Title: Forgiven
Author: Keridwen
Disclaimer: The end is here / repent ye sinners! And be warned ye
reviewers, this is the chapter where I won't mind if you Flame! FREE FOR
ALL ON MY FIC. Basically, it's done now, and I am satisfied to the point
where I am no longer tearing my hair. It's now time to send my child out
into the wide world. Star Trek belongs to whoever is belongs to.duh!
Beginnings - Endings - what once was lost, has now been found!
EARLIER McCoy's POV
Various parts of his body were going numb. First it had been his hands. The splinters that had been his bones and joints were now only whispers of pain, like the whispers in his head that were constantly with him, telling him he was going to die. His memories concerning his hands; surgery, using a tricorder, shaking a fist in rage, caressing a tear from a face, those feelings were absent and unattainable now.
His body thrummed with pain. Broken ribs, most likely, had caused his breathing to slow to short shallow gasps. His skin ached from abrasions and bruises. All of this went on through time until it became a part of him. Until he could no longer remember a time when he had been without pain.
Lying on that floor, awaiting death, he had become contemplative about his life, and bitter at the circumstances in which he was now going to die.
He never rejected all that he believed in. Giving help to those in pain, no matter what past opinions he held about them, was still an important part of his psyche. When a Doctor helps others with sickness, and problems of pain, the problems he harbors are eased. Being a Doctor is a kind of self-therapy.
Yet, as McCoy lay there at the bottom of a cell, waiting for death, he reasoned to himself that never helping his captors in the way he was trained to, in fact maybe even causing pain himself, wouldn't be beyond the Hippocratic oath. The whole universe would benefit from their loss, and McCoy would gladly have helped them on their way.
Now he was reflecting on all the times he had comforted someone who was at deaths door, or brought them away from it if current medical knowledge permitted. All the time, he or someone else who cared had been with them. They did not have to die alone.
He was going to die alone.
He cursed the gods and the makers of the universe for allowing this to happen. Leonard McCoy, the doctor who had given so much, was now about to go without the comfort of his family and friends. It was cruel injustice; pure and simple.
He fought despair with rational thought and logic. Spock would have been proud. 'Jim would be here, if he could,' McCoy thought, 'but the Enterprise is to far away. Jocelyn is gone, and wont return in time to be with me, if she is even able to return at all. They can't help if I am dying alone. The others? Well it is better if they weren't here. Especially Joanna.. my little girl.'
Just then, his perspective changed, and he was brought out of his thoughts by a presence. A very familiar presence.
Spock
Confusion filled his mind as the being that seemed to be Spock, but who looked much worse, picked him up and supported his head.
/Have I died already? I knew it! I died, went to Hell, and the devil looks exactly like Spock!/
McCoy couldn't tell if he was speaking out loud or not, every thing was still blurry, hazy, and confused.
"Doctor? Are you well enough to move? We must leave here."
McCoy replied by blacking out.
/Stupid, literal, walking computer!/ he thought before disappearing again into a sea of confusion. /Of course I can't move, I'm a Doctor, not a Vulcan!/
It was sometime before he found Spock again. The misty haze in his mind was disappearing. It was being driven out by a flood of energy not his own.
"A debt repaid, Doctor." He heard Spock's voice stronger and clearer as he moved up to full consciousness.
"I could hardly justify allowing the death of the Enterprise's Chief Medical Officer to the Captain until I had explored all the means of reviving you."
McCoy now found that he had the strength to roll his eyes and did so with in luxury.
"It's good to see you too, Spock."
He remembered leaving Jim and Spock, and stumbling along the countryside on Nilana, supported by Jocelyn.
Spock's energy soon gave out, however, and his legs returned to their putty- like state. He collapsed against Jocelyn, who lowered him to the ground. Once again the undying pain overcame him and the world of Nilana went dark before his eyes.
"Doctor, Doctor McCoy!"
Damn, but the devil was persistent. McCoy opened his eyes to face his eternal plight, and instead saw the face of Christine Chapel looking joyfully down at him.
"Wha!"
"Bones!"
There was Jim, hovering right at his side. He was on a biobed in the sickbay of the Enterprise. That thought alone brought him so much relief he wanted to weep. Jim was grinning like an idiot, his Nilian disguise gone now. Christine was busy checking his life signs, trying to hide her plentiful tears. And behind the Captain.Spock.
