"I don't wanna."
I laughed at Tom's stuck out lip, he was so cute when he pouted. Those pleading blue eyes were dangerous though, I'd learnt to stay away from their talents. "Tom, I have to work."
"I can help ya work, Kotay!" he smiled at me, "I'll watch all the people on the bridge an' you can do your PADDs and stuff."
Sighing, I rounded the corner, "Tom, you can't come on the bridge today."
"Why not?" he demanded, folding his arms.
"Just because."
"Dumb reason." Tom mumbled under his breath.
"Commander?"
I turned around to see Ensign Harrison smiling brightly at me, "Yes, Ensign?" I replied, switching to 'Commander mode'.
However, the 'Commander mode' was completely ruined by Tom's loud, "Hiya, Jenny!" he wriggled out of my arms and looked up at Harrison, "Kotay's bein' mean to me this morning. Guess what?"
"What?" she laughed.
"He's makin' me stay with the Doctor."
The expression on Ensign Harrison's face was hilarious: she was obviously torn between the irresistible ministrations of Tom Paris and not wanting to say anything against her senior officer. Eventually she smiled gently at Tom, "I'm sure he has his reasons."
Tom let out a loud moan, "Growed ups are all the same." He stated firmly.
Trying not to grin too widely, I addressed Harrison, "What can I do for you, Ensign?"
"Well, I wanted to just show you some research I've been doing on enhancing the propulsion system, but if you're busy with Tom."
"He's not." Tom interrupted, eyes sparkling with the prospect of avoiding the Doc for a few precious minutes.
I laughed, "Tom, why don't you make your own way to sickbay?"
It was possible to see every single escape scenario running through Tom's small mind as he considered that suggestion. A slow smile spread across his face and I knew he'd latched onto the escape haven of the holodeck, "Sure, Kotay." He turned on his heel and began walking down the corridor.
"Hey, Cadet!" I called, making him turn around, "This is an official assignment from your commanding officer. I wouldn't want there to be anything bad on your record."
Tom pouted yet again and stormed off in the direction of sickbay.
*** "Hi!" Tom said brightly, catching up to the tall man in front of him, "I don't know you. I'm Tom."
"I know who you are." The man muttered, carrying straight on.
Tom blinked, then shrugged and caught up with him again, "Who are you?"
The man stopped and bent down to Tom's level, "Listen, Paris."
"Cool, you *do* know me then."
"There are some of us on this ship who *don't* like you. We don't like the grown up you, and we don't like the baby you. So stay out of my face." He snarled.
Tom frowned at the nasty man, "I haven't done nothing wrong!"
"Not yet you haven't, Paris. But you will, and we'll all hate you for it."
Shocked, Tom felt tears pricking the back of his eyes, but he shot back, "I'm not gonna do nothing wrong. An' even if I do, Kotay won't hate me!"
"He will." The man laughed evilly, "That's the ironic thing. *Kotay* will be the one who hates you the most!"
Tom stood, fixed to the spot by the man's cruel words. He managed to choke out a soft, "He won't."
"Then why does he drop you off at babysitters everyday? Because he hates having you around, Paris. He stays as late as he can at work every single day to avoid you. The only reason he's even letting you stay in his quarters is because he wants to get in favour with the Captain. You're nothing to him, Paris, in whatever form."
Watching the man walk away, Tom was torn, hurt and confused. What did he do now? His strongest instinct was to run into Chakotay's arms, but what if that man was right? His argument sounded pretty convincing. Tom stumbled forwards, on with his original path.
*** "You're finally here, are you?" The Doctor asked the small blonde exasperatedly, "Honestly, this is getting ridiculous. I'm a Doctor, not a babysitter. I shouldn't have to spend an inordinate amount of time watching a small child." he noticed the boy's forlorn expression and decided maybe he had been a little too harsh, ".who can obviously take care of himself."
Tom offered the Doc a small smile at the attempt and lay back on one of the biobeds, staring at the ceiling.
The Doctor frowned at the unusually subdued nine-year old, "Are you okay, Tom?"
"Fine." Tom said flatly, "I'm just tired, Doc."
"Oh. Okay then."
*** This sucked, Tom decided. He needed to get out somewhere where he could be on his own and think. It didn't help with the Doc asking him stuff every two seconds, he was trying to figure out why everything had suddenly taken a turn for the worse.
Tom supposed this should have been expected. Bad stuff always happened to him. Somehow, whenever things were good, the bad things weren't too far behind.
He looked towards the Doc, who was busy doing some medical thing Tom didn't understand properly. Sliding off the bed, Tom removed the Comm badge he had been assigned with and, dumping it on the biobed, headed out of sickbay.
*** "You WHAT!?"
"I can't be expected to keep my eye on him the whole time, I'm a Doctor, not a."
"You say that one more time and I swear I'll."
"Thank you, Doctor." Kathryn cut off the Comm link and turned to me, "Chakotay, it's okay."
"No, it's not! Tom could be anywhere!"
Kathryn dragged me down onto the sofa, and took my hand, "Tom has been out on his own before. He's nine-years old, he knows his way around the ship, he probably just wanted some time away from the Doctor- he's wanted that before."
"But he called me first!" I protested, "Maybe there's something wrong with him." I fretted, anything could happen to Tom! What if he had got lost and scared? What if he was hurt? I should have stayed with him.
