Author's note : Okay…for this chapter…you have to put the theme song for the Titanic on while reading it! Okay…so this chapter is sad. I promise though that this isn't the last chapter with Merilas in it! Nor is it the last chapter with Legolas.
Next up. Frodo has a visitor. Aragorn tries to find the Prince.
Merilas POV
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Chapter 26 : Freedom
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It was raining…and dark clouds billowed in the sky above.
I looked out over the sea of faces that I knew only in passing, but I knew all that they had been through because I was standing under the canopy a bowl of hot soup cupped in my hands. We had been waiting for the Gondorians to sort through us and to figure out what they were going to do with us. I had been listening…and there was something about helping people get back to their lands.
My lands.
I laughed to myself. I had no lands. They had nearly killed me…but one had realized I was not fully an Orc…though I had almost wished he -had- killed me. After lunch they separated us into groups. They were taking us into the city in small groups so that they could orient us and then send us on our way. They had spent several weeks helping many of the prisoners emotionally and physically. I had…assisted in that.
I was the only elf…but I had not listed my race as elf. I had put down 'half-Orc'. There were many of those…and yes…by my appearance. I had given my story as born into slavery. I did not want these men to know I was an elf. I did not want them to summon the Elven Lords I knew were in the city. I really had no land to go home to…nothing. I had given my name as Rose.
There was one more thing in this world that I planned to do…and then I would wander the lands of Middle Earth forever….apart from the elves. Try and find an absolution…I had no place in their society anymore…and I had many things to forget. I felt the small item in my pocket. It had belonged to Frodo, and I meant to give it back to him. I had managed to stop them from taking it…to hide it. I knew he was still in the White City for I had been listening to the news. I planned on finding my way to him in secret. I had learned in all my years in the Tower how to move quietly. That was why the chains had been put on my feet. No one would discover me if I did not want them to, and no magic was used.
My group was the first to go, and it still rained. I was in the middle of a sea of about 50 ex slaves and prisoners when I felt a presence that I had not felt in long time. I heard raised voices as we moved forward. It was difficult to discern what was being said over the rain but they both sounded angry. I turned around…still being shuffled forward by the group. Pushed out of the camp. That's when…I saw him.
He stood by the warden, rain plastering his hair to his face as he talked with him. There was a dwarf at his side. I stared…letting the people move me farther and farther away. I struggled only for a few moments, trying to make the moment last. I almost forgot everything…forgot what had happened to me…forgot the last fifteen years. He was there. I wanted…I wanted to go to him, but something steeled my heart. I couldn't let him see what had become of me.
I wanted to run to him…to fling myself in his arms. But I didn't even know if he had loved me at all. For all I know he was looking for someone else. After all…he'd never found me. Maybe he'd never even looked. Maybe he hadn't cared after all. I was no longer an elf. I had cast aside that part of me…all that I could….I almost reached out to him.
Legolas.
He turned and looked in the direction of the leaving prisoners and I looked away, pulling my hood down. I let myself be led away…following the group. I glanced back only once and he was watching us, but he did not see me. How could he? I was one of many…and he would never recognize me anyway if he saw me.
I would never forget the look in his eyes. They must have just told him there were no elven prisoners. In the rain and cold we were led to the White City where warmth and the protection of Gondor awaited us.
I didn't want the warmth and protection of Gondor.
Once we were in the city, I parted from the group, and that would be the last time anyone would ever lead me where I did not want to go. I was in control of my own destiny now. Nothing could ever get in my way…or bring me down again. Somewhere away from the elves I would find a life. I would not think about it ever again after I paid a visit to Frodo…for that would bring me pain and I would remember every moment.
It was a beautiful sky, dark and coudy, but it was a beautiful sky. I stood there drenched from head to toe. I was free. But somehow…I did not want to be free. I wanted to be home. I wanted…
I no longer had that luxury…not after what I had been through. Not after the things that I had done. I would have to live with that. There was no use wishing for what could not be or would never happen. I had to work with what I had, and set aside my dreams. Maybe one day…all would be well again. Maybe one day…I could go home.
But not for a very long time. Not while the pain was too great to bear. Not while blood was still fresh on my hands and what I had done still clear in my mind.
