Warning : Light harlequin style sex in this chapter.
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CHAPTER FIVE : Love is Blind
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I was beginning to be more used to his presence as the days passed. Legolas had a way about him that was soothing and calm. He never once raised his voice or tried to push me in any way. We stopped for breakfast early one morning in a glade just a day away from Mirkwood. I lay in the grass while he prepared some fruit and bread. The sun was still low in the sky but it was going to be a warm day. I lay back and looked up at the white clouds as they drifted by.
Legolas came over with the plates and set them down. He sat, his arms resting on his knees…watching me. I could feel that he wanted to talk to me…but he did not know where to start.
"What is it?" I asked him softly, taking a mellon piece and chewing on it absently. The sweet nectar was welcome in this new feeling of freedom.
"I don't know what to say…other than it feels so good to have you here…" he reached over and fingered my hair gently…unfortunately…this caused my hood to fall away. I lifted my hand to push it back but he stopped me. "Don't…"
I shivered. "Legolas…" Uncertainty flickered in my eyes and I could barely face him.
"You're beautiful, Rose…" he leaned over…as though to kiss me…but I turned away from him, pulling my hood back. I leant on one side, and continued to eat.
"I'm not beautiful and you know it, Legolas." I said coldly. "You have not seen the rest of my body either. You know little of what they did. "
I couldn't see his expression…but I felt something. He was watching me. When I glanced back at him…there was anger in his gaze that I hadn't expected to see. "I wish…" he held a piece of fruit in his hand, but was loathe to eat it…tossing it aside. "I wish I could have killed him. The one who did this to you…"
"I killed him." I told him suddenly. "He was unarmed at the time…and I plunged my dagger into his vitals, slicing him up and across the throat. I watched as he lay there…in his own blood…twitching. I planned his death. After what he had done to Frodo…I couldn't bear to have him…touch me again." I looked away because I couldn't bear to see the disgust in his eyes when he realized I had taken a life in such a vicious way. When he didn't speak…I continued…"He…wanted me to bear his children. But by the grace of Elbereth…I never…became pregnant." I paused…but the words were coming out in a rush…and I couldn't stop them any more than I could breathe. "Do you understand now, Legolas? He made me his…in every way that a slave could be controlled. I heard him talking…I heard him that day…He had been talking about what they had done to Frodo…and…I couldn't let him do it anymore. I couldn't let him hurt anyone." I trembled…my heart was pounding…but I needed him to know. I was afraid to look at him…afraid to see his eyes.
I took another deep breath and removed my hood. "You know what he did to my face…" I shivered…."But you don't know yet what he did to my body…" I began to unbutton the high dress and stand. He didn't say a word…but I could feel his eyes on me.
My hands trembled as I tried to undo the buttons, and it felt like an eternity. Finally…the tunic was no longer secure on me and I let it fall. I heard him try to stifle a sharp intake of breathe. "He was not satisfied with owning my face…he wanted more." I pulled my hair away and stood in the morning sun.
To explain completely…would be as difficult as reliving what had happened. My body had been pierced in many painful areas…holes were still healing where flesh had been permanently damaged. There were scars on my back from whips…and then the harsh paint that they used still stained my skin.
He rose unsteadily. I knew he hadn't been expecting this…but how could he not have…my nose had five holes in it where he had attached a chain of rings. Orcs had a fixation with jewelry and impossible places to wear it.
He stepped closer to me and reached out to cup my cheek in his hand. "You are beautiful, Rose…" he choked on his anger, trying to keep himself in control as he dragged me into his arms. "I know he hurt you. I also know what I would give…for it to have been me and not you…" He tilted my chin so I was forced to look into his eyes. I was surprised by what I saw there. It wasn't pity…it wasn't desire…it wasn't love…it was honesty. He brushed his lips briefly against mine then bent down to pick up my tunic.
He helped me into it…but then as his fingers lightly brushed my breasts as he began to help me button it…they lingered….and he stopped. I felt something building inside of me that I hadn't felt…since that night I had been captured. Longing for his hands…a desire for his lips…He searched my eyes trying desperately to control himself. In the end…it was me who pulled his lips to mine.
