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CHAPTER SIX : A Less than Perfect Arrangement
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Mirkwood was as I remembered it, and I was welcomed home by those who had known me. They were friends of old, and people that had taken care of me. I was not unhappy with the reception. I was more unhappy with the feeling of being among my own kind again. It was odd…a sensation I didn't really understand. Things hadn't changed in 15 years, but attitudes were different. They were a bit more open than they used to be when talking about other races. I just felt…out of place.
I wandered through the halls one day, a few days later, not really sure what exactly it was I was looking for. Legolas had been in meetings all day and I had finally decided to get out on my own. I still wore a hood and had not yet visited the healers. I was uncertain as to which step to take or what road to follow. He made it sound so easy…like all I would have to do was ask for it, and it would be done. But I knew that was never the case. Not when it came to me. I had too much that I had to deal with and more still that I didn't want to even go into.
"Merilas?" a small voice came from down the corridor and I turned to see who it was. An old friend…she was the daughter of a Lord, her name; Cathasia. She and I had never spoken much really, but we had worked
I looked at her silently. It had become well known that I did not speak much anymore. She came up to me and smiled at me nervously. I could tell she had no idea what to say. "Hello." I nodded solemly and clasped my hands behind my back as I watched her thoughtfully.
"I was told you had returned." she ventured. "We're all so happy that you have come back to us." It was one of the many typical responses that I'd had since Legolas brought me home. I smiled at her in response…though I must admit it wasn't the friendliest of smiles.…unfortunately I was having trouble with any enthusiasm about being home.
She shifted from one foot to the other, probably trying to figure out what to say to me. I did not have anything real to offer in the way of communication. "Thank-you." I replied calmly.
That did not deter her, and she continued to walk with me. "Merilas, I'd been wondering how you were…I confess I was a little surprised to hear about the wedding announcement so soon…" perhaps had I been a little less preoccupied with my own problems I might have seen the sly look she gave me.
"Wedding? Who is getting married?" I asked, not really all that concerned with society gossip but at least it was something to say. I leant against a balcony railing. It overlooked a vast garden, part of Thranduil's sprawling home.
"Oh…" she chuckled, "You don't need to hold out on me, we're old friends." She assured me. Were we now? I raised an eyebrow as she continued, "The Prince Legolas of course, I heard him talking with his father. There is to be a wedding soon."
I caught my breathe, stopping to look at her directly. It had been so long since I'd been involved in society of any normal kind that I had forgotten how to pick out those who were telling truths and those who were seeking to spread mischief. "And…who is he marrying?"
"Don't be silly!" she laughed, "You know who he's marrying. Its -you-." she took my arm, "We wondered because there are rumors that you don't intend to stay in Middle Earth, but now that you have made your decision we're all -Very- happy certainly…because it means that Mirkwood will have heirs."
I scowled then shaking her away…"I don't know what you're…" I backed off, trying to sound normal. "I have to go, there's somewhere I must be. I will see you later at dinner." With that…I ran. I was not concerned with pride…I just wanted to know what was going on. How dare he tell people…I was not staying. I didn't want to be married. My head reeled. Was he thinking of pushing me into something I didn't want? I slowed down as I got to the royal chambers, and leant against the wall, thinking. Then I began to run. I felt trapped…and I needed to escape. I found the door to his chambers, it was ajar and I saw him in there. He looked around as he saw me and smiled.
I let the door open all the way, and he walked towards me, taking my hand in his. He frowned when I pulled away from him. "What do you think you're doing, Legolas?" I asked him calmly.
"Is something wrong?" his eyebrows shot up in confusion when I closed the door and stared at him coldly.
"I'm not a trophy that you have won." I said angrily, my head was reeling from pent up emotion. "You can't just tell other people what I will and will not do."
"What is this all about?" he tried to get me to sit down, but again I pulled away from him.
"Don't touch me." I shook, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. I turned away so that I could not see the pain in his eyes. "I heard…I heard that you were going to announce a wedding. Legolas, I -never- agreed to marry you. Ever. I'm -NOT staying."
"Marry me…" Legolas repeated…"But…But I know that. I understand…."
"You -DON'T-." I shrieked. "Or you wouldn't have told your father that you were going to announce our engagement!" I whipped around and saw the look on his face. The confusion set into comprehension and I took that as acknowledgement that he had indeed been going behind my back…trying to trap me. He wouldn't do that…he loved me…calm down…I tried to gain control over my emotions but the anger was building up so high that I couldn't think.
"I never…" he stopped and then remembered something, apparently. "Merilas its not what you think. I would never force a marriage on you. I accept that you can't stay… My father was just giving me his blessing if you…did you overhear us?" He tried to put his hands on my shoulders to pull me too him.
"No." I shook my head, "No…no its not true." I staggered away. "No…don't come near me." Emotions were churning in my heart as I tried to focus. It was impossible, the caged feeling was dominant and the idea of being trapped again was worse than anything I could possibly imagine. It was just the very idea that set off memories and built terror and fear in my mind. I looked at Legolas…and I saw Shagrat.
"No!" I screamed and ran...and ran…I knew he was close behind me, but I was not going to let anyone trap me ever again. I kept running…out through the house…into the gardens..and beyond.
