The Long Summer 29
"Look, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?" Xander demanded, not bothering to disguise his irritation as Buffy once more inserted herself into his path.
"Until I believe you." She declared. Her eyes seemed a little over bright and her color flushed. He didn't have to look too closely to see that she was well on her way to a deep golden tan for the summer.
He stopped dodging her and faced her squarely. Work was piling up and he needed to finish his reqs and workbook for the day so when quitting time came, he could get out of there. "Look, Buffy. Thanks for the concern." He held up his hand. "Seriously. But I'm fine. A little overworked and a lot underpaid, but I'm fine."
"Really?" She sounded intensely skeptical. "Why do I not believe you?"
"Defect?" Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I just - want my space."
"Xander - we're your friends. We care about you. You've been staying so distant lately and I know Dawn came to see you last night."
He waited for it. She didn't chew him out or punch him. It was a safe bet Dawn didn't confess the entirety of the conversation. That was decent of her. Xander shoved his hands into his pockets.
"What do you want me to say, Buff?"
Her brow wrinkled into a deep frown. "I want you to tell me what's wrong."
"Okay. You're what's wrong."
"Huh?"
"You're badgering me, following me around, giving me orders and telling me what to do. That's what's wrong."
"It's called friendship, Xander. Remember? We need to talk to each other. Don't let each other drift apart until we don't recognize each other anymore."
"You look in a mirror lately?" Xander lifted his brows; he couldn't believe the line she spouted off.
"Am I supposed to understand that?"
"You've been Miss Enigma since the great return. Now, while I don't pretend that you weren't pissed at us for wanting our friend back, we did pull you out of heaven which made most of rank real low on the totem pole. You needed your space, you needed - Spike." His mouth twisted bitterly. 'The last thing you needed was the rest of us. You getting what I'm saying here?"
"But Xander - I did need you." Her over bright eyes sharpened. He watched her work her teeth into her upper lip. She didn't know what to say.
Well that made two of them.
"You had a real funny way of showing it."
"Hey." Buffy looked offended. "I tried to tell you guys, but you were too happy about having me back and we did this already - we worked this out - didn't we?"
"Did we?" Xander shrugged. "I thought it was more a Buffy pity party and how I'm an idiot and a moron because I actually disapprove of you getting down and nasty with a vampire - oh wait - I sang this song before and we had to deal with Angelus. Silly me."
The shot struck the mark hard and fast. He saw the way her expression closed in and her eyes shuttered.
"I want to be left alone, Buffy. I want my space. I want to figure my own head without two cents thrown in by you."
"Xander - "
"What?" His impatience got the better of him; he felt his hands curl into fists. If she were a guy, he'd deck her at the moment. He could feel the anger seething upwards. She just wouldn't shut up and go away. She never knew when to leave it alone, except when it came to her.
Oh, then she knew how to keep her mouth shut.
"I'm sorry." She seemed so helpless, but what a crock. She was a least helpless person he knew. She didn't need him. She didn't want him around unless it was convenient for her.
He averted his gaze from her face and studied the work site. "We're all sorry, Buffy. It doesn't change squat."
"No," her voice was whisper soft. "I guess it doesn't."
He didn't bother to reply. He kept his eyes affixed to the bobcat that was hauling away some debris from the construction. He could almost feel her fidgeting, but he refused to look at her. He sensed more than saw her hand rise twice, only to fall away without touching him.
"I guess - I'll go."
"That would be appreciated." He responded quietly.
"Okay - see you later."
"Yep. See you." His gazed didn't waver from the construction. After an eternity, she finally turned and he heard her walk away. His jaw clenched as the muscles in it tightened.
With excruciating slowness, he uncurled his fists and glanced down at the bloody indentions he'd left with his fingernails.
"Look, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm fine?" Xander demanded, not bothering to disguise his irritation as Buffy once more inserted herself into his path.
"Until I believe you." She declared. Her eyes seemed a little over bright and her color flushed. He didn't have to look too closely to see that she was well on her way to a deep golden tan for the summer.
He stopped dodging her and faced her squarely. Work was piling up and he needed to finish his reqs and workbook for the day so when quitting time came, he could get out of there. "Look, Buffy. Thanks for the concern." He held up his hand. "Seriously. But I'm fine. A little overworked and a lot underpaid, but I'm fine."
"Really?" She sounded intensely skeptical. "Why do I not believe you?"
"Defect?" Xander shrugged. "I don't know. I just - want my space."
"Xander - we're your friends. We care about you. You've been staying so distant lately and I know Dawn came to see you last night."
He waited for it. She didn't chew him out or punch him. It was a safe bet Dawn didn't confess the entirety of the conversation. That was decent of her. Xander shoved his hands into his pockets.
"What do you want me to say, Buff?"
Her brow wrinkled into a deep frown. "I want you to tell me what's wrong."
"Okay. You're what's wrong."
"Huh?"
"You're badgering me, following me around, giving me orders and telling me what to do. That's what's wrong."
"It's called friendship, Xander. Remember? We need to talk to each other. Don't let each other drift apart until we don't recognize each other anymore."
"You look in a mirror lately?" Xander lifted his brows; he couldn't believe the line she spouted off.
"Am I supposed to understand that?"
"You've been Miss Enigma since the great return. Now, while I don't pretend that you weren't pissed at us for wanting our friend back, we did pull you out of heaven which made most of rank real low on the totem pole. You needed your space, you needed - Spike." His mouth twisted bitterly. 'The last thing you needed was the rest of us. You getting what I'm saying here?"
"But Xander - I did need you." Her over bright eyes sharpened. He watched her work her teeth into her upper lip. She didn't know what to say.
Well that made two of them.
"You had a real funny way of showing it."
"Hey." Buffy looked offended. "I tried to tell you guys, but you were too happy about having me back and we did this already - we worked this out - didn't we?"
"Did we?" Xander shrugged. "I thought it was more a Buffy pity party and how I'm an idiot and a moron because I actually disapprove of you getting down and nasty with a vampire - oh wait - I sang this song before and we had to deal with Angelus. Silly me."
The shot struck the mark hard and fast. He saw the way her expression closed in and her eyes shuttered.
"I want to be left alone, Buffy. I want my space. I want to figure my own head without two cents thrown in by you."
"Xander - "
"What?" His impatience got the better of him; he felt his hands curl into fists. If she were a guy, he'd deck her at the moment. He could feel the anger seething upwards. She just wouldn't shut up and go away. She never knew when to leave it alone, except when it came to her.
Oh, then she knew how to keep her mouth shut.
"I'm sorry." She seemed so helpless, but what a crock. She was a least helpless person he knew. She didn't need him. She didn't want him around unless it was convenient for her.
He averted his gaze from her face and studied the work site. "We're all sorry, Buffy. It doesn't change squat."
"No," her voice was whisper soft. "I guess it doesn't."
He didn't bother to reply. He kept his eyes affixed to the bobcat that was hauling away some debris from the construction. He could almost feel her fidgeting, but he refused to look at her. He sensed more than saw her hand rise twice, only to fall away without touching him.
"I guess - I'll go."
"That would be appreciated." He responded quietly.
"Okay - see you later."
"Yep. See you." His gazed didn't waver from the construction. After an eternity, she finally turned and he heard her walk away. His jaw clenched as the muscles in it tightened.
With excruciating slowness, he uncurled his fists and glanced down at the bloody indentions he'd left with his fingernails.