Author's Note/Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They
belong to the crafty, talented J.K. Rowling. The only thing I own is this
computer and maybe even my sanity (if I can find it that is). Hopefully
this story will make decent and steady progression. Flames are welcome,
but just be assured of this one little fact. they will be later on used to
roast my marshmallows to a fluffy, golden brown state. I am looking
forward to receiving constructive criticism and suggestions, so feel free
to review and tell me what I could do to make it more enjoyable to read
(make sure to tell me what you thought also!). Without further ado, I will
continue on with my fanfic. If you have any questions whatsoever; you can
place them in the reviews.
P.S. I also love feedback ^_~
Oh, and something else! I already love one person forever! I only have one review, isn't that pretty sad? I must not be doing well enough, or I just need to do something drastic. perfect! I've got the whole thing planned out!
Chapter 4
"So, Harry, you're telling me that Mr. Creevey took aura pictures of Ginny? How fascinating! I'm still trying to absorb all of what you've said so far, so if you could give me a minute."
"Sure thing, Albus, I'm still trying to recall all of the details myself, so a little break would be rather sufficient."
"Well now that that's settled, would you like to take a break and get a little lunch? I know this has to be hard on you, Harry."
"You're right again, it's very hard. especially, you know, because of."
"Yes, I'm well aware, Harry. No words need to be spoken on that. I'm sure it's hard enough as it is. So, would you like to get some lunch?"
"Yes, I'm sure that would do some good. Three Broomsticks sound good to you?"
"Absolutely perfect."
With a pop, Harry and Professor Dumbledore landed at the entrance to the Three Broomsticks, where a large crowd had gathered. Heads turned as some people noticed two new strangers had merged into the crowd. When sighted, most people parted when they saw Harry, and some bowed and backed away slowly.
"I wonder what all the racket's about, Albus?"
As if to answer Harry's question, one brave bystander had found his voice and shouted, "Hey, it's Harry Potter. He's come to save us all for the last time! Bless you, Harry Potter!"
Harry began to hear murmuring voices from the people who were shoved violently out of the way without knowing why they had made a path splitting the crowd in two. Now they knew the answer and were eagerly stepping backward, giving Harry a full view of a sign posted to the window of the Three Broomsticks.
Without hesitation, Harry walked through the part in the crowd. A big sign with bold letters became clearer as he neared. He stopped and read, and then the color drained from his face and his eyes widened in shock.
"Albus, it's getting worse."
"Yes, Harry, I believe so. And if this isn't warning enough, then I'm afraid things will only get gradually worse."
As if he couldn't believe it, Harry read the sign over again to himself.
Attention! You-know-who is back on the prowl and everyone has to keep a lookout. Hide everything dear to you, because it seems that he has a new method of attacking people. So far, 13 people have been killed by sneak attacks, and sadly, as stated in the Daily Prophet, 1 has been killed over a period of five years. Miss Weasley's death was the start of a new reign of evil to be cast upon the wizarding world. As we all continue to panic, hope rises as the form of Mr. Harry Potter, and all pray that he will save us once again. Our thanks to you, Harry, for protecting us for all these years. Hopefully you will continue to do the same for us. Regards to you, we hope you can get rid of him once and for all.
"Harry, it's going to be difficult, but I think that you are ready. You've been ready since your first year at Hogwarts. It has been long since, and you've only gotten stronger. You're one of the most powerful Aurors we know, and we all believe you'll do a fine job. Now, let's get you something to eat before you feint from shock."
As Dumbledore guided Harry into the Three Broomsticks, solemn faces were worn by the many customers, and some gave a gentle, soft applause as he entered. Obviously these people were mortifyed that Voldemort was back, and some were appreciative that Harry was still alive to defend them.
They sat down at an empty table, and Madame Rosemerta greeted both of them warmly.
"What can I get for you two?"
"I'll have a butterbeer, Harry, what will you have?"
"I think I'll have a butterbeer also, and maybe a sandwich."
"The usual?"
"Yeah, that will do."
"I'll be right on it for you."
Harry twirled the straw in the glass of water that had been set before him. He watched as the ice twirled and danced around the edges. As of this point, Harry would do anything than have to tell another detail of the story.
"So, Harry, shall we continue with our discussion?"
"Um. sure, I think I'm ready now. From then on, things just kept getting worse."
(A/N: Ginny's POV once again, folks!)
It feels so good to be out of the Hospital Wing again! I feel like I've been isolated so long that I don't have a clue what's going on anymore, like no one seems familiar. But, even having Potions first thing in the morning is better than spending one more day in that overly clean white room.
True, my leg is still a little wobbly, and I have a bandage over the wound in my head. Everything seems to be okay other than that. Well, except for the fact that the first class I return to is Potions. And except for the fact that Ron has amnesia. And maybe except for the fact that I'm still raving mad at Fred and George, for me not taking it 'seriously' enough. Other than that, everything seems to be okay.
So I guess everything's not okay. Big deal? I still have plenty of other things that I can look forward to.
Like. um. let's see. Okay, I should know at least one.
Okay, just because I can't think of something good that's happened doesn't mean I have nothing to look forward to or to be excited about. It's just; I have nothing right now, which doesn't surprise me with the way things have been going for me lately. And hopefully this will be the end of it.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I took my usual seat in the back of the class where I could be undisturbed and not be called on. I've figured out the way Snape likes to embarrass people. He usually picks on people in front, because he can actually see the result of their potions. And he calls on people in the back that don't look like they're paying attention, and finds some way to humiliate them. Or, he just calls on students he hates in particular. So, I figure, if I didn't make him hate me, and if I sat behind someone tall and made it appear as if I were paying attention, I wouldn't get that much grief from him. Colin, on the other hand, has to deal with it every time we have Potions. I really do feel sorry for him.
Well. I guess today will be my ultra lucky day. I spotted a slip of paper lying on the table. Whenever Snape does this it means that he won't be talking for about ten minutes into class. He just wants us to get working right away. So I guess today won't be so bad after all.
