Warnings: Ummmm, language and Shounen-ai
Dedication: Smash, Fujin, ^.^, and Gabby!!! Yea!
Chapter 3: It's all In a Name *******
For the next couple of days I felt really stupid. Of coarse, I practically killed Irvine for sending me to Seifer's room. Although he said he "didn't know", I still don't believe him.
Currently, I was sitting in my dorm room. Dave and Charlie were um, you know, eh heh, "occupied" at the moment and Irvine was with Squall at the store. So, here I was alone. By myself. Only my thoughts to keep me from falling asleep with boredom. It was times like these that I wished I had a girlfriend.or Seifer. My mind wondered a little bit.
Why had Seifer seemed so upset? The only thing I knew is that his "boyfriend" dumped him last year. But I didn't understand why he was so upset about it. I mean, people get dumped everyday, but they don't go moping around for a year. The whole "you could never understand what it's like to give everything to someone and get nothing in return" thing was really puzzling me.
I scrunched my face up and closed my eyes. It was all really complicated. But I couldn't forget the look in his eyes when he said those things. I hear the door open and Squall and Irvine walk in. Irvine's laughing and squall was trying madly to not laugh. Irvine immediately stopped when he saw my face. I guess he was surprised not to see me in a good mood.
"Yo, dude, wassup? You look really down. Is everything okay?" Irvine walked over to the couch I was sitting on and sat down next to me. I nodded. So what? I lied. Irvine quirked an eyebrow. "Alright man, but if there is something wrong. you know I'll find out about it."
"I'm going to bed guys. G'night." Squall yawned and took off for his bedroom. Just as I heard Squall's door shut, Irvine began to get up. "Wait." I whispered, looking downwards. I grabbed his sleeve. Irvine smiled with pride. Sometimes I think he knows me better then I do.
"So, what's wrong Zell. Just tell me." Irvine put an arm around my shoulder. I'm pretty sure he already knew what the problem was, but I just had to tell him anyway.
I looked up and met Irvine's gaze. "Seifer" I stated. Irvine was like the only brother I never had. He was so nice, and always seemed to know what was wrong with me. Leaning against his chest, I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. Hopping to find some sort of comfort in him. I could tell he was smiling. He rested his arms around my shoulders and rubbed circles on my back.
"Hey, Zell, I not gonna say I know how you feel but I can tell you that you need to lighten up a little bit. I mean, "The happiest Little Goth Boy" doesn't suit you for a nick name any more. It's more like, "The Angsty Little Goth Boy" if you ask me." I looked up at him at him a laughed a little bit. With one arm he brought his hand up to my face and traced the tattoo on my cheek. Our eyes met and like an invisible force, I leaned my face towards his. I didn't know what I was doing. I was so confused at this point.
Our lips met and am electrical surge ran through my body. Irvine's hand moved to cup the back of my head and I leaned in a little more, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. For a moment I thought that what I was doing was wrong. But that thought was quickly pushed out of my head when I felt Irvine's tongue looking for an entrance. The second his tongue entered my mouth I pulled back. Breaking apart from him. My face was flushed and so was his. Irvine removed his arms from me and resolved to putting them in his lap. I followed suit.
"Zell." he started. I looked at him. "I'm confused. I mean, I thought you cared for Seifer. but that kiss, I just don't understand." He looked back, questioningly. I thought for a moment. I was really confused now. The way I felt when I kissed him. everything felt right. But there was still and empty hole inside of me, and I didn't know how to fill it.
"Listen, I don't understand it either." I paused. "I'm sorry. That was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. It's just that I wanted to know what kissing someone felt like. I have kissed other people, but I just." I felt a tear slip down my face. It stopped at my chin and fell to my black shirt. More tears followed the first and I found myself hugging Irvine again.
"Zell, it's alright. I know you didn't mean it. Come now, stop crying." I heard him but I couldn't stop.
"T-there's an e-empty place in my heart. I-I j-just don't k-know how to f-fill it." I struggled with the words and grasped Irvine tighter.
"Then you have to find out what that empty spot means. And I think I know what, or should I say who, is going to be the one to fill it. You have to figure things out for yourself, Zell." Irvine could be so wise sometimes. I guess he was right. But he said "who". Could he mean Seifer? But he's the whole reason I'm in this situation. A new wave of tears plagued my body and I didn't want them to stop coming.
I realized that crying felt good. But a thought struck me, why was I crying? Was it because I had kissed my best friend? or was it that I was confused? or was it for Seifer?
The last thing I remember was Irvine telling me that he would talk to Seifer tomorrow. I didn't catch the last part because I guess I had fallen asleep.
**********
I woke up the next morning on the couch where Irvine and me had been last night. I clutched at the blanket Irvine had left for me. Why did life had to be so complicated? Why did I have to be so insecure? Why did I have to be so. hungry? My stomach growled and I got up to scrounge for some food. I hoped today would be a better day.
TBC
Like? I kinda threw in a plot twist didn't I? Didn't see that one coming, eh? Sorry for the lack of Seifer. He'll be in the next chapter. Irvy's gonna get violent.
Um, Fujin, about your question "Where's Raijin and Fujin?" Um, I actually haven't played the game in its entirety. I don't even own the game. I played it at my friend's house and got hooked on the main characters. Are Raijin and Fujin male or Female. Sorry I don't know this. I'm kinda pathetic. I need a person to have dumped Seifer. So Info on them would be great. Thanx!
Please excuse my stupidity.
Also, since school has started, I probably wont update this as frequently as I'd like. So please bear with me k?
