"Kenny," Max groaned, squinting up at him. Her vision was fuzzy, and her body throbbed with pain, but she could see the relief flashing across her friend's face. She closed eyes against the bright light, and tried to clear her head of the racing thoughts. Strange images of a golden cathedral plagued her, and something else that she couldn't quite grasp. She opened her eyes again, and she felt Kenny take her hand.
"How you feeling?" he asked not taking that huge grin off his face. Thank you, he thought, to whatever is up there, thank you.
"Not sure," she gasped. "Everything is kinda sore."
He reached up to brush her cropped hair back. "God, Max, you scared the shit out of me."
"Hmm. What happened?"
"Don't worry about it. You're okay, just concentrate on that now," Kenny replied, stroking her cheek and pushing the call button at the same time. "Everything is going to be all right."
Max studied him, in her half drugged state, and saw something in his face that she hadn't seen in months. The way he looked at her, with that raw longing in his eyes. The way he used to look at her, even before they were dating. Could just be the drugs, she thought, seeing the IV in her arm. Later, I'll think about it later. Groggily, she saw Jill enter the room, and smile in astonishment. She dropped her clipboard on the chair, and walked over to the bed.
"Welcome back," Jill said reaching down to take her pulse. "You gave everyone quite a scare young lady."
Max smiled weakly. "Am I okay?"
Jill laid her arm back down. "I want to run some more tests, but the fact that you woke up suggests some major improvements already."
Max nodded slightly, the movement radiated pain all over, so she sunk back into the bed. With one last look at Kenny, she dozed off again.
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Max woke up with the sun the next morning. She lifted her head slightly, but quickly realized her mistake when pain rushed through her gut. What the hell is wrong with me, she thought, did I get hit with a bus? Maybe another elephant came to town, and it stepped on me. Nothing would surprise me in this town. Cautiously, she turned her head to the side, and reached slowly for the call button. Her abused and battered body groaning in protest, as her fingers inched closer to it. In a burst of stubborn determination she had it in her hand. Giving her self an inward cheer, Max pushed the button down. Not bad, she thought to herself, as the door opened.
"Look who decided to join the living," Joey quipped from the doorway. "Those drugs really knocked you out."
"I guess so."
Joey walked over to the bed to take her pulse in silence. "Nice and strong."
Max smiled weakly, as her stomach growled.
"I'll see if I can find you something to eat, solid food is not going to be your friend for awhile, but I'll see what I can do," Joey said and after a brief pause she added. "Kenny finally left? No one could pry him from your side."
"Really?" Max replied slowly. "Well, we've been friends for a longer time. We're partners, and we used to date. I guess he'd want to be here. Despite the last few months."
"I don't know all the details of what happened between the two of you, but he looked a little more upset then a man just concerned about a friend," Joey called, as she went off to find some breakfast.
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Kenny studied her for a few seconds before saying anything. Still pale and too thin, but alive. Jill finally convinced him to go home after Max fell asleep yesterday, and to at least shower and change his clothes. He had stopped by the office to find out was happening with Stubby and to let them know that Max had woken up. The relief lifted his heart, and made him feel like anything was possible.
"Hey, there," Kenny called from the doorway.
"Hi," Max replied, suddenly feeling a bit shy under his gaze. He's so good looking, she thought as she studied him standing in the doorway. Clad in jeans and a gray tee-shirt, he never looked better to Max. I must look awful, she thought, looking at the wires and hospital gown. My hair, he hates my hair.
"I thought you might be asleep," Kenny said walking towards her. "But I thought I would check up on you."
"Thanks," Max said smiling at him. "I guess I've been sleeping enough lately."
Kenny ached to reach out and touch her, but she seemed kind of distant. Uncomfortable even. He leaned back in his chair, and their eyes locked for a moment. Kenny reached out cautiously and took her hand. Max curled her fingers around his, and Kenny just wanted to throw his arms around her and hold her close.
"Found some food," Joey announced waltzing through the door. "And I knew that you would be back."
Kenny smiled sheepishly at her, and settled back down in his chair. Joey set the tray down on the table, and glanced at the two young friends. "Visiting hour doesn't start until eight, but I'll let it slide for you two."
"Thanks," Max said, as Joey gave her a knowing smile and left.
"So," Kenny said. "You alright?"
"I think so," Max replied slowly, studying him as she carefully spooned some jell-o into her mouth. "It's kind of fuzzy though. I was shot, wasn't I? I felt the bandages, and it feels like something ripped through me."
Kenny glanced away quickly, and nodded, "We got the guy though. He's not going anywhere."