"All right, now that everyone is here, I'm going to put you all into groups." And I could tell be the malevolent look on his face that today, after all, would NOT be a good day for a Potions class. And then I had the audacity to look at the slip of paper on the table. We were making a truth potion, how lovely. Well, at least it was nothing as strong as Veritaseram, I guess that could be the only thing worse. Well, the only thing worse would be to be paired up with a Slytherin, and that would not be a good thing at all.
Of course, what was I thinking when I though I 'wouldn't' be paired up with a Slytherin? I didn't know her name, but just the way she looked made me want to cower in fear. Good thing I didn't too, or she might've pounded my face in.
The potion took the majority of the class to brew, and there were only about ten minutes left when it was done. Thankfully the girl I was paired up with cooperated for the most part. When Snape came around I pretended that I was so concentrated on stirring the potion that I didn't have the time or effort to look at him. But, what happened was very un- Snape like. He complimented us on our work, saying that the potion looked like it should, and that it should be strong. But.. the scary part was when an evil smirked brewed on his face.
We were testing the potions.
"Now, at precisely this time your potions should be ready. I'm going to pick one person from each group and have them test it. I do have antidotes for any possible things that could go wrong, so you can STOP waving your pudgy little hand in the air, Neville! Now, if I may continue, these people will be testing the potions. (A/N: Forgive me, but I'm just making up some last names right about now! Most of these people play soccer, and I doubt they'll ever read this, so oh well.) Abernathy, Bondi, Creevey, Farkas, McDougal, McNair, Moore, Primmer, and Stalter. Now, all of you whose names have NOT been called are to ask the other person questions, and if it works, you should know a LOT more about the other person than you ever intended to. Enjoy." And with that, Snape flicked his cloak and turned back to sit at his desk and watch half of the students writhe in pain just from the fact that they were testing it. Thank God I was not one of them.
"Okay, so how much of this potion do I need to take?" This had been the first question with a hint of politeness I've heard out of my partner all of class. She made me want to just ask her menacingly awful questions. But, she was polite about this. It still doesn't make up for her harsh attitude earlier, but I guess just some mediocre questions will suffice.
"You need to take exactly 2 teaspoons."
"Okay, so measure it out, will you? I haven't got all day, you know."
Okay, take back what I said earlier. After all, Snape does set a good example on how to be wickedly cruel to others. This will be the only time in my entire LIFE that I'll ever say this but..
Here's to you, Professor Snape!
I watched her shove it down her throat as if it were poison, and I bet it sure tasted like it, considering the things we needed to put in there. It definitely didn't seem like it would taste like sweets.
About thirty seconds later, her eyes attained a glossy sheen. She also had a blank stare on her face and she obviously wasn't blinking, so I guess the potion had already taken affect.
"So, which last name was yours that Snape called earlier?"
"McNair."
"Aren't your parents Death Eaters?"
"Yes. My dad is. At one point he tried to kill my mom under Voldemort's orders. Then I hadn't seen him in a while, I'm guessing he fled after the Dark Lord was defeated. But he's been back ever since the Triwizard Tournament."
"I see." Okay, this is freaky. What am I supposed to ask? Her parent's are death eaters for crying out loud! Should I see if You-Know- Who has anything planned? I could save countless lives. I'm not sure about this, but my gut feeling says go with it.
"So, has your dad talked about any plans involving the Dark Lord?"
"No."
Phew, good, okay, so now a huge bundle of grief just rose from my chest. It seems Voldemort hasn't planned anything.. yet.
"But, there is something." And there it goes, folks. My heart just sank into oblivion.
"What is it?"
"Well, I was reading my father's journal. I know not most men keep one, but, my father has one in his 'supposedly' secret lair I found in my fifth year. It seems that the Dark Lord is planning something. Just recently he wrote that a sixth year Gryffindor was about to be attacked, and they wouldn't, or couldn't see it coming. He also wrote that they were planning to bring her over to their side and make them powerful. But, if they refused, they would be killed."
Make it stop, make it stop! A sixth year. Gryffindor? I want to just forget it, forget it ever happened. Damn, why did I have to ask? Okay, from now on, I'll never ever rely on my gut instincts again! I can't trust them, and now, I have to beware of any other sixth year Gryffindors. I don't want to endanger myself; it would just be too risky.
"Okay, on the table now should be a vile with the antidote to the CORRECT potion made. Neville, you already got your antidote, so just. oh just wait until class is over. And DON'T touch anything! Force feed your partner the antidote, under the affects of the potion they will not and cannot take the potion themselves."
So I force fed her the antidote. It wasn't hard, really, because she had her mouth wide open. She resembled a gorilla, really. Her breath reeked of acid. That potion must really have been awful.
She instantly cocked her head to the rightful position, and her eyes snapped back into place. Alas, sleeping beauty had been snapped out of her revere.
"So, what did I say?"
Oh shit, the potion causes memory lapses too? How can I tell her that she just spilled what was probably her most intimate secret? Especially one that could get her father sent to Azkaban?
Oh, thank. thank everything in the world! Class is over! I don't think I've ever made a break for it that fast in my lifetime. Everything was so awful. A sixth year in danger and unaware of it? Voldemort. back? I could feel a lump rising within my throat; this was just too much to take in all at once. Someone is in serious danger.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The rest of my classes were a joke. I couldn't even pay attention in my favorite class, charms, let alone Transfiguration and Arithmancy. I acted spaced out, like I didn't know which way was up. And the sad part was I knew I was like that, but didn't do anything to help concentrate any harder. Voldemort. he's back, he's ACTUALLY back. Who's he after, what does he want? Everything is a blur. A part of me is celebrating that class ended right when things were getting horrible, but some of me wanted to find out more about what's going on. I'm sure there has to be more than. what ever her name is said. There has to be. There's got to be a plan involved. Maybe he's trying a different approach? Maybe he's going to kill someone. like she said they wouldn't even know he was coming. I'm so afraid for everyone, and I guess I can't leave out myself. But if even my own 'family' doesn't think I'm important, who will? Surely Voldemort can't be after me, because even my friends are starting to ignore me also. And if they don't pay attention to me, surely he can't be after me as well. I'm insignificant, which could be a good thing in this whole ordeal. I mean, what would he want with me?