Kathryn smiled at me in her Captainly way that always made me feel as though I was overreacting, like she could control anything in the universe. "Chakotay, how long can *you* stand being around the Doctor without taking a substantial break?"
I smiled a little, "Point taken. But I'm still worried about him." Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, "Can I take the day out to find him? I've got 34 people not wearing their Comm badge."
"Sure."
*** "Chakotay?"
I looked up to see Kathryn walking into my office with a frown on her face. I did not need a distraction, the location of Tom was still a mystery, and the pounding in my chest was increasing... "Oh, hi."
"You haven't located him yet?"
I shook my head, "We're down to 23 people who could be Tom- they're not wearing their Comm badges."
She shook her head, "Chakotay, sometimes you don't think with the powers of command." She tapped her Comm badge, "Janeway to all personnel- all crewmen not wearing their Comm badge- please put it on now for the next two minutes. Janeway out."
I smiled up at her, why do I never think of these things? I watched the number of lifeforms not wearing a Comm badge drop rapidly to just one. Why the hell hadn't I figured this out before?
The one place Tom Paris would go when he needed to be around familiar, liked surroundings?
Shuttle bay one.
*** "Cool." Tom breathed when he saw the shuttle. He ran his hand wondrously over the outer paint work, and came around to the entrance. Locked. He stood on his tiptoes and punched in a few random codes. To his surprise, it opened immediately to his usual privacy lock.
Tom walked into the shuttle and curled up in the orange pilot's chair. He let his mind go blank of everything else as he imagined what it would be like to fly that shuttle. He'd flown other shuttles with his Uncle, but nothing like this one. Tom bet that if he could design a shuttle, he'd design it just like this one. Except he'd have huge firing boosters on the side that shot out huge flames when they were switched on and launched you halfway across the galaxy. Yeah, that was the only change he would make. So he could fly anywhere he wanted.
*** Chakotay stormed into the shuttle bay and searched the room for the small blonde. The only shuttle that was lit up was the Delta Flyer, and he made his way quickly over to that one, ready to yell at the little boy who had caused him so much worry.
But the site he met with caused all his anger to fade away. A small nine- year old was snuggled up at the helm of what may as well be his shuttle, sleeping soundly. Chakotay noticed that Tom's thumb was tucked in his mouth, the little boy only did that when he felt scared and lonely. Sighing, Chakotay wandered over and lifted Tom up into his arms, sitting back down in the chair and arranging Tom in his embrace.
Tom snuffled a little and his troubled sapphire eyes opened. He looked up, "Oh, hey, Kotay." He whispered miserably.
Sighing again, Chakotay ran his hands though Tom's hair, knowing that there was something wrong with the child- he didn't need yelling at right now. He had honestly expected Tom to have run away from the Doctor on a search for the shuttles. He thought Tom would be ecstatic at finding this stash of the vehicles he loved so much. Chakotay stroked a hand across Tom's cheek, "Hi. Tom, do you want to tell me why you came here?"
Tom looked into Chakotay's eyes. What if that man was right? What if Kotay didn't want him around? That was probably why Kotay wasn't mad with him for running away, he was happy to be without Tom. But, still, that didn't explain why Kotay came after him. Maybe Kathy made him. Tom shrugged, "Just wanted to look around."
"Hey," Chakotay met the blonde's gaze, "I've known you long enough to know that there's something else beside your mischievous nature behind this. So, come on, spill."
Tom shrugged, "It's nothin', Kotay."
"Nothing?" Chakotay raised and eyebrow, "Tom, I'm here for you if there's anything you want to talk about. Anything, Tom, it doesn't matter."
"Anythin'?" Tom bit his lip. "Kotay, if I ask you somethin' would you answer honestly no matter what?"
"Yes." Chakotay said sincerely, "I don't lie, Tom."
Tom nodded, and asked quietly, "Kotay, do you hate me?"
"*Hate* you?" Chakotay blinked, reaching out to stroke Tom's hair, "NO! Tom, how have you reached that conclusion? I don't hate you, Tom. I could never hate you."
"P'omise?" Tom said softly.
"I promise!" Chakotay exclaimed, "Tell me what put this in your head."
Smiling with relief, Tom snuggled his way into Kotay's familiar chest. "A man told me." Tom said softly, "He said you hated me an' you only k'aftered me coz you wanted to look good to Captain Janey."
Chakotay's eyes widened and his voice took on an angry edge, "What? Who?" He saw Tom tremble a little at his anger and cursed himself for forgetting the blonde's sensitivity. "Honey, I'm not mad at you." He soothed softly, "I just want to get this guy. Do you know who he is?"
Tom shrugged, "I didn't know who he was."
"What did he look like?"
"Black hair, kinda tall." Tom said, "Kotay, can we just forget about it?"
Chakotay squeezed Tom to his chest, "Tom, this man said things about me that aren't true, things that hurt you. I want to discipline him so that he'll never ever come near you again."
Tom shrugged again, deciding to change the topic, "This shuttle's cool," he whispered, "It's the best one I've ever seen. I like it."
Smiling, Chakotay looked around at Tom's shuttle, "Yeah, I guess it is pretty 'you'."
"What's she called?" Tom breathed.
