Author's note : This chapter details Frodo's feelings when being held by Gailethil. Not graphic, but detailed. Cuteness abounds…be warned. You probably shouldn't read this if you're under 18. I would not really rate this chapter 'R', but some folks might. It describes Frodo's desires in a round about way. So, in short : Read at own risk. Review please and tell me if you think the story should be rated R as a whole.
There's a summary at the end.
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CHAPTER 27 --- Wanting --- 3001
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She shifted, feeling the sunlight in her hair. Strange…she could not feel anything, no pain…She opened her eyes. The sun was high in the sky and gentle clouds wisped by. She smiled, feeling altogether glorious and she stretched. She wore a dress of soft blue, bound at her waist by a white cord. Her hair flowed back behind her carelessly and she was barefoot in the warm grass of the hilltop. She sat up, pulling her legs to the side and smiled.
Frodo lay just an arms-length away. He was in a silvery white shirt and pants, looking comfortable and peaceful. His breathing was even and his face was healthy and cherubic. He murmured a little in his sleep, turning around to face her, his curls falling over his eyes. It was the first time she had seen him…healthy and strong.
The bed of grass they both laid upon was on a hill…somewhere in a chain of hills…somewhere…the air was sweet and warm and smelled of wildflowers and honey. The clouds seemed to go by a bit fast…and it was almost as though they were completely alone where they were.
She reached over and stroked Frodo's cheek warmly. Her expression softened when he smiled, and his eyes fluttered open. He gazed at her in some surprise and struggled…without a great deal of effort, to sit up. He looked around, and found his voice.
"…Where are we?" he breathed out, trying to clear his mind. "Gail…?" he reached over to touch her…hoping against hope that she was real. When she did not vanish…he almost fell into her arms, curling up. He rested his head in the crook of her arm and closed his eyes. "You're here…" he sighed contentedly. Whatever else…this was the only thing that mattered to him.
"Yes." she stroked his curls fondly, "I don't know exactly where here is…I don't remember getting here…I don't remember…I only remember not being well…" she held him gently.
"Me too…" he sighed a little, "I was wishing for you….is this a dream? Are we dead? I thought…thought you must be…" he whimpered a little. "You didn't come…I was so ill…" and it felt like a lifetime ago…"I want to stay here…can we? I feel…so good…no pain…"
"I don't know, Frodo." she continued to stroke his head gently, soothing him. Though he really did not need it, he was healthy…and well. She let him cling to her though.
"What happened to you?" Frodo ventured after a while, gazing up at her with his large blue eyes. "Where were you?"
She smiled down at him, not really sure whether or not she should tell him, but decided that she must. "I was very ill Frodo. Caught…in a nightmare, I think. Arwen was tending me." she drew a breath. "I think…" she shook her head, "I don't know…"
"Gail…" Frodo clung to her a little desperately. He did not want to imagine her being ill. She was his rock…the one person he could count on. "Be careful…please. I …" he gulped…not wanting to sound jealous…or possessive. "The bracelet…don't put it on again…" tears clung to his eyes threatening to spill over. "Glorfindel…I…" he strove to find the words to tell her what he'd seen.
"There now…" she murmured softly, brushing his curls from his eyes, "He's just my friend, Muin. You know that…" she touched his chin, "You know who it is that holds my heart, do you not?"
"Yes." he did know…his heart fluttered a bit and felt light in his ribcage as he gazed at her. He'd never before been able to do so with strength in his body. She'd only been around when he was ill and weak. His eyes were large and round as he stared at her. "Where ever we are…I don't want to leave." he swallowed as his eyes fell to her lips…and he became acutely aware of her. Surely she did not feel the same. She was so calm, so much more calm that he was. His mind raced. She…his heart's desire…she was here. His wish had come true…but could he accept it?
