best I could, it really wasn't that bad a wound and proceeded with my plan.
First…I needed supplies. Frodo wasn't going anywhere, as I walked down the hallway, my senses could pick up where he'd gone. Orcs were not as good at tracking as elves were. I saw a bloodstain here or there…hard to pick out against the dark walls. I knew which stairwell he'd taken, but I had another destination in mind. I'd find him.
I grimaced, I hated going to that particular part of the Tower…it always managed to disgust me no matter how many times I went. I made my way down the staircase, watching as patrols of Orcs blundered by. They wouldn't find him. He was too small…and too quick. He'd find some place to hide. And once he did...I doubted that he'd be able to get up again.
I finally made it to the kitchens and held my breath as I walked in. The lucid smell immediately assaulted my nostrils and I tried to hold my breath. There were two butchers carving at…a carcass…They were tossing the pieces of meat into a basin while the scraps were left on the floor for the rats. They argued with each other while I passed by them. Other carcasses were waiting to be sliced open, there were barrels of pungent mead as well as a selection of fruits and vegetables that looked like they had seen better days.
Nothing really grew well in Mordor, but that was just as well for Orcs. Food wasn't a big issue...as long as they could eat it, they would. Rotten or whole. It mattered very little to an Orcs stomach. I glanced around the next room where a cook was preparing several jars for storage. I found one particular barrel that was filled with mashed fruit. I peered at it as another cook rushed by me. They knew who I was and did not do anything to stop me. I looked around at the other barrels. Flies buzzed about by the meat, but they were leaving the mashed fruit alone. I didn't want to know what was in the other barrels.
I knew it was because of the ferment that was used during the mashing. It was not something that attracted insects, it was meant to keep them away. It really didnt take away the flavor, it just congealed the fruit a bit. The jars were used for traveling. A easy quick meal. Army rations...you might say. However, this was only the first step...they would later be mixed with a kind of glucous that was made from unpasturized milk. After that they add flour and oil to it. The end result would put anyone who wasn't an Orc in a bad temper.
The mashed fruit would be good enough, I decided. At least it hadn't been ruined yet. I grabbed a jar and filled it, then sealed the lid. I put the jar back in my pouch and then looked around for an icebox where I knew there would be some milk. I found a gourd there, for it was made ready for drinking, and easy to carry. They didn't question me.
On my way out the door I stopped by the linen cabinet and grabbed a blanket, and several bits of cloth when no one was looking an stuffed them into a sac. I also managed to get ahold of a waterskin. That would be enough. I took a deep breath and made my way out of the kitchen. I rested in the cooridor for a moment glancing around, there were no patrols down here, they were all in the upper levels.
I walked around to the other end of the tower and began to climb the stairs that would lead to where I wanted to end up. I knew which staircase Frodo had taken, it was now just a matter of using my own senses to find him. Hang on. I thought to myself. I knew that he was weak…and I was having a hard time thinking about him lying in the dark with no one but rats for company. He was not as strong as he wanted to be and I hoped I wasn't too late when I got to him.
I did care. I knew that now, I k new -why- I was doing this…risking my life. Risking torture and even death. He should not have had to be here. He should be safe and warm in the Shire. This was no place for him. I would find him. I plastered myself against the stairwell as a patroll thundered down. It was easy to get around the tower now, everyone was focused on finding the Hobbit. They were all ignoring me.
"I'm coming Frodo." I whispered into the darkness. "Elbereth protect you."