"The Delta Flyer."
"Cool. The Delta Flyer." Tom said admiringly, "Have you ever flied it?" Tom asked curiously, sitting so that he was still on Chakotay's lap, but gazing up into the older man's eyes, "Huh? Have you, Kotay? Can ya take me flying in it?"
Chakotay laughed. The older Tom was still way too possessive of his new toy to let anybody else near the Delta Flyer's helm. "No, I haven't flown her yet, Tom. Maybe we should take her out for a little spin."
"What? Now?"
"Sure." Chakotay smiled and lifted Tom off his lap, "I'll just go check with the Captain. Meanwhile," he brought up some data, "you can look through these crew profiles and tell me if you see the guy that told you all that rubbish about me."
"Kotay."
"For me?" Chakotay smiled when Tom rolled his eyes and began flicking through the files.
*** "Him." Tom whispered, "It was him."
I glanced over Tom's shoulder and bit down on my lip- I should have known he'd be trouble. Dalby. "I'll take care of him."
"NO!" Tom suddenly swung round at me, "Kotay, I don't want you to! I can take care of myself! Now I know that he was a liar I can just ignore him, can't I?"
"Tom." I sighed at the little boy, "Dalby shouldn't have said all those things. They were cruel lies, and you're just a child."
"Please, Kotay?" Tom turned around and stood up on the pilot's chair, so that he was my height. He put his arms around my neck, "Don't tell him off, I don't want everyone to hate me for being a tattletale."
"A tattletale?" I asked, confused.
"They won't like me for snitching." Tom said softly, "S'happened before, Kotay. I don't want it to happen again, I can take care of myself." He dropped his voice to a shakey whisper, "Daddy said no-one likes a tattletale."
I sighed at him; there was so much Tom had been through and was going through that I didn't even know about. So many bad things, so many horrible things, and I was powerless to stop anything else coming from his other life. This was why I felt so strongly about maiming Dalby. Maybe I couldn't do anything about Tom's first life, but I sure as hell could make his second life as easy as possible.
I put my arms around him in an attempt to stop the shaking, "No one will hate you, Tom."
Tom simply closed his eyes and begged desperately "Please, Kotay?"
"Fine." I resigned, seeing how much this was bothering him and not wanting to add to the trauma, "But you've got to promise that, if it happens again, the first thing you do is come and get me, okay? I was worried about you."
"Okay. I'm sorry." Tom smiled a little at me, "Can we go flying now?"
I smiled at him, "Sure. But only for a little while, and we'll be chasing Voyager at warp, she can't stop and wait for us to have a play."
"Okay." Tom grinned at me.
*** I watched Tom watching me intently. His gaze rested on my fingers on the conn and he whispered, "Kotay, you're slowing us down."
"What?"
He sighed business-like and clambered up into my lap, "You're putting too much power on your left impulse thruster."
"Tom, we're at warp, the impulse thrusters aren't even on."
Tom shook his head, "You keep comp.com." he looked to me for help.
"Compensating?"
"Yeah, compensating. You keep compensating coz we're drifting to the right, yeah?"
"Yes." I sighed, "But that's only because the right warp thruster is a little sluggish."
Tom shook his head again and brought up a display, "Nope. Look, they're aligned. It's coz your left impulse thruster is still burning a little. See?" he tapped up another display, "It's only 0.13%, but it's knocking us off course and slowing us down."
I checked the read-outs and laughed a little, "You're right." I grinned, "How'd you get to know that?"
Tom shrugged, "I just do. The energy output wasn't the same as the input, and I thought that might be it."
I smiled at the pilot in Tom, "In that case, smart ass, would you like to fly her for a while?"
"Are you serious, Kotay? Can I?" he spun around and grinned happily at me.
"Sure." I took my hands off the conn and put Tom's on it, "It's all yours, buddy. Why don't you drop us out of warp? Then you can practice whatever you want. You can catch up with Voyager later."
Tom grinned and pulled us out of warp, proceeding to go through a series of complex manoeuvres and stunts- some of which I would find difficult. "You're pretty good at that, Tom, who taught you?"
"My Uncle, mostly." Tom said, "But some things I can teach myself from displays." He frowned, "How did I know that?"
I leant my head on his shoulder, looking out the viewscreen and decided that Tom was way too happy to be having this conversation right now. "Just fly, Cadet." I said softly.
Tom giggled and straightened a little, he deepened his voice to, what I assumed, was his impression of an adult, "Where to, Commander?"
"Wherever you like, Cadet. Wherever you like." *** "So, I'm told you flew pretty well today, Tom." Kathryn smiled at Tom, who was sitting in Chakotay's lap, looking sleepy from the day's flying.
Tom beamed as he remembered his hours at the helm, completely uninterrupted by Chakotay. The Commander seemed to be okay with just watching over his flying, never taking over when he thought things might get tricky. Chakotay just helped him through the hard parts. Tom snuggled back into his bestest friend, "Kotay said so, didn't you, Kotay?"
"I did. You can fly very well, Tom." Chakotay shared a smile with Kathryn.
"I wanna be a pilot when I get growed up." Tom said softly, "Do ya reckon I can be one?"
Chakotay smiled back down at Tom, "Sure you can, Tom. You can do anything."
