Island Breeze
~Athena Zandrite
Author's note: This is a Yuusuke x Jin shonen-ai. Don't read if you can't handle boys love! Everyone in the story belongs to Yoshihiro Togashi-sensee, he rocks. Don't steal it, why would you want to?
Yuusuke sighs and falls back into the grass, looking up at the sky. So much has happened in so little an amount of time. He watches the clouds roll lazily by as the breeze picks up, ruffling through his clothes as though trying to cheer him up.
"I'll never be the same." He can feel the pain welling up inside himself again. Not only had he killed someone. He had lost someone so important to him. As much as he hates to admit it, killing Toguro made him feel dirty, how can he be any better than that guy if he sinks to his tactics? And Genkai… Yuusuke swallows, willing himself not to cry.
Losing Genkai was like losing Bruce Lee. She was his friend, his mentor and in a way, his idol. She had been a surrogate Grandmother to him, teaching him martial arts and feeding him milk and cookies. As much as he complained while working with her, he enjoyed it. And now she is gone. Toguro is gone. Nothing is sacred anymore and he feels isolated and lonely.
He heaves a sigh again and closes his eyes, letting the darkness engulf him as his mind wanders. Everyone left feels so far away. Even when they're in the same room. Hiei never talks to anyone, just glares really. Kurama is polite but aloof. Kuwabara is so single-minded when it comes to who he wants to spend time with, meaningful discussions about anything not related to Yukina or fighting were out of the question.
And then there's Keiko. Yuusuke turns her name over in his mind. It's true he has feelings for her. But how strong are they? What did it all come down to? He couldn't tell her what was going on much of the time, when they talk they always end up fighting. For some reason Yuusuke feels alienated from her. All he does is make her worry. He wouldn't amount to anything helpful to her in the future. Yuusuke's doubts cloud his mind.
He opens his eyes as an abnormally heavy blast of wind hits his body and a jovial voice calls out. "Well if it isn't Urameshi Yuusuke!"
Jin hovers right above Yuusuke's chest, blocking the sunlight and grinning down at him. Yuusuke squints getting mostly silhouette but that's really all it takes. "Jin." His voice still sounds hollow and pained.
Jin frowns and sets himself down on the grass next to Yuusuke, landing like a ballet dancer, toes first. He plops down, leaning back on his hands and looking down at Yuusuke who is watching him. "What's got your goose?"
Yuusuke raises an eyebrow. "My goose?"
"What's wrong, you look totally bummed out." Jin reaffirms.
"Oh." Yuusuke looks away, still quiet.
Jin isn't put off, he breaths the fresh air, quietly, waiting.
"Do you…?" Yuusuke's voice is reflective and he takes his time trying to put together his thoughts. "It's just…" he starts to get frustrated as he can't seem to say it correctly. "There's not much we can depend on in life." He finally manages, still thinking it doesn't sound right.
Jin tilts his head to the side. "Except death and taxes?"
Yuusuke looks irritated.
Jin grins. "Don't be so down. Sure sometimes life kind of stinks, but sometimes you get whiffs of fresh air too." He turns his face toward the wind, breathing deeply.
Yuusuke sits up, hunched over. "You're annoyingly optimistic."
Jin slaps his back roughly. "Could be worse! I could just be annoying!" He laughs heartily.
Yuusuke sweatdrops but finds Jin's laughter contagious. His mouth twitches, stubbornly against his will, into a smile.
Jin turns his head toward Yuusuke, still grinning. "Want to spar?"
Yuusuke punches his fist into his other hand. "You didn't get enough?" his smile becoming a sneer.
Jin stands, flexing an arm. "I can take you any day!" His ears twitch happily. "Hand to hand, no ki?" He puts his hands on his hips and beams. "After all, I don't want to die, just fight."
Yuusuke laughs, getting Jin's easygoing attitude. "Doesn't matter, I'll win either way." He hauls himself up, dusting his backside off.
