Author's Note : I love all the reviews that this story is getting.J Its very encouraging! Thank-you so much! Hmm…okay…well I suppose I could have more than six chapters, Lily.JJ
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 22 : Desperation
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Frodo lay in the bed while I tended him, not saying a great deal. I could tell that something was troubling him and he was thinking too much. He moved when I told him to, and drank what I prepared. His throat was raw and sore, but there was more to it than he was letting on. Finally once I had him snug in bed and tucked up the covers I looked at him seriously and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Now then, Frodo." I said softly, like a father might his son. For that's what he often seemed to me. I had tended him so often in the wild, and on the quest. This time though…it was something more than a sore throat and a fever. He was troubled…and something was hurting him. "Why don't you tell me what's going through that brain of yours."
".Estel….Strider.." he coughed faintly. "No one…well.." he shook his head. "I just have had some very bad dreams recently." he rubbed his wounded hand. "I…" he looked at me and looked away. "Sam said I was hallucinating…that…" he tried to balance himself against the pillows and then sunk back down a little, feeling dizzy I suspected.
I reached over and put my hand against his forehead, he was becoming far too warm for my liking…the medicine would soon work though. "Hallucinating about what, Frodo?"
"I think…" Frodo opened his eyes again, they were shimmering…as though he wanted to cry but had something to get out first. "I think he just didn't want me to talk about it. To tell him. He…didn't want to know, Strider…what happened."
"What happened where?"
"In the Tower…" Frodo's eyes bore into me, I think almost…he was testing me. Testing my reaction. Everytime I thought about what might have happened to him there my blood boiled and I wanted to kill something. I kept myself calm though, he didn't need anger…he needed understanding. I think…he also needed to talk about it. I thought about what Arwen had said to me tonight after I left her resting in our bed.
"Take care of him, Estel. You must remember what it was like to not have what you needed when you were a child. He looks up to you. He needs your strength now…more than ever. I need you too…but he must be first in our hearts right now. Trust me, Melleth."
And I trusted her with all my heart and love, I smiled at Frodo grimly, but with as much encouragement as I could. He was looking at me as if he half expected me to turn away…or disregard him. My hand moved down to close over both of his in comfort. "Tell me, Frodo. Tell me what's troubling you."
Surprise was evident in his eyes as he opened them a bit wider with astonishment. I was fairly sure he had not been able to talk about this to anyone yet. He glanced towards the door that Legolas had went through only a half an hour before. "I…" he closed his eyes and then opened them again. "You know…mostly…what must have happened…but I have to tell you something…maybe…maybe you'll believe me. I don't know…I hardly believe myself…" he coughed then and I made him drink some more of the mixture that I had prepared. Once he was steady, he let my hands clasp his as he continued.
"Strider…it was awful…I felt…so alone. Have you ever imagined what it would be like to constantly feel when you did not want to? Every touch…every…" he swallowed…"Every snap…made me wish I was dead…I almost gave up…the second time…they…they hurt me, Strider. They pushed me until I was near passing out from pain…it was terrible." he shivered, trying to block the memory out, I supposed. I do not know what the look was like on my face when I listened…horrorified….I was sure…"They…did things, Strider I don't want to describe them. I can't…" he shuddered. "Again…and again…until I thought I could bear no more. Then…they left me in that room where Sam found me. But…" he motioned for the drink and I brought it to him. He took a few sips and then relaxed just a bit. I think my presence was comforting to him. "I…someone was there Strider…" he fumbled for an explanation. I knitted my brows together.
"She…Please don't think I'm crazy…Sam said I was imagining it…maybe he's right. But…..Legolas…recognized her name…and now…Now I have to deal with it. I can't let it go." Frodo looked at me seriously and I knew he was not lying, or making things up to get attention. He wanted me to understand…to tell him everything was going to be alright and I wasn't sure I could just then.
"Go on….Frodo." I told him softly, still holding his hands within mine, it was the best comfort I could give at the moment, and one of the main things he needed.
