The Long Summer 10
Xander rolled his head around, trying to loosen up his neck muscles. He took a bite out of the sandwich that was packed into the lunch box and ignored the reckless little voice in the back of his mind that teased him about enjoying Spike's cooking. It was a sandwich, he told himself firmly. Doesn't matter who made it.
"Xander." The voice was so close to him, he almost crawled up onto the hood of the truck to escape it. A combination of bread, roast beef and cheddar cheese lodged in his throat, cutting off his air supply.
Wide-eyed, he swung his gaze to see Buffy staring at him with a small frown. He pounded his fist against his chest and tried to swallow the lump of sandwich, but it stubbornly refused to move. As though sensing his distress, Buffy pounded on his back and he coughed, sending the bit of sandwich flying.
"Ow." Xander wheezed. "Don't do that." Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes and he turned his back to retrieve the thermos. There was enough coffee still inside that he could knock some back and sooth his aching throat.
"Sorry." Buffy offered sheepishly, leaning against the hood of the truck. "I thought you heard me walking up."
"No." Xander shook his head, regaining his composure. He took another bite out of the sandwich and chewed it with determination. It was a waste of a good sandwich to choke on it like that. "I didn't." He said around the mouthful.
"So I gathered." Buffy folded her arms and put on adult-Buffy the expression she often seemed to save for Dawn. "Sooooo -" She drew out the word. "How are you?"
"Good." Xander replied around another mouthful, flipping through the construction chart and making a few check marks here and there. "You?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Sort of wondering why one of my best friends is treating me like a leper, but otherwise good."
Xander glanced up from the clipboard and met her gaze for the first time. He swallowed the bite that now tasted like sandpaper and shrugged his shoulders. "I've been busy."
"Too busy to return a phone call?" Buffy sounded skeptical. "Especially after the other night?"
"Hey, you took care of it, didn't you?" Xander deferred. "Besides, it's been crazy. They've got us on a killer schedule here. Lots to do before the end of the month."
"Uh huh." She wasn't buying. "What's wrong, Xander?"
"Nothing, Buffy. You know, people don't have to have something wrong to be busy. It's not always about the end of the world or your friends skinning other people or even making nice with sexual Olympics and dead guys." His tone twisted harshly on the last and he bit down hard on another piece of sandwich to shut himself up.
"I thought we were friends." Buffy said quietly.
"We are friends." Xander washed down the mouthful and finally forced himself to look at her. He felt guilty immediately at the concern sheltered in her blue eyes. How many years had he waited to see more than loving friendship and concern in those depths? How many years had he been shoved aside for some super powerful freak or - well, poster boy for super boy scout?
"Then why won't you tell me what is wrong?"
"Because maybe you don't want to know." Xander answered.
"I'm here now."
"And later you'll be busy. Look, Buff - it's already been a long year. You and Dawn - you guys need to work on you. I just need some time to figure me back out again." He sighed. It sounded lame, even to him. "And I do have a lot of work to do."
"On the hellmouth."
Xander shrugged. "It's all the same to me. It pays the bills. It keeps me too busy to think."
"This is of the good?" She sounded entirely too skeptical.
"Yeah, it's of the good. At least right now." He looked down at the hood of his car and finished off the last bit of sandwich. It was good, despite the lump in his throat. "When I want to talk, I will call you. Okay?"
"Promise?"
"You want it in blood?" Xander's tone cruised harsh once more. "I just said I'd call."
Buffy sighed. There was so much discomfort between them. He stole a glance at her profile. She was staring at the construction sight. He found himself wondering what was going through her head. Was she thinking about the first time she walked up the steps to Sunnydale? Or maybe the many nights they slaved over books in the library? Better yet, the night she found Kendra's body and Xander thought he'd lost Willow, too.
Pain blossomed in his chest and he savagely pushed the thoughts aside.
"Gotta get back to work." He tried for light. "Give the Dawnie a smoochie for me, okay?"
He shoved the remnants of his lunch back into the box and then tossed all of it into the front of the car. Seizing up the clipboard, he all but ran back toward the site.
"Xander?"
He halted at her voice and looked back over his shoulder. She was sliding her sunglasses down to shield her eyes and waved her hand at him. He lifted his hand in casual wave and then moved with more purpose to where the guys were starting to drift back to work. He ignored the catcalls and whistles that followed him, since plenty had watched his interaction with the beautiful blonde.
"We're going to start laying in the concrete along the sides, boys." Xander said in a voice that was surprisingly steady. "Let's get moving, sooner done the sooner we're outta here." They were all for that and Xander tossed one more glance over his shoulder before heading down into the pit.
Buffy was gone.
Just like he'd wanted, right?