Jin leans forward, nose almost touching with Yuusuke's. "Don't get too cocky, mister." He says poking Yuusuke in the chest.
Yuusuke blinks in surprise, looking closely for the first time really, at Jin's face, feeling the other's warm breath against his own lips and feeling a tug in his chest. He is frozen in time, trying to figure out what the heck that is as Jin straightens back up.
Jin is completely oblivious, laughing at Yuusuke's stunned expression. "Wake up Urameshi! Let's get this party started!"
Yuusuke shakes his head, flexing his fingers and pacing back a ways. Then he turns and drops into a ready stance. "Koi." He says, lips twisted into a taunting sneer.
Jin chuckles and rocks back on his heels before running forward and slicing a fist out toward Yuusuke's face.
Yuusuke jumps back, circling his left arm like a windmill and redirecting the punch, as he does this, he twists his hand to capture Jin's wrist, yanking the wind demon forward. Jin's eyes widen as he sees Yuusuke's right foot swinging around toward his side. With a grunt, he throws his body past Yuusuke, narrowly avoiding the kick. He feels a tug at his wrist as Yuusuke turns and pulls, refusing to give up control. Jin's entire body spins, to face Yuusuke and he uses this to his advantage, starting his fist out at his side then punching up into Yuusuke's gut as he spins.
Yuusuke releases Jin's wrist in surprise, holding his stomach and jumping backward. Jin pats his face. "Abunai abunai!" he exclaims in relief. "That was close!" Yuusuke doesn't wait, running forward at an unbelievable speed, he punches rapidly as Jin is pushed back, working madly to block the relentless attack. He hits a tree as Yuusuke throws a specifically heavy punch.
The force turns Jin's head to the side and he wipes some spittle from his lips testing his jaw to be sure it isn't broken. "Nice hit." He says. "I'll feel that for a few days." His fang glints in the sunlight and Yuusuke gulps, feeling that bizarre tug, tightening in his chest. Jin frowns but kicks forward, catching Yuusuke in the chest and propelling him backward. Jin's ears quiver in excitement as he launches a new attack, running forward and diving for Yuusuke's legs.
Yuusuke yells in surprise as he falls back, hitting his head on the ground and knocking the wind out of him. He gasps for air as Jin climbs up his body, preparing to grapple.
Yuusuke manages to regain his breathing and stiffens, feeling Jin inch his way upward, pressing against Yuusuke's body to keep from being kicked away. What the hell is wrong with me?! Yuusuke pushes his weird feelings away and twists his body, pushing Jin off him, then throwing a leg up over the red head's abdomen as he grabs his left arm, yanking it toward his own body. He lifts pulling the arm against his own groin, the joint starting to strain painfully for Jin. Yuusuke squeezes his legs on either side of Jin's upper arm, creating a pivot point to extract more pain. Jin yelps and twists away from Yuusuke. This movement loosens the pressure on his shoulder. After creating enough distance, he twists his arm around to grab Yuusuke's forearm and yank him bodily toward himself. With a quick movement, he slides his right arm across Yusuke's neck, pulling him tight against him, Yuusuke's back to Jin's chest. He slides his hand down the arm he has a hold of and draws it under the armpit so the hand across Yuusuke's neck can grab the other wrist, effectively tightening the neck arm to a lethal rigidity. Yuusuke makes a strangled noise, trying to get out of the grip being unable to breath. He struggles for a moment, panicked before calming down and turning his head to the right. He drops his chin under Jin's arm and takes a deep breath to recover. His hand comes up to grab the muscled arm in front of him, dropping his left shoulder and rolling the demon over his body as they both do a somersault.