Tom grinned happily, his life was back to normal. He turned around to Chakotay, "Can I go and get a drink, Kotay?"
"Sure you can." Chakotay smiled and watched Tom scamper off towards the bar.
Kathryn shook her head and laughed, "That little boy is definitely Tom Paris." She looked up at Chakotay and asked curiously, "Was he really as good as you say at flying?"
"Oh yeah." Chakotay smiled at her, sipping at his drink, "I didn't think it was possible for a child his age to be at such a high standard." He sighed softly, "He's amazing."
*** "Hey, Paris, I think I was in front of you."
Tom turned around to see that mean man behind him- Dalby? Tom frowned, "No you weren't! I'm next! You're jus' pushing!"
"*Move*, Paris."
"NO! My name's TOM!"
Dalby laughed, "Whatever, Paris, now move."
"NO!" Tom shook his head, "Guess what? Kotay really don't hate me, you were lyin'!" He moved back towards the bar, "An' I was first and it's not nice to push."
"I wouldn't start with me, Paris." Dalby snarled, "You couldn't cope with me before, you won't be able to now." he growled, not noticing how silent the room was, "Trust me, Commander Chakotay hates you."
"Does NOT! You're a liar and you're mean an' I bet you got no friends coz you're so nasty." He turned on his heel towards the bar, but was stopped by a hand on his collar, pulling him back around.
"Yeah, well if Commander Chakotay can't see what a brat you are, then he's just an idiot."
"KOTAY'S NOT AN IDIOT! He's my bestest friend, an' I bet he don't like you. I don't bet anyone likes you."
"You just crossed the line, Paris. Us Maquis don't appreciate little shits like you." Dalby said, tightening his hold on Tom's collar.
Tom frowned and stamped his foot down on the man's toe just as Chakotay's fist connected with Dalby's nose. Tom's eyes widened and he looked up slowly from Dalby's crumpled body to Chakotay, who was shaking his sore hand and meeting his gaze. A slow smile spread across Tom's face and he whispered incredulously, "Kotay, you're gonna get in trouble! You're not supposed to hit people!"
Grinning, Chakotay shrugged, "And you're not supposed to stand on people's toes." He stepped over Dalby's body and lifted Tom up into his arms, "I don't tolerate people hurting you."
Tom leant his head on Chakotay's shoulder, "I don't like people callin' you names, Kotay. I love you."
Chakotay hugged Tom tightly, "I love you, too."
Chakotay was kind of shocked at the protective nature that had come out in him. He never expected to care that much about Paris. But as soon as he saw Dalby snarling at the little boy, he was overcome by a sudden urge to punch Dalby into another world. He hadn't even cared about the consequences.
Hearing Tom defend him also touched him deeply. The little boy had stood up to big, intimidating Dalby and defended *him*. Chakotay tightened his hold on Tom, and whispered, "Thank you for standing up for me, Tom."
Tom grinned widely, "Anytime, Kotay."
"Boys?" Kathryn said from behind them. She watched the pair turn around, seeing two incredibly guilty looking faces. "I'd just like to say that if Dalby wasn't being so insubordinate and if I didn't want to do the same thing, you would both be in the brig right now."
"I'm sorry," Chakotay whispered, "he was just."
"I know." Kathryn said softly, "You okay, Tom?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Tom said, with a smile on his face as he watched Dalby being escorted to the brig, "Did you see Kotay hit him, Kathy? That was so cool!" Tom hugged Chakotay, "He fell right to the floor!!!"
"Yes." Kathryn said, trying not to smile, "Tom, weren't you sleepy before?"
"Kinda." Tom shrugged.
Chakotay took this hint- this little boy had had enough action for one day. "Come on then, Tom, let's get you to bed. Say goodnight to Kathryn."
"Night, Kathy." Tom said softly.
"Goodnight, Tom, sleep well." Kathryn whispered, "Night, Chakotay."
*** Chakotay dumped Tom in his bed and laughed when Tom growled and dove right back at him. He play-fought with the small blonde for a while and then finished the boy off by tickling him within an inch of his life, "You want me to stop?" He grinned.
"No!" Tom yelled, and then threw his head back, giggling wildly as Chakotay's fingers attacked again. "Kay!" He laughed, "Stop! Kotay!"
Chakotay stopped and looked down at the breathless child, "You gonna get ready for bed?"
Tom nodded and scampered into the bathroom to change and get ready, running out in record time and, laughing, launching himself into Chakotay's arms. He snuggled into the man's neck, "Hey, you really don't hate me, Kotay."
"I know." Chakotay laughed a little, "Have you only just figured that out, Tom?"
Tom shrugged, "After what that guy said I wasn't too sure, but now I know!" he hugged Chakotay, "You're so great, Kotay!"
Laughing Chakotay threw Tom under the covers, "You're pretty great too, Tom Paris. Goodnight."
"Night, Kotay."
*** "It'll be fun."
"Fun? Living with a hyperactive, excited Tom Paris? Kathryn, have you MET that child? He'll excite himself to death. I don't think it's even possible to get more hyper."
"Well then you've nothing to worry about Chakotay. Most of the crew celebrate Christmas anyway. And you can't tell Tom to just forget his holiday."
"I guess not."
"Then it looks like you'll be playing Santa Claus."
