All right, now you have to read my first fanfic (also a collab with my
friend Narchannen Fae).
None of this belongs to me, of course.enjoy!
The ten people in Elrond's office looked at him stunned. Rosie Cotton began to cry. Faramir looked stunned and upset. Everyone else looked ready to cheer.
"What happened?" Elrohir asked.
"Gollum got the ring somehow. We have it back now! So you get to go and get rid of it! Have fun!"
"Shouldn't we have a long council first?" asked Bilbo, who had had some experience with such things.
"Oh, do we have to? That's so. boring! Besides, you've already heard it all. Go ahead, I'm sure you'll be all right."
With some confusion the new fellowship set out for their quest. Elrohir and Elladan, before setting out with the others, managed to procure some of Elrond's finest wines for their personal use. Very quickly, the entire group was quite drunk, and thus it is no surprise at all that they set off.due west.
*************************************************************
The new fellowship, as they were starting to call themselves, were walking slowly along the Great East Road, vaguely wondering where all the alcohol had gone and why their heads hurt so much. It was about three weeks later and it was amazing that the alcohol had lasted that long, but now it was all gone. Elrohir stared soulfully down at the last, empty bottle. Glorfindel was singing loudly, the effects of his last drink apparently having not worn off yet.
"Hit me, Haldir, one more time!" Glorfindel warbled off-key, then lapsed into silence. The others pretended not to have heard.
"Isn't that," Radagast hiccupped, then tried again, "Isn't that Weathertop? I thought. I thought." he too lapsed into silence.
"Oh, shut up, you! You wizards think you're so smart! Well you're not! And another thing! Another." Dis started thickly, then trailed off as her eyes crossed in thought. "Another thing! You stupid wizards think you're so smart, and you're, you're not! Hah! What do you think of that?" Radagast did not appear to hear her.
"Love shack, Haldir, love shack!" Glorfindel began again, then stopped. The fellowship continued on, talking or singing at random intervals, along the road.
*************************************************************
"Welcome to Bree, everyone!" Radagast announced with a grandiose gesture, barely missing hitting someone else in the head. It was mid-afternoon some weeks later; the new fellowship had sobered up and got through their hangovers. Now they were in Bree, though no one seemed to realize yet that they were going the wrong way. In any case none would turn back before getting some famous Bree beer.
For that night they stopped at the Prancing Pony, trying to be inconspicuous just as the four hobbits of the real Fellowship did before them.
"So I say that Peter Jackson can just get over himself, right? That stupid slut Arwen got my lines, my part, my everything! I just wanted to be loved, you know what I'm saying? I just wanted to be in the movie, and Peter Jackson wouldn't even give me that!
"Ha! You think that's bad? No one even knows who I am! No one knows who Dis is! I'm just that old female dwarf that no one ever heard of before! I'm only mentioned because I happen to be someone's mother! No one cares about me!"
"Who." Elrohir started, "Are you?" Dis started crying into her nearly empty mug.
"At least you don't have a brother who's a big movie star now," Faramir said, still coherent despite the multiple empty mugs gathered in front of him. "It's not bad enough that my father always loved him best, and was going to make him Steward of Gondor when he died, but then he gets to go off on a quest to save the whole of Middle Earth! Does that sound fair?"
"Shut up, at least you get a part in the movie. Our brother gets to be king, and we have to stay at home," Elladan said. Elrohir nodded agreement.
"But now we have our own adventure, so be happy!" Radagast announced, swinging a nearly empty mug overhead, belching with professional skill and weaving back and forth.
"Aragorn and Arwen, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes.somebody son of Aragorn son of Arathorn in the baby carriage!" Elrohir crowed randomly.
Within a few hours the entire new fellowship was in bed in one of the rooms of the inn, snoring off the evening's alcohol.
In the room next door, two ringwraiths in airport security outfits were conducting a random search, since the boss ordered a security crackdown since the ringwraiths lost the four hobbits of the original fellowship. They had installed a metal detector inside the door of the Prancing Pony, but since there was no electricity in Middle-Earth it was not working and failed to pick up the assorted swords and other weapons people carried. The ringwraith manning it had taken a beer break, so no one stopped the new fellowship. At the moment they were running random searches throughout the inn, frisking things (without power to their friskers) and stabbing their swords through random beds. All the horses in Bree were impounded during the night and sold at auction later.
*************************************************************
The next morning the new fellowship woke up with horrible hangovers, which were quickly cured by the judicious application of alcohol. Somehow without being seen by the ringwraiths, despite being roaring drunk early in the morning, the new fellowship procured horses, a wagon, and several barrels of ale and set off along the road.
Sorry it ends so quick folks, but now you get to read more by Narchannen Fae! Take it away!