Xander rolled his head around, trying to loosen up his neck muscles. He took a bite out of the sandwich that was packed into the lunch box and ignored the reckless little voice in the back of his mind that teased him about enjoying Spike's cooking. It was a sandwich, he told himself firmly. Doesn't matter who made it.
"Xander." The voice was so close to him, he almost crawled up onto the hood of the truck to escape it. A combination of bread, roast beef and cheddar cheese lodged in his throat, cutting off his air supply.
Wide-eyed, he swung his gaze to see Buffy staring at him with a small frown. He pounded his fist against his chest and tried to swallow the lump of sandwich, but it stubbornly refused to move. As though sensing his distress, Buffy pounded on his back and he coughed, sending the bit of sandwich flying.
"Ow." Xander wheezed. "Don't do that." Tears leaked from the corners of his eyes and he turned his back to retrieve the thermos. There was enough coffee still inside that he could knock some back and sooth his aching throat.
"Sorry." Buffy offered sheepishly, leaning against the hood of the truck. "I thought you heard me walking up."
"No." Xander shook his head, regaining his composure. He took another bite out of the sandwich and chewed it with determination. It was a waste of a good sandwich to choke on it like that. "I didn't." He said around the mouthful.
"So I gathered." Buffy folded her arms and put on adult-Buffy the expression she often seemed to save for Dawn. "Sooooo -" She drew out the word. "How are you?"
"Good." Xander replied around another mouthful, flipping through the construction chart and making a few check marks here and there. "You?"
"Oh, I'm fine. Sort of wondering why one of my best friends is treating me like a leper, but otherwise good."
Xander glanced up from the clipboard and met her gaze for the first time. He swallowed the bite that now tasted like sandpaper and shrugged his shoulders. "I've been busy."
"Too busy to return a phone call?" Buffy sounded skeptical. "Especially after the other night?"
"Hey, you took care of it, didn't you?" Xander deferred. "Besides, it's been crazy. They've got us on a killer schedule here. Lots to do before the end of the month."
"Uh huh." She wasn't buying. "What's wrong, Xander?"
"Nothing, Buffy. You know, people don't have to have something wrong to be busy. It's not always about the end of the world or your friends skinning other people or even making nice with sexual Olympics and dead guys." His tone twisted harshly on the last and he bit down hard on another piece of sandwich to shut himself up.
"I thought we were friends." Buffy said quietly.
"We are friends." Xander washed down the mouthful and finally forced himself to look at her. He felt guilty immediately at the concern sheltered in her blue eyes. How many years had he waited to see more than loving friendship and concern in those depths? How many years had he been shoved aside for some super powerful freak or - well, poster boy for super boy scout?
"Then why won't you tell me what is wrong?"
"Because maybe you don't want to know." Xander answered.
"I'm here now."
"And later you'll be busy. Look, Buff - it's already been a long year. You and Dawn - you guys need to work on you. I just need some time to figure me back out again." He sighed. It sounded lame, even to him. "And I do have a lot of work to do."
"On the hellmouth."
Xander shrugged. "It's all the same to me. It pays the bills. It keeps me too busy to think."
"This is of the good?" She sounded entirely too skeptical.
"Yeah, it's of the good. At least right now." He looked down at the hood of his car and finished off the last bit of sandwich. It was good, despite the lump in his throat. "When I want to talk, I will call you. Okay?"
"Promise?"
"You want it in blood?" Xander's tone cruised harsh once more. "I just said I'd call."
Buffy sighed. There was so much discomfort between them. He stole a glance at her profile. She was staring at the construction sight. He found himself wondering what was going through her head. Was she thinking about the first time she walked up the steps to Sunnydale? Or maybe the many nights they slaved over books in the library? Better yet, the night she found Kendra's body and Xander thought he'd lost Willow, too.
Pain blossomed in his chest and he savagely pushed the thoughts aside.
"Gotta get back to work." He tried for light. "Give the Dawnie a smoochie for me, okay?"
He shoved the remnants of his lunch back into the box and then tossed all of it into the front of the car. Seizing up the clipboard, he all but ran back toward the site.
"Xander?"
He halted at her voice and looked back over his shoulder. She was sliding her sunglasses down to shield her eyes and waved her hand at him. He lifted his hand in casual wave and then moved with more purpose to where the guys were starting to drift back to work. He ignored the catcalls and whistles that followed him, since plenty had watched his interaction with the beautiful blonde.
"We're going to start laying in the concrete along the sides, boys." Xander said in a voice that was surprisingly steady. "Let's get moving, sooner done the sooner we're outta here." They were all for that and Xander tossed one more glance over his shoulder before heading down into the pit.
Buffy was gone.
Just like he'd wanted, right?