He was worn out, they all were, exhausted physically and emotionally after another mission, another night of blood and killing… The others would be asleep now, Aya and Youji both having gone straight to bed, Omi having first typed up a report of the mission… Ken wasn't entirely sure why, really, but he tended to come here, to the shop, after missions, to check the flowers, tidy up a bit, just to have something to do…to contemplate what he had done, what they had done tonight, what they would do again… They did something that had to be done, he told himself, something that, in the long run, saved more lives than they took… The people they killed deserved to die, and that was the truth…but it didn't mean it wasn't disturbing, or that they all didn't have to fight themselves too, sometimes, to justify the other sides of themselves, not to hate the sides that the adoring girls who came to see them after school would never know even existed…
Ken sighed, and switched off the light. He'd done enough soul-searching for one night, and didn't think he could stay awake long enough even if he'd wanted to do a bit more. He would have gone straight to his room but as he passed the stairs, he noticed the light was still on down there, and, figuring Omi must have forgotten to switch it off on his way up, went down, yawning, to do it himself. As he flicked the switch, he heard a tiny sigh and realised someone else was down here too.
"Omi?" he called quietly, turning the light back on. "Still here?"
No answer, but as Ken looked around the room he saw the top of a blond head over the back of the sofa. His heart melted as he went around to see Omi sleeping, head leant on one hand, blond hair falling over his closed eyes. He must have sat down after dutifully finishing his report, probably just meaning to rest a moment… Ken could just imagine those blue eyes closing, tired, and empty after the night's work…Omi despised killing, more than any of the others - it was ironic in a horribly twisted way that that was why he did it. Why they all did it - and he was too young for what they did. Ken himself was hardly any older, of course…but Omi just seemed so innocent… So innocent that Ken often felt guilty for the way he felt about him. They were the closest of friends, and always had been, and Ken had tried so hard to ignore the fact that he wanted…he wanted… He just couldn't help it, he wanted Omi! And he loved him, and he would always love him…
He sat down beside the boy and laid his head gently on his shoulder.
He didn't mind, as long as he could be with him, be his friend, look out for him. He didn't mind just being friends, he loved being friends with Omi…he was very smart, and kind, and Ken just wished he could make Omi laugh as much as Omi made him!
He slipped his weary arms carefully around Omi's waist and hugged him as lightly as he could.
"..Ken?…" he heard Omi whisper, but his breathing hadn't changed, he didn't seem to have woken up… Even if he had, Ken was too tired, too close to sleep, to move now…
He hadn't even realised his eyes were closed, but they flickered open for a second before closing once more. He could stay here…could he stay here forever?
"Omi…" he breathed, his thoughts tumbling out of his mouth the way they tend to do when one is half asleep. "You're so small, and cute, and beautiful… I would like it if I could kiss you one day…maybe one day I will…maybe one day we'll be in love…then…we could cuddle up like this any time…then…it wouldn't have to be a secret…secret that I…love…"
He held Omi tighter as his dreams took him. Omi's hand crept up to hold onto Ken's, and both slept on.
"Uh…uh…Y-Youji!!"
"What?"
"Uhm…I think you better come down here…"
It was way too early for him to normally do this much moving, but Aya sounded really spooked, so Youji hurried downstairs, slightly concerned - Aya wasn't afraid of anything!
"What is it?" He looked around the room but couldn't see anything - except Aya looking wide-eyed and rather pale.
The red haired boy pointed wordlessly at the sofa.
"Yes, the couch is kinda worrying, you're right," he said, but Aya didn't seem to realise he was joking and shook his head.
"For god's sake Aya, what's wrong?!"
He went around the sofa and grinned as he saw Ken and Omi curled up together, both smiling in their sleep. Omi's arms were wrapped around Ken, and Ken had one arm round the smaller boy's waist, the other on his thigh, fingers just creeping up beneath the hem of his shorts - Youji's grin became a quick smirk when he saw that.
"Cute aren't they?" he commented in a lowered voice.
Aya stared.
"But they're…they're…" he stammered quietly.
"Meant for each other? Come on Aya, even you, Mr Insensitive, can't possibly have failed to notice that they're totally devoted to each other! They always have been!"
"But…but…they're so…Omi's just a child! Ken's hardly any older!!"