"Hmm," Max said, finishing the jell-o, and watching him. Fidgeting in his chair, and not quite able to meet her eyes. "Kenny? You stayed, didn't you? When I was in a coma, you stayed with me?"
"Hell, Max. I didn't want to leave you here. I couldn't leave you here," Kenny said. trying to hide the desperation in his voice. What is it about this woman that had this effect on him, Kenny wondered, what is it about her that drives me wild? He looked back over at her. "We've been friends along time."
Max held his gaze for a moment before responding. "Are we still friends? After everything between us, there is a lot that I'm not sure we can take back."
Kenny swallowed, not wanting to push her after all she had just been through. "Those eight months that we had, they were the best. And the five years before you were my best friend, and I won't lose you over a stupid fight."
Max looked down and thought back to that day when they finally admitted what they both had wanted for so long.
"What are you so afraid of losing? Your life? What is it?" Max asked on Valentine's Day, in the break room.
"That you'd leave."
"What?"
" We'd be together and you'd leave. I couldn't handle that," Kenny admitted softly.
"Oh, Kenny. This is silly," Max replied, as he looked up at her.
Kenny leaned in and kissed her softly. "Do you really want to try this?"
Nodding. "Yeah."
They kissed again.
"You'll never lose me," she said softly. "These past few months, I don't know. Maybe turning 30 did something to me. A mini- mid life crisis."
Kenny reached up and took her hand between his and squeezed gently. "I've been a jerk to you, a lot of the time. And I know you never meant to hurt me. I was so afraid that I would never get to tell you that, and to tell you how sorry I was for every stupid, mean, petty thing I've said to you. I didn't mean them, it was a defense. You're so important to me, Max, and you could shave your head, and that wouldn't change."
Max struggled not to cry and to keep her voice even. "You don't have to apologize, I knew you didn't mean half of what you said. I know you, and it was your way not to hurt. I'm so sorry I hurt you because you're the last person I would ever want to hurt. And I was scared of what I was feeling. And you were right."
"About what?" Kenny ventured.
"That night of Zach's party. At least you were partially. About pushing you away so you would break up with me. Not because I didn't want to be with you though because that was all I wanted. It's all I ever wanted. You know my relationship history, and nothing ever lasts. I don't think I could have handled you dumping me, so I did it first. If my best friend didn't want to be with me, who would want too? I wanted it to be permanent too, but I was a coward. I took the easy way out," Max blurted out, not able to stop herself, as her some of her most guarded emotions came pouring out.
They sat there in silence for a few minutes processing each others admissions.
Kenny inched his chair closer to the bed, and took her hand again. "I thought I lost you. All that other stuff, everything that happened between us this past year, it doesn't matter Max. I was an idiot, we both were. I love you, I've always loved you. You're my best friend, damn it. I know we can work this out, and I know I can't lose you. Not now, not ever."
"You can let it go? Just like that?" Max asked.
"You can't? Max, you and me, we had something here. Let's fight for it."
Max swallowed, and squeezed his hand tightly. She looked up to meet his eyes, and for one of the few times in her life she didn't know what to say. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, and she reached up to touch his face. "Kenny," she started, as her voice trembled. "I, well, I. You just, I. I don't know how to react to that."
"Okay," he said numbly leaning back.
Max saw the hurt in his big blue eyes, and sighed. "I was shot a few days ago, and just came out of a coma. What do you expect from me? I can't exactly jump into your arms, and with all the drugs their pumping into me I might even be hallucinating this conversation."
Kenny eyed her warily, not wanting to push her anymore then he just did. "The thought of you dying Max, it changed stuff for me. I thought we had all the time in the world to work this out between us, but we don't. I want you back. And you're not hallucinating."
Max squeezed his hand gently. "I want you back too. Can we take it slowly? We do have time, at least we do now."
Kenny squeezed back, as they sat their in a comfortable silence. Just enjoying the company of each other.
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"Ugh. I can't believe I'm finally getting out of here," Max said to herself as she pulled on a pair of sweat pants. She fingered the faded Northwestern emblem, and pulled on a tee-shirt. "Three weeks in the hospital. . . I need to get out of here."