"Greetings, Doctor."
"Spock?"
It was true, he was back. He tried to sit up, but found he couldn't. Then he remembered, and slowly with regret, tried to look down at where his hands were supposed to be. There was no way they could have saved them. With worry he thought of what he had lost. How would he help the crew? Jim was sure to try and kill himself again along with a couple people from security, who would be waiting here to patch them up?
Kirk saw the sorrow enter his friend's eyes, and hurried with his good news to cheer him up.
"It's ok, Bones. Regeneration is going to take a while, at least six months, but you are going to be just fine."
McCoy looked further down his arms to where his hands had been. There, on the bed, were two squat egg shaped regeneration units humming softly, marking the growth of new skin and bones. Also, over his chest was a respirator with regeneration capabilities. He wondered why he hadn't felt it before. It stung like the devil, but at least he was healing.
"Well, we will leave you now, but you have a visitor first." Said the Captain. He turned to the door, and in came a bundle of worried energy.
"Daddy?"
"Joanna? Is that you kiddo!"?
Kirk and Spock left the sick bay and nurse Chapel returned to her office. Father and Daughter had much catching up to do.
Later that night:
"So, your Mom went home on the Athena?"
"Yes, don't worry, she was fine. It sounds like you two had quite an adventure?"
"Yes, you could say that."
(Pause)
"Dad, she told me everything before she left."
"I know."
"Are you alright with that. I know that you wanted me to respect my mom always."
"And you should, she loved you very much."
"Did she love YOU very much?"
"I like to believe that she did, once. Now, I don't know."
"You know, grandma always wanted me to believe that you had left me. That you left because you didn't love me or mom anymore."
"But, you know that is wrong."
"Yes, but for a long time I didn't. To know that it was really mom's fault and that you were the one hurting the most really changed my perspective."
Joanna and her father had talked until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. She had left, then, to the forward lounge to think things over.
In the past few days she had lost a mother, and a father, and had gained both back by what could only be called a miracle. She loved her mom, who had stayed devoted to her even through her rough spots, and she loved her father as well, who would always span great distances of space when she was in distress to be with her.
So then why did she still feel hurt?
"Sometimes things like this are never totally resolved," she told herself, "At least my father and I are back together again. He will recover. After all," she smiled to herself as she walked to her room, "He is the best, damn doctor Starfleet ever had."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Jocelyn Darnell sat down at a computer in one of the Athena's more deserted recreation lounges and composed a message to her daughter.
Dearest Joanna,
I have no excuse for my actions. I know that when I told you the truth you still believed me to be super mom, just like when you were young. You used to say to the other kids that you didn't need a daddy because you had one super mom who could do it all. I know how hurt you were by your father's absence, and I knew I was the one who caused it.
Never forget! I love you more than life itself and so does you father.
I am returning to earth to start over. I hate the press industry anyway. What do you think about the Diplomatic core?
Hm, maybe you're right. More school for me?
Well I'll miss you, but I know you will make the finest doctor in the world. Just like your daddy.
Love Mom
"I don't know Spock, I still don't think that I understood what was going on down there." (Authors sentiments as well)
"It was a unique situation, Captain. The Nilian civilization was so wrapped up in the explorations of their own internal problems for the last few years that they neglected the fundamentals of society, mainly mutual protection. The planetary defense systems had so eroded, and being primitive to start with, that it was no trouble for a company oriented in black market deals, like GyroTech, to move an entire operation down there without someone noticing. They recruited native people into their confidences with the hops of keeping an ear on the political battle in the planet. Their position was a tenuous one, and they had to wait for just the right moment, to cause massive conflict within the peoples of the planet. Yet, just as it was easy for a corrupt company to enter a planet so preoccupied, so it was with a Romulan agent, set loose in the cooperate world of the federation, trained to find the perfect situations to cause the federation the most harm. Thus we see the situation that just occurred, with the corruptors being corrupted themselves."