Having to direct his own body, Jin has to let go with one of his arms allowing enough leeway for Yuusuke to twist around and face him, ending up straddled across Jin's waist, his left cheek to Jin's right. Both boys are now panting with the effort of the fight. But there's that ridiculous tugging in Yuusuke's chest again and he suddenly notices how soft Jin's cheek is. He notices how good Jin's body feels underneath his own, the rise and fall of his chest, lifting Yuusuke's own body. He closes his eyes for a moment trying to rid himself of these thoughts. Then he wonders why he's so upset about them. After all, Jin understands him, he's been around demons himself, heck he is a demon himself. He's kind, carefree really, and he knows what it's like to loose people, to live oppressed.
Jin senses the other's change in attitude and puts a hand on his arm. "Are we still fighting?"
Yuusuke is quiet, turning his face toward Jin's cheek, lips brushing against skin before sitting up on Jin's stomach. He looks down at Jin, quietly contemplating his eyes. "Are you lonely?" he finally asks.
Jin looks startled, quite sure he felt something akin to a kiss but he notices the serious look in the boy's eyes and relaxes a little. "Lonely?" he is thoughtful. "We lived in darkness, and I only really got a long with Toya before. But .. " he bites his lip and turns his head, not enjoying the way this conversation is headed. Sad things are not his cup of tea. He'd rather be happy and not worry about things this serious.
"Toya isn't much for conversation, is he." Yuusuke points out tactlessly.
"Toya is a friend, but yes, he's awfully serious. Not much fun." Jin says turning to look at Yuusuke again, trying to determine what the look behind Yuusuke's eyes is. "I suppose I was lonely."
Yuusuke looses it for a moment, eyes glazing as he feels that emptiness of not being able to do anything, like everyone he knows and cares about can never be close to him or they will die. He hunches over and clutches his stomach, feeling sick.
Jin is scared a little at this display coming from one of the strongest people he's ever fought. He reaches up and shakes Yuusuke's shoulders trying to bring him back. After a moment, Yuusuke's eyes focus again. "You're strong, aren't you Jin." He says quietly.
Jin grins. "Of course I'm strong. Stop being weird." He can't stand that cold feeling in his chest at the scare Yuusuke is giving him.
Yuusuke leans down, putting a hand on either side of Jin's face, his brown eyes training steadily on Jin's blue ones, with a new, almost desperate light in them. "Don't need anyone to protect you." The words come out as cracked whisper. "You won't die."
Jin looks up at Yuusuke fearfully. What on earth had gotten into him. Of course he'd been through a lot in the last couple weeks, but was it really this bad? Humans really have fragile emotions… He licks his lips and pokes Yuusuke in the chest with a forefinger. "I'm not going to die anytime soon." He agrees. "You ok, Urameshi, you look like hell." His hand rests on Yuusuke's shoulder again, in worry.
Yuusuke smiles a little, looking more than a little out of it. "You like me, right Jin?"
Jin sweatdrops, thinking this conversation is going all the heck over the place. "Yeah, you're awesome." He grins up at him then his eyes widen as Yuusuke drops down and kisses him full on the mouth. What the hell?! Jin tries to comprehend what is going on as he feels Yuusuke's lips connect with his own, in a needy, almost hungry kiss. Had Yuusuke always been interested in men? What was this? Jin tries to push Yuusuke away, finding the boy determinedly ignoring the protest. As Yuusuke breaks away and pulls up a little he grins at Jin.
"What … what about Keiko? I thought for sure…" Jin tries to form coherent thoughts. It's so fast what's going on? He stops noticing the desperate look in Yuusuke's eyes.
"Keiko… she's just a friend, she doesn't understand." He leans down again, breath warming Jin's lips, wanting to be held, wanting to be accepted. Anything. Oh God, anything. Please let someone be with me…
Jin gasps into Yuusuke's mouth as the other captures his again in a needy kiss. It is inexperienced and clumsy, completely desperate. Jin closes his eyes for a moment, trying to block out the sensation rising in his chest. He's never really thought completely about who he's romantically interested in. Toya being his only friend at all. He disliked most of the other teammates excluding maybe Gama who completely freaked him out but was a decent fellow. But no one had ever kissed him, and certainly not like this. In the back of his mind he wonders if this is really good for Yuusuke, but mostly he's just noticing how nice it actually feels. Yuusuke has a rough way of doing everything, making it seem much more sincere. Jin feels himself responding to the kiss, allowing his lips to part and sucking a little at Yuusuke's lower lip.