"Come on Aya!" Youji said sternly, suddenly serious. "You know better than that. As far as Omi's concerned, he's never been a child! Both of them have seen and done things no-one should have to see or do - and that's the point, someone DOES have to, and the responsibility is on us! It's on them, Aya! Neither of them will ever be young." He sighed, and looked over at the sleeping pair on the sofa to make sure he hadn't woken them up. He and Aya were being quiet enough, though, for them to sleep on. "They don't exactly lead normal lives. Don't go by their ages, that means nothing, nothing to any of us. Most people could live a hundred years and not even know that the world we spend our nights in exists. Most people do. Ken and Omi need each other. All they have is each other. Each other and us." He grinned, more like his normal self. "Besides, Ken's only just more then a year older than Omi! And only a year younger than you!"
Aya was staring at him.
"You're right, of course you're right," he murmured. "Of course you're right. And I AM insensitive."
"Oh, I didn't mean it Aya. I know you freaked out over this more out of concern than freaked-outness! You worry about them, I know you do, and if that's not sensitivity… I even think you might care about me sometimes, but then I think, nah, what am I thinking?" He winked at Aya, who looked shocked.
"I…I do…I care about…about all of you!"
Youji smiled happily, and winked again.
"My point exactly!"
"…so…what do we do?"
"Do?"
Aya waved a hand in the vague direction of Omi and Ken's comfortable embrace.
"About them."
Youji stretched lazily.
"We leave 'em. Then, they'll wake up eventually, blush and mutter a bit I would imagine, then realise they're in love.."
He began to leave the room, beckoning Aya to come with him, then he paused, grinning worryingly.
"Of course, a little help waking up would just…move proceedings along.." he mused, ushering Aya, who seemed positively relieved to leave, up the stairs and following him - slamming the door at the top of the stairs as loudly as he could, causing Aya to glare, after jumping about a metre in shock! Youji smiled sweetly at him and did it again, and again, and twice more for good measure.
"They're awake now," he stated, nodding approvingly, and walked off looking pleased with himself.
Ken blinked sleepily, not quite sure what exactly it was that had just woken him so suddenly. He froze in shock as he realised exactly where he was - or rather, who he was with! Omi was curled up against his side, arms around him… And he was wrapped around Omi, touching him…
How had he got into this situation?! WHAT had he been thinking, he asked himself accusingly. This was SO bad - Omi was going to wake up any second, he was starting to stir, sighing adorably, already… And if Ken tried to move, he'd just wake him up even sooner… HOW was he to explain to Omi that he'd just thought it would be OK to take advantage, to hold him and touch him while he slept..
He couldn't help feeling that this was right, though, that this was where he ought to be anyway, where he belonged, curled up with his beautiful Omi…
But of course he'd think that, he berated himself, he was in love with the boy after all! He sighed, relaxing against Omi again, and forgetting his worries as he realised how perfect this felt… This…he couldn't have this! He couldn't be with Omi, he could never have the utter, complete, contented happiness he was having just a tiny taste of now… Never…
Ken's eyes stung, and before he knew it tears were leaking from his dark eyes. He found himself holding Omi more securely against him, sobbing quietly into his honey-coloured hair.. He loved him so much…and in a moment Omi would know…and he could never love him back…and he didn't deserve the beautiful boy anyway! He was so miserable, and so happy at the same time, so confused and overwhelmed…
"Omi…" he sobbed pathetically. "I need you…" He bit his lip and tried in vain to stop the painful tears.
"Ken…"
This was it, time up, Omi was awake now… Ken held onto him, desperate for his last seconds in the boy's embrace. Looking down at Omi's face he saw those pretty blue eyes gazing up at him, half closed in a way that showed he was still half asleep.
"Ken…"
Ken gasped as Omi nuzzled at his neck.
"I love you Ken," he muttered tiredly, blinking as he looked back at Ken's amazed, tear-stained face. "Ken, what's wrong, why…" Omi blinked a few more times and looked around, shock showing on his face now he was awake at where he found himself. Ken bit his lip.
"Why are you crying?" Omi ventured finally, not pulling away as Ken expected him to.
"I…I…Omi, did you mean what you just said?" he asked quickly.
"What? What I said?"
Ken nodded, his soft eyes wide.
"You said…said you…I mean, you don't, of course not, you were half asleep, I'll just…" He made to get up when Omi started suddenly.
"I said…oh goodness, I know what I said!" he exclaimed in horror, disentangling himself from Ken and backing away as far as he could. "I said I loved…oh no! Ken, I'm so sorry, I…how did we get here? I'm sorry Ken!"
"No, Omi, it's alright…" Ken said in a bemused kind of way, leaning towards him slightly. He backed away again in panic and found himself on the floor. Ken leaned over the armrest of the sofa.