The kiss was filled with a passion that I cannot explain. It jumped from the very trees themselves, washing over us like a tidal wave. He needed me as though a drowning man did air. We collapsed slowly to the ground and he braced himself against the grass. His lips trailed from my lips down my jaw…and my neck. Light kisses filled with fire in each intense touch. He struggled out of his own shirt and vest and tossed them to the side, only once pulling away from me to help my arms out of the tunic we had partially tried to put on. The whole experience was building into a full encounter. I could feel his need hard and strong, and his desire filled with more than just lust. He wanted to please me. To give -me- pleasure. To make me happy…
He wouldn't let me touch him more than to caress his hair, or back, wanting only…to ease my pain. He easily slid my pants away…and worked his own off. I let him do the work he wanted to do. All the while he would look back at me, making sure it was not hurting me.
I didn't really know…I only knew that what he was doing…I wanted. His fingers and lips made magical work against my skin in places that had never before been touched in such a way. Finally…he smiled when I gave in to the throws of pleasure…realizing the touch of male for the first without being afraid or disgusted. It was not long before he entered me, and this had been the moment I had been dreading. I didn't know if I could handle it. But…he had prepared me…as others had not…and I felt no pain…Surprised…I gazed at him for a long moment as he rested right there…stroking my hair. Then he began to move, and not in the harsh way that I had dealt with before…but…slow…and then faster. He took his time…building a sensation that I had never experienced.
When it was over…he lay with me in his arms, underneath the morning sun. I curled next to him, with my head in the crook of his arm. I felt…different. But not changed.
"Do you understand now?" he asked softly, stroking my hand.
"I'm not sure…" I answered as gently as I could manage. "Legolas…one act does not erase everything…"
"I know." he sighed. "I know it doesn't. But no matter what happened to you…No matter what you did…or what they did to you…I won't hate you…I love you Merilas…my Rose…I wish you could see that."
"I wish I could forget…everything else…" I began to cry…"But I can't…not yet…"
"Its alright…" He nodded…"Just…let me try to show you…"
"I want to, Legolas…I'm trying."
"I know. Shhh….rest now…"
And I closed my eyes…and tried not to let dreams take me to places I did not want to be. For here was where I wanted to be…but it wasn't where every part of me was. I was crying…because I realized that I had let him do what he did…without resistance. And I didn't know if what I felt was real…
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CHAPTER FIVE : Love is Blind
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was beginning to be more used to his presence as the days passed. Legolas had a way about him that was soothing and calm. He never once raised his voice or tried to push me in any way. We stopped for breakfast early one morning in a glade just a day away from Mirkwood. I lay in the grass while he prepared some fruit and bread. The sun was still low in the sky but it was going to be a warm day. I lay back and looked up at the white clouds as they drifted by.
Legolas came over with the plates and set them down. He sat, his arms resting on his knees…watching me. I could feel that he wanted to talk to me…but he did not know where to start.
"What is it?" I asked him softly, taking a mellon piece and chewing on it absently. The sweet nectar was welcome in this new feeling of freedom.
"I don't know what to say…other than it feels so good to have you here…" he reached over and fingered my hair gently…unfortunately…this caused my hood to fall away. I lifted my hand to push it back but he stopped me. "Don't…"
I shivered. "Legolas…" Uncertainty flickered in my eyes and I could barely face him.
"You're beautiful, Rose…" he leaned over…as though to kiss me…but I turned away from him, pulling my hood back. I leant on one side, and continued to eat.
"I'm not beautiful and you know it, Legolas." I said coldly. "You have not seen the rest of my body either. You know little of what they did. "
I couldn't see his expression…but I felt something. He was watching me. When I glanced back at him…there was anger in his gaze that I hadn't expected to see. "I wish…" he held a piece of fruit in his hand, but was loathe to eat it…tossing it aside. "I wish I could have killed him. The one who did this to you…"
"I killed him." I told him suddenly. "He was unarmed at the time…and I plunged my dagger into his vitals, slicing him up and across the throat. I watched as he lay there…in his own blood…twitching. I planned his death. After what he had done to Frodo…I couldn't bear to have him…touch me again." I looked away because I couldn't bear to see the disgust in his eyes when he realized I had taken a life in such a vicious way. When he didn't speak…I continued…"He…wanted me to bear his children. But by the grace of Elbereth…I never…became pregnant." I paused…but the words were coming out in a rush…and I couldn't stop them any more than I could breathe. "Do you understand now, Legolas? He made me his…in every way that a slave could be controlled. I heard him talking…I heard him that day…He had been talking about what they had done to Frodo…and…I couldn't let him do it anymore. I couldn't let him hurt anyone." I trembled…my heart was pounding…but I needed him to know. I was afraid to look at him…afraid to see his eyes.