I couldn't possibly go to dinner that night. I felt that if I actually ate something, it would just come right back up, and that wouldn't be a pretty mess to clean up. My stomach wasn't settled the way it was, so, why would food help it? Like everything and everyone else, it would just want to purge itself away out of my life. There is an empty hole that surely no one else could possibly feel, that no one else could possibly detect, that no one else could possibly have. The hole 'is' me, and alas, there is nothing in the world that could fill it. Hell, there was no one or nothing that would want to fill it. I've already gotten the hint that no one wants to be around me. It seems the only person there for me anymore is Colin. And still, he alone is not enough to fill it. There will always be an empty feeling inside of me that no one. what's the word. Ah, yes, that no one loves me. Not the kind of love that's shared between siblings, or shared between the best of friends. The kind that I'll never experience. The kind where someone would go to the depths of the Earth and back for you, the kind that's unexplainable. the kind that's. that's just there. The kind that is unbreakable. The kind that I long to share with Harry someday, if he ever returns my feelings. The kind, if I'm actually going to admit it to myself, that I could actually picture sharing with Colin. But, that's just absurd, so maybe it's not possible. Yet, that annoying little voice in my head says not to give up hope on that just yet.
~*~*~*~*~*~
So, instead of going to dinner, and have 'inner conflicts' about what my true emotions and feelings were, I decided to just head back up to the common room to do what I do best. read some muggle poetry.
Maybe there were some wizard poets, some that maybe I've never heard of. It wouldn't hurt to ask my muggle studies teacher. Hmm. maybe I'll do that tomorrow. But I think I'll just start reading now, and help me take my mind off of absolutely everything. Off of Voldemort, off of Harry, off of Colin, my family and my friends. But this was no way to fill the hole my entire life.
This poem. it's beautiful, and yet so sad.
(A/N: This poem was written by me, so please, be nice! Because, I know for a fact it's not as beautiful as Ginny thought it was, so please, at least 'try' to be nice!)
I've never told you I loved you, But I'm still trying. To hold onto you so, As if you were crying. And now as I think of you, I'm heavily sighing. Because the day that I tell you, Is the day I'll be dying.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I heard the Portrait Hole open, but I didn't look up to see who it was. Whoever it was probably didn't want my company anyway, seemingly wanting to be alone if they skipped dinner to come 'here.' And, if they actually did want to talk to her, she was busy, because obviously they didn't want to talk to her while she was being hospitalized.
I heard little shuffling steps, something that maybe only a young, nervous first year would attain, being at a new school and all. So, I ignored them, because a first year would definitely have no interest in talking to me.
"Um. Ginny, could I possibly talk to you about something. uh. important? If you're too busy though, I'll understand."
That voice. it was Colin's voice. Of course I have time for you, Colin!
"Sure! What did you want to talk about?"
"Well. how are you feeling? You're not blacking out, or having any stomach illness or headaches are you?"
"Nope! I've been feeling just fine!"
"Are you sure? Would you like me to get anything for you? A glass of water maybe? I know you weren't at dinner, so maybe you're thirsty."
And before I could say 'No, Colin, I'm fine, thanks, you don't have to do anything for me,' he was out of there.
(A/N: Colin's POV)
God, I didn't think this would be too hard. I mean, what was I thinking when my entire plan was to go up there and say, 'Ginny, I love you.' Really, You think that'd NOT be difficult. But, I guess it's harder than it seems in those muggle movies nowadays. Gees, the media is NOT the thing to turn to when in need of crisis solving. Actually, it's the LAST place ANYONE should look to for love advice. Of course, I would've never relied on myself for answers either, because I'm no love expert, nor will I ever be.
But how do I tell her? How to I ease into it? I mean, nothing ever comes easily to me, especially telling Ginny how I feel. I can't just waltz back into the Common Room and say 'so, weather's nice, isn't it?' That is virtually the lamest line in the book. It's been done, and it's old, and worthless, for another point. I just want her to know how much I care about her. I want her to know about how much I need her, how much I want to be with her.
'Well, dimwit, how about you tell her that.'
"Tell her what?"
'That you can't live without her. You know, all of the stuff that you just thought of.'
"Do you honestly think that would work?"
'Well, it wouldn't hurt to try. Plus, it wouldn't help beating around the bush anyway.'
"True."
'So?'
"So what?"
'So what are you waiting for? Go tell her..NOW!'
"Now?"
'Yes now, I'm sick of hearing you mope about how you love her, yet she doesn't know! Honestly, you'd be a lot happier if she just. knew.'
"Honestly?"
'Really Colin, how many times do you lie to yourself?'
"I guess it wouldn't hurt."
'There you go! Now on with it, before she decides to go to dinner.'
"All right already! There's no need to be pushy about it."
I climbed back through the hole, and saw Ginny reading once more. she was so beautiful. now how am I going to say this to her?
(A/N: Ginny's POV)
"Oh, hey Colin. Do you have my glass of water?"
"Water?"
"Yeah, you said you were going to get a glass of water for me. But if you didn't, that's fine. I'm not very thirsty anyway."
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry Gin! I didn't get you a glass of water. if you'd like me to I'd be happy to go and get you."
"No, no Colin, don't, it's fine! But, if you don't mind me asking, where were you for about three minutes anyway?"
"Well, to be honest, I was pretty much stalling."
"Stalling? What were you stalling. talking to me?"
"Well. sort of."
"Great! This is just great! First my family ignores me when I'm hospitalized, and my friends have turned against me. Now, here I sit thinking that the only person I have left is you, and you don't even want to talk to me! What, when you came in here did you just feel obliged to talk to me? Is that it? Just because I was sitting here all alone being 'pathetic little Ginny' you felt like you were doing a good deed by paying me some attention? That's it! There must be something wrong with me! What is it Colin, what is it? Am I just not good enough for the rest of you?"
"No, Ginny, it's not like that at all."
"Oh don't lie to me, Colin! That's the last thing I want. are your lies. To tell you the truth, I'd rather be alone then be fed some sympathy lines! Please, I'm not someone you can just toss around for kicks and giggles. I'm a real person Colin, a real person! And lately, not you or anyone else for that matter have seemed to comprehend it! Well, that's it! I thought I really did need someone to love me, someone to really care. But now that I see that there will never be anyone, I just want to be alone. Now, just leave me alone."