"Who?"
***
I laughed at Tom's stuck out lip, he was so cute when he pouted. Those pleading blue eyes were dangerous though, I'd learnt to stay away from their talents. "Tom, I have to work."
"I can help ya work, Kotay!" he smiled at me, "I'll watch all the people on the bridge an' you can do your PADDs and stuff."
Sighing, I rounded the corner, "Tom, you can't come on the bridge today."
"Why not?" he demanded, folding his arms.
"Just because."
"Dumb reason." Tom mumbled under his breath.
"Commander?"
I turned around to see Ensign Harrison smiling brightly at me, "Yes, Ensign?" I replied, switching to 'Commander mode'.
However, the 'Commander mode' was completely ruined by Tom's loud, "Hiya, Jenny!" he wriggled out of my arms and looked up at Harrison, "Kotay's bein' mean to me this morning. Guess what?"
"What?" she laughed.
"He's makin' me stay with the Doctor."
The expression on Ensign Harrison's face was hilarious: she was obviously torn between the irresistible ministrations of Tom Paris and not wanting to say anything against her senior officer. Eventually she smiled gently at Tom, "I'm sure he has his reasons."
Tom let out a loud moan, "Growed ups are all the same." He stated firmly.
Trying not to grin too widely, I addressed Harrison, "What can I do for you, Ensign?"
"Well, I wanted to just show you some research I've been doing on enhancing the propulsion system, but if you're busy with Tom."
"He's not." Tom interrupted, eyes sparkling with the prospect of avoiding the Doc for a few precious minutes.
I laughed, "Tom, why don't you make your own way to sickbay?"
It was possible to see every single escape scenario running through Tom's small mind as he considered that suggestion. A slow smile spread across his face and I knew he'd latched onto the escape haven of the holodeck, "Sure, Kotay." He turned on his heel and began walking down the corridor.
"Hey, Cadet!" I called, making him turn around, "This is an official assignment from your commanding officer. I wouldn't want there to be anything bad on your record."
Tom pouted yet again and stormed off in the direction of sickbay.
*** "Hi!" Tom said brightly, catching up to the tall man in front of him, "I don't know you. I'm Tom."
"I know who you are." The man muttered, carrying straight on.
Tom blinked, then shrugged and caught up with him again, "Who are you?"
The man stopped and bent down to Tom's level, "Listen, Paris."
"Cool, you *do* know me then."
"There are some of us on this ship who *don't* like you. We don't like the grown up you, and we don't like the baby you. So stay out of my face." He snarled.
Tom frowned at the nasty man, "I haven't done nothing wrong!"
"Not yet you haven't, Paris. But you will, and we'll all hate you for it."
Shocked, Tom felt tears pricking the back of his eyes, but he shot back, "I'm not gonna do nothing wrong. An' even if I do, Kotay won't hate me!"
"He will." The man laughed evilly, "That's the ironic thing. *Kotay* will be the one who hates you the most!"
Tom stood, fixed to the spot by the man's cruel words. He managed to choke out a soft, "He won't."
"Then why does he drop you off at babysitters everyday? Because he hates having you around, Paris. He stays as late as he can at work every single day to avoid you. The only reason he's even letting you stay in his quarters is because he wants to get in favour with the Captain. You're nothing to him, Paris, in whatever form."
Watching the man walk away, Tom was torn, hurt and confused. What did he do now? His strongest instinct was to run into Chakotay's arms, but what if that man was right? His argument sounded pretty convincing. Tom stumbled forwards, on with his original path.
*** "You're finally here, are you?" The Doctor asked the small blonde exasperatedly, "Honestly, this is getting ridiculous. I'm a Doctor, not a babysitter. I shouldn't have to spend an inordinate amount of time watching a small child." he noticed the boy's forlorn expression and decided maybe he had been a little too harsh, ".who can obviously take care of himself."
Tom offered the Doc a small smile at the attempt and lay back on one of the biobeds, staring at the ceiling.
The Doctor frowned at the unusually subdued nine-year old, "Are you okay, Tom?"
"Fine." Tom said flatly, "I'm just tired, Doc."
"Oh. Okay then."
*** This sucked, Tom decided. He needed to get out somewhere where he could be on his own and think. It didn't help with the Doc asking him stuff every two seconds, he was trying to figure out why everything had suddenly taken a turn for the worse.
Tom supposed this should have been expected. Bad stuff always happened to him. Somehow, whenever things were good, the bad things weren't too far behind.
He looked towards the Doc, who was busy doing some medical thing Tom didn't understand properly. Sliding off the bed, Tom removed the Comm badge he had been assigned with and, dumping it on the biobed, headed out of sickbay.
*** "You WHAT!?"
"I can't be expected to keep my eye on him the whole time, I'm a Doctor, not a."
"You say that one more time and I swear I'll."
"Thank you, Doctor." Kathryn cut off the Comm link and turned to me, "Chakotay, it's okay."
"No, it's not! Tom could be anywhere!"
Kathryn dragged me down onto the sofa, and took my hand, "Tom has been out on his own before. He's nine-years old, he knows his way around the ship, he probably just wanted some time away from the Doctor- he's wanted that before."
"But he called me first!" I protested, "Maybe there's something wrong with him." I fretted, anything could happen to Tom! What if he had got lost and scared? What if he was hurt? I should have stayed with him.