If she noticed, she did not draw attention to it. Her gentle fingers stroked his cheek lightly in that fond way that always made him feel special, and she cradled him in her arms. He was content to be held and snuggled closely to her. If for the rest of his life, all she did was hold him…he'd be happy. This is where he wanted to be. This was his idea of bliss.
The hobbit opened his eyes again and found her watching him, "What are you thinking?" he asked her in a timid voice.
"I'm wondering how we came to be here, Muin." she whispered softly. "Someone must be reminding us of what we must hold on to. I do not believe we are dead…but that we might be dreaming…a different kind of dream than when I come to you."
"Gail…?" Frodo gazed up at her.
"Yes Frodo?"
"I am going to come to Rivendell someday." he vowed. "Somehow…"
"I know, Frodo." she kissed the top of his forehead lightly.
A tingling sensation ran through him through when she did that and he closed his eyes. "mmm." he purred softly as she stroked his curls. He loved it when she did that. "Gail?"
"Yes Frodo?"
"You're my very best friend….I want to stay like this…" he wanted to say something else, but he did not have the courage. His stomach tied up a little in knots and he felt a bit lightheaded.
She smiled, and he felt blessed to be touched by the light of her smile. He reached up and clasped his fingers in her hair, softly caressing it. "You're mine too, Frodo." she whispered back and hugged him gently.
He had to find the courage somehow…while he was strong…who knew when this opportunity would come again. If ever…he had to tell her. But…what if…what if she did not feel the same way? What if…he couldn't bear the idea that she didn't. That he was not enough for her…He was only a hobbit after all…and she was an elf. Did he really even deserve her? Could he really expect to…he strove to control his emotions, they were spilling around him and though he did not know it…completely visible in his expressive eyes as he gazed at her longingly. Wanting what he could not have….or so he thought, anyway.
"Frodo." she smiled at him. "My little Muin…" he could not know that she was feeling the same insecurities in her own heart. Her stomach was equally in knots, and butterflies flitted about therein. She tried to assess his emotions…to read what he was thinking, but she wondered if she only read something there because she wanted it to be. To him…she was like a mother…a best friend…a sister. He loved her, she knew that, but…she did not know more than that. She knew what she wanted him to feel…but she did not dare press the matter for fear of frightening him. And even then, she was as innocent as he, never touched, nor loved and the only kiss she had given was to him.
"Frodo…I don't know how long we'll be here…but we'll wake…and…" she held him closer when she saw that her words were causing tears to build up in his eyes. "And be back to ourselves…please…hold on…I'll come to you when I can…I promise. I just can't now…I'm sorry…"
"Gail…" he could not hold back the tears, as he stared up at her. "I'll try…I promise…" he promised softly, but he did not think he would be able to. He didn't want her to know the extent of what he had come from. If he did not survive…what if she never knew how he felt…he had to tell her. He was starting to feel sick again…pain…and was feeling as though he might be waking up. He didn't want to, he wished everyone would just leave him alone and let him stay where he was. "Gail…I…love you…" he whispered painfully, clinging to her.
She responded in kind, "I love you too, Frodo." the voice came from far away…and the world was beginning to spin. He felt dizzy…and sick to his stomach…
"No…" he whimpered. "No more than that. I need you…Gailethil…I love you…please don't go…come back…I'll be strong…I'll…" he fretted, tossing in the sheets next to his Aunt as both Angeline and Lilian tried their best to keep him calm. They had been trying to wake him from an unconscious state for a while now. He did not want to open his eyes…he knew she wasn't there…but…he'd promised her…and he sighed deeply…relaxing…letting them take care of him. For however long it took…he had to hang on to hope…Hope that she'd come…that she'd get through it too…that she knew he needed her…that he loved her. Tears sprang forth from his eyes and did not stop them. He lay where he was letting his Aunt and the doctor feed him, but he made no other sound, and he did not speak. He would wait…he would try…
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AUTHOR'S SUMMARY : In summary : Frodo and Gail are caught in shadow realm, but not the evil shadow realm. The Valar are helping them get through a difficult situation through almost a dream. In the dream realm Frodo is for once healthy and strong and tries to deal with his feelings for his Best Friend, wondering if she feels the same way about him, and too insecure and timid to ask her.