And then I did the only thing that felt sensible to me. I ran up to my dormitory, and I cried into my pillow. The truth was, I really didn't want to be alone. I truly wanted someone to love me, someone who'd love me like no other. But it seems that not even Colin, someone whom I'd considered wouldn't be so horrible. am even seriously thinking about spending the rest of my life with, doesn't even care about me anymore. He's acting just like the others. like he doesn't care about me anymore, like he wants nothing to do with me. It's so selfish of him! I can't believe he'd act like that, of all people!
'Well, if you think about it, Gin, you're the one being selfish here.'
"Yeah right. If anything, it's Colin who's being selfish!"
'Now, why do you say that?'
"Because he's treating me just like all the others have."
'Oh really, so he didn't come visit you in the Hospital Wing?'
"Well. he did do that. But he was stalling to talk to me! He didn't even want to talk to me in the first place!"
'If he didn't want to talk to you in the first place, then why did he ask you if you could spare a couple of minutes?'
"Because Colin's. well. he's just polite like that. He's Colin."
'Okay, think of this then. Did he actually say that he didn't care about you?'
"No, but who would say that?"
'What if he had something else to say, but couldn't find a way to say it?'
"Like what? I couldn't think of one thing that someone would have a hard time saying to someone else."
'How about the thing you've been even to afraid to admit to yourself?'
"Come now, that's absolutely ridiculous!"
'Oh really? Then why do you subconsciously agree to it more everyday?'
"That's preposterous! I do NOT think about it everyday!"
'Oh, but you do. I can tell be the way you're getting flustered.'
"I do NOT!"
'Really, you will thank this part of your subconscious mind one day for telling you to admit it when you finally do.'
"Admit what?"
'Oh, you know what I'm talking about.'
"Okay. fine. if it will make you happy!"
'Oh trust me, it will make you happy too.'
"Do I have to?"
'Just do it.'
"."
'.'
"I love Colin."
~*~*~*~*~*~
I must've slept through the rest of dinner, because when I looked at my wristwatch it read 'time to read some more on a full stomach.' I love wizard watches. All those other muggle watches tell you is the time it is in the muggle world. How boring is that? I could also hear loud voices coming from downstairs. This was also a dead giveaway that it was past dinner. But, why were the voices this loud. and, only three distinct ones could be heard. What was it.
Arguing.
But who was arguing? Whoever it was was in a really loud and infuriating row. It sounded like they were really mad at each other. So, being the naturally curious person that I am, I ventured down the stairs slowly, and made my way to the edge of the crowd that had formed. And then. oh my God. Fred and George and.. Colin were fighting!
"What do you mean, we don't care for our sister?!"
"You both have really upset her! Can't you see that she's feeling lonely, being treated as if nobody cares?"
"Well, if we didn't care, then why would we have told her 'ourselves' that Ron has amnesia! We could have let you tell her, but we cared enough to do it ourselves!"
"Yeah, but you left her right after you told her! She was in emotional distress! How could you have just left her there, not caring about how she could have felt AFTER you told her, eh? You guys 'supposedly' cared enough to tell her, but didn't care enough to comfort her about it!"
"We told her, that's what you were there for!"
"Well yeah? It seems as if I'm the only one that really loves her then, considering I'm the only one that came to visit her. Both of you must be horrible brothers right now! You wouldn't even visit your own sister when she was hospitalized!"
"You love her? Of course you love her, you're her friend! And we love her too! That why we told her about Ron's amnesia incident."
"You two simpletons just don't get it, do you? I love Ginny, but not like you two do. I LOVE her. I'd do anything for her. I'd go to the end of the universe and back just to make sure she's happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, take care of her, and love her until I die. You know what happened today? I was going to tell her I loved her, to tell her I couldn't live without her. And now she probably hates me, because she thought I was acting just like you! And it hurt like bloody hell, and it will never stop hurting! A hole has just been ripped open inside of me, and now it will never be closed. THAT is what it's like to care about someone, you prats!"
And then, the crowd noticed me. They made a little path to the center, where Colin, Fred, and George stood. Fred and George's faces were beat red, and Colin's was a little flustered with heat. And then he looked over in my direction and saw me.
"Ginny?! Oh Ginny." He ran up and embraced me with all his might. It was nice to feel the warmth of his body. I tentatively put my arms around him, excepting him. He stroked my hair as he pulled me in tighter.
"I love you, Ginny, and I never want to let you go." At that point he pulled away ever so slightly, and he tilted my chin to look into my eyes. A huge, cold shiver ran down my spine, the look in his eyes was so promising. And then came the silence. The whole crowd was waiting for my response. Well, it's time to admit it. Not only to myself, but also to the entire Gryffindor House.
"I love you too, Colin."
~*~*~*~*~*~
I awoke with a start a couple of hours after I went to bed. I looked at my wristwatch once more. 'Get back to sleep.' Well, that was impossible. Even if that hole was filled late this evening, the hole that I thought never could be filled, to be enticed by a beautiful slumber was the only thing not working for me now. Well, besides that and all of the issues still to work out with my brothers and my friends. But with Colin on my side, I knew that I could do anything. So, I looked at my muggle wristwatch, and it read 11:30 PM. Okay, so I guess I could stay up about another half an hour reading. That's about all I could take this late at night anyway.
So I made my way down to the Common Room, book in hand, when I set my eyes on two three shadowy figures. One was on the ground, and two were towering over it.
"Lumos."
I cast the light over the three figures, and then I dropped my wand on the stairs, screaming. The hole had been ripped wide open again, and it would never, ever be repaired.. ever. And then, I flipped open my book to the poem I had read earlier, and reread the last two lines again in horror..
Because the day that I tell you, Is the day I'll be dying.
There, lying dead on the floor, was Colin.