Sitting down on the side of the bed, she traced the outline of the scar on her stomach. Jill had taken the stitches out a few days ago, and it said it would be barely noticeable in a few months. Max caught sight of her reflection, and stuck out her tongue at the image. I must have lost 15 pounds since I've been here, she thought as she studied her protruding cheek bones, and a little time in the sun wouldn't hurt either. Her blue eyes looked huge on the thin face, and her hair had begun to grow out, and it hung shaggy layers around her face, at least the pieces that weren't sticking up at odd angles. And my roots, she thought, seeing the red growing back in. She buried her face in her hands, and tried not to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. I should be grateful to even be alive, and most women would kill to drop 15 pounds in three weeks. Plus I have an incredibly handsome guy coming to drive me home in a few minutes. Smiling to herself, she threw on a baseball hat to hide her wild, disarray of hair.
"It looks like someone is ready to leave," Jill said, walking in.
"Definitely," Max replied. "Not that it hasn't been a great stay, but it's time to go home."
"There are a few things I want to go over before you leave," Jill began in her doctor voice. "I still want you to get plenty of rest, and I expect to see you in my office on Friday. No going to work until you get my explicit approval, understand that young lady. I'm going to give you some painkillers, and I only want you to take them if the pain is horrible, and if the pain is that bad, I want you to call me. Maxine, you had a lot of internal injuries, and I wouldn't be releasing you if I didn't know that everything was going to be okay. That said if anything feels wrong, you call."
"Jill, I'll be fine. Really, I feel good. A little sore, but I know I'll feel better once I'm out of the hospital. And get a few good meals."
Jill leaned over and whispered. "And go easy on the sex."
"Jill!" Max gasped, not knowing what else to say.
"Kenny's been here everyday since you've been. I'm not one to pry, but," Jill let the sentence trail off.
"We're taking it slowly," Max admitted. "We both messed up before, and we can't just pick up where we left off. It's going to take some time to put it back together."
"I'm sorry it took something like this to make you two realize what you want."
"Me too," Max agreed, as Kenny knocked on the door.
"Well, look who is here," Jill said, nudging Max. "I'll just get the rest of the paperwork done, and then you'll be free to go."
The two women smiled at each other, as Jill left. Kenny looked from one to the other.
"Hi," Max said not being able to suppress her grin.
He sat down next to her, and wrapped his arm around her too thin shoulders. "What were you two talking about?"
"Oh, medication, and do and don'ts for when I get out of here. Girl talk."
They just looked at each other, and Max laid her head on is shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around her.
"You stole my hat," Kenny commented after a moment.
"You left it here, and I'm having a really bad hair day," Max replied leaning into him.
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"It hasn't changed much," Max said, as she entered her apartment for the first time in almost a month.
"I, uh, bought you some food and stuff," Kenny said nervously, not sure what was coming next. It had been easy when she was in that hospital bed. Now, it was back to reality, and he wasn't sure if that was going to be a good thing. Reality was where everything had fallen apart for them. There was always a chance that she would tell him thanks, but no thanks.
"Thanks," Max said, sitting on the couch, and wincing a little bit as her still bruised body ached.
"You okay?"
"Yeah. Jill said I would be sore for awhile."
"Do you want to lie down?"
"Kenny, I've been lying in hospital bed for almost a month. Know what I would love? A pizza, with everything on it. And a beer. Do you know how long it's been since I had a beer?"
"Should you be drinking? I mean you're on painkillers."
Max smiled at his concerned expression, an was torn between hugging and kicking him. "I'm not taking any pills, at least not now. C'mon. Indulge me a little bit."
Kenny grinned back at her and tossed the phone over. "Here you order, I'll find some beer. It was the one thing in the fridge that didn't spoil."
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"Oh, god. This is so good," Max moaned, savoring her pizza. "Do know how much better this is then hospital food?"
"I have a good idea," Kenny agreed taking a swig of his beer.
She finished her piece and reached for a second. "I think my appetite is coming back, as soon I was out in the fresh air all I wanted to do was eat."
"We need to fatten you up."
Max tossed a pillow at him, as he grinned at him. "I should be insulted at that, but I am a little bony."
Kenny tossed the pillow back at her. "You're beautiful."
Max grinned at his compliment. "Right. Thanks though."
"You think that I would lie to you? Max, you're gorgeous. You know that."
"You're the only one that would think that now. You always see the best in me, even when I'm at my worst. You know, you're wonderful. You've always been that way to me."
Kenny moved closer to her, aching to kiss her. "Not always. We've had our problems."
"Yeah, okay for the most part," Max agreed. "And I know I haven't always been the easiest person to deal with."
"Neither have I," Kenny said, placing his arm around her shoulders. "But you've always been there."
Max looked up at him, and smiled. Kenny stroked her cheek, and leaned in. Max wrapped her arms around his neck, and held him close. Their lips meet, and bodies melted against each other like they'd never been apart.