Author's Note : There will be several more chapters. Never Fear. Legolas will be featured shortly.
Frodo's POV
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CHAPTER 20 : Moving On
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He led me from the Tower and I could barely concentrate. Dear Sam…he'd never let me down and yet…it always seemed that *I* let him down. I'd accused him of thievery…my own best friend. My hand closed over the ring, it -was- heavy. Heavier still now that I was moving away from the Tower. There was something I was forgetting, I clutched Sam.
"We have to go back." I whimpered. I was feeling wretched, everything ached and Sam was practically carrying me.
"Now then, Mr. Frodo. We've got everythin' we're going to get and we have to go on. We've got to get to the Mountain." Sam urged me to continue, though I was stuck in my tracks, my eyes riveted back towards the tower, towards the room where I had writhed in pain…where she…
"Rose!" I cried out. "She's still there, Sam…" I moaned, collapsing against him. "We have to save Rose…We have to go back…"
Sam blinked at me in confusion, "Rosie?" he held me up as best he could but could tell that I was in bad shape. He needed to get me somewhere where he could tend what was left of me so we could get to the Mountain. "There now, Mr. Frodo." he supported me. He was shorter, but he was heftier than I was. Sam had so much strength in him. So much more stamina. He was practically carrying me now.
"She's there." I sobbed. "Please, Sam…we can't leave her."
"Don't reckon I know what you're on about, Mr. Frodo. Ain't nothing but Yrch there." he pressed me onward, not letting us stop further for he was sure of the enemy close behind us. "Rosie's safe home in the Shire now, don't you worry about a thing. I'll take care of everything, you just lean on me." He was most definitely confused, but he also knew that he needed to stitch my side before we could go on. He had to find a place where he could put me down. "Relax, there. You're safe now, Frodo. I've got you."
"But Sam…" My heart fell into my stomach and I couldn't think. Was Sam right? Had she been just another illusion? A dream? I looked back at the tower once again as I let Sam lead me away. She had been too real to be a dream…but…the ring was heavy. Our task was not yet complete. We couldn't risk going back into the Tower after a dream. Sam was quite right…as usual. I closed my eyes in pain. But it was not the Ring that dominated my vision this time. It was Merilas…and what they must be doing to her….if she was even real. I suppose I could have made her up…sometimes…when everything hurt too much I did tend to do that. "Meri…" I whimpered and collapsed. Sam after all…did have to carry me to safety. If we could ever really be safe in Mordor.
Sam had found a small cave and went to work tending to me. It was strange. It was dark…and yet…I didn't feel the darkness as I had in the tower. I lay with my head propped up on Sam's bedroll. He'd stripped down my chest and was working quickly applying salve to my wounds. His chin was set in determination as his thick fingers deftly worked together a piece of thread. Where Sam had got thread thick enough to perform stitches I had no idea. He was a resourceful one, that was certain. I looked at him and he smiled grimly at me. "Don't worry, Mr. Frodo. This is going to hurt, but I have to stitch this up or it will keep breaking open. I wish I had something for the pain…but you're going to have to be strong now."
Be strong…Well…I laughed brokenly…that's a pair of words that had been used before to me. Many times. My head swam with visions of the last fourty-eight odd hours. Only a couple of days of my life…but some of the worst I'd ever faced. I grimaced as he washed the wound thoroughly. Sam also had a needle. This -was- going to hurt. But it was nothing compared to what they…what they did to my body in the Tower. This was a walk in the park. Sweat began to build on my forehead as I anticipated him starting.
I hadn't really spoken much and Sam had never asked me what happened. Not yet anyway. He worked his fingers quickly through my flesh…stiching the two inch mark left by the jagged whip. I suppose if I hadn't have moved when it had connected it wouldn't have left such a terrible scar. I would remember it for the rest of my days. I would remember the Tower. I would remember…was she a dream? How could something of such light have existed for so long in the darkness. I had been imagining things…I must have been.
After what seemed like hours it was done and I had let out not one cry. I think it worried Sam because he looked at me with an unfathomable expression. He had no idea what had happened to me, but I think he was beginning to understand and I wished that he never had to think of such things. He dabbed a cool cloth on my forehead, wiping away the sweat. Then cleaned the blood from my side. He took a bandage…somehow he still had clean linen. I don't know how he did it. That was the worst of the scars, really…the one that had kept bleeding.
"You've lost a lot of blood, Mr. Frodo. But you're going to be okay."
Okay…I smiled at the irony of that word. I'd never be okay again. The tears were beginning to build, I could feel them.
Sam must have seen that look for he did something that I'd never expected him to do. He sighed and then he took me in his arms as he might a child. He patted my back gently, "There now, Mr. Frodo." he whispered in a gentle rumble. "You just let it out…Sam's here…I'll take care of everything."
And I began to cry. Not the tears of pain, nor sorrow…but for myself. What I had been through. Everything that I was now, everything that had happened. For him…for everyone who had died. For Gandalf…for Merilas. It was up to the two of us now. We had to make it. But there was something in the back of my head that was making me cry. There was a feeling that was burning deep in my heart.
I did not want to destroy the Ring.