Author's Note: Thankfully this chapter was longer than the previous one! Trust me, the chapters following this will be even longer if I can actually continue to develop the plot, I promise you that! Please review; if you do, I'll love you forever! ^_~
A warning to everyone who has read this chapter: If you are not a fan of sad stories, I suggest not continuing to read this. This will gradually get more depressing and sadder. If you do like these stories though, I suggest in the future after reading a chapter or two, that you read some extremely fluffy fic. I seriously cried when Cedric died in the fourth book, and I think I'm going to cry in some parts while writing this fic. But, I'm a softy, and this probably might not affect you at all. Just a warning though, you do not have to take it seriously ^_~
Zulu
P.S. I also love feedback ^_~
Oh, and something else! I already love one person forever! I only have one review, isn't that pretty sad? I must not be doing well enough, or I just need to do something drastic. perfect! I've got the whole thing planned out!
Chapter 4
"So, Harry, you're telling me that Mr. Creevey took aura pictures of Ginny? How fascinating! I'm still trying to absorb all of what you've said so far, so if you could give me a minute."
"Sure thing, Albus, I'm still trying to recall all of the details myself, so a little break would be rather sufficient."
"Well now that that's settled, would you like to take a break and get a little lunch? I know this has to be hard on you, Harry."
"You're right again, it's very hard. especially, you know, because of."
"Yes, I'm well aware, Harry. No words need to be spoken on that. I'm sure it's hard enough as it is. So, would you like to get some lunch?"
"Yes, I'm sure that would do some good. Three Broomsticks sound good to you?"
"Absolutely perfect."
With a pop, Harry and Professor Dumbledore landed at the entrance to the Three Broomsticks, where a large crowd had gathered. Heads turned as some people noticed two new strangers had merged into the crowd. When sighted, most people parted when they saw Harry, and some bowed and backed away slowly.
"I wonder what all the racket's about, Albus?"
As if to answer Harry's question, one brave bystander had found his voice and shouted, "Hey, it's Harry Potter. He's come to save us all for the last time! Bless you, Harry Potter!"
Harry began to hear murmuring voices from the people who were shoved violently out of the way without knowing why they had made a path splitting the crowd in two. Now they knew the answer and were eagerly stepping backward, giving Harry a full view of a sign posted to the window of the Three Broomsticks.
Without hesitation, Harry walked through the part in the crowd. A big sign with bold letters became clearer as he neared. He stopped and read, and then the color drained from his face and his eyes widened in shock.
"Albus, it's getting worse."
"Yes, Harry, I believe so. And if this isn't warning enough, then I'm afraid things will only get gradually worse."
As if he couldn't believe it, Harry read the sign over again to himself.
Attention! You-know-who is back on the prowl and everyone has to keep a lookout. Hide everything dear to you, because it seems that he has a new method of attacking people. So far, 13 people have been killed by sneak attacks, and sadly, as stated in the Daily Prophet, 1 has been killed over a period of five years. Miss Weasley's death was the start of a new reign of evil to be cast upon the wizarding world. As we all continue to panic, hope rises as the form of Mr. Harry Potter, and all pray that he will save us once again. Our thanks to you, Harry, for protecting us for all these years. Hopefully you will continue to do the same for us. Regards to you, we hope you can get rid of him once and for all.
"Harry, it's going to be difficult, but I think that you are ready. You've been ready since your first year at Hogwarts. It has been long since, and you've only gotten stronger. You're one of the most powerful Aurors we know, and we all believe you'll do a fine job. Now, let's get you something to eat before you feint from shock."
As Dumbledore guided Harry into the Three Broomsticks, solemn faces were worn by the many customers, and some gave a gentle, soft applause as he entered. Obviously these people were mortifyed that Voldemort was back, and some were appreciative that Harry was still alive to defend them.
They sat down at an empty table, and Madame Rosemerta greeted both of them warmly.
"What can I get for you two?"
"I'll have a butterbeer, Harry, what will you have?"
"I think I'll have a butterbeer also, and maybe a sandwich."
"The usual?"
"Yeah, that will do."
"I'll be right on it for you."
Harry twirled the straw in the glass of water that had been set before him. He watched as the ice twirled and danced around the edges. As of this point, Harry would do anything than have to tell another detail of the story.
"So, Harry, shall we continue with our discussion?"
"Um. sure, I think I'm ready now. From then on, things just kept getting worse."
(A/N: Ginny's POV once again, folks!)
It feels so good to be out of the Hospital Wing again! I feel like I've been isolated so long that I don't have a clue what's going on anymore, like no one seems familiar. But, even having Potions first thing in the morning is better than spending one more day in that overly clean white room.
True, my leg is still a little wobbly, and I have a bandage over the wound in my head. Everything seems to be okay other than that. Well, except for the fact that the first class I return to is Potions. And except for the fact that Ron has amnesia. And maybe except for the fact that I'm still raving mad at Fred and George, for me not taking it 'seriously' enough. Other than that, everything seems to be okay.
So I guess everything's not okay. Big deal? I still have plenty of other things that I can look forward to.
Like. um. let's see. Okay, I should know at least one.
Okay, just because I can't think of something good that's happened doesn't mean I have nothing to look forward to or to be excited about. It's just; I have nothing right now, which doesn't surprise me with the way things have been going for me lately. And hopefully this will be the end of it.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I took my usual seat in the back of the class where I could be undisturbed and not be called on. I've figured out the way Snape likes to embarrass people. He usually picks on people in front, because he can actually see the result of their potions. And he calls on people in the back that don't look like they're paying attention, and finds some way to humiliate them. Or, he just calls on students he hates in particular. So, I figure, if I didn't make him hate me, and if I sat behind someone tall and made it appear as if I were paying attention, I wouldn't get that much grief from him. Colin, on the other hand, has to deal with it every time we have Potions. I really do feel sorry for him.
Well. I guess today will be my ultra lucky day. I spotted a slip of paper lying on the table. Whenever Snape does this it means that he won't be talking for about ten minutes into class. He just wants us to get working right away. So I guess today won't be so bad after all.
"All right, now that everyone is here, I'm going to put you all into groups." And I could tell be the malevolent look on his face that today, after all, would NOT be a good day for a Potions class. And then I had the audacity to look at the slip of paper on the table. We were making a truth potion, how lovely. Well, at least it was nothing as strong as Veritaseram, I guess that could be the only thing worse. Well, the only thing worse would be to be paired up with a Slytherin, and that would not be a good thing at all.
