Scene Seven
(Hermione and Ron are sitting in the theater that is going to be used for the Ed Sullivan show.)
HERMIONE: So, this is it. This is where they'll be filming Ed Sullivan.
RON: It's wonderful, Hermione. Guess what? I wrote to Mama about dissolving Ronmoler. It's been three days and I haven't heard from her!
HERMIONE: That's great, Ron!
(They start to hug, but are interrupted as Mrs. Weasley comes on stage.)
RON: Mama! What are you doing here?
MRS. WEASLEY: Three days ago I recieved a letter, obviously written under the influence, from my son.
(She takes out the letter and reads it aloud.)
MRS. WEASLEY: Dear Mama, I am dissolving Ronmoler. Your friend, Ron. You will do no such thing. You must keep the company, but hire a new secretary. And lucky for you, I found the perfect girl on the train. Come on out, Fleur!
(Fleur Delecour comes out on stage. [A/N: Think major ditz!])
MRS. WEASLEY: This is Fleur Delecour, your new secretary.
RON: But I don't need a new secretary Mama, I have Hermione!
(Fleur walks up to Ron)
FLEUR: Hey Ronnie! You're cute.
RON: Mama, I don't see the need for a new secretary or typist, I have one already.
FLEUR: I don't just type.
RON: You do other things?
FLEUR: I tap dance! Molly, can you hum Swanee River?
MRS. WEASLEY: One of my favorite tunes.
(This whole time, Fleur has been chewing Droobles Best Blowing Gum. She takes the piece out of her mouth, and hands it to Hermione. She then does her tap dance, which is pretty bad. She ends in a split.)
RON: Uh, do you have to stay down there?
FLEUR: For a few minutes. Molly, help me up. Ronnie, you push from the other side. Easy- ok, there we go.
MRS. WEASLEY: Don't worry, Sonny, they can always cut the ending when they jack her up for the movies.
FLEUR: So, do I get the job?
RON: Well, you certainly have wonderful qualifications. But- I have Hermione.
MRS. WEASLEY: Come on, just give her a try. I have an old typewriter in the back, you can see how fast she types.
RON (to Fleur): Do you use the touch system?
FLEUR: Whenever possible!
(All three exit, leaving Hermione on stage. Harry comes running in.)
HARRY: Miss Granger, I was hoping you'd be here. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you that I will absolutely not let Ginny kiss Draco on that show tomorrow night, and-
(Harry looks up to see that Hermione isn't looking at him)
HARRY: Miss Granger? Miss Granger are you all right? Miss Granger, can I help you?
HERMIONE: Yes, Harry, I think you can.
(The next night, at the Ed Sullivan show.)
ED SULLIVAN: Welcome to the Ed Sullivan show. Tonight we have with us England's music sensation, Draco Malfoy. Also with us is a patriotic English family, the McAfees. Their family consists of the father, Henry, the mother, Doris, a son, Randolph, and a daughter, Ginny, the lucky girl who has been chosen to recieve Draco's final kiss before he leaves for the army. And now, let our show begin!
(The music plays a short fan fare, then stops.) MR. MCAFEE: Where's Ed?
(The music again plays the fanfare, and Draco Malfoy walks out. The girls scream.)
DRACO: (song) Oh one last kiss
Oh give me one last kiss
It never felt like this
No, never felt like this
You know I need your love uh-uh-uh
Oh give me one last kiss.
Oh one more time, oh baby one more time
It really is sublime, oh honey so sublime
You know I need your love uh-uh-uh
Oh give me one last kiss.
(Draco grabs Ginny and starts twirling her around and preparing to kiss her. Mr. McAfee keeps jumping up and starts dancing in front of the camera.)
DRACO: Ba-a-a-a-a-by give me one last kiss
Ba-a-a-a-a-a-by give me one last kiss
Oh one last kiss
Oh give me one last kiss
It never felt like this, no never felt like this
You know I need your love, uh-uh-uh
Oh give me one last kiss
ALL: One last kiss
One last kiss
Oh give me one last kiss
DRACO: Oh baby, one last kiss
ALL: One last kiss
One last kiss
Oh give me one last-
DRACO (spoken, to Ginny): Brace yourself, baby.
(Harry comes running up and grabs Draco's arm)
HARRY: Brace yourself, Draco Malfoy!
(Harry hits Draco. All the girls gasp and scream. The cameras are still running.)
GINNY: Harry, you hit him!
HARRY: Well, he was a thief of love!
GINNY: Harry, I never want to speak to you again!
(Ginny goes running off, followed by her mother and Harry)
RON: Who let that kid in here?
(Hermione comes in)
HERMIONE: I did, Ron. Think of it as sort of a farewell present to you and Miss Delacour.
RON: But Hermione, you can't leave me here... all alone.
HERMIONE: You're not alone, Ron. (She points his head towards the camera) You're on television.
(Hermione exits. Ron goes and tries to pick Draco up.)
RON: For he's a fine upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal, English boy...
ALL: For he's a fine, upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal, English boy!
************************************************************************
A/N: Wow, I have finished Act One. By the way, my show of Bye Bye Birdie opens tonight! I was so nervous because I couldn't hit the notes in my solo (What's the story, morning glory) which was surprising, since it wasn't that high. But I talked to the musical director, and we figured out it was because I was laying on my stomach, so he switched it so I'm sitting up now. I'm so happy! I can't wait for my show!! Wish me luck!!!!