I would get into the castle…and give Frodo what belonged to him, then I would leave.
* * *
Next up. Frodo has a visitor. Aragorn tries to find the Prince.
Merilas POV
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 26 : Freedom
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was raining…and dark clouds billowed in the sky above.
I looked out over the sea of faces that I knew only in passing, but I knew all that they had been through because I was standing under the canopy a bowl of hot soup cupped in my hands. We had been waiting for the Gondorians to sort through us and to figure out what they were going to do with us. I had been listening…and there was something about helping people get back to their lands.
My lands.
I laughed to myself. I had no lands. They had nearly killed me…but one had realized I was not fully an Orc…though I had almost wished he -had- killed me. After lunch they separated us into groups. They were taking us into the city in small groups so that they could orient us and then send us on our way. They had spent several weeks helping many of the prisoners emotionally and physically. I had…assisted in that.
I was the only elf…but I had not listed my race as elf. I had put down 'half-Orc'. There were many of those…and yes…by my appearance. I had given my story as born into slavery. I did not want these men to know I was an elf. I did not want them to summon the Elven Lords I knew were in the city. I really had no land to go home to…nothing. I had given my name as Rose.
There was one more thing in this world that I planned to do…and then I would wander the lands of Middle Earth forever….apart from the elves. Try and find an absolution…I had no place in their society anymore…and I had many things to forget. I felt the small item in my pocket. It had belonged to Frodo, and I meant to give it back to him. I had managed to stop them from taking it…to hide it. I knew he was still in the White City for I had been listening to the news. I planned on finding my way to him in secret. I had learned in all my years in the Tower how to move quietly. That was why the chains had been put on my feet. No one would discover me if I did not want them to, and no magic was used.
My group was the first to go, and it still rained. I was in the middle of a sea of about 50 ex slaves and prisoners when I felt a presence that I had not felt in long time. I heard raised voices as we moved forward. It was difficult to discern what was being said over the rain but they both sounded angry. I turned around…still being shuffled forward by the group. Pushed out of the camp. That's when…I saw him.
He stood by the warden, rain plastering his hair to his face as he talked with him. There was a dwarf at his side. I stared…letting the people move me farther and farther away. I struggled only for a few moments, trying to make the moment last. I almost forgot everything…forgot what had happened to me…forgot the last fifteen years. He was there. I wanted…I wanted to go to him, but something steeled my heart. I couldn't let him see what had become of me.
I wanted to run to him…to fling myself in his arms. But I didn't even know if he had loved me at all. For all I know he was looking for someone else. After all…he'd never found me. Maybe he'd never even looked. Maybe he hadn't cared after all. I was no longer an elf. I had cast aside that part of me…all that I could….I almost reached out to him.
Legolas.
He turned and looked in the direction of the leaving prisoners and I looked away, pulling my hood down. I let myself be led away…following the group. I glanced back only once and he was watching us, but he did not see me. How could he? I was one of many…and he would never recognize me anyway if he saw me.
I would never forget the look in his eyes. They must have just told him there were no elven prisoners. In the rain and cold we were led to the White City where warmth and the protection of Gondor awaited us.
I didn't want the warmth and protection of Gondor.
Once we were in the city, I parted from the group, and that would be the last time anyone would ever lead me where I did not want to go. I was in control of my own destiny now. Nothing could ever get in my way…or bring me down again. Somewhere away from the elves I would find a life. I would not think about it ever again after I paid a visit to Frodo…for that would bring me pain and I would remember every moment.
It was a beautiful sky, dark and coudy, but it was a beautiful sky. I stood there drenched from head to toe. I was free. But somehow…I did not want to be free. I wanted to be home. I wanted…
I no longer had that luxury…not after what I had been through. Not after the things that I had done. I would have to live with that. There was no use wishing for what could not be or would never happen. I had to work with what I had, and set aside my dreams. Maybe one day…all would be well again. Maybe one day…I could go home.
But not for a very long time. Not while the pain was too great to bear. Not while blood was still fresh on my hands and what I had done still clear in my mind.
I would get into the castle…and give Frodo what belonged to him, then I would leave.
* * *