Of course, what was I thinking when I though I 'wouldn't' be paired up with a Slytherin? I didn't know her name, but just the way she looked made me want to cower in fear. Good thing I didn't too, or she might've pounded my face in.
The potion took the majority of the class to brew, and there were only about ten minutes left when it was done. Thankfully the girl I was paired up with cooperated for the most part. When Snape came around I pretended that I was so concentrated on stirring the potion that I didn't have the time or effort to look at him. But, what happened was very un- Snape like. He complimented us on our work, saying that the potion looked like it should, and that it should be strong. But.. the scary part was when an evil smirked brewed on his face.
We were testing the potions.
"Now, at precisely this time your potions should be ready. I'm going to pick one person from each group and have them test it. I do have antidotes for any possible things that could go wrong, so you can STOP waving your pudgy little hand in the air, Neville! Now, if I may continue, these people will be testing the potions. (A/N: Forgive me, but I'm just making up some last names right about now! Most of these people play soccer, and I doubt they'll ever read this, so oh well.) Abernathy, Bondi, Creevey, Farkas, McDougal, McNair, Moore, Primmer, and Stalter. Now, all of you whose names have NOT been called are to ask the other person questions, and if it works, you should know a LOT more about the other person than you ever intended to. Enjoy." And with that, Snape flicked his cloak and turned back to sit at his desk and watch half of the students writhe in pain just from the fact that they were testing it. Thank God I was not one of them.
"Okay, so how much of this potion do I need to take?" This had been the first question with a hint of politeness I've heard out of my partner all of class. She made me want to just ask her menacingly awful questions. But, she was polite about this. It still doesn't make up for her harsh attitude earlier, but I guess just some mediocre questions will suffice.
"You need to take exactly 2 teaspoons."
"Okay, so measure it out, will you? I haven't got all day, you know."
Okay, take back what I said earlier. After all, Snape does set a good example on how to be wickedly cruel to others. This will be the only time in my entire LIFE that I'll ever say this but..
Here's to you, Professor Snape!
I watched her shove it down her throat as if it were poison, and I bet it sure tasted like it, considering the things we needed to put in there. It definitely didn't seem like it would taste like sweets.
About thirty seconds later, her eyes attained a glossy sheen. She also had a blank stare on her face and she obviously wasn't blinking, so I guess the potion had already taken affect.
"So, which last name was yours that Snape called earlier?"
"McNair."
"Aren't your parents Death Eaters?"
"Yes. My dad is. At one point he tried to kill my mom under Voldemort's orders. Then I hadn't seen him in a while, I'm guessing he fled after the Dark Lord was defeated. But he's been back ever since the Triwizard Tournament."
"I see." Okay, this is freaky. What am I supposed to ask? Her parent's are death eaters for crying out loud! Should I see if You-Know- Who has anything planned? I could save countless lives. I'm not sure about this, but my gut feeling says go with it.
"So, has your dad talked about any plans involving the Dark Lord?"
"No."
Phew, good, okay, so now a huge bundle of grief just rose from my chest. It seems Voldemort hasn't planned anything.. yet.
"But, there is something." And there it goes, folks. My heart just sank into oblivion.
"What is it?"
"Well, I was reading my father's journal. I know not most men keep one, but, my father has one in his 'supposedly' secret lair I found in my fifth year. It seems that the Dark Lord is planning something. Just recently he wrote that a sixth year Gryffindor was about to be attacked, and they wouldn't, or couldn't see it coming. He also wrote that they were planning to bring her over to their side and make them powerful. But, if they refused, they would be killed."
Make it stop, make it stop! A sixth year. Gryffindor? I want to just forget it, forget it ever happened. Damn, why did I have to ask? Okay, from now on, I'll never ever rely on my gut instincts again! I can't trust them, and now, I have to beware of any other sixth year Gryffindors. I don't want to endanger myself; it would just be too risky.
"Okay, on the table now should be a vile with the antidote to the CORRECT potion made. Neville, you already got your antidote, so just. oh just wait until class is over. And DON'T touch anything! Force feed your partner the antidote, under the affects of the potion they will not and cannot take the potion themselves."
So I force fed her the antidote. It wasn't hard, really, because she had her mouth wide open. She resembled a gorilla, really. Her breath reeked of acid. That potion must really have been awful.
She instantly cocked her head to the rightful position, and her eyes snapped back into place. Alas, sleeping beauty had been snapped out of her revere.
"So, what did I say?"
Oh shit, the potion causes memory lapses too? How can I tell her that she just spilled what was probably her most intimate secret? Especially one that could get her father sent to Azkaban?
Oh, thank. thank everything in the world! Class is over! I don't think I've ever made a break for it that fast in my lifetime. Everything was so awful. A sixth year in danger and unaware of it? Voldemort. back? I could feel a lump rising within my throat; this was just too much to take in all at once. Someone is in serious danger.
~*~*~*~*~*~
The rest of my classes were a joke. I couldn't even pay attention in my favorite class, charms, let alone Transfiguration and Arithmancy. I acted spaced out, like I didn't know which way was up. And the sad part was I knew I was like that, but didn't do anything to help concentrate any harder. Voldemort. he's back, he's ACTUALLY back. Who's he after, what does he want? Everything is a blur. A part of me is celebrating that class ended right when things were getting horrible, but some of me wanted to find out more about what's going on. I'm sure there has to be more than. what ever her name is said. There has to be. There's got to be a plan involved. Maybe he's trying a different approach? Maybe he's going to kill someone. like she said they wouldn't even know he was coming. I'm so afraid for everyone, and I guess I can't leave out myself. But if even my own 'family' doesn't think I'm important, who will? Surely Voldemort can't be after me, because even my friends are starting to ignore me also. And if they don't pay attention to me, surely he can't be after me as well. I'm insignificant, which could be a good thing in this whole ordeal. I mean, what would he want with me?