Yuusuke collapses against Jin's chest, enjoying the feeling of someone against him, close enough to be with him. His kiss becomes aggressive and his tongue runs along Jin's lips experimentally. Jin nibbles at Yuusuke's lip tasting an irony feeling of blood. Yuusuke also tastes it, memories flooding back to him, Kuwabara seemingly dying at Toguro's hands. Genkai bleeding to death in his arms. He feels a tear slip down his cheek.
Jin opens his eyes as he feels something wet hit his face. Yuusuke is crying. Suddenly he feels terrible for letting Yuusuke do this in his obviously confused state. He breaks the kiss reaching up to wipe the tears off Yuusuke's cheek with his thumb. "This isn't what you need." He says quietly.
Yuusuke looks down at him, face red with tears and the warmth of their activities. A trickle of blood makes it's way down his chin, blending with fresh tears. "I need someone." He says in a broken voice.
Jin wraps his arms around Yuusuke's waist and hugs him. "Not like that." He says gently. "More like this." He feels Yuusuke relax against him, setting his head on Jin's shoulder and crying finally, having it all out.
"I'm sorry, I'm being such a freaking wuss…" he says through sobs. "Yuusuke Urameshi is a useless bonehead…"
Jin pat's Yuusuke's head and sits up holding onto him. "Shut up Urameshi. Everyone needs to get it all out sometime."
The breeze picks up blowing some leaves past them as the sun starts to set. They sit for a while as the shadows are framed with orangish light and Yuusuke cleanses himself emotionally. Finally he catches his breath and sits back wiping his eyes. He turns his head from Jin, embarrassed about his behavior for the day. "Sorry, I shouldn't have treated you like that."
Jin sighs and rests an arm on his knee. "You know you're a pretty good kisser." He smiles a little.
Yuusuke flushes in embarrassment. "If you tell anyone about that…"
"Hehe, you owe me." Jin chuckles feeling slightly empty now.
"I can't believe I cried too… god I'm such a baby." Yuusuke clenches a fist in exasperation at himself. Utterly humiliated.
Jin tilts his head. "You know. It's good to get it out. I won't tell anyone."
Yuusuke looks at him for a moment, feeling fresh from all the pent up tension of the Ankoku Bujutsukai. "Jin…"
Jin trains his eyes on Yuusuke.
"Thanks. And I'm sorry."
Jin pokes his nose. "You're an idiot."
Yuusuke laughs and punches his arm. "Shut up asshole."
Jin laughs too, ignoring a new ache in his chest. "It's true."
They both laugh as a breeze blows by them again.
Ahh well, I wanted to write a naughty Jin x Yuusuke, but I could not bring myself to change their characters that much. Even this was too much for me. Yuusuke crying, what's the world coming to? This was actually an idea from the ReiKiTantei message board when we were talking about odd pairings. So this is for Yuki-chan I hope she enjoys this. ::bows apologetically:: It was too angsty!! I'm such a buffoon! Now I feel all sad for Jin. But yay he got to kiss Yuusuke! I'd have gone further but X_x it felt like I was raping poor Jin. I love him too much to do nasty things to him! Most of the grappling moves were real Judo moves. So hard to describe! When you're doing them it's just like a huge mix of arms and legs. ^^;; Could make for some sexy lemon though… ::drools:: WHY CAN'T I WRITE IT?! I'm a looser. :D Yare yare. BTW Abunai = dangerous, koi = come (or love/carp but not in this case). Let me know what you think! Don't rip me up too much!