He took a deep breathe. "She…was an elf…she had been…a prisoner for a long time." he strived for explanation. "She…they had destroyed her, Strider….but…she found herself within me…she…tried to help me, and I think…I think they killed her, Strider. I don't know…Her name was Merilas…She was from Mirkwood. If it hadn't been for her…I may not have survived until Sam found me."
Legolas was standing in the doorway staring at us, I whipped my head around at him but Frodo had known he was there and steadied me from leaping up. The Prince stood as though frozen, his eyes fixed on Frodo. Gimli was at his side, a grim expression on the dwarf.
"Frodo." Legolas said softly, his voice was a whisper. "Did this Elvin lady you speak of." his eyes were such that I had never seen before. Intense…desperate…longing. He was showing feeling…and that was something that I had never seen Legolas do. This was not just feeling though…but a deeply buried emotion that he must have been holding for years. "Did she…have a birthmark…on her hand…"
Frodo nodded, he looked directly at Legolas, "A Rose." he shivered a little and I pulled the blankets up around him again, frowning at the elf and the dwarf for coming back into the room when I had forbidden them entry.
"Elbereth." Legolas collapsed into a nearby chair. He ran his fingers through his hair and Gimli stood by him.
"Frodo." Gimli's voice was gruff. "This Elleth you speak of." his arms folded across his chest as he looked to his friend. "Was to be Legolas' bride. He's been searching for her for many years. You must tell us everything you can so that we might be able to locate her."
My mouth dropped open as I stared at the elf. This was something I'd never heard of. Nor had I expected. I'd often wondered where Legolas' hatred for orcs came from. It was not just because they were Orcs…it had run deeper than I could have possibly imagined.
It was at that moment of stunned silence that Arwen walked in, light flowing from her features as she always did. Frodo was shivering still in the bed, reminded of his encounter in the Tower close at hand as he was trying hard to. She stared at all of us reproachfully as she took the small hobbit into her arms. I would have been jealous, had it been any other male I suppose, but Frodo…he had begun to cry. "I…I think they killed her…" he whimpered fretfully. "Please…find her…" Arwen held the Ring bearer , rocking him gently.
"Go now…all of you.. Have you no shame? Let him answer when he is able. Not when he is ill."
And none of us would refuse the words of the Queen, me least of all.
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---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 22 : Desperation
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Frodo lay in the bed while I tended him, not saying a great deal. I could tell that something was troubling him and he was thinking too much. He moved when I told him to, and drank what I prepared. His throat was raw and sore, but there was more to it than he was letting on. Finally once I had him snug in bed and tucked up the covers I looked at him seriously and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Now then, Frodo." I said softly, like a father might his son. For that's what he often seemed to me. I had tended him so often in the wild, and on the quest. This time though…it was something more than a sore throat and a fever. He was troubled…and something was hurting him. "Why don't you tell me what's going through that brain of yours."
".Estel….Strider.." he coughed faintly. "No one…well.." he shook his head. "I just have had some very bad dreams recently." he rubbed his wounded hand. "I…" he looked at me and looked away. "Sam said I was hallucinating…that…" he tried to balance himself against the pillows and then sunk back down a little, feeling dizzy I suspected.
I reached over and put my hand against his forehead, he was becoming far too warm for my liking…the medicine would soon work though. "Hallucinating about what, Frodo?"
"I think…" Frodo opened his eyes again, they were shimmering…as though he wanted to cry but had something to get out first. "I think he just didn't want me to talk about it. To tell him. He…didn't want to know, Strider…what happened."
"What happened where?"
"In the Tower…" Frodo's eyes bore into me, I think almost…he was testing me. Testing my reaction. Everytime I thought about what might have happened to him there my blood boiled and I wanted to kill something. I kept myself calm though, he didn't need anger…he needed understanding. I think…he also needed to talk about it. I thought about what Arwen had said to me tonight after I left her resting in our bed.
"Take care of him, Estel. You must remember what it was like to not have what you needed when you were a child. He looks up to you. He needs your strength now…more than ever. I need you too…but he must be first in our hearts right now. Trust me, Melleth."
And I trusted her with all my heart and love, I smiled at Frodo grimly, but with as much encouragement as I could. He was looking at me as if he half expected me to turn away…or disregard him. My hand moved down to close over both of his in comfort. "Tell me, Frodo. Tell me what's troubling you."