I couldn't possibly go to dinner that night. I felt that if I actually ate something, it would just come right back up, and that wouldn't be a pretty mess to clean up. My stomach wasn't settled the way it was, so, why would food help it? Like everything and everyone else, it would just want to purge itself away out of my life. There is an empty hole that surely no one else could possibly feel, that no one else could possibly detect, that no one else could possibly have. The hole 'is' me, and alas, there is nothing in the world that could fill it. Hell, there was no one or nothing that would want to fill it. I've already gotten the hint that no one wants to be around me. It seems the only person there for me anymore is Colin. And still, he alone is not enough to fill it. There will always be an empty feeling inside of me that no one. what's the word. Ah, yes, that no one loves me. Not the kind of love that's shared between siblings, or shared between the best of friends. The kind that I'll never experience. The kind where someone would go to the depths of the Earth and back for you, the kind that's unexplainable. the kind that's. that's just there. The kind that is unbreakable. The kind that I long to share with Harry someday, if he ever returns my feelings. The kind, if I'm actually going to admit it to myself, that I could actually picture sharing with Colin. But, that's just absurd, so maybe it's not possible. Yet, that annoying little voice in my head says not to give up hope on that just yet.
~*~*~*~*~*~
So, instead of going to dinner, and have 'inner conflicts' about what my true emotions and feelings were, I decided to just head back up to the common room to do what I do best. read some muggle poetry.
Maybe there were some wizard poets, some that maybe I've never heard of. It wouldn't hurt to ask my muggle studies teacher. Hmm. maybe I'll do that tomorrow. But I think I'll just start reading now, and help me take my mind off of absolutely everything. Off of Voldemort, off of Harry, off of Colin, my family and my friends. But this was no way to fill the hole my entire life.
This poem. it's beautiful, and yet so sad.
(A/N: This poem was written by me, so please, be nice! Because, I know for a fact it's not as beautiful as Ginny thought it was, so please, at least 'try' to be nice!)
I've never told you I loved you, But I'm still trying. To hold onto you so, As if you were crying. And now as I think of you, I'm heavily sighing. Because the day that I tell you, Is the day I'll be dying.
~*~*~*~*~*~
I heard the Portrait Hole open, but I didn't look up to see who it was. Whoever it was probably didn't want my company anyway, seemingly wanting to be alone if they skipped dinner to come 'here.' And, if they actually did want to talk to her, she was busy, because obviously they didn't want to talk to her while she was being hospitalized.
I heard little shuffling steps, something that maybe only a young, nervous first year would attain, being at a new school and all. So, I ignored them, because a first year would definitely have no interest in talking to me.
"Um. Ginny, could I possibly talk to you about something. uh. important? If you're too busy though, I'll understand."
That voice. it was Colin's voice. Of course I have time for you, Colin!
"Sure! What did you want to talk about?"
"Well. how are you feeling? You're not blacking out, or having any stomach illness or headaches are you?"
"Nope! I've been feeling just fine!"
"Are you sure? Would you like me to get anything for you? A glass of water maybe? I know you weren't at dinner, so maybe you're thirsty."
And before I could say 'No, Colin, I'm fine, thanks, you don't have to do anything for me,' he was out of there.
(A/N: Colin's POV)
God, I didn't think this would be too hard. I mean, what was I thinking when my entire plan was to go up there and say, 'Ginny, I love you.' Really, You think that'd NOT be difficult. But, I guess it's harder than it seems in those muggle movies nowadays. Gees, the media is NOT the thing to turn to when in need of crisis solving. Actually, it's the LAST place ANYONE should look to for love advice. Of course, I would've never relied on myself for answers either, because I'm no love expert, nor will I ever be.
But how do I tell her? How to I ease into it? I mean, nothing ever comes easily to me, especially telling Ginny how I feel. I can't just waltz back into the Common Room and say 'so, weather's nice, isn't it?' That is virtually the lamest line in the book. It's been done, and it's old, and worthless, for another point. I just want her to know how much I care about her. I want her to know about how much I need her, how much I want to be with her.
'Well, dimwit, how about you tell her that.'
"Tell her what?"
'That you can't live without her. You know, all of the stuff that you just thought of.'
"Do you honestly think that would work?"
'Well, it wouldn't hurt to try. Plus, it wouldn't help beating around the bush anyway.'
"True."
'So?'
"So what?"
'So what are you waiting for? Go tell her..NOW!'
"Now?"
'Yes now, I'm sick of hearing you mope about how you love her, yet she doesn't know! Honestly, you'd be a lot happier if she just. knew.'
"Honestly?"
'Really Colin, how many times do you lie to yourself?'
"I guess it wouldn't hurt."
'There you go! Now on with it, before she decides to go to dinner.'
"All right already! There's no need to be pushy about it."
I climbed back through the hole, and saw Ginny reading once more. she was so beautiful. now how am I going to say this to her?
(A/N: Ginny's POV)
"Oh, hey Colin. Do you have my glass of water?"
"Water?"
"Yeah, you said you were going to get a glass of water for me. But if you didn't, that's fine. I'm not very thirsty anyway."
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry Gin! I didn't get you a glass of water. if you'd like me to I'd be happy to go and get you."
"No, no Colin, don't, it's fine! But, if you don't mind me asking, where were you for about three minutes anyway?"
"Well, to be honest, I was pretty much stalling."
"Stalling? What were you stalling. talking to me?"
"Well. sort of."
"Great! This is just great! First my family ignores me when I'm hospitalized, and my friends have turned against me. Now, here I sit thinking that the only person I have left is you, and you don't even want to talk to me! What, when you came in here did you just feel obliged to talk to me? Is that it? Just because I was sitting here all alone being 'pathetic little Ginny' you felt like you were doing a good deed by paying me some attention? That's it! There must be something wrong with me! What is it Colin, what is it? Am I just not good enough for the rest of you?"
"No, Ginny, it's not like that at all."
"Oh don't lie to me, Colin! That's the last thing I want. are your lies. To tell you the truth, I'd rather be alone then be fed some sympathy lines! Please, I'm not someone you can just toss around for kicks and giggles. I'm a real person Colin, a real person! And lately, not you or anyone else for that matter have seemed to comprehend it! Well, that's it! I thought I really did need someone to love me, someone to really care. But now that I see that there will never be anyone, I just want to be alone. Now, just leave me alone."
