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CHAPTER SEVEN : Sacrifices
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I hid quickly as Legolas came by, searching. I had run far into the woods…yet he still followed me. I wanted to get away…why didn't he understand? I couldn't stay here…not anymore. I saw him stand there and bend down to pick up something in the road, a bit of cloth from my dress. I realized that I was hardly prepared for traveling. He looked around, glancing up at the very tree I was in. I saw then the determination in his eyes, he wasn't going to stop looking. Just then…I felt the branch cracking and let out a cry as I plummeted down.
Legolas reacted quickly, easily catching me. He'd known…somehow…that I was there. He braced himself against my weight, and held me steadily. He never ceased to amaze me with his ability to He tried to smile, but he was not sure how I was going to react. I put my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, shivering.
"Meri…" he said at last. "What's wrong? What happened…?" he stroked my hair gently. "Why did you run away from me…?"
"Legolas…" I refused to look at him, still with my head on his shoulder, I did not answer even one of his questions…"Why can't you let me go?" I shuddered and began to cry softly.
He set my feet down, but still held me in his arms. "Because--Because I love you…you know that…something happened. Please talk to me?"
"I need to go away from here." I told him finally. "I can't stay in Mirkwood. I can't give you what you want." I pulled away, standing as firmly as I could.
"No." he shook his head, "No I don't accept that. Merilas. You promised me a year…we've barely been here a couple of weeks. What have I done?" he remained so earnest that I wondered how in the world I could even think of leaving…but I had to.
"What have you done? You…you…want to bind me to you, Legolas. You want me …but…I can't…I can't do it. You don't understand. I'm broken…I can't just go back to a life that didn't exist for me for 15 years. There are things I have to do. I can't sit here and walk about the paths of Mirkwood like nothing happened. There is no one here that can even begin to understand what happened to me….even you." I looked at him straight in the eye then. It wasn't that I didn't love him…I did…It was just…I couldn't shut out what had been done to me much less erase memories for every day that I looked in a mirror…I remembered.
"I'm not trying to force you into anything…" He took a deep breath, "All I want is time with you…that's all…Please…believe me."
"You're not telling me the truth, Legolas." I shook my head, "I know that you and your father are planning a ceremony. A wedding."
He looked stunned…his eyebrows knit together anxiously, "H-how…"
"How did I know? I was informed by someone that once called herself my friend." I looked away, so it was true. "Even in the two weeks that I was home, already I heard things that have convinced me my place in Elvish Society is finished. I cannot be a Princess, Legolas…and I cannot be your wife."
"But…we are bound together. You can't." he insisted suddenly, taking my arm. "You can't just throw that away. I've loved you since the day we first met. I've known…I've known what you mean to me since then. And I know you feel the same. Why are you denying it? Why are you walking away from us? You could be happy here…I will make you happy…just give me a chance…you can't leave…please…" he took my other arm. …then he blurted out. "You belong to me."
I stiffened, my heart felt like a thousand needles had pricked it and a cold chill ran down my spine as a memory sprang into my mind.
---flashback---
Frodo lay on the ground while Snaga leered at me. "Why shouldn't I?" the Orc spat out. "He belongs to Shagrat now as much as you do for as long as you are in his Tower." His clawed hands lifting up Frodo's body, digging into the hobbit's flesh…and slinging him over his shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes. Frodo cried out…moaning in pain as blood trickled from his wounds. "He has information we need."
"No….don't….not him…" I cried out. "He's too weak…he won't last…please…"
He backhanded me across the face and I fell to the floor, crying. "If you were mine, She-Elf. You'd be dead for that. "But you belong to Shagrat…consider yourself lucky."
Lucky…I stared at Frodo…"Frodo be brave…"
He gazed at me through bleary eyes…not understanding what was happening. The look was filled with confusion and pain…he had no idea what was about to happen to him. I wished with all my heart at that point that it was me instead of him.
"Snaga…" I said, stepping up and shivering. "Put him down and I'll do whatever you want. Let him have more hours to rest…"
He stopped and looked back at me, "Will you…and your master?"
I lifted my chin. "He'll not know." The other orc guard was gone at the time. "I will say nothing…just give Frodo a few more hours…"
The orc dropped the hobbit unceremoniously down on the floor. "I accept this bargain." he stepped towards me, and I focused on the hobbit…who lay curled up on the floor, his eyes wide open as he watched in fear and horror.
---end flashback---
"I belong to no one." my words were ice-cold as I pulled my arm away. "No one."
Legolas stared at me…and I saw pain flash in his eyes as what I was saying sunk in. I could tell that he didn't understand…he never would. "What…" he sighed finally. "What do you want me to do?" he lifted his hand in helpless submission, stepping back to give me the space I wanted.
"Go home." I told him, my expression dull and empty. "Go home and don't follow me. There are things I must do."
He looked away, steeling his own expression and regaining his self control. His voice equally flat he responded, "Will you return to fulfill your promise?"
"In truth…I do not know." I turned. "I'm going to get a horse…and proper clothes. I…I should never have come back here." My heart trapped in an ice cold grip that wouldn't let go…I began to walk away…not looking back.
"Merilas…" Legolas called my name hesitantly.
I stopped, but did not turn around. "Legolas. I am no longer an elf. This is what you do not understand. I am not bound by your ways. Don't follow me."
And when I finally turned around he was gone. I sighed, it was for the best. There were places I had to go…things I had to see…Frodo…Legolas would never understand…but Frodo would. I needed to talk to him.
---
Legolas watched Merilas from the forest as she prepared to depart. He was ready himself…and he vowed that he would never lose her again. He didn't understand why she was doing this…but he wouldn't let her vanish again. He followed at a safe distance…but never let his presence be known.