"So, by the time, Gyro Tech was ready to make its move, the Romulan agent had other plans. When Bones and Ms. Darnell decided to step away from the group, her operatives took the opportunity to drag Starfleet even more into this mess than it already was. Keeping Starfleet in the system, i.e. The Enterprise, was the key to her plans, and when she found out who she had really captured, and how she could use McCoy against his friends, this Romulan agent was cunning enough to try to keep the Enterprise in the system until she could activate an unprepared missile attack."
"That was the reason she kept the Doctor alive for as long as she did. The Romulan didn't know if she would need to use him again to keep the Enterprise's attention focused on the planet."
"Well, I am glad that it was all brought out into the open. What do you think will become of the agent?"
Kirk and Spock had been walking toward the turbo lift to being their morning shift. As the doors shut with a silent swish, Spock answered.
"I can not tell. The legal system in the Romulan government is very complex. No doubt she will suffer the same degradation as a spy or a traitor."
The Captain mulled over this for a minute, and then grinned.
"Well it's nothing to worry over, Spock, the important thing is that we got our Doctor back."
"Indeed. McCoy's presence would have been greatly missed by the members of this crew."
Kirk looked at Spock with understanding.
"I know, Spock, We really should try to take better care of our physicians."
Spock nodded seriously and the doors opened to the bridge.
But both men knew how close they had come to loosing one of their greatest friends. They would never again take these moments of friendship aboard the Enterprise so lightly.
Captain and first officer stepped onto the bridge to mind the store.
The End
Credits Creativity: Keridwen's three in the morning persistence to tweak this story just right.
Supporting writer: Keridwen's best friend Sparrow who is very good to try a story on . just for shock value.
Motivation: Keridwen's younger-yet taller- brother. Alias Cid. Cid would always tell me it stinks. Believe it or not that is great motivation to find out ones mistakes and eradicate them from the face of this earth.
Fan Support: Can u really guess, Tavia! With out you, I would still be sitting at chapter two picking my nose! Thanks!
Fan Frustration: Starseeker: For writing all those tempting yet unfinished stories just as I am trying to finish mine. Way to distract me!
And to Phantom: my roommate who lets my type so late at night without succumbing to the urge to kill me and eat my guts for breakfast.
And to the rest of my classmates at college who have fondly dubbed me with the wonderful nickname: trekkie
Thank you all have a good night, don't drink and drive:
But it is ok to drive and eat cheese and I highly recommend it.
God Bless:
Keridwen
Beginnings - Endings - what once was lost, has now been found!
EARLIER McCoy's POV
Various parts of his body were going numb. First it had been his hands. The splinters that had been his bones and joints were now only whispers of pain, like the whispers in his head that were constantly with him, telling him he was going to die. His memories concerning his hands; surgery, using a tricorder, shaking a fist in rage, caressing a tear from a face, those feelings were absent and unattainable now.
His body thrummed with pain. Broken ribs, most likely, had caused his breathing to slow to short shallow gasps. His skin ached from abrasions and bruises. All of this went on through time until it became a part of him. Until he could no longer remember a time when he had been without pain.
Lying on that floor, awaiting death, he had become contemplative about his life, and bitter at the circumstances in which he was now going to die.
He never rejected all that he believed in. Giving help to those in pain, no matter what past opinions he held about them, was still an important part of his psyche. When a Doctor helps others with sickness, and problems of pain, the problems he harbors are eased. Being a Doctor is a kind of self-therapy.
Yet, as McCoy lay there at the bottom of a cell, waiting for death, he reasoned to himself that never helping his captors in the way he was trained to, in fact maybe even causing pain himself, wouldn't be beyond the Hippocratic oath. The whole universe would benefit from their loss, and McCoy would gladly have helped them on their way.
Now he was reflecting on all the times he had comforted someone who was at deaths door, or brought them away from it if current medical knowledge permitted. All the time, he or someone else who cared had been with them. They did not have to die alone.
He was going to die alone.
He cursed the gods and the makers of the universe for allowing this to happen. Leonard McCoy, the doctor who had given so much, was now about to go without the comfort of his family and friends. It was cruel injustice; pure and simple.
He fought despair with rational thought and logic. Spock would have been proud. 'Jim would be here, if he could,' McCoy thought, 'but the Enterprise is to far away. Jocelyn is gone, and wont return in time to be with me, if she is even able to return at all. They can't help if I am dying alone. The others? Well it is better if they weren't here. Especially Joanna.. my little girl.'