Surprise was evident in his eyes as he opened them a bit wider with astonishment. I was fairly sure he had not been able to talk about this to anyone yet. He glanced towards the door that Legolas had went through only a half an hour before. "I…" he closed his eyes and then opened them again. "You know…mostly…what must have happened…but I have to tell you something…maybe…maybe you'll believe me. I don't know…I hardly believe myself…" he coughed then and I made him drink some more of the mixture that I had prepared. Once he was steady, he let my hands clasp his as he continued.
"Strider…it was awful…I felt…so alone. Have you ever imagined what it would be like to constantly feel when you did not want to? Every touch…every…" he swallowed…"Every snap…made me wish I was dead…I almost gave up…the second time…they…they hurt me, Strider. They pushed me until I was near passing out from pain…it was terrible." he shivered, trying to block the memory out, I supposed. I do not know what the look was like on my face when I listened…horrorified….I was sure…"They…did things, Strider I don't want to describe them. I can't…" he shuddered. "Again…and again…until I thought I could bear no more. Then…they left me in that room where Sam found me. But…" he motioned for the drink and I brought it to him. He took a few sips and then relaxed just a bit. I think my presence was comforting to him. "I…someone was there Strider…" he fumbled for an explanation. I knitted my brows together.
"She…Please don't think I'm crazy…Sam said I was imagining it…maybe he's right. But…..Legolas…recognized her name…and now…Now I have to deal with it. I can't let it go." Frodo looked at me seriously and I knew he was not lying, or making things up to get attention. He wanted me to understand…to tell him everything was going to be alright and I wasn't sure I could just then.
"Go on….Frodo." I told him softly, still holding his hands within mine, it was the best comfort I could give at the moment, and one of the main things he needed.
He took a deep breathe. "She…was an elf…she had been…a prisoner for a long time." he strived for explanation. "She…they had destroyed her, Strider….but…she found herself within me…she…tried to help me, and I think…I think they killed her, Strider. I don't know…Her name was Merilas…She was from Mirkwood. If it hadn't been for her…I may not have survived until Sam found me."
Legolas was standing in the doorway staring at us, I whipped my head around at him but Frodo had known he was there and steadied me from leaping up. The Prince stood as though frozen, his eyes fixed on Frodo. Gimli was at his side, a grim expression on the dwarf.
"Frodo." Legolas said softly, his voice was a whisper. "Did this Elvin lady you speak of." his eyes were such that I had never seen before. Intense…desperate…longing. He was showing feeling…and that was something that I had never seen Legolas do. This was not just feeling though…but a deeply buried emotion that he must have been holding for years. "Did she…have a birthmark…on her hand…"
Frodo nodded, he looked directly at Legolas, "A Rose." he shivered a little and I pulled the blankets up around him again, frowning at the elf and the dwarf for coming back into the room when I had forbidden them entry.
"Elbereth." Legolas collapsed into a nearby chair. He ran his fingers through his hair and Gimli stood by him.
"Frodo." Gimli's voice was gruff. "This Elleth you speak of." his arms folded across his chest as he looked to his friend. "Was to be Legolas' bride. He's been searching for her for many years. You must tell us everything you can so that we might be able to locate her."
My mouth dropped open as I stared at the elf. This was something I'd never heard of. Nor had I expected. I'd often wondered where Legolas' hatred for orcs came from. It was not just because they were Orcs…it had run deeper than I could have possibly imagined.
It was at that moment of stunned silence that Arwen walked in, light flowing from her features as she always did. Frodo was shivering still in the bed, reminded of his encounter in the Tower close at hand as he was trying hard to. She stared at all of us reproachfully as she took the small hobbit into her arms. I would have been jealous, had it been any other male I suppose, but Frodo…he had begun to cry. "I…I think they killed her…" he whimpered fretfully. "Please…find her…" Arwen held the Ring bearer , rocking him gently.
"Go now…all of you.. Have you no shame? Let him answer when he is able. Not when he is ill."
And none of us would refuse the words of the Queen, me least of all.
* * *