It was mine.
My own.
My Precious.
Frodo's POV
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CHAPTER 20 : Moving On
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He led me from the Tower and I could barely concentrate. Dear Sam…he'd never let me down and yet…it always seemed that *I* let him down. I'd accused him of thievery…my own best friend. My hand closed over the ring, it -was- heavy. Heavier still now that I was moving away from the Tower. There was something I was forgetting, I clutched Sam.
"We have to go back." I whimpered. I was feeling wretched, everything ached and Sam was practically carrying me.
"Now then, Mr. Frodo. We've got everythin' we're going to get and we have to go on. We've got to get to the Mountain." Sam urged me to continue, though I was stuck in my tracks, my eyes riveted back towards the tower, towards the room where I had writhed in pain…where she…
"Rose!" I cried out. "She's still there, Sam…" I moaned, collapsing against him. "We have to save Rose…We have to go back…"
Sam blinked at me in confusion, "Rosie?" he held me up as best he could but could tell that I was in bad shape. He needed to get me somewhere where he could tend what was left of me so we could get to the Mountain. "There now, Mr. Frodo." he supported me. He was shorter, but he was heftier than I was. Sam had so much strength in him. So much more stamina. He was practically carrying me now.
"She's there." I sobbed. "Please, Sam…we can't leave her."
"Don't reckon I know what you're on about, Mr. Frodo. Ain't nothing but Yrch there." he pressed me onward, not letting us stop further for he was sure of the enemy close behind us. "Rosie's safe home in the Shire now, don't you worry about a thing. I'll take care of everything, you just lean on me." He was most definitely confused, but he also knew that he needed to stitch my side before we could go on. He had to find a place where he could put me down. "Relax, there. You're safe now, Frodo. I've got you."
"But Sam…" My heart fell into my stomach and I couldn't think. Was Sam right? Had she been just another illusion? A dream? I looked back at the tower once again as I let Sam lead me away. She had been too real to be a dream…but…the ring was heavy. Our task was not yet complete. We couldn't risk going back into the Tower after a dream. Sam was quite right…as usual. I closed my eyes in pain. But it was not the Ring that dominated my vision this time. It was Merilas…and what they must be doing to her….if she was even real. I suppose I could have made her up…sometimes…when everything hurt too much I did tend to do that. "Meri…" I whimpered and collapsed. Sam after all…did have to carry me to safety. If we could ever really be safe in Mordor.
Sam had found a small cave and went to work tending to me. It was strange. It was dark…and yet…I didn't feel the darkness as I had in the tower. I lay with my head propped up on Sam's bedroll. He'd stripped down my chest and was working quickly applying salve to my wounds. His chin was set in determination as his thick fingers deftly worked together a piece of thread. Where Sam had got thread thick enough to perform stitches I had no idea. He was a resourceful one, that was certain. I looked at him and he smiled grimly at me. "Don't worry, Mr. Frodo. This is going to hurt, but I have to stitch this up or it will keep breaking open. I wish I had something for the pain…but you're going to have to be strong now."
Be strong…Well…I laughed brokenly…that's a pair of words that had been used before to me. Many times. My head swam with visions of the last fourty-eight odd hours. Only a couple of days of my life…but some of the worst I'd ever faced. I grimaced as he washed the wound thoroughly. Sam also had a needle. This -was- going to hurt. But it was nothing compared to what they…what they did to my body in the Tower. This was a walk in the park. Sweat began to build on my forehead as I anticipated him starting.
I hadn't really spoken much and Sam had never asked me what happened. Not yet anyway. He worked his fingers quickly through my flesh…stiching the two inch mark left by the jagged whip. I suppose if I hadn't have moved when it had connected it wouldn't have left such a terrible scar. I would remember it for the rest of my days. I would remember the Tower. I would remember…was she a dream? How could something of such light have existed for so long in the darkness. I had been imagining things…I must have been.
After what seemed like hours it was done and I had let out not one cry. I think it worried Sam because he looked at me with an unfathomable expression. He had no idea what had happened to me, but I think he was beginning to understand and I wished that he never had to think of such things. He dabbed a cool cloth on my forehead, wiping away the sweat. Then cleaned the blood from my side. He took a bandage…somehow he still had clean linen. I don't know how he did it. That was the worst of the scars, really…the one that had kept bleeding.
"You've lost a lot of blood, Mr. Frodo. But you're going to be okay."
Okay…I smiled at the irony of that word. I'd never be okay again. The tears were beginning to build, I could feel them.
Sam must have seen that look for he did something that I'd never expected him to do. He sighed and then he took me in his arms as he might a child. He patted my back gently, "There now, Mr. Frodo." he whispered in a gentle rumble. "You just let it out…Sam's here…I'll take care of everything."
And I began to cry. Not the tears of pain, nor sorrow…but for myself. What I had been through. Everything that I was now, everything that had happened. For him…for everyone who had died. For Gandalf…for Merilas. It was up to the two of us now. We had to make it. But there was something in the back of my head that was making me cry. There was a feeling that was burning deep in my heart.
I did not want to destroy the Ring.
It was mine.
My own.
My Precious.