Hey and welcome to my first colab, written with my friend ElectraFairford.
The summary should explain the basic point of this.secondary characters
from LOTR demand to have their own grand adventure. Stupid humor and slash
jokes, (via me) will be ever present in this, and some G/H slash later.
Just to inform you.Deagol is alive for the purposes of this and Smeagol is
separated from Gollum now which means they have *two separate* bodies! Oh
and Dis is a dwarf. Um.Elvish speech is in ' ', and the setting is in
Rivendell. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: We don't own any of this except for two very battered sets of Lord of the Rings books.
*************************************************************
The elven paradise of Rivendell was very dreary on the chilly autumn morning when our story begins. The twin sons of lord Elrond stood at the edge of a balcony, watching seven figures approach.
'Faramir has gotten them here on time,' murmured Elladan to his brother.
'I always loved that human,' said Elrohir with a slight smile on his face.
'Ewww!' yelled Elladan backing away.
'Not like that!' cried Elrohir, disgusted that his brother could think of something so vile.
'I apologize brother,' said Elladan gallantly. 'Come, let us go greet our fellow outcasts shall we?'
'Of course,' said Elrohir in the same fashion. 'I could never be mad at you for long.'
*************************************************************
"Thank you for coming here to help us with our campaign," said Elrohir passing lembras to the seated group which included; Faramir, Radagast, Bilbo, Glorfindel, Rosie Cotton, Dis, Deagol, and.Smeagol?
"Wait a minute!' said Elladan. "Aren't you Gollum?"
"That can't be Gollum!" remarked Elrohir. "Gollum is all.gross."
"Aye indeed he is," said Smegol. "I was once him.or a part of him, until we decided to go our separate ways. It was all for the best. I couldn't put up with it any longer. You don't want to know what runs through that guys head."
Everyone's face screwed up in disgust and Deagol clamped his hands over his mouth.
"Right." said Elrohir. "So anyways.I have gathered you all here to discuss with my father, Lord Elrond about getting us bigger roles. I mean I just can't *stand* here and watch Aragorn get all the glory! Can you?"
They all chorused, "No!"
"Don't you want a chance to be recognized instead of being called, Boromir's brother or that freaky old hobbit who did the Gollum face?"
"No!"
"Don't you want fan girls?"
"Yes! More than anything!"
"So what are we going to do about it?"
"Wait, hold it!" shouted Rosie Cotton, standing on her chair so she could be seen. "Some of us aren't guy's you know!"
"Sorry," muttered Elrohir. "Don't you want fan guys?"
"Yes!" shouted Rosie.
"Well then let's do something about it! To my father's office!"
"To Lord Elrond's office!"
*************************************************************
(In Lord Elrond's office.)
Lord Elrond sat upon his throne, a piece of paper in his hand.
'Oh my beloved,' he sobbed. 'I never even got the chance to say goodbye.' Tenderly he kissed the piece of paper, which bore a picture of the blonde prince of Mirkwood. 'I am going to miss you, especially.'
'Um father,' said Elladan, from outside the door. He didn't want to hear anymore or he would retch in disgust 'Are you alright?'
'Yes,' said Elrond, wiping away his tears. 'Come in my son.'
But he was amazed when not only his two sons, but seven other people, representing various races of Middle Earth came in the door.
'"To what do I owe this honor?" asked Elrond nervously.
"We have come," said Faramir. "To ask a favor of you, my lord."
"Oh," said Elrond, raising his eyebrows. "And what would that be?"
"Bigger roles," all ten of them said together.
"What?"
"You herd us right," said Elrohir.
"We are sick and tired of being forgotten," said Deagol.
"Of seeing our brothers get all the glory."
"Sitting at home knitting while our husbands go out and have grand adventures."
Crickets could be heard chirping from outside the window.
"What?" asked Rosie.
Suddenly a lightbulb appeared above Elrond's head.
"By the Valar." muttered Elladan. "What in the name of Mordor is that?"
"I have an idea!" announced Elrond, and the nine huddled closer in. "How would you all like to go on a grand adventure?"
