FRODO'S POV
Warning : Tissue needed.J
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CHAPTER 30 : Comfortably Numb
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There is nothing like feeling you are close to death and having your body go numb. I couldn't feel anything, really…and yet every movement was painful. I was thinking about the Tower again, though I was vaguely aware that I wasn't there anymore. I could not get it out of my mind. Everytime it was cold…or I felt pain…I remembered, and I could not forget. Because I could not forget…it made it worse.
My mind churned back to the events surrounding my capture…I remembered…a feeling of drowning…but I was not in water…they were pouring something…over my head…water I think…but it was not clear and cool….at least I don't remember it that way…and there had been something under my chin…I coughed and then began to choke, sputtering and coughing…struggling with the hands that were holding me down. I had to breathe. My wrists were bound and I couldn't move…I felt the rope burning into my skin as I tried to cry out…but if I opened my mouth water would rush in… I vaguely heard someone's voice trying to soothe me…but the memory had leapt up in my mind and was clinging to it. …I was freezing…."You must drink something." I heard a male voice...Aragorn?
"Frodo…" I heard someone speaking…Arwen…I thought…maybe…Someone was holding me…I felt their arms around me…and I relaxed just a little. I could …no…"You must drink something…" I shook my head furiously and buried myself against the one who was holding me…rocking me. I felt cold…but I also felt hot at the same time. My body was shivering…and there was so much pain…that I was becoming almost numb.
I didn't open my eyes yet…I felt something soft rubbing against my skin. A towel of some sort? A little bit later I felt fingers rubbing a cream into my chest…and there were vapors that rose from the cream. Merilas was singing…I could hear her sweet voice…were those her arms around me? Then I must still be in the tower…But I also heard Arwen and Aragorn…was I dreaming? I was beginning to be able to breathe again…a little…though it hurt with every breath I took. Why didn't they just leave me to die...I'd wanted that for so long...but they kept pushing me...kept looking for strength. I was tired of being strong. Just...tired...
"He is not drinking anything...he will dehydrate if he does not take anything down soon." Arwen's voice was clear and musical through the misty darkness.
"He -must- drink before we put him in the bath so that we can make him sweat." Aragorns voice was firm...but soft.
"Let me try..." I heard Merilas speaking quietly. "Frodo..." she called to me. I was afraid to answer...afraid to wake up from the dream...of where I would be. "Don't answer." she said softly...cradling me. I was confused a little, but I tried hard to collect myself enough to listen to her. "This is juice, Frodo. Nice cool apple juice...not that foul stuff that I gave you before. Listen to me Frodo. You are not there. You are safe...we are free. Please...you must drink."
The burning on my wrists was beginning to sooth and I felt someone rubbing one of them... A tender motion that was easing the pain…little by little. I parted my chapped lips, trusting her...I didnt know why I did...I just did. Then I felt the liquid pass by my lips and my tongue quivered in relief. But as it passed my tongue...it scorched my throat and I gave a hoarse cry...turning away my head...and sputtering.
'"It hurts..." I gasped. "No more..." whimpering, I buried my face back into her shoulder, shivering once again. "C-cold...More blankets...please..."
As another blanket was wrapped around me Aragorn's voice came to me then. "Let me take that glass...I have an idea." I did not know what it was he did, for I still did not open my eyes. After a while...I felt my head being turned around...very gently and I cringed away, expecting the glass to be brought to my lips again. It hurt even to part them...I wanted...I -was- thirsty...but...I opened my eyes to look up at Merilas...blinking back tears of pain.
"This might help." She whispered kindly. Between her fingers was a small dropper...like that one would use to feed a baby animal. I squirmed slightly at the idea..."Just a few drops at a time..." I felt...exposed...lying there...I didn't feel as though I had anything on but my breaches. And yet...strangely comforted by the look in her eyes. There was only one other who could stir that expression...and make me feel...Finally I remembered where I was and where I needed to be...and I nodded slightly.
It was cool...the drops...she inserted it into my lips, and I hardly had to do a thing. I closed my eyes, as I felt the liquid trickle down my red swollen throat. It was like having an ice cube pass over a burn...I shivered...but it felt better this time.
"He's taking it." Arwen smiled softly, I believe she was the one who was rubbing my wrists, and as I opened my eyes weakly…I realized I was right. I tried to smile…but it hurt.
I heard Legolas in the background. "We've brought the hot water…" he and Aragorn were now speaking in low tones.
"Merilas?" I murmured softly. "Is everything okay now? Did he…?Did you…" I tried to talk… I did want to know. I wanted her to be happy…and…I struggled a bit. I wanted to be able to sit up.
"Yes we talked, Frodo." She stroked my hair gently. "Everything is fine." She would not let me distract her from her task however…and soon I think the dropper was finished...but she filled it again. I cringed a little...I didn't want it again. "One more, Frodo."
"Did…did you Are you going back to Mirkwood?" I asked fretfully. If she was going home…maybe I could too. I looked up at her, then looked over to Legolas who had overheard me. He looked at Meri, but she did not look back at him, she was focused upon me.