(Hermione and Ron are sitting in the theater that is going to be used for the Ed Sullivan show.)
HERMIONE: So, this is it. This is where they'll be filming Ed Sullivan.
RON: It's wonderful, Hermione. Guess what? I wrote to Mama about dissolving Ronmoler. It's been three days and I haven't heard from her!
HERMIONE: That's great, Ron!
(They start to hug, but are interrupted as Mrs. Weasley comes on stage.)
RON: Mama! What are you doing here?
MRS. WEASLEY: Three days ago I recieved a letter, obviously written under the influence, from my son.
(She takes out the letter and reads it aloud.)
MRS. WEASLEY: Dear Mama, I am dissolving Ronmoler. Your friend, Ron. You will do no such thing. You must keep the company, but hire a new secretary. And lucky for you, I found the perfect girl on the train. Come on out, Fleur!
(Fleur Delecour comes out on stage. [A/N: Think major ditz!])
MRS. WEASLEY: This is Fleur Delecour, your new secretary.
RON: But I don't need a new secretary Mama, I have Hermione!
(Fleur walks up to Ron)
FLEUR: Hey Ronnie! You're cute.
RON: Mama, I don't see the need for a new secretary or typist, I have one already.
FLEUR: I don't just type.
RON: You do other things?
FLEUR: I tap dance! Molly, can you hum Swanee River?
MRS. WEASLEY: One of my favorite tunes.
(This whole time, Fleur has been chewing Droobles Best Blowing Gum. She takes the piece out of her mouth, and hands it to Hermione. She then does her tap dance, which is pretty bad. She ends in a split.)
RON: Uh, do you have to stay down there?
FLEUR: For a few minutes. Molly, help me up. Ronnie, you push from the other side. Easy- ok, there we go.
MRS. WEASLEY: Don't worry, Sonny, they can always cut the ending when they jack her up for the movies.
FLEUR: So, do I get the job?
RON: Well, you certainly have wonderful qualifications. But- I have Hermione.
MRS. WEASLEY: Come on, just give her a try. I have an old typewriter in the back, you can see how fast she types.
RON (to Fleur): Do you use the touch system?
FLEUR: Whenever possible!
(All three exit, leaving Hermione on stage. Harry comes running in.)
HARRY: Miss Granger, I was hoping you'd be here. I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you that I will absolutely not let Ginny kiss Draco on that show tomorrow night, and-
(Harry looks up to see that Hermione isn't looking at him)
HARRY: Miss Granger? Miss Granger are you all right? Miss Granger, can I help you?
HERMIONE: Yes, Harry, I think you can.
(The next night, at the Ed Sullivan show.)
ED SULLIVAN: Welcome to the Ed Sullivan show. Tonight we have with us England's music sensation, Draco Malfoy. Also with us is a patriotic English family, the McAfees. Their family consists of the father, Henry, the mother, Doris, a son, Randolph, and a daughter, Ginny, the lucky girl who has been chosen to recieve Draco's final kiss before he leaves for the army. And now, let our show begin!
(The music plays a short fan fare, then stops.) MR. MCAFEE: Where's Ed?
(The music again plays the fanfare, and Draco Malfoy walks out. The girls scream.)
DRACO: (song) Oh one last kiss
Oh give me one last kiss
It never felt like this
No, never felt like this
You know I need your love uh-uh-uh
Oh give me one last kiss.
Oh one more time, oh baby one more time
It really is sublime, oh honey so sublime
You know I need your love uh-uh-uh
Oh give me one last kiss.
(Draco grabs Ginny and starts twirling her around and preparing to kiss her. Mr. McAfee keeps jumping up and starts dancing in front of the camera.)
DRACO: Ba-a-a-a-a-by give me one last kiss
Ba-a-a-a-a-a-by give me one last kiss
Oh one last kiss
Oh give me one last kiss
It never felt like this, no never felt like this
You know I need your love, uh-uh-uh
Oh give me one last kiss
ALL: One last kiss
One last kiss
Oh give me one last kiss
DRACO: Oh baby, one last kiss
ALL: One last kiss
One last kiss
Oh give me one last-
DRACO (spoken, to Ginny): Brace yourself, baby.
(Harry comes running up and grabs Draco's arm)
HARRY: Brace yourself, Draco Malfoy!
(Harry hits Draco. All the girls gasp and scream. The cameras are still running.)
GINNY: Harry, you hit him!
HARRY: Well, he was a thief of love!
GINNY: Harry, I never want to speak to you again!
(Ginny goes running off, followed by her mother and Harry)
RON: Who let that kid in here?
(Hermione comes in)
HERMIONE: I did, Ron. Think of it as sort of a farewell present to you and Miss Delacour.
RON: But Hermione, you can't leave me here... all alone.
HERMIONE: You're not alone, Ron. (She points his head towards the camera) You're on television.
(Hermione exits. Ron goes and tries to pick Draco up.)
RON: For he's a fine upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal, English boy...
ALL: For he's a fine, upstanding, patriotic, healthy, normal, English boy!
************************************************************************
A/N: Wow, I have finished Act One. By the way, my show of Bye Bye Birdie opens tonight! I was so nervous because I couldn't hit the notes in my solo (What's the story, morning glory) which was surprising, since it wasn't that high. But I talked to the musical director, and we figured out it was because I was laying on my stomach, so he switched it so I'm sitting up now. I'm so happy! I can't wait for my show!! Wish me luck!!!!