Author's Note : Updates haven't been to regular just cause I've been feeling very poorly. Bad earache…like having shooting pains jolt through your head. Its draining today which makes it a bit better. I got a bit stressed out over the last weekend and I think I stressed out enough to make me sick. I'm feeling better now. I hope. I can certainly identify with Frodo's pain at the moment. But at my friend suggestion have started using a different medication. Seems to be working. For this chapter, Frodo is talking about Gailethil. The elf that is in my Dreams and Rings story. Everyone seemed to want a happy ending for him for once after all the pain and agony in this fic, so I decided to give him one. This is not the last chapter. There is -one- more!
Frodo's POV
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CHAPTER 33 : The Face of Love
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They were using a carriage for most of the way to Rivendell for I needed to be lying down. Pillows were everywhere, and I was never without someone inside with me. Still…I couldn't get comfortable. Sam was there with me, talking endlessly about Bag End, trying to take my mind off of the pain. I faded in and out…and I didn't know how long…sometimes I woke and it was daytime…other times I woke and the sky was dark with stars. "Sam…?" I looked around when I woke up, we had stopped for the night, apparently.
"Mr. Frodo?" Sam looked a bit bleary eyed as he came to my side. He'd been sleeping…I sighed, I hated waking people up…making them take care of me. But…
"Where are we Sam?"
"On the way, Mr. Frodo. Its been a week." He brought a cloth to my forehead and dabbed it against me. I shivered…not at the touch but because I was cold…too cold. There was no breeze…yet. He drew another blanket around me.
"Will I make it Sam? If…If I don't…can you do something for me?" I looked up at him seriously. He blanched slightly.
"You're going to make it Mr. Frodo, lets not hear any of that talk…"
"Sam..PLEASE. Listen to me." I clutched his shoulder weakly. "If…If I don't. You have to promise me something."
"Anything,…" tears sprang into Sam's eyes as he tried to steady me.
"Return it…return it to her and tell her…please…" I coughed, pain was building in my chest again, but I had to get him to promise. "Tell her I…" and I couldn't focus my thoughts because of the pain that flooded into my upper chest. It was becoming difficult to breathe.
"Aragorn!" Sam cried out.
He tried to steady me...but I wanted to talk...it hurt. Tears filled my eyes and I saw Aragorn flip open the carriage door and step inside. He lifted me up so that I was resting against his arm, and had Sam rub my back. Everytime I tried to talk...nothing came out of my throat...like my voice was gone...I knew it wasn't though...it was just that it hurt...I stared up at Aragorn in fear. Arwen opened the door and she had some steaming hot tea.
"Shh, Frodo..Don't try and talk..." Aragorn brushed back my hair and cradled me in his arms.
I didn't want...so many people...too many people with me. I looked over at Sam...pleading. He didn't understand...then I looked over at Arwen. She...I think she understood.
"Yes Frodo." Arwen said softly. "I'll tell her."
I breathed a sigh of relief and closed my eyes, though tears still fell as she tried to get me to drink some of the tea. Throughout the night they tended to me, it was difficult at first…but Arwen's cajoling forced tea into me, Aragorn's gentle touch kept me calm…and Sam's devotion kept me sane. I couldn't talk…every time I tried it hurt deep in my throat…and they did their best to understand what I needed and wanted.
Eventually…they had to move again in the morning…and I began to feel every bump in the road. I tried hard not to complain…or make any sounds that might cause them to stop once again. I felt bad enough as it was not being well enough to walk. It hurt…hurt that this was the last task I needed to do…and I did not have the strength to make it.
My head was in Sam's lap as he doused my skin with the cool clothes repeatedly…keeping the temperature down. I shivered…opening my eyes. After everything that I had been through was I really going to let something like this take me down? I was tired of fighting…tired of working against nature. I didn't know what strength was left in me. I looked down at my hand…I was scarred…permanently. Maimed…by my own stupidity. How could I explain that? Would she ask…What could I tell her?