Just then, his perspective changed, and he was brought out of his thoughts by a presence. A very familiar presence.
Spock
Confusion filled his mind as the being that seemed to be Spock, but who looked much worse, picked him up and supported his head.
/Have I died already? I knew it! I died, went to Hell, and the devil looks exactly like Spock!/
McCoy couldn't tell if he was speaking out loud or not, every thing was still blurry, hazy, and confused.
"Doctor? Are you well enough to move? We must leave here."
McCoy replied by blacking out.
/Stupid, literal, walking computer!/ he thought before disappearing again into a sea of confusion. /Of course I can't move, I'm a Doctor, not a Vulcan!/
It was sometime before he found Spock again. The misty haze in his mind was disappearing. It was being driven out by a flood of energy not his own.
"A debt repaid, Doctor." He heard Spock's voice stronger and clearer as he moved up to full consciousness.
"I could hardly justify allowing the death of the Enterprise's Chief Medical Officer to the Captain until I had explored all the means of reviving you."
McCoy now found that he had the strength to roll his eyes and did so with in luxury.
"It's good to see you too, Spock."
He remembered leaving Jim and Spock, and stumbling along the countryside on Nilana, supported by Jocelyn.
Spock's energy soon gave out, however, and his legs returned to their putty- like state. He collapsed against Jocelyn, who lowered him to the ground. Once again the undying pain overcame him and the world of Nilana went dark before his eyes.
"Doctor, Doctor McCoy!"
Damn, but the devil was persistent. McCoy opened his eyes to face his eternal plight, and instead saw the face of Christine Chapel looking joyfully down at him.
"Wha!"
"Bones!"
There was Jim, hovering right at his side. He was on a biobed in the sickbay of the Enterprise. That thought alone brought him so much relief he wanted to weep. Jim was grinning like an idiot, his Nilian disguise gone now. Christine was busy checking his life signs, trying to hide her plentiful tears. And behind the Captain.Spock.
"Greetings, Doctor."
"Spock?"
It was true, he was back. He tried to sit up, but found he couldn't. Then he remembered, and slowly with regret, tried to look down at where his hands were supposed to be. There was no way they could have saved them. With worry he thought of what he had lost. How would he help the crew? Jim was sure to try and kill himself again along with a couple people from security, who would be waiting here to patch them up?
Kirk saw the sorrow enter his friend's eyes, and hurried with his good news to cheer him up.
"It's ok, Bones. Regeneration is going to take a while, at least six months, but you are going to be just fine."
McCoy looked further down his arms to where his hands had been. There, on the bed, were two squat egg shaped regeneration units humming softly, marking the growth of new skin and bones. Also, over his chest was a respirator with regeneration capabilities. He wondered why he hadn't felt it before. It stung like the devil, but at least he was healing.
"Well, we will leave you now, but you have a visitor first." Said the Captain. He turned to the door, and in came a bundle of worried energy.
"Daddy?"
"Joanna? Is that you kiddo!"?
Kirk and Spock left the sick bay and nurse Chapel returned to her office. Father and Daughter had much catching up to do.
Later that night:
"So, your Mom went home on the Athena?"
"Yes, don't worry, she was fine. It sounds like you two had quite an adventure?"
"Yes, you could say that."
(Pause)
"Dad, she told me everything before she left."
"I know."
"Are you alright with that. I know that you wanted me to respect my mom always."
"And you should, she loved you very much."
"Did she love YOU very much?"
"I like to believe that she did, once. Now, I don't know."
"You know, grandma always wanted me to believe that you had left me. That you left because you didn't love me or mom anymore."
"But, you know that is wrong."
"Yes, but for a long time I didn't. To know that it was really mom's fault and that you were the one hurting the most really changed my perspective."
Joanna and her father had talked until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. She had left, then, to the forward lounge to think things over.
In the past few days she had lost a mother, and a father, and had gained both back by what could only be called a miracle. She loved her mom, who had stayed devoted to her even through her rough spots, and she loved her father as well, who would always span great distances of space when she was in distress to be with her.
So then why did she still feel hurt?
