For Gedia - my fellow shirtless Argentinean lover and Snape stalker and one my favourite reviewers. *hugs*
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In the Great Hall, Ron and Hermione were staring at Kendra in utter disbelief. Only moments ago she had been talking and laughing like the rest of them during their lunch break. She had fallen silent a second later, staring at a spot on Harry's forehead like there had been something on his face. After wiping his forehead and trying to get Kendra's attention, Harry decided that he would take Kendra to Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing.
When he had tried to guide her away from the table by her shoulders, tears had started to spill down Kendra's cheeks. Harry and Parvati had rushed off to find whichever teacher they could first. None of the teachers with the exception of Professor Binns had attended lunch that day and he hardly knew what to do with the crying girl. She was still perched on the bench that lined the long table, turned so that her back was to her lunch plate.
"Kendra?" Hermione asked, hesitating slightly. "Kendra, are you okay?"
The pale girl with dark hair turned slightly, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Tears cut tracks down her face and her breath hitched suddenly in a broken sob. When she raised her hands toward Hermione, she saw that they were trembling violently and soon her sobs broke even the loud chatter of the Hall.
Most of the Slytherins turned toward the sound and a smile broke over Draco's face. Snape was the only one who knew about his punishment and he wasn't at lunch that day, so he felt mostly comfortable calling out to her.
"Still crying over that spell?" he sneered over the table in Kendra's direction. "I certainly wish Oliver would have let you finish your sentence. I'd love to know what you want Snape to do to you."
"Shut up Malfoy," Ron hissed. "You have no idea what's going on."
Kendra's shoulders shook and she bent her head, gasping for air.
"Oh come off it Weasley . . . everyone knows about what happened at the Ball," Draco said, smiling. "She's a slut."
"You watch what you say Malfoy," a voice roared from near the Slytherin table.
Heads turned to find Snape looming over the table, a look of unsuppressed rage on his face. It was more emotion that anyone had seen him express during the last seven years and to everyone's surprise, he didn't try to hide it.
"You will report to my office, immediately," Snape said sharply. "You will wait there until I have dealt with Miss Rayne and I will guarantee you now Mr Malfoy, you will not like what I have to say to you when I get there."
Draco stood, shaking with anger. He said nothing, just slipped into the hall and walked toward Snape's office.
Without another word to any of the students Snape swept past the tables and rushed to Kendra's side. She stared up at him, as if she didn't quite believe that he was there. Her entire body trembled and she started to speak.
"Oh Gods, you . . . Voldemort hurt her." A sob ripped itself from her throat. "He killed her and you watched . . . you watched a-and." She closed her eyes. "Y-you watched and you enjoyed it."
Snape knelt in front of Kendra, unsure of what to do. She was still living in his memory, feeling not only his own pain, but the pain of the witch Voldemort had killed. He didn't know how to handle the delicate emotions of a teenager.
"Janet Logan," Kendra said, staring at Snape with tears still shimmering in her eyes. Mascara had run down her cheeks, creating black stains under each eye. "You're sick!" she hissed suddenly. "Sick! You're a Death Eater!"
Snape grabbed her shoulders tightly and forced Kendra to meet his eyes. "Not anymore," he said in the most assuring voice he could muster. "You know that, not anymore. That is the past."
"And it still haunts you," Kendra murmured, her anger from earlier suddenly draining away. Fresh tears began to fall. "It hurts you so bad . . . the pain is just overwhelming." She stared at him, her hands suddenly clutching the front of his cloak. "Too much," she whimpered, her strength suddenly leaving her.
Snape had to adjust his position in order to hold the extra weight now on him. Kendra's head slumped forward and her shoulders followed a second later. Before Snape could move, her entire body was leaning against him, sobs still wracking her shoulders.
Ron's eyes widened. "Bloody hell," he whispered at the sight of his friend crying into the shoulder of Snape's cloak.
Snape felt long fingers clutching at his neck, a wet face buried into his throat. Her small, lean body shook in his arms with the pain that he had caused her to experience. He collapsed to the floor, his knees giving out under him but it didn't seem to affect Kendra. She just clung to him tighter, both of them hunched on the floor and she sobbed.
"I'm sorry," Snape muttered into her hair, trying to think of the most reassuring thing he could say. "Sorry," he repeated. It was nearly impossible for his mind to comprehend what was happening, he never thought he would be the one to comfort anyone.
"I don't want to live like this," Kendra whispered so softly that Snape wasn't sure he had heard her right. "This pain," she continued in a soft voice, "all this pain is too much. It can't keep hurting me like this, I can't keep feeling your guilt Professor."
Snape looked toward the floor. He couldn't help but feel miserable for the memories that he and Dumbledore were forcing this girl to relive. They weren't even her own memories and yet she always seemed to be there.
Without a word, Kendra unwrapped her arms from around Snape's neck and stood, her legs still shaking slightly. Snape followed a moment later, brushing the dirt off his robes that he had picked up while sitting on the floor. They stared at each other uncertainly, Kendra's tears still drying on her cheeks and Snape suddenly uncomfortable with letting down his bleak and bitter facade.
"Will you be all right Miss Rayne if I leave you to attend to Mr Malfoy?" he asked.
Kendra nodded slowly. "I'll be fine Professor Snape."
He nodded briskly, then turned and left the Great Hall.
"This is too much," Ron said. "First he tells you girls that you look lovely, now he's hugging you? What happened to the real Snape and where did this man come from?"
Kendra stared after the dark figure weaving through the students. "I think he's always been there, he's just been too afraid to show it."