Who would want someone like me, anyway? I was broken...there was nothing left for me in Hobbiton. No Hobbit lass would be able to deal with me the way I was. Children...I couldn't even think about that. Maybe Arwen was right...perhaps I should go to ValinorI had time to think about that too. I didn't know what I was going to do after I finished my book. To an elf...what was I? I did not even know if I could love. My emotions were in such turmoil, spilling over one day and cold as a stone the next. I felt overwhelmed with pain...and then I felt nothing. I just...lived. I didnt know. I didnt want her to look at me the way I was now...She would. She would take me up in her arms as she did before, and yet. If hat was all she'd ever give to me...it would be enough.
Comfort is what I wanted...what I needed. I was not strong enough for anything else...and doubted I ever would be again. All I wanted...was to be told everything would be alright....and to know that it was true. I could not in all good sense...expect her to do anything other than comfort me. To feel anything...other than friendship. Merilas told me earlier that to love someone who is in pain is difficult, and that it showed great character in Legolas that he was able to look past her face and into her heart. Would it always be my fate to wonder whether love came from pity?
I always have loved her. Since....since longer than I can remember. From the very first time we met as children...I knew that no matter what happened...no matter how she received me, I'd never stop. I spent 17 years wasting time...trying to figure out what the right thing to do was. I smiled vaguely, and it must have confused Sam a little he was trying to get me to drink something. I did comply then, I didn't have the strength to argue. What was the right thing anyway? I had nothing more to do than to decide what that was.
But in order to do that...I had to get there. I had to face her. Days turned to nights and nights turned to days. The fever passed in and out, and my voice gradually returned, still hoarse. I began to grow colder and colder...shivering as though it was the dead of winter....We were passing through a familiar territory...and I began to remember. Riding alone...on a white horse...the wraiths behind me...I cried out in terror...and I felt someone trying to calm me down, but I saw it all again in my mind as we crossed the ford. My shoulder burned...throbbing with pain...and once again I was finding it hard to breathe....and my site was clouded by mists.
"Come back..."
"Come Back..."
"To Mordor...we will take you."
"Nooooo!" I cried out….they were gone…but…they were back…how… "By all the Shire...you shall have neither the ring....nor me!" I struggled against whomever was holding me down...and then...it was almost dark...and a great light began to build around me...flooding through my body...washing way my fear and dread...I felt like I was falling...and I heard an elven song...and that was all...
The last thing I saw was the face of love, she was gazing down at me with a look in her eye that was everything I held dear in life...then a pleasant sleep came upon me and my body fell to it gladly. It had been long since I had slept without nightmares.
"Melleth."
It was over.
Everything would be alright.
Frodo's POV
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CHAPTER 33 : The Face of Love
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They were using a carriage for most of the way to Rivendell for I needed to be lying down. Pillows were everywhere, and I was never without someone inside with me. Still…I couldn't get comfortable. Sam was there with me, talking endlessly about Bag End, trying to take my mind off of the pain. I faded in and out…and I didn't know how long…sometimes I woke and it was daytime…other times I woke and the sky was dark with stars. "Sam…?" I looked around when I woke up, we had stopped for the night, apparently.
"Mr. Frodo?" Sam looked a bit bleary eyed as he came to my side. He'd been sleeping…I sighed, I hated waking people up…making them take care of me. But…
"Where are we Sam?"
"On the way, Mr. Frodo. Its been a week." He brought a cloth to my forehead and dabbed it against me. I shivered…not at the touch but because I was cold…too cold. There was no breeze…yet. He drew another blanket around me.
"Will I make it Sam? If…If I don't…can you do something for me?" I looked up at him seriously. He blanched slightly.
"You're going to make it Mr. Frodo, lets not hear any of that talk…"
"Sam..PLEASE. Listen to me." I clutched his shoulder weakly. "If…If I don't. You have to promise me something."
"Anything,…" tears sprang into Sam's eyes as he tried to steady me.
"Return it…return it to her and tell her…please…" I coughed, pain was building in my chest again, but I had to get him to promise. "Tell her I…" and I couldn't focus my thoughts because of the pain that flooded into my upper chest. It was becoming difficult to breathe.
"Aragorn!" Sam cried out.
He tried to steady me...but I wanted to talk...it hurt. Tears filled my eyes and I saw Aragorn flip open the carriage door and step inside. He lifted me up so that I was resting against his arm, and had Sam rub my back. Everytime I tried to talk...nothing came out of my throat...like my voice was gone...I knew it wasn't though...it was just that it hurt...I stared up at Aragorn in fear. Arwen opened the door and she had some steaming hot tea.