There's a summary at the end.
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CHAPTER 27 --- Wanting --- 3001
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She shifted, feeling the sunlight in her hair. Strange…she could not feel anything, no pain…She opened her eyes. The sun was high in the sky and gentle clouds wisped by. She smiled, feeling altogether glorious and she stretched. She wore a dress of soft blue, bound at her waist by a white cord. Her hair flowed back behind her carelessly and she was barefoot in the warm grass of the hilltop. She sat up, pulling her legs to the side and smiled.
Frodo lay just an arms-length away. He was in a silvery white shirt and pants, looking comfortable and peaceful. His breathing was even and his face was healthy and cherubic. He murmured a little in his sleep, turning around to face her, his curls falling over his eyes. It was the first time she had seen him…healthy and strong.
The bed of grass they both laid upon was on a hill…somewhere in a chain of hills…somewhere…the air was sweet and warm and smelled of wildflowers and honey. The clouds seemed to go by a bit fast…and it was almost as though they were completely alone where they were.
She reached over and stroked Frodo's cheek warmly. Her expression softened when he smiled, and his eyes fluttered open. He gazed at her in some surprise and struggled…without a great deal of effort, to sit up. He looked around, and found his voice.
"…Where are we?" he breathed out, trying to clear his mind. "Gail…?" he reached over to touch her…hoping against hope that she was real. When she did not vanish…he almost fell into her arms, curling up. He rested his head in the crook of her arm and closed his eyes. "You're here…" he sighed contentedly. Whatever else…this was the only thing that mattered to him.
"Yes." she stroked his curls fondly, "I don't know exactly where here is…I don't remember getting here…I don't remember…I only remember not being well…" she held him gently.
"Me too…" he sighed a little, "I was wishing for you….is this a dream? Are we dead? I thought…thought you must be…" he whimpered a little. "You didn't come…I was so ill…" and it felt like a lifetime ago…"I want to stay here…can we? I feel…so good…no pain…"
"I don't know, Frodo." she continued to stroke his head gently, soothing him. Though he really did not need it, he was healthy…and well. She let him cling to her though.
"What happened to you?" Frodo ventured after a while, gazing up at her with his large blue eyes. "Where were you?"
She smiled down at him, not really sure whether or not she should tell him, but decided that she must. "I was very ill Frodo. Caught…in a nightmare, I think. Arwen was tending me." she drew a breath. "I think…" she shook her head, "I don't know…"
"Gail…" Frodo clung to her a little desperately. He did not want to imagine her being ill. She was his rock…the one person he could count on. "Be careful…please. I …" he gulped…not wanting to sound jealous…or possessive. "The bracelet…don't put it on again…" tears clung to his eyes threatening to spill over. "Glorfindel…I…" he strove to find the words to tell her what he'd seen.
"There now…" she murmured softly, brushing his curls from his eyes, "He's just my friend, Muin. You know that…" she touched his chin, "You know who it is that holds my heart, do you not?"
"Yes." he did know…his heart fluttered a bit and felt light in his ribcage as he gazed at her. He'd never before been able to do so with strength in his body. She'd only been around when he was ill and weak. His eyes were large and round as he stared at her. "Where ever we are…I don't want to leave." he swallowed as his eyes fell to her lips…and he became acutely aware of her. Surely she did not feel the same. She was so calm, so much more calm that he was. His mind raced. She…his heart's desire…she was here. His wish had come true…but could he accept it?
If she noticed, she did not draw attention to it. Her gentle fingers stroked his cheek lightly in that fond way that always made him feel special, and she cradled him in her arms. He was content to be held and snuggled closely to her. If for the rest of his life, all she did was hold him…he'd be happy. This is where he wanted to be. This was his idea of bliss.