Cheers where heard.
"To where?" asked Faramir. "And to do what?"
"To destroy the one ring."
Silence was all that was heard now.
"Yes," said Elrond gravely. "The Fellowship has failed."
A/N: Take it away!
Disclaimer: We don't own any of this except for two very battered sets of Lord of the Rings books.
*************************************************************
The elven paradise of Rivendell was very dreary on the chilly autumn morning when our story begins. The twin sons of lord Elrond stood at the edge of a balcony, watching seven figures approach.
'Faramir has gotten them here on time,' murmured Elladan to his brother.
'I always loved that human,' said Elrohir with a slight smile on his face.
'Ewww!' yelled Elladan backing away.
'Not like that!' cried Elrohir, disgusted that his brother could think of something so vile.
'I apologize brother,' said Elladan gallantly. 'Come, let us go greet our fellow outcasts shall we?'
'Of course,' said Elrohir in the same fashion. 'I could never be mad at you for long.'
*************************************************************
"Thank you for coming here to help us with our campaign," said Elrohir passing lembras to the seated group which included; Faramir, Radagast, Bilbo, Glorfindel, Rosie Cotton, Dis, Deagol, and.Smeagol?
"Wait a minute!' said Elladan. "Aren't you Gollum?"
"That can't be Gollum!" remarked Elrohir. "Gollum is all.gross."
"Aye indeed he is," said Smegol. "I was once him.or a part of him, until we decided to go our separate ways. It was all for the best. I couldn't put up with it any longer. You don't want to know what runs through that guys head."
Everyone's face screwed up in disgust and Deagol clamped his hands over his mouth.
"Right." said Elrohir. "So anyways.I have gathered you all here to discuss with my father, Lord Elrond about getting us bigger roles. I mean I just can't *stand* here and watch Aragorn get all the glory! Can you?"
They all chorused, "No!"
"Don't you want a chance to be recognized instead of being called, Boromir's brother or that freaky old hobbit who did the Gollum face?"
"No!"
"Don't you want fan girls?"
"Yes! More than anything!"
"So what are we going to do about it?"
"Wait, hold it!" shouted Rosie Cotton, standing on her chair so she could be seen. "Some of us aren't guy's you know!"
"Sorry," muttered Elrohir. "Don't you want fan guys?"
"Yes!" shouted Rosie.
"Well then let's do something about it! To my father's office!"
"To Lord Elrond's office!"
*************************************************************
(In Lord Elrond's office.)
Lord Elrond sat upon his throne, a piece of paper in his hand.
'Oh my beloved,' he sobbed. 'I never even got the chance to say goodbye.' Tenderly he kissed the piece of paper, which bore a picture of the blonde prince of Mirkwood. 'I am going to miss you, especially.'
'Um father,' said Elladan, from outside the door. He didn't want to hear anymore or he would retch in disgust 'Are you alright?'
'Yes,' said Elrond, wiping away his tears. 'Come in my son.'
But he was amazed when not only his two sons, but seven other people, representing various races of Middle Earth came in the door.
'"To what do I owe this honor?" asked Elrond nervously.
"We have come," said Faramir. "To ask a favor of you, my lord."
"Oh," said Elrond, raising his eyebrows. "And what would that be?"
"Bigger roles," all ten of them said together.
"What?"
"You herd us right," said Elrohir.
"We are sick and tired of being forgotten," said Deagol.
"Of seeing our brothers get all the glory."
"Sitting at home knitting while our husbands go out and have grand adventures."
Crickets could be heard chirping from outside the window.
"What?" asked Rosie.
Suddenly a lightbulb appeared above Elrond's head.
"By the Valar." muttered Elladan. "What in the name of Mordor is that?"
"I have an idea!" announced Elrond, and the nine huddled closer in. "How would you all like to go on a grand adventure?"
Cheers where heard.
"To where?" asked Faramir. "And to do what?"
"To destroy the one ring."
Silence was all that was heard now.
"Yes," said Elrond gravely. "The Fellowship has failed."
A/N: Take it away!