"Sometimes things like this are never totally resolved," she told herself, "At least my father and I are back together again. He will recover. After all," she smiled to herself as she walked to her room, "He is the best, damn doctor Starfleet ever had."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` Jocelyn Darnell sat down at a computer in one of the Athena's more deserted recreation lounges and composed a message to her daughter.
Dearest Joanna,
I have no excuse for my actions. I know that when I told you the truth you still believed me to be super mom, just like when you were young. You used to say to the other kids that you didn't need a daddy because you had one super mom who could do it all. I know how hurt you were by your father's absence, and I knew I was the one who caused it.
Never forget! I love you more than life itself and so does you father.
I am returning to earth to start over. I hate the press industry anyway. What do you think about the Diplomatic core?
Hm, maybe you're right. More school for me?
Well I'll miss you, but I know you will make the finest doctor in the world. Just like your daddy.
Love Mom
"I don't know Spock, I still don't think that I understood what was going on down there." (Authors sentiments as well)
"It was a unique situation, Captain. The Nilian civilization was so wrapped up in the explorations of their own internal problems for the last few years that they neglected the fundamentals of society, mainly mutual protection. The planetary defense systems had so eroded, and being primitive to start with, that it was no trouble for a company oriented in black market deals, like GyroTech, to move an entire operation down there without someone noticing. They recruited native people into their confidences with the hops of keeping an ear on the political battle in the planet. Their position was a tenuous one, and they had to wait for just the right moment, to cause massive conflict within the peoples of the planet. Yet, just as it was easy for a corrupt company to enter a planet so preoccupied, so it was with a Romulan agent, set loose in the cooperate world of the federation, trained to find the perfect situations to cause the federation the most harm. Thus we see the situation that just occurred, with the corruptors being corrupted themselves."
"So, by the time, Gyro Tech was ready to make its move, the Romulan agent had other plans. When Bones and Ms. Darnell decided to step away from the group, her operatives took the opportunity to drag Starfleet even more into this mess than it already was. Keeping Starfleet in the system, i.e. The Enterprise, was the key to her plans, and when she found out who she had really captured, and how she could use McCoy against his friends, this Romulan agent was cunning enough to try to keep the Enterprise in the system until she could activate an unprepared missile attack."
"That was the reason she kept the Doctor alive for as long as she did. The Romulan didn't know if she would need to use him again to keep the Enterprise's attention focused on the planet."
"Well, I am glad that it was all brought out into the open. What do you think will become of the agent?"
Kirk and Spock had been walking toward the turbo lift to being their morning shift. As the doors shut with a silent swish, Spock answered.
"I can not tell. The legal system in the Romulan government is very complex. No doubt she will suffer the same degradation as a spy or a traitor."
The Captain mulled over this for a minute, and then grinned.
"Well it's nothing to worry over, Spock, the important thing is that we got our Doctor back."
"Indeed. McCoy's presence would have been greatly missed by the members of this crew."
Kirk looked at Spock with understanding.
"I know, Spock, We really should try to take better care of our physicians."
Spock nodded seriously and the doors opened to the bridge.
But both men knew how close they had come to loosing one of their greatest friends. They would never again take these moments of friendship aboard the Enterprise so lightly.
Captain and first officer stepped onto the bridge to mind the store.
The End
Credits Creativity: Keridwen's three in the morning persistence to tweak this story just right.
Supporting writer: Keridwen's best friend Sparrow who is very good to try a story on . just for shock value.
Motivation: Keridwen's younger-yet taller- brother. Alias Cid. Cid would always tell me it stinks. Believe it or not that is great motivation to find out ones mistakes and eradicate them from the face of this earth.
Fan Support: Can u really guess, Tavia! With out you, I would still be sitting at chapter two picking my nose! Thanks!
Fan Frustration: Starseeker: For writing all those tempting yet unfinished stories just as I am trying to finish mine. Way to distract me!
And to Phantom: my roommate who lets my type so late at night without succumbing to the urge to kill me and eat my guts for breakfast.
And to the rest of my classmates at college who have fondly dubbed me with the wonderful nickname: trekkie
Thank you all have a good night, don't drink and drive:
But it is ok to drive and eat cheese and I highly recommend it.
God Bless:
Keridwen