The hobbit opened his eyes again and found her watching him, "What are you thinking?" he asked her in a timid voice.
"I'm wondering how we came to be here, Muin." she whispered softly. "Someone must be reminding us of what we must hold on to. I do not believe we are dead…but that we might be dreaming…a different kind of dream than when I come to you."
"Gail…?" Frodo gazed up at her.
"Yes Frodo?"
"I am going to come to Rivendell someday." he vowed. "Somehow…"
"I know, Frodo." she kissed the top of his forehead lightly.
A tingling sensation ran through him through when she did that and he closed his eyes. "mmm." he purred softly as she stroked his curls. He loved it when she did that. "Gail?"
"Yes Frodo?"
"You're my very best friend….I want to stay like this…" he wanted to say something else, but he did not have the courage. His stomach tied up a little in knots and he felt a bit lightheaded.
She smiled, and he felt blessed to be touched by the light of her smile. He reached up and clasped his fingers in her hair, softly caressing it. "You're mine too, Frodo." she whispered back and hugged him gently.
He had to find the courage somehow…while he was strong…who knew when this opportunity would come again. If ever…he had to tell her. But…what if…what if she did not feel the same way? What if…he couldn't bear the idea that she didn't. That he was not enough for her…He was only a hobbit after all…and she was an elf. Did he really even deserve her? Could he really expect to…he strove to control his emotions, they were spilling around him and though he did not know it…completely visible in his expressive eyes as he gazed at her longingly. Wanting what he could not have….or so he thought, anyway.
"Frodo." she smiled at him. "My little Muin…" he could not know that she was feeling the same insecurities in her own heart. Her stomach was equally in knots, and butterflies flitted about therein. She tried to assess his emotions…to read what he was thinking, but she wondered if she only read something there because she wanted it to be. To him…she was like a mother…a best friend…a sister. He loved her, she knew that, but…she did not know more than that. She knew what she wanted him to feel…but she did not dare press the matter for fear of frightening him. And even then, she was as innocent as he, never touched, nor loved and the only kiss she had given was to him.
"Frodo…I don't know how long we'll be here…but we'll wake…and…" she held him closer when she saw that her words were causing tears to build up in his eyes. "And be back to ourselves…please…hold on…I'll come to you when I can…I promise. I just can't now…I'm sorry…"
"Gail…" he could not hold back the tears, as he stared up at her. "I'll try…I promise…" he promised softly, but he did not think he would be able to. He didn't want her to know the extent of what he had come from. If he did not survive…what if she never knew how he felt…he had to tell her. He was starting to feel sick again…pain…and was feeling as though he might be waking up. He didn't want to, he wished everyone would just leave him alone and let him stay where he was. "Gail…I…love you…" he whispered painfully, clinging to her.
She responded in kind, "I love you too, Frodo." the voice came from far away…and the world was beginning to spin. He felt dizzy…and sick to his stomach…
"No…" he whimpered. "No more than that. I need you…Gailethil…I love you…please don't go…come back…I'll be strong…I'll…" he fretted, tossing in the sheets next to his Aunt as both Angeline and Lilian tried their best to keep him calm. They had been trying to wake him from an unconscious state for a while now. He did not want to open his eyes…he knew she wasn't there…but…he'd promised her…and he sighed deeply…relaxing…letting them take care of him. For however long it took…he had to hang on to hope…Hope that she'd come…that she'd get through it too…that she knew he needed her…that he loved her. Tears sprang forth from his eyes and did not stop them. He lay where he was letting his Aunt and the doctor feed him, but he made no other sound, and he did not speak. He would wait…he would try…
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AUTHOR'S SUMMARY : In summary : Frodo and Gail are caught in shadow realm, but not the evil shadow realm. The Valar are helping them get through a difficult situation through almost a dream. In the dream realm Frodo is for once healthy and strong and tries to deal with his feelings for his Best Friend, wondering if she feels the same way about him, and too insecure and timid to ask her.