Kathryn smiled at me in her Captainly way that always made me feel as though I was overreacting, like she could control anything in the universe. "Chakotay, how long can *you* stand being around the Doctor without taking a substantial break?"
I smiled a little, "Point taken. But I'm still worried about him." Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, "Can I take the day out to find him? I've got 34 people not wearing their Comm badge."
"Sure."
*** "Chakotay?"
I looked up to see Kathryn walking into my office with a frown on her face. I did not need a distraction, the location of Tom was still a mystery, and the pounding in my chest was increasing... "Oh, hi."
"You haven't located him yet?"
I shook my head, "We're down to 23 people who could be Tom- they're not wearing their Comm badges."
She shook her head, "Chakotay, sometimes you don't think with the powers of command." She tapped her Comm badge, "Janeway to all personnel- all crewmen not wearing their Comm badge- please put it on now for the next two minutes. Janeway out."
I smiled up at her, why do I never think of these things? I watched the number of lifeforms not wearing a Comm badge drop rapidly to just one. Why the hell hadn't I figured this out before?
The one place Tom Paris would go when he needed to be around familiar, liked surroundings?
Shuttle bay one.
*** "Cool." Tom breathed when he saw the shuttle. He ran his hand wondrously over the outer paint work, and came around to the entrance. Locked. He stood on his tiptoes and punched in a few random codes. To his surprise, it opened immediately to his usual privacy lock.
Tom walked into the shuttle and curled up in the orange pilot's chair. He let his mind go blank of everything else as he imagined what it would be like to fly that shuttle. He'd flown other shuttles with his Uncle, but nothing like this one. Tom bet that if he could design a shuttle, he'd design it just like this one. Except he'd have huge firing boosters on the side that shot out huge flames when they were switched on and launched you halfway across the galaxy. Yeah, that was the only change he would make. So he could fly anywhere he wanted.
*** Chakotay stormed into the shuttle bay and searched the room for the small blonde. The only shuttle that was lit up was the Delta Flyer, and he made his way quickly over to that one, ready to yell at the little boy who had caused him so much worry.
But the site he met with caused all his anger to fade away. A small nine- year old was snuggled up at the helm of what may as well be his shuttle, sleeping soundly. Chakotay noticed that Tom's thumb was tucked in his mouth, the little boy only did that when he felt scared and lonely. Sighing, Chakotay wandered over and lifted Tom up into his arms, sitting back down in the chair and arranging Tom in his embrace.
Tom snuffled a little and his troubled sapphire eyes opened. He looked up, "Oh, hey, Kotay." He whispered miserably.
Sighing again, Chakotay ran his hands though Tom's hair, knowing that there was something wrong with the child- he didn't need yelling at right now. He had honestly expected Tom to have run away from the Doctor on a search for the shuttles. He thought Tom would be ecstatic at finding this stash of the vehicles he loved so much. Chakotay stroked a hand across Tom's cheek, "Hi. Tom, do you want to tell me why you came here?"
Tom looked into Chakotay's eyes. What if that man was right? What if Kotay didn't want him around? That was probably why Kotay wasn't mad with him for running away, he was happy to be without Tom. But, still, that didn't explain why Kotay came after him. Maybe Kathy made him. Tom shrugged, "Just wanted to look around."
"Hey," Chakotay met the blonde's gaze, "I've known you long enough to know that there's something else beside your mischievous nature behind this. So, come on, spill."
Tom shrugged, "It's nothin', Kotay."
"Nothing?" Chakotay raised and eyebrow, "Tom, I'm here for you if there's anything you want to talk about. Anything, Tom, it doesn't matter."
"Anythin'?" Tom bit his lip. "Kotay, if I ask you somethin' would you answer honestly no matter what?"
"Yes." Chakotay said sincerely, "I don't lie, Tom."
Tom nodded, and asked quietly, "Kotay, do you hate me?"
"*Hate* you?" Chakotay blinked, reaching out to stroke Tom's hair, "NO! Tom, how have you reached that conclusion? I don't hate you, Tom. I could never hate you."
"P'omise?" Tom said softly.
"I promise!" Chakotay exclaimed, "Tell me what put this in your head."
Smiling with relief, Tom snuggled his way into Kotay's familiar chest. "A man told me." Tom said softly, "He said you hated me an' you only k'aftered me coz you wanted to look good to Captain Janey."
Chakotay's eyes widened and his voice took on an angry edge, "What? Who?" He saw Tom tremble a little at his anger and cursed himself for forgetting the blonde's sensitivity. "Honey, I'm not mad at you." He soothed softly, "I just want to get this guy. Do you know who he is?"
Tom shrugged, "I didn't know who he was."
"What did he look like?"
"Black hair, kinda tall." Tom said, "Kotay, can we just forget about it?"
Chakotay squeezed Tom to his chest, "Tom, this man said things about me that aren't true, things that hurt you. I want to discipline him so that he'll never ever come near you again."
Tom shrugged again, deciding to change the topic, "This shuttle's cool," he whispered, "It's the best one I've ever seen. I like it."
Smiling, Chakotay looked around at Tom's shuttle, "Yeah, I guess it is pretty 'you'."
"What's she called?" Tom breathed.
