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CHAPTER SIXTEEN : A Friend's Touch
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As I washed him, he kept quiet, trembling. I could tell he was trying not to remember where he was. He closed his eyes and would not look at me, I think he wanted to remain disillusioned. In fact, I was pretty sure of it. I was also fairly sure he -was- aware of where he was, but he just did not want to deal with it. In his mind…it was easier to pretend that he was somewhere else.
"Merilas." finally after I'd finished with him, he was a little cleaner than he was before, and not quite so cold. He had opened his eyes and was looking at me. The fever still wracked his small body, and he was fading in and out of awareness.
"Yes." I nodded, tucking the blankets back around him. I had resecured the bandages and cleaned the weals on his back that he hadn't been able to get to.
"Why did you come back to help me? You c-could have…let them find me…" he stared up at me with an intense look. He seemed to be trying to focus now, that was good, at least he was not giving up.
"I could have." I took a small cup and filled it with the fresh cool milk that I'd taken from the kitchen. "I've only bought you some time Frodo, that's all. And time…for your friends to find you…alive. The Orcs will eventually find us here, but we have a few hours in peace at least."
"A few hours…" he closed his eyes again, "Maybe…maybe it would have been better to just let them find me and…get it over with."
"Just because no one ever found me, does not mean that they won't find you, Frodo." I lifted him a little, and brought the milk to his lips. "I couldn't find any juice that you would like…but have some of this…I still have some of the barley candy…and I brought some apples. You must eat."
"You're risking your life…" Frodo opened his eyes again, "They might kill you." he stared at the milk suspiciously, "I don't…I don't want you to die because of me."
"They won't kill me Frodo." I shook my head. "I'm worth too much to Shagrat."
"Yes…but…" he struggled to sit himself up, but finally gave in and let me cradle him. "They'll … hurt you." after a while he nodded for the milk.
"Yes they will." I helped him take the cup and he drank, a surprised expression filled his eyes, he had not expected to get anything that actually tasted good. It was rare that you could find something prepared by an orc that wasn't mixed with something else.
"I don't want you to be hurt because of me." he licked his lips and winced. He reached up with his little hand to touch the bruise, and hold his jaw in pain for a moment. I took a cloth dipped in cool water and pressed it in his hand so that he could hold it to his mouth. "Too many people…have been hurt because of me…"
"You're important enough that they haven't killed you yet, Frodo." I kept the bottom of my hand against the cup he was holding, adding my strength to his. "Someone will come for you, and you need to stay alive for them."
Frodo sighed, "I doubt it…they are far from here. And the only person who might…" he swallowed. "May already be dead."
"I have a feeling, Frodo, that anyone who cared for you will move mountains to get to you. You just have to survive…and hold on to that. You tried to get out on your own…and …"
"I know…" he sighed, "And I failed…Its hopeless, Meri. I don't think I can take another…I don't think…' he drank a bit more of the milk and then tried to continue, "Every bone in my body hurts…if they…if they did it again…they might…truly break something…and…" he began to shiver just thinking about it. I set the cup down and held him for a moment as he shivered from the very thought of what was in store for him.
"You didn't fail. You bought them some time." I held him gently, "And any amount of time is a luxury, Frodo. I know that…I know that someone will come for you. I can feel it."
"Do you…do you really think so, Meri?" he gazed up at me and reached for the milk again.
"I know that if you were my friend, I wouldn't abandon you here." I said gently and helped him drink once again.
He tried to smile…but the bruise made it painful. "You're my friend…" he told me. And it was then that I realized I was. I had risked a lot to help him. I hadn't done that in a very very long time. Friends…helped each other. It had been a long time since I had a friend.
"Yes, Frodo. I am." I nodded at length.
He sighed again, and curled up against me. "I think I can…try the apples…I'm a little hungry…" he grimaced a little, not really sure what to expect.
"Alright." I nodded, he had calmed down considerably. The fever was still present, but it seemed to be held at bay for now. Calm attention to his wounds…and some fluid in him really is what was needed. Perhaps even…contact with someone who cared about him. I had a few herbs that I would mix with the milk afterwards.
"You're right." he nodded after a while, "Sam…Sam loves me. He won't abandon me. He won't take…" then he frowned slightly. He glanced up at me suspiciously for a fleeting moment then looked away. He seemed to be caught up in a thought that he couldn't get out of his mind.
"Won't take what, Frodo?" I gave him a spoon, and held the jar so that he could keep the cold compress against his jaw while he tried some of the apples. He rested the spoon against the jar, fighting I thought…for control over his emotions.
"Never mind." he shook his head and tried dipping the spoon into the mix. He grimaced at the sound it made and then brought the spoon to his lips. He eyed it for a moment and sighed, nibbling just a little before taking the half-full spoon. He shivered and dropped the spoon. He was still very weak, and I had a feeling it was taking a lot of energy for him to feed himself.
"Would you like me to help you?" I asked after a while.