"That is not decided, Frodo. Don't you worry about me. You just think about yourself right now." She smiled kindly, and began to cajole me into opening my mouth once again. I sighed, closing my eyes…and relented.
Legolas was close to us, and I opened my eyes once again. I saw him lay his hand on Merilas' shoulder and look down at her. I knew then that he loved her...even after everything she had been to...and what was done to her. I looked up at him. If he did...then...then it was possible....I looked away. No. I didn't want to think about that. I just had to...accept what was bound to happen when I returned to Rivendell. If I returned to Rivendell.
I closed my eyes again and lay my head against her shoulder. They lifted me out of the bed...and I felt someone help me undress completely. I was confused for a moment...but it was not like the time ...back in... the tower...with those awful hands clawing me...stripping every last ounce of dignity away.
I shivered and I felt myself being lifted into a steamy bath. The water...smelt vaguely of chamomile...but it was hot...very hot. I squirmed and struggled a bit. "Too hot..."
Aragorn's voice was stern...but gentle at the same time. "We must bring down the fever. Do not let him struggle." I tried to feel indignant...having someone else bathe me was not my favorite thing in the world. It did not seem that I had a choice and all I could do was curl up against the side of the tub.
Someone was there to hold my head. Water was run through my curls, and I felt something creamy against my skin. I was fading quickly though...tired...so tired...
The aroma from the soap was strangely comforting and I felt someone massaging my back while I lay curled against the tub. Eucalyptus…I remembered Bilbo using it once. He had said that if mixed in the right way and applied in the proper manner it could reduce stress…and it always seemed to work before. I felt my skin tingle, and I sighed…I was a little numb still…but now…no longer numb with pain…just comfortable…my body was slowly beginning to relax.
"Its working." I heard Arwen's soft voice. "How long should he be in the water?"
"About an hour." Aragorn's voice.
And there they did keep me…I still felt hot…but strangely relaxed. I knew I was sweating fiercely. Once the treatment was complete I was lifted into a towel and dried off. I felt lethargic…I didn't want to move. It felt nice now…very nice…I wanted to sleep. Arwen tucked me into the bed and then she nodded to Legolas. "He needs warmth….and Aragorn and I must attend a council. You and Merilas must care for him now. We will return soon."
I don't know exactly how it happened…only that once they were out of the room I felt Legolas on one side…and Merilas on the other. It was much like sleeping between Aragorn and Arwen…but only…much nicer. I opened my eyes and saw her looking at Legolas…and him looking at her. I smiled in content and snuggled into the covers. I could sleep…even if the fever was still high…and my throat felt sore.
I felt sure that I felt him take her hand.
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Warning : Tissue needed.J
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 30 : Comfortably Numb
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is nothing like feeling you are close to death and having your body go numb. I couldn't feel anything, really…and yet every movement was painful. I was thinking about the Tower again, though I was vaguely aware that I wasn't there anymore. I could not get it out of my mind. Everytime it was cold…or I felt pain…I remembered, and I could not forget. Because I could not forget…it made it worse.
My mind churned back to the events surrounding my capture…I remembered…a feeling of drowning…but I was not in water…they were pouring something…over my head…water I think…but it was not clear and cool….at least I don't remember it that way…and there had been something under my chin…I coughed and then began to choke, sputtering and coughing…struggling with the hands that were holding me down. I had to breathe. My wrists were bound and I couldn't move…I felt the rope burning into my skin as I tried to cry out…but if I opened my mouth water would rush in… I vaguely heard someone's voice trying to soothe me…but the memory had leapt up in my mind and was clinging to it. …I was freezing…."You must drink something." I heard a male voice...Aragorn?
"Frodo…" I heard someone speaking…Arwen…I thought…maybe…Someone was holding me…I felt their arms around me…and I relaxed just a little. I could …no…"You must drink something…" I shook my head furiously and buried myself against the one who was holding me…rocking me. I felt cold…but I also felt hot at the same time. My body was shivering…and there was so much pain…that I was becoming almost numb.
I didn't open my eyes yet…I felt something soft rubbing against my skin. A towel of some sort? A little bit later I felt fingers rubbing a cream into my chest…and there were vapors that rose from the cream. Merilas was singing…I could hear her sweet voice…were those her arms around me? Then I must still be in the tower…But I also heard Arwen and Aragorn…was I dreaming? I was beginning to be able to breathe again…a little…though it hurt with every breath I took. Why didn't they just leave me to die...I'd wanted that for so long...but they kept pushing me...kept looking for strength. I was tired of being strong. Just...tired...
"He is not drinking anything...he will dehydrate if he does not take anything down soon." Arwen's voice was clear and musical through the misty darkness.
"He -must- drink before we put him in the bath so that we can make him sweat." Aragorns voice was firm...but soft.
"Let me try..." I heard Merilas speaking quietly. "Frodo..." she called to me. I was afraid to answer...afraid to wake up from the dream...of where I would be. "Don't answer." she said softly...cradling me. I was confused a little, but I tried hard to collect myself enough to listen to her. "This is juice, Frodo. Nice cool apple juice...not that foul stuff that I gave you before. Listen to me Frodo. You are not there. You are safe...we are free. Please...you must drink."