"The Delta Flyer."
"Cool. The Delta Flyer." Tom said admiringly, "Have you ever flied it?" Tom asked curiously, sitting so that he was still on Chakotay's lap, but gazing up into the older man's eyes, "Huh? Have you, Kotay? Can ya take me flying in it?"
Chakotay laughed. The older Tom was still way too possessive of his new toy to let anybody else near the Delta Flyer's helm. "No, I haven't flown her yet, Tom. Maybe we should take her out for a little spin."
"What? Now?"
"Sure." Chakotay smiled and lifted Tom off his lap, "I'll just go check with the Captain. Meanwhile," he brought up some data, "you can look through these crew profiles and tell me if you see the guy that told you all that rubbish about me."
"Kotay."
"For me?" Chakotay smiled when Tom rolled his eyes and began flicking through the files.
*** "Him." Tom whispered, "It was him."
I glanced over Tom's shoulder and bit down on my lip- I should have known he'd be trouble. Dalby. "I'll take care of him."
"NO!" Tom suddenly swung round at me, "Kotay, I don't want you to! I can take care of myself! Now I know that he was a liar I can just ignore him, can't I?"
"Tom." I sighed at the little boy, "Dalby shouldn't have said all those things. They were cruel lies, and you're just a child."
"Please, Kotay?" Tom turned around and stood up on the pilot's chair, so that he was my height. He put his arms around my neck, "Don't tell him off, I don't want everyone to hate me for being a tattletale."
"A tattletale?" I asked, confused.
"They won't like me for snitching." Tom said softly, "S'happened before, Kotay. I don't want it to happen again, I can take care of myself." He dropped his voice to a shakey whisper, "Daddy said no-one likes a tattletale."
I sighed at him; there was so much Tom had been through and was going through that I didn't even know about. So many bad things, so many horrible things, and I was powerless to stop anything else coming from his other life. This was why I felt so strongly about maiming Dalby. Maybe I couldn't do anything about Tom's first life, but I sure as hell could make his second life as easy as possible.
I put my arms around him in an attempt to stop the shaking, "No one will hate you, Tom."
Tom simply closed his eyes and begged desperately "Please, Kotay?"
"Fine." I resigned, seeing how much this was bothering him and not wanting to add to the trauma, "But you've got to promise that, if it happens again, the first thing you do is come and get me, okay? I was worried about you."
"Okay. I'm sorry." Tom smiled a little at me, "Can we go flying now?"
I smiled at him, "Sure. But only for a little while, and we'll be chasing Voyager at warp, she can't stop and wait for us to have a play."
"Okay." Tom grinned at me.
*** I watched Tom watching me intently. His gaze rested on my fingers on the conn and he whispered, "Kotay, you're slowing us down."
"What?"
He sighed business-like and clambered up into my lap, "You're putting too much power on your left impulse thruster."
"Tom, we're at warp, the impulse thrusters aren't even on."
Tom shook his head, "You keep comp.com." he looked to me for help.
"Compensating?"
"Yeah, compensating. You keep compensating coz we're drifting to the right, yeah?"
"Yes." I sighed, "But that's only because the right warp thruster is a little sluggish."
Tom shook his head again and brought up a display, "Nope. Look, they're aligned. It's coz your left impulse thruster is still burning a little. See?" he tapped up another display, "It's only 0.13%, but it's knocking us off course and slowing us down."
I checked the read-outs and laughed a little, "You're right." I grinned, "How'd you get to know that?"
Tom shrugged, "I just do. The energy output wasn't the same as the input, and I thought that might be it."
I smiled at the pilot in Tom, "In that case, smart ass, would you like to fly her for a while?"
"Are you serious, Kotay? Can I?" he spun around and grinned happily at me.
"Sure." I took my hands off the conn and put Tom's on it, "It's all yours, buddy. Why don't you drop us out of warp? Then you can practice whatever you want. You can catch up with Voyager later."
Tom grinned and pulled us out of warp, proceeding to go through a series of complex manoeuvres and stunts- some of which I would find difficult. "You're pretty good at that, Tom, who taught you?"
"My Uncle, mostly." Tom said, "But some things I can teach myself from displays." He frowned, "How did I know that?"
I leant my head on his shoulder, looking out the viewscreen and decided that Tom was way too happy to be having this conversation right now. "Just fly, Cadet." I said softly.
Tom giggled and straightened a little, he deepened his voice to, what I assumed, was his impression of an adult, "Where to, Commander?"
"Wherever you like, Cadet. Wherever you like." *** "So, I'm told you flew pretty well today, Tom." Kathryn smiled at Tom, who was sitting in Chakotay's lap, looking sleepy from the day's flying.
Tom beamed as he remembered his hours at the helm, completely uninterrupted by Chakotay. The Commander seemed to be okay with just watching over his flying, never taking over when he thought things might get tricky. Chakotay just helped him through the hard parts. Tom snuggled back into his bestest friend, "Kotay said so, didn't you, Kotay?"
"I did. You can fly very well, Tom." Chakotay shared a smile with Kathryn.
"I wanna be a pilot when I get growed up." Tom said softly, "Do ya reckon I can be one?"
Chakotay smiled back down at Tom, "Sure you can, Tom. You can do anything."