His pride had taken a great deal of hits during his time here, and I think that if this had not been the case, he would have done his best to eat by himself and would not have wanted to be quite so in need. He looked away from my eyes…embarrassed to ask. "Please…"
I nodded once, then took up the spoon.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN : A Friend's Touch
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As I washed him, he kept quiet, trembling. I could tell he was trying not to remember where he was. He closed his eyes and would not look at me, I think he wanted to remain disillusioned. In fact, I was pretty sure of it. I was also fairly sure he -was- aware of where he was, but he just did not want to deal with it. In his mind…it was easier to pretend that he was somewhere else.
"Merilas." finally after I'd finished with him, he was a little cleaner than he was before, and not quite so cold. He had opened his eyes and was looking at me. The fever still wracked his small body, and he was fading in and out of awareness.
"Yes." I nodded, tucking the blankets back around him. I had resecured the bandages and cleaned the weals on his back that he hadn't been able to get to.
"Why did you come back to help me? You c-could have…let them find me…" he stared up at me with an intense look. He seemed to be trying to focus now, that was good, at least he was not giving up.
"I could have." I took a small cup and filled it with the fresh cool milk that I'd taken from the kitchen. "I've only bought you some time Frodo, that's all. And time…for your friends to find you…alive. The Orcs will eventually find us here, but we have a few hours in peace at least."
"A few hours…" he closed his eyes again, "Maybe…maybe it would have been better to just let them find me and…get it over with."
"Just because no one ever found me, does not mean that they won't find you, Frodo." I lifted him a little, and brought the milk to his lips. "I couldn't find any juice that you would like…but have some of this…I still have some of the barley candy…and I brought some apples. You must eat."
"You're risking your life…" Frodo opened his eyes again, "They might kill you." he stared at the milk suspiciously, "I don't…I don't want you to die because of me."
"They won't kill me Frodo." I shook my head. "I'm worth too much to Shagrat."
"Yes…but…" he struggled to sit himself up, but finally gave in and let me cradle him. "They'll … hurt you." after a while he nodded for the milk.
"Yes they will." I helped him take the cup and he drank, a surprised expression filled his eyes, he had not expected to get anything that actually tasted good. It was rare that you could find something prepared by an orc that wasn't mixed with something else.
"I don't want you to be hurt because of me." he licked his lips and winced. He reached up with his little hand to touch the bruise, and hold his jaw in pain for a moment. I took a cloth dipped in cool water and pressed it in his hand so that he could hold it to his mouth. "Too many people…have been hurt because of me…"
"You're important enough that they haven't killed you yet, Frodo." I kept the bottom of my hand against the cup he was holding, adding my strength to his. "Someone will come for you, and you need to stay alive for them."
Frodo sighed, "I doubt it…they are far from here. And the only person who might…" he swallowed. "May already be dead."
"I have a feeling, Frodo, that anyone who cared for you will move mountains to get to you. You just have to survive…and hold on to that. You tried to get out on your own…and …"
"I know…" he sighed, "And I failed…Its hopeless, Meri. I don't think I can take another…I don't think…' he drank a bit more of the milk and then tried to continue, "Every bone in my body hurts…if they…if they did it again…they might…truly break something…and…" he began to shiver just thinking about it. I set the cup down and held him for a moment as he shivered from the very thought of what was in store for him.
"You didn't fail. You bought them some time." I held him gently, "And any amount of time is a luxury, Frodo. I know that…I know that someone will come for you. I can feel it."
"Do you…do you really think so, Meri?" he gazed up at me and reached for the milk again.
"I know that if you were my friend, I wouldn't abandon you here." I said gently and helped him drink once again.
He tried to smile…but the bruise made it painful. "You're my friend…" he told me. And it was then that I realized I was. I had risked a lot to help him. I hadn't done that in a very very long time. Friends…helped each other. It had been a long time since I had a friend.
"Yes, Frodo. I am." I nodded at length.
He sighed again, and curled up against me. "I think I can…try the apples…I'm a little hungry…" he grimaced a little, not really sure what to expect.
"Alright." I nodded, he had calmed down considerably. The fever was still present, but it seemed to be held at bay for now. Calm attention to his wounds…and some fluid in him really is what was needed. Perhaps even…contact with someone who cared about him. I had a few herbs that I would mix with the milk afterwards.
"You're right." he nodded after a while, "Sam…Sam loves me. He won't abandon me. He won't take…" then he frowned slightly. He glanced up at me suspiciously for a fleeting moment then looked away. He seemed to be caught up in a thought that he couldn't get out of his mind.
"Won't take what, Frodo?" I gave him a spoon, and held the jar so that he could keep the cold compress against his jaw while he tried some of the apples. He rested the spoon against the jar, fighting I thought…for control over his emotions.
"Never mind." he shook his head and tried dipping the spoon into the mix. He grimaced at the sound it made and then brought the spoon to his lips. He eyed it for a moment and sighed, nibbling just a little before taking the half-full spoon. He shivered and dropped the spoon. He was still very weak, and I had a feeling it was taking a lot of energy for him to feed himself.
"Would you like me to help you?" I asked after a while.
His pride had taken a great deal of hits during his time here, and I think that if this had not been the case, he would have done his best to eat by himself and would not have wanted to be quite so in need. He looked away from my eyes…embarrassed to ask. "Please…"
I nodded once, then took up the spoon.