The burning on my wrists was beginning to sooth and I felt someone rubbing one of them... A tender motion that was easing the pain…little by little. I parted my chapped lips, trusting her...I didnt know why I did...I just did. Then I felt the liquid pass by my lips and my tongue quivered in relief. But as it passed my tongue...it scorched my throat and I gave a hoarse cry...turning away my head...and sputtering.
'"It hurts..." I gasped. "No more..." whimpering, I buried my face back into her shoulder, shivering once again. "C-cold...More blankets...please..."
As another blanket was wrapped around me Aragorn's voice came to me then. "Let me take that glass...I have an idea." I did not know what it was he did, for I still did not open my eyes. After a while...I felt my head being turned around...very gently and I cringed away, expecting the glass to be brought to my lips again. It hurt even to part them...I wanted...I -was- thirsty...but...I opened my eyes to look up at Merilas...blinking back tears of pain.
"This might help." She whispered kindly. Between her fingers was a small dropper...like that one would use to feed a baby animal. I squirmed slightly at the idea..."Just a few drops at a time..." I felt...exposed...lying there...I didn't feel as though I had anything on but my breaches. And yet...strangely comforted by the look in her eyes. There was only one other who could stir that expression...and make me feel...Finally I remembered where I was and where I needed to be...and I nodded slightly.
It was cool...the drops...she inserted it into my lips, and I hardly had to do a thing. I closed my eyes, as I felt the liquid trickle down my red swollen throat. It was like having an ice cube pass over a burn...I shivered...but it felt better this time.
"He's taking it." Arwen smiled softly, I believe she was the one who was rubbing my wrists, and as I opened my eyes weakly…I realized I was right. I tried to smile…but it hurt.
I heard Legolas in the background. "We've brought the hot water…" he and Aragorn were now speaking in low tones.
"Merilas?" I murmured softly. "Is everything okay now? Did he…?Did you…" I tried to talk… I did want to know. I wanted her to be happy…and…I struggled a bit. I wanted to be able to sit up.
"Yes we talked, Frodo." She stroked my hair gently. "Everything is fine." She would not let me distract her from her task however…and soon I think the dropper was finished...but she filled it again. I cringed a little...I didn't want it again. "One more, Frodo."
"Did…did you Are you going back to Mirkwood?" I asked fretfully. If she was going home…maybe I could too. I looked up at her, then looked over to Legolas who had overheard me. He looked at Meri, but she did not look back at him, she was focused upon me.
"That is not decided, Frodo. Don't you worry about me. You just think about yourself right now." She smiled kindly, and began to cajole me into opening my mouth once again. I sighed, closing my eyes…and relented.
Legolas was close to us, and I opened my eyes once again. I saw him lay his hand on Merilas' shoulder and look down at her. I knew then that he loved her...even after everything she had been to...and what was done to her. I looked up at him. If he did...then...then it was possible....I looked away. No. I didn't want to think about that. I just had to...accept what was bound to happen when I returned to Rivendell. If I returned to Rivendell.
I closed my eyes again and lay my head against her shoulder. They lifted me out of the bed...and I felt someone help me undress completely. I was confused for a moment...but it was not like the time ...back in... the tower...with those awful hands clawing me...stripping every last ounce of dignity away.
I shivered and I felt myself being lifted into a steamy bath. The water...smelt vaguely of chamomile...but it was hot...very hot. I squirmed and struggled a bit. "Too hot..."
Aragorn's voice was stern...but gentle at the same time. "We must bring down the fever. Do not let him struggle." I tried to feel indignant...having someone else bathe me was not my favorite thing in the world. It did not seem that I had a choice and all I could do was curl up against the side of the tub.
Someone was there to hold my head. Water was run through my curls, and I felt something creamy against my skin. I was fading quickly though...tired...so tired...
The aroma from the soap was strangely comforting and I felt someone massaging my back while I lay curled against the tub. Eucalyptus…I remembered Bilbo using it once. He had said that if mixed in the right way and applied in the proper manner it could reduce stress…and it always seemed to work before. I felt my skin tingle, and I sighed…I was a little numb still…but now…no longer numb with pain…just comfortable…my body was slowly beginning to relax.
"Its working." I heard Arwen's soft voice. "How long should he be in the water?"
"About an hour." Aragorn's voice.
And there they did keep me…I still felt hot…but strangely relaxed. I knew I was sweating fiercely. Once the treatment was complete I was lifted into a towel and dried off. I felt lethargic…I didn't want to move. It felt nice now…very nice…I wanted to sleep. Arwen tucked me into the bed and then she nodded to Legolas. "He needs warmth….and Aragorn and I must attend a council. You and Merilas must care for him now. We will return soon."
I don't know exactly how it happened…only that once they were out of the room I felt Legolas on one side…and Merilas on the other. It was much like sleeping between Aragorn and Arwen…but only…much nicer. I opened my eyes and saw her looking at Legolas…and him looking at her. I smiled in content and snuggled into the covers. I could sleep…even if the fever was still high…and my throat felt sore.
I felt sure that I felt him take her hand.
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