…
CHAPTER SIX : A Less than Perfect Arrangement
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Mirkwood was as I remembered it, and I was welcomed home by those who had known me. They were friends of old, and people that had taken care of me. I was not unhappy with the reception. I was more unhappy with the feeling of being among my own kind again. It was odd…a sensation I didn't really understand. Things hadn't changed in 15 years, but attitudes were different. They were a bit more open than they used to be when talking about other races. I just felt…out of place.
I wandered through the halls one day, a few days later, not really sure what exactly it was I was looking for. Legolas had been in meetings all day and I had finally decided to get out on my own. I still wore a hood and had not yet visited the healers. I was uncertain as to which step to take or what road to follow. He made it sound so easy…like all I would have to do was ask for it, and it would be done. But I knew that was never the case. Not when it came to me. I had too much that I had to deal with and more still that I didn't want to even go into.
"Merilas?" a small voice came from down the corridor and I turned to see who it was. An old friend…she was the daughter of a Lord, her name; Cathasia. She and I had never spoken much really, but we had worked
I looked at her silently. It had become well known that I did not speak much anymore. She came up to me and smiled at me nervously. I could tell she had no idea what to say. "Hello." I nodded solemly and clasped my hands behind my back as I watched her thoughtfully.
"I was told you had returned." she ventured. "We're all so happy that you have come back to us." It was one of the many typical responses that I'd had since Legolas brought me home. I smiled at her in response…though I must admit it wasn't the friendliest of smiles.…unfortunately I was having trouble with any enthusiasm about being home.
She shifted from one foot to the other, probably trying to figure out what to say to me. I did not have anything real to offer in the way of communication. "Thank-you." I replied calmly.
That did not deter her, and she continued to walk with me. "Merilas, I'd been wondering how you were…I confess I was a little surprised to hear about the wedding announcement so soon…" perhaps had I been a little less preoccupied with my own problems I might have seen the sly look she gave me.
"Wedding? Who is getting married?" I asked, not really all that concerned with society gossip but at least it was something to say. I leant against a balcony railing. It overlooked a vast garden, part of Thranduil's sprawling home.
"Oh…" she chuckled, "You don't need to hold out on me, we're old friends." She assured me. Were we now? I raised an eyebrow as she continued, "The Prince Legolas of course, I heard him talking with his father. There is to be a wedding soon."
I caught my breathe, stopping to look at her directly. It had been so long since I'd been involved in society of any normal kind that I had forgotten how to pick out those who were telling truths and those who were seeking to spread mischief. "And…who is he marrying?"
"Don't be silly!" she laughed, "You know who he's marrying. Its -you-." she took my arm, "We wondered because there are rumors that you don't intend to stay in Middle Earth, but now that you have made your decision we're all -Very- happy certainly…because it means that Mirkwood will have heirs."
I scowled then shaking her away…"I don't know what you're…" I backed off, trying to sound normal. "I have to go, there's somewhere I must be. I will see you later at dinner." With that…I ran. I was not concerned with pride…I just wanted to know what was going on. How dare he tell people…I was not staying. I didn't want to be married. My head reeled. Was he thinking of pushing me into something I didn't want? I slowed down as I got to the royal chambers, and leant against the wall, thinking. Then I began to run. I felt trapped…and I needed to escape. I found the door to his chambers, it was ajar and I saw him in there. He looked around as he saw me and smiled.
I let the door open all the way, and he walked towards me, taking my hand in his. He frowned when I pulled away from him. "What do you think you're doing, Legolas?" I asked him calmly.
"Is something wrong?" his eyebrows shot up in confusion when I closed the door and stared at him coldly.
"I'm not a trophy that you have won." I said angrily, my head was reeling from pent up emotion. "You can't just tell other people what I will and will not do."
"What is this all about?" he tried to get me to sit down, but again I pulled away from him.
"Don't touch me." I shook, feeling like the walls were closing in on me. I turned away so that I could not see the pain in his eyes. "I heard…I heard that you were going to announce a wedding. Legolas, I -never- agreed to marry you. Ever. I'm -NOT staying."
"Marry me…" Legolas repeated…"But…But I know that. I understand…."
"You -DON'T-." I shrieked. "Or you wouldn't have told your father that you were going to announce our engagement!" I whipped around and saw the look on his face. The confusion set into comprehension and I took that as acknowledgement that he had indeed been going behind my back…trying to trap me. He wouldn't do that…he loved me…calm down…I tried to gain control over my emotions but the anger was building up so high that I couldn't think.
"I never…" he stopped and then remembered something, apparently. "Merilas its not what you think. I would never force a marriage on you. I accept that you can't stay… My father was just giving me his blessing if you…did you overhear us?" He tried to put his hands on my shoulders to pull me too him.
"No." I shook my head, "No…no its not true." I staggered away. "No…don't come near me." Emotions were churning in my heart as I tried to focus. It was impossible, the caged feeling was dominant and the idea of being trapped again was worse than anything I could possibly imagine. It was just the very idea that set off memories and built terror and fear in my mind. I looked at Legolas…and I saw Shagrat.
"No!" I screamed and ran...and ran…I knew he was close behind me, but I was not going to let anyone trap me ever again. I kept running…out through the house…into the gardens..and beyond.
…