"Oh my god, are you OK Omi?" he asked worriedly. Omi nodded, but found he couldn't answer - he thought he might cry if he tried to talk. Now Ken knew, he had SAID it, he had sworn he'd never tell… He felt himself blush and stumbled to his feet, not able to resist looking down at Ken, so adorable, looking up at him from the sofa before he left..
"I do love you!" he said suddenly, and gasped, and felt himself blush even more. What was he doing? He hadn't meant to say that! But when he was with Ken, he wanted to tell him, wanted him to know, even if he didn't feel the same… He remembered how he had felt waking up in Ken's arms; he had been half asleep and believed, just for a second, that this was how it really was, that he would always wake up like that…
His thoughts were forgotten as he felt Ken grab his hand.
"Omi…"
Ken was finding words difficult - he couldn't quite believe this was happening. Omi had just said it again...he loved him...could it be true? He was so overwhelmed with conflicting feelings all over again, so happy that there was no way he could express it, so emotional he felt like weeping forever…so in love with Omi…
"Omi…Omi, tell me…tell me you mean it!" He stood up, still holding onto Omi's hand. "Omi I've loved you for so long…and I thought you'd never feel the same and I was so afraid and now I can't believe this is happening and I don't even know if it is or if I'm just dreaming but I don't care any more anyway, I want you to know I'll love you forever and I'll never, ever make you sad…"
He reached out a shaking hand to touch Omi's face.
"I don't know what to do…" he whispered, knowing he was making no sense, not caring..
Omi was smiling dazedly up at him, the best smile he had ever seen.
"I…I don't know what to do either but…but I do mean it…"
"Oh!" Ken wrapped his arms around Omi and hugged him tightly. He couldn't explain how he was feeling, there were not words for it, as Omi's arms slipped around his waist and they just held each other.
"I dreamed I could say I loved you…"
"I love you.."
"I didn't think I ever could…I love you…"
"I can't believe I'm not going to wake up from this, Ken! Is it even real?"
"It must be, it has to be, I won't let you go, I won't!"
Ken pulled back and gazed into Omi's blue eyes.
"I won't.." he whispered again, and leaned closer. Both knew what was going to happen next..
"Ken…I'm nervous!" Omi admitted, blushing.
Ken's heart was racing too.
"Is it…a good kind of nervous?" he asked shyly.
"Yes.." Omi breathed, so close that Ken could feel it.
"Then I…I have it too.. Do you want…can I…"
"Yes!"
They only had to lean in a little and their lips met. Both were trembling and shy and their first kiss didn't last long.
"Ken…my god, I…I…"
"Omi you can change your mind," Ken said anxiously. "Honestly, if I've gone too far, if you felt…"
Omi cut him off with another quick kiss, giggling light-headedly at Ken's surprised wide eyes.
"Ken, you could never go too far… I want everything you want, believe me.." He blushed. "I just…I never thought this could ever happen! To me, I mean…" He closed his big eyes. "Are you sure? I'm…I'm just me…I'll never be anything else, it's just me…"
"It's just perfect, you're just perfect, Omi, I love you, just like you…"
It was a conscious decision by neither of them, but both were more than pleased to find themselves kissing again, deeper this time, less shy…more wandering hands…
"Oh! Ken.."
"Omi…?"
"Yes, yes, yes it's alright…" Feverish kisses broke off everything they tried to say. "But I've…never…never…and…I don't…it's too soon to…before we do…can we…not? Keep going, oh god don't stop!! Just…I don't want to…go…all the way…"
"Yeah, no, we won't…" Ken undid the top button on Omi's shirt and kissed as his neck. "But..I can…can I…I'll make you feel good, without…without that…if you want…"
Omi nodded frantically.
"You do make me feel good!" he gasped out, thoughts fading slowly. "You…I want…to make…good…!"
"I love you so much Omi.."
"I love you.."
Omi held on to Ken's hand and didn't let go.
Youji knew before he got down the stairs that he'd been right… He'd just wanted to check that things were going according to plan, but Omi's senseless, breathless murmurs were testimony to the fact that no more checking was required! My work here is done, he thought evilly, closing the door on the two downstairs. But seriously, it was great… At least SOMEONE had love, right? His eyes were sad as his thoughts turned to Aya. But still… He smirked. He was working on that…
"Did you go down there to…check on them?" Aya asked, his voice a mix of accusation and disdain.
"Yep!" Youji said, cheerfully. "And everything is going EXACTLY like I knew it would!" He smirked in a way that gave Aya cause to glare and look slightly panicked.
"Relax, Aya! They're just kissing!!" Youji lied.