---
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CHAPTER SEVEN : Sacrifices
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I hid quickly as Legolas came by, searching. I had run far into the woods…yet he still followed me. I wanted to get away…why didn't he understand? I couldn't stay here…not anymore. I saw him stand there and bend down to pick up something in the road, a bit of cloth from my dress. I realized that I was hardly prepared for traveling. He looked around, glancing up at the very tree I was in. I saw then the determination in his eyes, he wasn't going to stop looking. Just then…I felt the branch cracking and let out a cry as I plummeted down.
Legolas reacted quickly, easily catching me. He'd known…somehow…that I was there. He braced himself against my weight, and held me steadily. He never ceased to amaze me with his ability to He tried to smile, but he was not sure how I was going to react. I put my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder, shivering.
"Meri…" he said at last. "What's wrong? What happened…?" he stroked my hair gently. "Why did you run away from me…?"
"Legolas…" I refused to look at him, still with my head on his shoulder, I did not answer even one of his questions…"Why can't you let me go?" I shuddered and began to cry softly.
He set my feet down, but still held me in his arms. "Because--Because I love you…you know that…something happened. Please talk to me?"
"I need to go away from here." I told him finally. "I can't stay in Mirkwood. I can't give you what you want." I pulled away, standing as firmly as I could.
"No." he shook his head, "No I don't accept that. Merilas. You promised me a year…we've barely been here a couple of weeks. What have I done?" he remained so earnest that I wondered how in the world I could even think of leaving…but I had to.
"What have you done? You…you…want to bind me to you, Legolas. You want me …but…I can't…I can't do it. You don't understand. I'm broken…I can't just go back to a life that didn't exist for me for 15 years. There are things I have to do. I can't sit here and walk about the paths of Mirkwood like nothing happened. There is no one here that can even begin to understand what happened to me….even you." I looked at him straight in the eye then. It wasn't that I didn't love him…I did…It was just…I couldn't shut out what had been done to me much less erase memories for every day that I looked in a mirror…I remembered.
"I'm not trying to force you into anything…" He took a deep breath, "All I want is time with you…that's all…Please…believe me."
"You're not telling me the truth, Legolas." I shook my head, "I know that you and your father are planning a ceremony. A wedding."
He looked stunned…his eyebrows knit together anxiously, "H-how…"
"How did I know? I was informed by someone that once called herself my friend." I looked away, so it was true. "Even in the two weeks that I was home, already I heard things that have convinced me my place in Elvish Society is finished. I cannot be a Princess, Legolas…and I cannot be your wife."
"But…we are bound together. You can't." he insisted suddenly, taking my arm. "You can't just throw that away. I've loved you since the day we first met. I've known…I've known what you mean to me since then. And I know you feel the same. Why are you denying it? Why are you walking away from us? You could be happy here…I will make you happy…just give me a chance…you can't leave…please…" he took my other arm. …then he blurted out. "You belong to me."
I stiffened, my heart felt like a thousand needles had pricked it and a cold chill ran down my spine as a memory sprang into my mind.
---flashback---
Frodo lay on the ground while Snaga leered at me. "Why shouldn't I?" the Orc spat out. "He belongs to Shagrat now as much as you do for as long as you are in his Tower." His clawed hands lifting up Frodo's body, digging into the hobbit's flesh…and slinging him over his shoulder like he was a sack of potatoes. Frodo cried out…moaning in pain as blood trickled from his wounds. "He has information we need."
"No….don't….not him…" I cried out. "He's too weak…he won't last…please…"
He backhanded me across the face and I fell to the floor, crying. "If you were mine, She-Elf. You'd be dead for that. "But you belong to Shagrat…consider yourself lucky."
Lucky…I stared at Frodo…"Frodo be brave…"
He gazed at me through bleary eyes…not understanding what was happening. The look was filled with confusion and pain…he had no idea what was about to happen to him. I wished with all my heart at that point that it was me instead of him.
"Snaga…" I said, stepping up and shivering. "Put him down and I'll do whatever you want. Let him have more hours to rest…"
He stopped and looked back at me, "Will you…and your master?"
I lifted my chin. "He'll not know." The other orc guard was gone at the time. "I will say nothing…just give Frodo a few more hours…"
The orc dropped the hobbit unceremoniously down on the floor. "I accept this bargain." he stepped towards me, and I focused on the hobbit…who lay curled up on the floor, his eyes wide open as he watched in fear and horror.
---end flashback---
"I belong to no one." my words were ice-cold as I pulled my arm away. "No one."
Legolas stared at me…and I saw pain flash in his eyes as what I was saying sunk in. I could tell that he didn't understand…he never would. "What…" he sighed finally. "What do you want me to do?" he lifted his hand in helpless submission, stepping back to give me the space I wanted.
"Go home." I told him, my expression dull and empty. "Go home and don't follow me. There are things I must do."
He looked away, steeling his own expression and regaining his self control. His voice equally flat he responded, "Will you return to fulfill your promise?"
"In truth…I do not know." I turned. "I'm going to get a horse…and proper clothes. I…I should never have come back here." My heart trapped in an ice cold grip that wouldn't let go…I began to walk away…not looking back.
"Merilas…" Legolas called my name hesitantly.
I stopped, but did not turn around. "Legolas. I am no longer an elf. This is what you do not understand. I am not bound by your ways. Don't follow me."
And when I finally turned around he was gone. I sighed, it was for the best. There were places I had to go…things I had to see…Frodo…Legolas would never understand…but Frodo would. I needed to talk to him.
---
Legolas watched Merilas from the forest as she prepared to depart. He was ready himself…and he vowed that he would never lose her again. He didn't understand why she was doing this…but he wouldn't let her vanish again. He followed at a safe distance…but never let his presence be known.
---
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