None of this belongs to me, of course.enjoy!
The ten people in Elrond's office looked at him stunned. Rosie Cotton began to cry. Faramir looked stunned and upset. Everyone else looked ready to cheer.
"What happened?" Elrohir asked.
"Gollum got the ring somehow. We have it back now! So you get to go and get rid of it! Have fun!"
"Shouldn't we have a long council first?" asked Bilbo, who had had some experience with such things.
"Oh, do we have to? That's so. boring! Besides, you've already heard it all. Go ahead, I'm sure you'll be all right."
With some confusion the new fellowship set out for their quest. Elrohir and Elladan, before setting out with the others, managed to procure some of Elrond's finest wines for their personal use. Very quickly, the entire group was quite drunk, and thus it is no surprise at all that they set off.due west.
*************************************************************
The new fellowship, as they were starting to call themselves, were walking slowly along the Great East Road, vaguely wondering where all the alcohol had gone and why their heads hurt so much. It was about three weeks later and it was amazing that the alcohol had lasted that long, but now it was all gone. Elrohir stared soulfully down at the last, empty bottle. Glorfindel was singing loudly, the effects of his last drink apparently having not worn off yet.
"Hit me, Haldir, one more time!" Glorfindel warbled off-key, then lapsed into silence. The others pretended not to have heard.
"Isn't that," Radagast hiccupped, then tried again, "Isn't that Weathertop? I thought. I thought." he too lapsed into silence.
"Oh, shut up, you! You wizards think you're so smart! Well you're not! And another thing! Another." Dis started thickly, then trailed off as her eyes crossed in thought. "Another thing! You stupid wizards think you're so smart, and you're, you're not! Hah! What do you think of that?" Radagast did not appear to hear her.
"Love shack, Haldir, love shack!" Glorfindel began again, then stopped. The fellowship continued on, talking or singing at random intervals, along the road.
*************************************************************
"Welcome to Bree, everyone!" Radagast announced with a grandiose gesture, barely missing hitting someone else in the head. It was mid-afternoon some weeks later; the new fellowship had sobered up and got through their hangovers. Now they were in Bree, though no one seemed to realize yet that they were going the wrong way. In any case none would turn back before getting some famous Bree beer.
For that night they stopped at the Prancing Pony, trying to be inconspicuous just as the four hobbits of the real Fellowship did before them.
"So I say that Peter Jackson can just get over himself, right? That stupid slut Arwen got my lines, my part, my everything! I just wanted to be loved, you know what I'm saying? I just wanted to be in the movie, and Peter Jackson wouldn't even give me that!
"Ha! You think that's bad? No one even knows who I am! No one knows who Dis is! I'm just that old female dwarf that no one ever heard of before! I'm only mentioned because I happen to be someone's mother! No one cares about me!"
"Who." Elrohir started, "Are you?" Dis started crying into her nearly empty mug.
"At least you don't have a brother who's a big movie star now," Faramir said, still coherent despite the multiple empty mugs gathered in front of him. "It's not bad enough that my father always loved him best, and was going to make him Steward of Gondor when he died, but then he gets to go off on a quest to save the whole of Middle Earth! Does that sound fair?"
"Shut up, at least you get a part in the movie. Our brother gets to be king, and we have to stay at home," Elladan said. Elrohir nodded agreement.
"But now we have our own adventure, so be happy!" Radagast announced, swinging a nearly empty mug overhead, belching with professional skill and weaving back and forth.
"Aragorn and Arwen, sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes.somebody son of Aragorn son of Arathorn in the baby carriage!" Elrohir crowed randomly.
Within a few hours the entire new fellowship was in bed in one of the rooms of the inn, snoring off the evening's alcohol.
In the room next door, two ringwraiths in airport security outfits were conducting a random search, since the boss ordered a security crackdown since the ringwraiths lost the four hobbits of the original fellowship. They had installed a metal detector inside the door of the Prancing Pony, but since there was no electricity in Middle-Earth it was not working and failed to pick up the assorted swords and other weapons people carried. The ringwraith manning it had taken a beer break, so no one stopped the new fellowship. At the moment they were running random searches throughout the inn, frisking things (without power to their friskers) and stabbing their swords through random beds. All the horses in Bree were impounded during the night and sold at auction later.
*************************************************************
The next morning the new fellowship woke up with horrible hangovers, which were quickly cured by the judicious application of alcohol. Somehow without being seen by the ringwraiths, despite being roaring drunk early in the morning, the new fellowship procured horses, a wagon, and several barrels of ale and set off along the road.
Sorry it ends so quick folks, but now you get to read more by Narchannen Fae! Take it away!