"Shh, Frodo..Don't try and talk..." Aragorn brushed back my hair and cradled me in his arms.
I didn't want...so many people...too many people with me. I looked over at Sam...pleading. He didn't understand...then I looked over at Arwen. She...I think she understood.
"Yes Frodo." Arwen said softly. "I'll tell her."
I breathed a sigh of relief and closed my eyes, though tears still fell as she tried to get me to drink some of the tea. Throughout the night they tended to me, it was difficult at first…but Arwen's cajoling forced tea into me, Aragorn's gentle touch kept me calm…and Sam's devotion kept me sane. I couldn't talk…every time I tried it hurt deep in my throat…and they did their best to understand what I needed and wanted.
Eventually…they had to move again in the morning…and I began to feel every bump in the road. I tried hard not to complain…or make any sounds that might cause them to stop once again. I felt bad enough as it was not being well enough to walk. It hurt…hurt that this was the last task I needed to do…and I did not have the strength to make it.
My head was in Sam's lap as he doused my skin with the cool clothes repeatedly…keeping the temperature down. I shivered…opening my eyes. After everything that I had been through was I really going to let something like this take me down? I was tired of fighting…tired of working against nature. I didn't know what strength was left in me. I looked down at my hand…I was scarred…permanently. Maimed…by my own stupidity. How could I explain that? Would she ask…What could I tell her?
Who would want someone like me, anyway? I was broken...there was nothing left for me in Hobbiton. No Hobbit lass would be able to deal with me the way I was. Children...I couldn't even think about that. Maybe Arwen was right...perhaps I should go to ValinorI had time to think about that too. I didn't know what I was going to do after I finished my book. To an elf...what was I? I did not even know if I could love. My emotions were in such turmoil, spilling over one day and cold as a stone the next. I felt overwhelmed with pain...and then I felt nothing. I just...lived. I didnt know. I didnt want her to look at me the way I was now...She would. She would take me up in her arms as she did before, and yet. If hat was all she'd ever give to me...it would be enough.
Comfort is what I wanted...what I needed. I was not strong enough for anything else...and doubted I ever would be again. All I wanted...was to be told everything would be alright....and to know that it was true. I could not in all good sense...expect her to do anything other than comfort me. To feel anything...other than friendship. Merilas told me earlier that to love someone who is in pain is difficult, and that it showed great character in Legolas that he was able to look past her face and into her heart. Would it always be my fate to wonder whether love came from pity?
I always have loved her. Since....since longer than I can remember. From the very first time we met as children...I knew that no matter what happened...no matter how she received me, I'd never stop. I spent 17 years wasting time...trying to figure out what the right thing to do was. I smiled vaguely, and it must have confused Sam a little he was trying to get me to drink something. I did comply then, I didn't have the strength to argue. What was the right thing anyway? I had nothing more to do than to decide what that was.
But in order to do that...I had to get there. I had to face her. Days turned to nights and nights turned to days. The fever passed in and out, and my voice gradually returned, still hoarse. I began to grow colder and colder...shivering as though it was the dead of winter....We were passing through a familiar territory...and I began to remember. Riding alone...on a white horse...the wraiths behind me...I cried out in terror...and I felt someone trying to calm me down, but I saw it all again in my mind as we crossed the ford. My shoulder burned...throbbing with pain...and once again I was finding it hard to breathe....and my site was clouded by mists.
"Come back..."
"Come Back..."
"To Mordor...we will take you."
"Nooooo!" I cried out….they were gone…but…they were back…how… "By all the Shire...you shall have neither the ring....nor me!" I struggled against whomever was holding me down...and then...it was almost dark...and a great light began to build around me...flooding through my body...washing way my fear and dread...I felt like I was falling...and I heard an elven song...and that was all...
The last thing I saw was the face of love, she was gazing down at me with a look in her eye that was everything I held dear in life...then a pleasant sleep came upon me and my body fell to it gladly. It had been long since I had slept without nightmares.
"Melleth."
It was over.
Everything would be alright.