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In the Great Hall, Ron and Hermione were staring at Kendra in utter disbelief. Only moments ago she had been talking and laughing like the rest of them during their lunch break. She had fallen silent a second later, staring at a spot on Harry's forehead like there had been something on his face. After wiping his forehead and trying to get Kendra's attention, Harry decided that he would take Kendra to Madame Pomfrey in the hospital wing.
When he had tried to guide her away from the table by her shoulders, tears had started to spill down Kendra's cheeks. Harry and Parvati had rushed off to find whichever teacher they could first. None of the teachers with the exception of Professor Binns had attended lunch that day and he hardly knew what to do with the crying girl. She was still perched on the bench that lined the long table, turned so that her back was to her lunch plate.
"Kendra?" Hermione asked, hesitating slightly. "Kendra, are you okay?"
The pale girl with dark hair turned slightly, her eyes glazed and unfocused. Tears cut tracks down her face and her breath hitched suddenly in a broken sob. When she raised her hands toward Hermione, she saw that they were trembling violently and soon her sobs broke even the loud chatter of the Hall.
Most of the Slytherins turned toward the sound and a smile broke over Draco's face. Snape was the only one who knew about his punishment and he wasn't at lunch that day, so he felt mostly comfortable calling out to her.
"Still crying over that spell?" he sneered over the table in Kendra's direction. "I certainly wish Oliver would have let you finish your sentence. I'd love to know what you want Snape to do to you."
"Shut up Malfoy," Ron hissed. "You have no idea what's going on."
Kendra's shoulders shook and she bent her head, gasping for air.
"Oh come off it Weasley . . . everyone knows about what happened at the Ball," Draco said, smiling. "She's a slut."
"You watch what you say Malfoy," a voice roared from near the Slytherin table.
Heads turned to find Snape looming over the table, a look of unsuppressed rage on his face. It was more emotion that anyone had seen him express during the last seven years and to everyone's surprise, he didn't try to hide it.
"You will report to my office, immediately," Snape said sharply. "You will wait there until I have dealt with Miss Rayne and I will guarantee you now Mr Malfoy, you will not like what I have to say to you when I get there."
Draco stood, shaking with anger. He said nothing, just slipped into the hall and walked toward Snape's office.
Without another word to any of the students Snape swept past the tables and rushed to Kendra's side. She stared up at him, as if she didn't quite believe that he was there. Her entire body trembled and she started to speak.
"Oh Gods, you . . . Voldemort hurt her." A sob ripped itself from her throat. "He killed her and you watched . . . you watched a-and." She closed her eyes. "Y-you watched and you enjoyed it."
Snape knelt in front of Kendra, unsure of what to do. She was still living in his memory, feeling not only his own pain, but the pain of the witch Voldemort had killed. He didn't know how to handle the delicate emotions of a teenager.
"Janet Logan," Kendra said, staring at Snape with tears still shimmering in her eyes. Mascara had run down her cheeks, creating black stains under each eye. "You're sick!" she hissed suddenly. "Sick! You're a Death Eater!"
Snape grabbed her shoulders tightly and forced Kendra to meet his eyes. "Not anymore," he said in the most assuring voice he could muster. "You know that, not anymore. That is the past."
"And it still haunts you," Kendra murmured, her anger from earlier suddenly draining away. Fresh tears began to fall. "It hurts you so bad . . . the pain is just overwhelming." She stared at him, her hands suddenly clutching the front of his cloak. "Too much," she whimpered, her strength suddenly leaving her.
Snape had to adjust his position in order to hold the extra weight now on him. Kendra's head slumped forward and her shoulders followed a second later. Before Snape could move, her entire body was leaning against him, sobs still wracking her shoulders.
Ron's eyes widened. "Bloody hell," he whispered at the sight of his friend crying into the shoulder of Snape's cloak.
Snape felt long fingers clutching at his neck, a wet face buried into his throat. Her small, lean body shook in his arms with the pain that he had caused her to experience. He collapsed to the floor, his knees giving out under him but it didn't seem to affect Kendra. She just clung to him tighter, both of them hunched on the floor and she sobbed.
"I'm sorry," Snape muttered into her hair, trying to think of the most reassuring thing he could say. "Sorry," he repeated. It was nearly impossible for his mind to comprehend what was happening, he never thought he would be the one to comfort anyone.
"I don't want to live like this," Kendra whispered so softly that Snape wasn't sure he had heard her right. "This pain," she continued in a soft voice, "all this pain is too much. It can't keep hurting me like this, I can't keep feeling your guilt Professor."
Snape looked toward the floor. He couldn't help but feel miserable for the memories that he and Dumbledore were forcing this girl to relive. They weren't even her own memories and yet she always seemed to be there.
Without a word, Kendra unwrapped her arms from around Snape's neck and stood, her legs still shaking slightly. Snape followed a moment later, brushing the dirt off his robes that he had picked up while sitting on the floor. They stared at each other uncertainly, Kendra's tears still drying on her cheeks and Snape suddenly uncomfortable with letting down his bleak and bitter facade.
"Will you be all right Miss Rayne if I leave you to attend to Mr Malfoy?" he asked.
Kendra nodded slowly. "I'll be fine Professor Snape."
He nodded briskly, then turned and left the Great Hall.
"This is too much," Ron said. "First he tells you girls that you look lovely, now he's hugging you? What happened to the real Snape and where did this man come from?"
Kendra stared after the dark figure weaving through the students. "I think he's always been there, he's just been too afraid to show it."
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