Tom grinned happily, his life was back to normal. He turned around to Chakotay, "Can I go and get a drink, Kotay?"
"Sure you can." Chakotay smiled and watched Tom scamper off towards the bar.
Kathryn shook her head and laughed, "That little boy is definitely Tom Paris." She looked up at Chakotay and asked curiously, "Was he really as good as you say at flying?"
"Oh yeah." Chakotay smiled at her, sipping at his drink, "I didn't think it was possible for a child his age to be at such a high standard." He sighed softly, "He's amazing."
*** "Hey, Paris, I think I was in front of you."
Tom turned around to see that mean man behind him- Dalby? Tom frowned, "No you weren't! I'm next! You're jus' pushing!"
"*Move*, Paris."
"NO! My name's TOM!"
Dalby laughed, "Whatever, Paris, now move."
"NO!" Tom shook his head, "Guess what? Kotay really don't hate me, you were lyin'!" He moved back towards the bar, "An' I was first and it's not nice to push."
"I wouldn't start with me, Paris." Dalby snarled, "You couldn't cope with me before, you won't be able to now." he growled, not noticing how silent the room was, "Trust me, Commander Chakotay hates you."
"Does NOT! You're a liar and you're mean an' I bet you got no friends coz you're so nasty." He turned on his heel towards the bar, but was stopped by a hand on his collar, pulling him back around.
"Yeah, well if Commander Chakotay can't see what a brat you are, then he's just an idiot."
"KOTAY'S NOT AN IDIOT! He's my bestest friend, an' I bet he don't like you. I don't bet anyone likes you."
"You just crossed the line, Paris. Us Maquis don't appreciate little shits like you." Dalby said, tightening his hold on Tom's collar.
Tom frowned and stamped his foot down on the man's toe just as Chakotay's fist connected with Dalby's nose. Tom's eyes widened and he looked up slowly from Dalby's crumpled body to Chakotay, who was shaking his sore hand and meeting his gaze. A slow smile spread across Tom's face and he whispered incredulously, "Kotay, you're gonna get in trouble! You're not supposed to hit people!"
Grinning, Chakotay shrugged, "And you're not supposed to stand on people's toes." He stepped over Dalby's body and lifted Tom up into his arms, "I don't tolerate people hurting you."
Tom leant his head on Chakotay's shoulder, "I don't like people callin' you names, Kotay. I love you."
Chakotay hugged Tom tightly, "I love you, too."
Chakotay was kind of shocked at the protective nature that had come out in him. He never expected to care that much about Paris. But as soon as he saw Dalby snarling at the little boy, he was overcome by a sudden urge to punch Dalby into another world. He hadn't even cared about the consequences.
Hearing Tom defend him also touched him deeply. The little boy had stood up to big, intimidating Dalby and defended *him*. Chakotay tightened his hold on Tom, and whispered, "Thank you for standing up for me, Tom."
Tom grinned widely, "Anytime, Kotay."
"Boys?" Kathryn said from behind them. She watched the pair turn around, seeing two incredibly guilty looking faces. "I'd just like to say that if Dalby wasn't being so insubordinate and if I didn't want to do the same thing, you would both be in the brig right now."
"I'm sorry," Chakotay whispered, "he was just."
"I know." Kathryn said softly, "You okay, Tom?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Tom said, with a smile on his face as he watched Dalby being escorted to the brig, "Did you see Kotay hit him, Kathy? That was so cool!" Tom hugged Chakotay, "He fell right to the floor!!!"
"Yes." Kathryn said, trying not to smile, "Tom, weren't you sleepy before?"
"Kinda." Tom shrugged.
Chakotay took this hint- this little boy had had enough action for one day. "Come on then, Tom, let's get you to bed. Say goodnight to Kathryn."
"Night, Kathy." Tom said softly.
"Goodnight, Tom, sleep well." Kathryn whispered, "Night, Chakotay."
*** Chakotay dumped Tom in his bed and laughed when Tom growled and dove right back at him. He play-fought with the small blonde for a while and then finished the boy off by tickling him within an inch of his life, "You want me to stop?" He grinned.
"No!" Tom yelled, and then threw his head back, giggling wildly as Chakotay's fingers attacked again. "Kay!" He laughed, "Stop! Kotay!"
Chakotay stopped and looked down at the breathless child, "You gonna get ready for bed?"
Tom nodded and scampered into the bathroom to change and get ready, running out in record time and, laughing, launching himself into Chakotay's arms. He snuggled into the man's neck, "Hey, you really don't hate me, Kotay."
"I know." Chakotay laughed a little, "Have you only just figured that out, Tom?"
Tom shrugged, "After what that guy said I wasn't too sure, but now I know!" he hugged Chakotay, "You're so great, Kotay!"
Laughing Chakotay threw Tom under the covers, "You're pretty great too, Tom Paris. Goodnight."
"Night, Kotay."
*** "It'll be fun."
"Fun? Living with a hyperactive, excited Tom Paris? Kathryn, have you MET that child? He'll excite himself to death. I don't think it's even possible to get more hyper."
"Well then you've nothing to worry about Chakotay. Most of the crew celebrate Christmas anyway. And you can't tell Tom to just forget his holiday."
"I guess not."
"Then it looks like you'll be playing Santa Claus."
"Who?"
***