Los Angeles

I circled the block to check for tails and reminded myself yet again to rent a movie on the way home since that was the excuse I gave Francie after the "Joey's Pizza" call. I may have seemed like the epitome of confidence when I left Noah's hospital room, but right now that could not be farther from the truth. I said what I wanted to say to Noah, but I still feel like I've lost part of myself along with him. It felt the same way when he left five years ago. Then, just like now I wasn't even sure I wanted to see him again, but somehow just couldn't accept that I wouldn't. I know that sounds completely pathetic, but Noah always could get under my skin. I recalled the mission in Arkhangelsk when forgot my Texas accent. That was one of the dumbest mistakes I'd ever made, and then he had to cover up for it. I was mortified! He was also probably my worst break up ever, even before the whole Snowman fiasco. After that it was pretty much academic. 'If there's anything worse than almost killing each other I don't even what to hear about it.' I thought to myself.
I finally decided that I was going to have to get to the warehouse eventually. Yet another reason confidant was the last thing I felt at that moment. This would be the first meeting with Vaughn since getting back from Tuvalu. I knew it would be awkward for me. I remember making the call in the hospital. I slowly punched each number, and held the phone to my ear as it rang.
"Vaughn," He finally answered.
"Hey Vaughn, it's Sydney," I said.
"Syd? Is everything okay?" He asked, I could hear the concern in his voice at my contacting him.
"Well umm......actually I'm in Tuvalu" I said.
"Tuvalu? What on a mission? Why weren't we informed about this?" He asked.
"No, no I'm not on a mission. I, I'm here because......" I couldn't seem to get the words out. 'Just get it over with Syd! It'll all be part of the official report anyway!' I screamed inside my head, ".....because Noah invited me."
Complete silence followed. I strained my ears hoping to hear some signs of life at the other end: a dial tone, someone saying something in the background, him breathing, anything! Finally a response came.
"Yeah?" He asked, it was safely nonspecific, but encouraged me to elaborate. I could tell he was wondering why in the hell I felt the urge to tell him that!
"And I ran into Khasinau," I explained.
"In Tuvalu?!" He exclaimed, obviously as surprised by that as I was.
"Yes. His guards captured me, but I managed to escape when they were distracted by the Snowman," I said, " I caught the Snowman. It's Noah."
"Wait, wait, wait. Noah was...........The Snowman?" Vaughn asked.
"Yeah, Khasinau got away. Noah and I were rescued by the Australian Coast Guard. We're in the hospital in Funafuti now," I said, and waited for his response. The silence this time lasted even longer than before, it was unbearable. I wanted to scream at him to say something. Finally I could stand it no longer.
"Vaughn?" I asked, and hoped my voice didn't sound as weak to him as it did to me. That seemed to snap him out of it.
"I'll be there as soon as I can." He answered. The doctor came and sent me back to my room after that. I wasn't exactly sure if he meant to send someone or actually come down himself. I got my answer the next morning when he showed up at the hospital. From there he flashed his CIA credentials to get Dr. Annoying off my back, called the American Embassy to stop their investigation, even had my luggage brought over from Noah's apartment, and volunteered to guard Noah by himself so that I could rest. My knight in shining Armani.
I parked my SUV and stepped inside the warehouse.
"How are you doing?" He asked first.
"Well..........the injuries seem to be healing just fine, so I guess you could say I'm okay." I said.
"But?" He said. I should have known he wouldn't just accept that answer.
"Khasinau got away." I said.
"That's okay though. The CIA is still working on it, we'll find him eventually," he assured me.
"I know," I said, "It's not just that though. I just feel so.......stupid. Like I should have known."
"Sydney you had no way of knowing-" I cut him off.
"Did I really not? I mean first off he told me that somehow he put away money in these secret bank accounts but didn't mention how! As if that wasn't enough to set off some alarm bells, Dixon had never trusted him, Dad was suspicious of him, hell even Sloane was suspicious of him! I feel like the clues were right there under my nose, I was just too stubborn to see them!" He looked down at the floor then back up at me, I continued on before he could get a chance to speak, "Plus, I can understand why Noah did what he did......much better than I'd like to. It could have been me in his position."
"No it couldn't-" He began forcefully, I interrupted again.
"It could! If I got to the point where I was desperate for away out, would I do something that drastic? Maybe." I said.
"I don't think you would," He said gently, "After knowing you these past few months I've seen how you are. No matter how desperate you felt you couldn't really go that far, because you're strong-"
"I'm not strong." I protested feeling tears welling up in my eyes.
"Yes you are Syd! Even when you don't feel strong you are, and you have good heart. So even if it got you out you wouldn't be able to live with it. That's why you saved Hicks, because you know that it wouldn't be real justice if you killed him, because that's not the kind of person you are. " He said.
"Thank you," I slowly said. We simply sat there quietly not knowing what to say to each other for a while. I was the one who eventually broke the silence.
"Well I should be getting home, Francie's probably worried." I said, he nodded and got up to open the fence for me. I started to walk out but stopped as I passed and turned to face him.
"Vaughn umm, when I went to Tuvalu with Noah..........." he shifted around uncomfortably at that, "......it was to tell him goodbye." I don't know why, but I felt like I wanted him to know that. He stared at me for a moment. His eyes were swimming with emotion, I knew mine were too. Without breaking eye contact he reached up and softly stroked my arm. The touch was reassuring and feather light, almost imperceptible.
"Goodnight, Syd" He said.
"Goodnight," I answered back, and slowly continued out of the warehouse. When I got in the car and pulled away I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. I drove away on auto pilot, and I sat out in the parking lot staring into Blockbuster for a good fifteen minutes. My mind was a million miles away. Drifting over many things my past, my mother, Noah and how the knowledge that he would have to be put behind me once and for all didn't seem quite so difficult anymore, and a certain CIA agent who looked better in a in a dress suit and gun holster than should be legal. I smiled and got out of the car to head inside.
Maybe the future didn't look quite so dim after all.

The end

**Okay was that like incredibly sappy? Hmm, anywayz sorry if I screwed up on the ending for you. I couldn't resist the knight in shining Armani line. It reminds me of his role in The Mists of Avalon, which is one of favorite books.**