And then I did the only thing that felt sensible to me. I ran up to my dormitory, and I cried into my pillow. The truth was, I really didn't want to be alone. I truly wanted someone to love me, someone who'd love me like no other. But it seems that not even Colin, someone whom I'd considered wouldn't be so horrible. am even seriously thinking about spending the rest of my life with, doesn't even care about me anymore. He's acting just like the others. like he doesn't care about me anymore, like he wants nothing to do with me. It's so selfish of him! I can't believe he'd act like that, of all people!
'Well, if you think about it, Gin, you're the one being selfish here.'
"Yeah right. If anything, it's Colin who's being selfish!"
'Now, why do you say that?'
"Because he's treating me just like all the others have."
'Oh really, so he didn't come visit you in the Hospital Wing?'
"Well. he did do that. But he was stalling to talk to me! He didn't even want to talk to me in the first place!"
'If he didn't want to talk to you in the first place, then why did he ask you if you could spare a couple of minutes?'
"Because Colin's. well. he's just polite like that. He's Colin."
'Okay, think of this then. Did he actually say that he didn't care about you?'
"No, but who would say that?"
'What if he had something else to say, but couldn't find a way to say it?'
"Like what? I couldn't think of one thing that someone would have a hard time saying to someone else."
'How about the thing you've been even to afraid to admit to yourself?'
"Come now, that's absolutely ridiculous!"
'Oh really? Then why do you subconsciously agree to it more everyday?'
"That's preposterous! I do NOT think about it everyday!"
'Oh, but you do. I can tell be the way you're getting flustered.'
"I do NOT!"
'Really, you will thank this part of your subconscious mind one day for telling you to admit it when you finally do.'
"Admit what?"
'Oh, you know what I'm talking about.'
"Okay. fine. if it will make you happy!"
'Oh trust me, it will make you happy too.'
"Do I have to?"
'Just do it.'
"."
'.'
"I love Colin."
~*~*~*~*~*~
I must've slept through the rest of dinner, because when I looked at my wristwatch it read 'time to read some more on a full stomach.' I love wizard watches. All those other muggle watches tell you is the time it is in the muggle world. How boring is that? I could also hear loud voices coming from downstairs. This was also a dead giveaway that it was past dinner. But, why were the voices this loud. and, only three distinct ones could be heard. What was it.
Arguing.
But who was arguing? Whoever it was was in a really loud and infuriating row. It sounded like they were really mad at each other. So, being the naturally curious person that I am, I ventured down the stairs slowly, and made my way to the edge of the crowd that had formed. And then. oh my God. Fred and George and.. Colin were fighting!
"What do you mean, we don't care for our sister?!"
"You both have really upset her! Can't you see that she's feeling lonely, being treated as if nobody cares?"
"Well, if we didn't care, then why would we have told her 'ourselves' that Ron has amnesia! We could have let you tell her, but we cared enough to do it ourselves!"
"Yeah, but you left her right after you told her! She was in emotional distress! How could you have just left her there, not caring about how she could have felt AFTER you told her, eh? You guys 'supposedly' cared enough to tell her, but didn't care enough to comfort her about it!"
"We told her, that's what you were there for!"
"Well yeah? It seems as if I'm the only one that really loves her then, considering I'm the only one that came to visit her. Both of you must be horrible brothers right now! You wouldn't even visit your own sister when she was hospitalized!"
"You love her? Of course you love her, you're her friend! And we love her too! That why we told her about Ron's amnesia incident."
"You two simpletons just don't get it, do you? I love Ginny, but not like you two do. I LOVE her. I'd do anything for her. I'd go to the end of the universe and back just to make sure she's happy. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, take care of her, and love her until I die. You know what happened today? I was going to tell her I loved her, to tell her I couldn't live without her. And now she probably hates me, because she thought I was acting just like you! And it hurt like bloody hell, and it will never stop hurting! A hole has just been ripped open inside of me, and now it will never be closed. THAT is what it's like to care about someone, you prats!"
And then, the crowd noticed me. They made a little path to the center, where Colin, Fred, and George stood. Fred and George's faces were beat red, and Colin's was a little flustered with heat. And then he looked over in my direction and saw me.
"Ginny?! Oh Ginny." He ran up and embraced me with all his might. It was nice to feel the warmth of his body. I tentatively put my arms around him, excepting him. He stroked my hair as he pulled me in tighter.
"I love you, Ginny, and I never want to let you go." At that point he pulled away ever so slightly, and he tilted my chin to look into my eyes. A huge, cold shiver ran down my spine, the look in his eyes was so promising. And then came the silence. The whole crowd was waiting for my response. Well, it's time to admit it. Not only to myself, but also to the entire Gryffindor House.
"I love you too, Colin."
~*~*~*~*~*~
I awoke with a start a couple of hours after I went to bed. I looked at my wristwatch once more. 'Get back to sleep.' Well, that was impossible. Even if that hole was filled late this evening, the hole that I thought never could be filled, to be enticed by a beautiful slumber was the only thing not working for me now. Well, besides that and all of the issues still to work out with my brothers and my friends. But with Colin on my side, I knew that I could do anything. So, I looked at my muggle wristwatch, and it read 11:30 PM. Okay, so I guess I could stay up about another half an hour reading. That's about all I could take this late at night anyway.
So I made my way down to the Common Room, book in hand, when I set my eyes on two three shadowy figures. One was on the ground, and two were towering over it.
"Lumos."
I cast the light over the three figures, and then I dropped my wand on the stairs, screaming. The hole had been ripped wide open again, and it would never, ever be repaired.. ever. And then, I flipped open my book to the poem I had read earlier, and reread the last two lines again in horror..
Because the day that I tell you, Is the day I'll be dying.
There, lying dead on the floor, was Colin.
Author's Note: Thankfully this chapter was longer than the previous one! Trust me, the chapters following this will be even longer if I can actually continue to develop the plot, I promise you that! Please review; if you do, I'll love you forever! ^_~
A warning to everyone who has read this chapter: If you are not a fan of sad stories, I suggest not continuing to read this. This will gradually get more depressing and sadder. If you do like these stories though, I suggest in the future after reading a chapter or two, that you read some extremely fluffy fic. I seriously cried when Cedric died in the fourth book, and I think I'm going to cry in some parts while writing this fic. But, I'm a softy, and this probably might not affect you at all. Just a warning though, you do not have to take it seriously ^_~
Zulu