I took another deep breath and removed my hood. "You know what he did to my face…" I shivered…."But you don't know yet what he did to my body…" I began to unbutton the high dress and stand. He didn't say a word…but I could feel his eyes on me.
My hands trembled as I tried to undo the buttons, and it felt like an eternity. Finally…the tunic was no longer secure on me and I let it fall. I heard him try to stifle a sharp intake of breathe. "He was not satisfied with owning my face…he wanted more." I pulled my hair away and stood in the morning sun.
To explain completely…would be as difficult as reliving what had happened. My body had been pierced in many painful areas…holes were still healing where flesh had been permanently damaged. There were scars on my back from whips…and then the harsh paint that they used still stained my skin.
He rose unsteadily. I knew he hadn't been expecting this…but how could he not have…my nose had five holes in it where he had attached a chain of rings. Orcs had a fixation with jewelry and impossible places to wear it.
He stepped closer to me and reached out to cup my cheek in his hand. "You are beautiful, Rose…" he choked on his anger, trying to keep himself in control as he dragged me into his arms. "I know he hurt you. I also know what I would give…for it to have been me and not you…" He tilted my chin so I was forced to look into his eyes. I was surprised by what I saw there. It wasn't pity…it wasn't desire…it wasn't love…it was honesty. He brushed his lips briefly against mine then bent down to pick up my tunic.
He helped me into it…but then as his fingers lightly brushed my breasts as he began to help me button it…they lingered….and he stopped. I felt something building inside of me that I hadn't felt…since that night I had been captured. Longing for his hands…a desire for his lips…He searched my eyes trying desperately to control himself. In the end…it was me who pulled his lips to mine.
The kiss was filled with a passion that I cannot explain. It jumped from the very trees themselves, washing over us like a tidal wave. He needed me as though a drowning man did air. We collapsed slowly to the ground and he braced himself against the grass. His lips trailed from my lips down my jaw…and my neck. Light kisses filled with fire in each intense touch. He struggled out of his own shirt and vest and tossed them to the side, only once pulling away from me to help my arms out of the tunic we had partially tried to put on. The whole experience was building into a full encounter. I could feel his need hard and strong, and his desire filled with more than just lust. He wanted to please me. To give -me- pleasure. To make me happy…
He wouldn't let me touch him more than to caress his hair, or back, wanting only…to ease my pain. He easily slid my pants away…and worked his own off. I let him do the work he wanted to do. All the while he would look back at me, making sure it was not hurting me.
I didn't really know…I only knew that what he was doing…I wanted. His fingers and lips made magical work against my skin in places that had never before been touched in such a way. Finally…he smiled when I gave in to the throws of pleasure…realizing the touch of male for the first without being afraid or disgusted. It was not long before he entered me, and this had been the moment I had been dreading. I didn't know if I could handle it. But…he had prepared me…as others had not…and I felt no pain…Surprised…I gazed at him for a long moment as he rested right there…stroking my hair. Then he began to move, and not in the harsh way that I had dealt with before…but…slow…and then faster. He took his time…building a sensation that I had never experienced.
When it was over…he lay with me in his arms, underneath the morning sun. I curled next to him, with my head in the crook of his arm. I felt…different. But not changed.
"Do you understand now?" he asked softly, stroking my hand.
"I'm not sure…" I answered as gently as I could manage. "Legolas…one act does not erase everything…"
"I know." he sighed. "I know it doesn't. But no matter what happened to you…No matter what you did…or what they did to you…I won't hate you…I love you Merilas…my Rose…I wish you could see that."
"I wish I could forget…everything else…" I began to cry…"But I can't…not yet…"
"Its alright…" He nodded…"Just…let me try to show you…"
"I want to, Legolas…I'm trying."
"I know. Shhh….rest now…"
And I closed my eyes…and tried not to let dreams take me to places I did not want to be. For here was where I wanted to be…but it wasn't where every part of me was. I was crying…because I realized that I had let him do what he did…without resistance. And I didn't know if what I felt was real…
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