Luv,
Shinigami15
Dedication: Smash, Fujin, ^.^, and Gabby!!! Yea!
Chapter 3: It's all In a Name *******
For the next couple of days I felt really stupid. Of coarse, I practically killed Irvine for sending me to Seifer's room. Although he said he "didn't know", I still don't believe him.
Currently, I was sitting in my dorm room. Dave and Charlie were um, you know, eh heh, "occupied" at the moment and Irvine was with Squall at the store. So, here I was alone. By myself. Only my thoughts to keep me from falling asleep with boredom. It was times like these that I wished I had a girlfriend.or Seifer. My mind wondered a little bit.
Why had Seifer seemed so upset? The only thing I knew is that his "boyfriend" dumped him last year. But I didn't understand why he was so upset about it. I mean, people get dumped everyday, but they don't go moping around for a year. The whole "you could never understand what it's like to give everything to someone and get nothing in return" thing was really puzzling me.
I scrunched my face up and closed my eyes. It was all really complicated. But I couldn't forget the look in his eyes when he said those things. I hear the door open and Squall and Irvine walk in. Irvine's laughing and squall was trying madly to not laugh. Irvine immediately stopped when he saw my face. I guess he was surprised not to see me in a good mood.
"Yo, dude, wassup? You look really down. Is everything okay?" Irvine walked over to the couch I was sitting on and sat down next to me. I nodded. So what? I lied. Irvine quirked an eyebrow. "Alright man, but if there is something wrong. you know I'll find out about it."
"I'm going to bed guys. G'night." Squall yawned and took off for his bedroom. Just as I heard Squall's door shut, Irvine began to get up. "Wait." I whispered, looking downwards. I grabbed his sleeve. Irvine smiled with pride. Sometimes I think he knows me better then I do.
"So, what's wrong Zell. Just tell me." Irvine put an arm around my shoulder. I'm pretty sure he already knew what the problem was, but I just had to tell him anyway.
I looked up and met Irvine's gaze. "Seifer" I stated. Irvine was like the only brother I never had. He was so nice, and always seemed to know what was wrong with me. Leaning against his chest, I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes. Hopping to find some sort of comfort in him. I could tell he was smiling. He rested his arms around my shoulders and rubbed circles on my back.
"Hey, Zell, I not gonna say I know how you feel but I can tell you that you need to lighten up a little bit. I mean, "The happiest Little Goth Boy" doesn't suit you for a nick name any more. It's more like, "The Angsty Little Goth Boy" if you ask me." I looked up at him at him a laughed a little bit. With one arm he brought his hand up to my face and traced the tattoo on my cheek. Our eyes met and like an invisible force, I leaned my face towards his. I didn't know what I was doing. I was so confused at this point.
Our lips met and am electrical surge ran through my body. Irvine's hand moved to cup the back of my head and I leaned in a little more, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. For a moment I thought that what I was doing was wrong. But that thought was quickly pushed out of my head when I felt Irvine's tongue looking for an entrance. The second his tongue entered my mouth I pulled back. Breaking apart from him. My face was flushed and so was his. Irvine removed his arms from me and resolved to putting them in his lap. I followed suit.
"Zell." he started. I looked at him. "I'm confused. I mean, I thought you cared for Seifer. but that kiss, I just don't understand." He looked back, questioningly. I thought for a moment. I was really confused now. The way I felt when I kissed him. everything felt right. But there was still and empty hole inside of me, and I didn't know how to fill it.
"Listen, I don't understand it either." I paused. "I'm sorry. That was wrong. I shouldn't have done that. It's just that I wanted to know what kissing someone felt like. I have kissed other people, but I just." I felt a tear slip down my face. It stopped at my chin and fell to my black shirt. More tears followed the first and I found myself hugging Irvine again.
"Zell, it's alright. I know you didn't mean it. Come now, stop crying." I heard him but I couldn't stop.
"T-there's an e-empty place in my heart. I-I j-just don't k-know how to f-fill it." I struggled with the words and grasped Irvine tighter.
"Then you have to find out what that empty spot means. And I think I know what, or should I say who, is going to be the one to fill it. You have to figure things out for yourself, Zell." Irvine could be so wise sometimes. I guess he was right. But he said "who". Could he mean Seifer? But he's the whole reason I'm in this situation. A new wave of tears plagued my body and I didn't want them to stop coming.
I realized that crying felt good. But a thought struck me, why was I crying? Was it because I had kissed my best friend? or was it that I was confused? or was it for Seifer?
The last thing I remember was Irvine telling me that he would talk to Seifer tomorrow. I didn't catch the last part because I guess I had fallen asleep.
**********
I woke up the next morning on the couch where Irvine and me had been last night. I clutched at the blanket Irvine had left for me. Why did life had to be so complicated? Why did I have to be so insecure? Why did I have to be so. hungry? My stomach growled and I got up to scrounge for some food. I hoped today would be a better day.
TBC
Like? I kinda threw in a plot twist didn't I? Didn't see that one coming, eh? Sorry for the lack of Seifer. He'll be in the next chapter. Irvy's gonna get violent.
Um, Fujin, about your question "Where's Raijin and Fujin?" Um, I actually haven't played the game in its entirety. I don't even own the game. I played it at my friend's house and got hooked on the main characters. Are Raijin and Fujin male or Female. Sorry I don't know this. I'm kinda pathetic. I need a person to have dumped Seifer. So Info on them would be great. Thanx!
Please excuse my stupidity.
Also, since school has started, I probably wont update this as frequently as I'd like. So please bear with me k?
Luv,
Shinigami15