Scene Two
(The same night)
DRACO: (song)
There are chicks
Just ripe for the kissin'
And I mean to kiss me a few
Man those chicks don't know what they're missing
I've got a lot of living to do
Sizzling steaks all ready for tasting
And there's firebolts
All shiny and new
Gotta move cause time is a wasting
I got a lot of livin' to do.
(Ginny comes out of her house, Draco moves over to a group of girls.)
GINNY: There are men
Of nineteen or twenty
Who are suave and reckless and true
Older men who give a girl plenty
I got a lot of livin' to do.
DRACO: There's music to play,
Places to go, people to see
Everything for you and me.
(Spoken)
Say, don't you kids live around here?
PARVATI: Yes, Mr. Malfoy!
DRACO: What's the low down on this place?
PARVATI: We are located in England, founded in 1543 by Jerimiah-
DRACO: No, I mean what do you do around here? Where do you go to have a ball?
ALICIA: Well, there's The Three Broomsticks, and all of Hogsmeade, and the older kids go to the ice house.
DRACO: The ice house? What's there?
ALICIA: Well, I don't know. Ice, I guess.
(Ginny comes over) GINNY: It just so happens that the ice house is where people go when they want to be alone.
DRACO: Hey, aren't you that chick I was supposed to kiss?
GINNY: I am not a chick, I'm a fully grown woman, and I intend to be treated as such.
DRACO: Now you're talkin', chick! Let's move! We've got things to do!
(sung) Crazy clothes
And broomstick races
ALL: Someone nice to cuddle up to
Broadway lights and wide open spaces
We've got a lot of livin' to do!
Lots of dates
And no one to scold you
Loop de loop and laugh at the view
Moonlight swims and someone to hold you
Yeah!
We've got a lot of livin' to do!
DRACO: There's music to play
ALL: You know it
DRACO: Places to go
ALL: You know it
DRACO: People to see
Everything
ALL: Yeah!
DRACO: For you and me.
ALL: Oh life's a ball
If only you know it
And it's all just waiting for you
You're alive so come on and show it
Oh we got a lot of livin'
Such a lot of livin'
What a lot of livin' to do!
(The kids cheer and run off stage. Only Harry remains on. Mr. McAfee also comes on.)
HARRY: Ginny! Ginny? Ginny! Oh! Mr. McAfee!
MR. MCAFEE: Have you seen Ginny?
HARRY: She's run off with Draco Malfoy. No doubt they've gone to take moonlight swims, broomstick races, and loop de loop. So I'm doing the only sensible thing to do. I'm going to drink myself to death!
(Harry runs off stage)
MR. MCAFEE: Moonlight swims? Broomstick races?! LOOP DE LOOP?! Doris!
(Mrs. McAfee comes on stage.)
MRS. MCAFEE: What is it, dear?
(Ron comes on)
RON: Mr. McAfee, have you see Draco?
MR. MCAFEE: He and and my daughter have run off together! I'll Avada Kedavra him!
RON: No! Hermione, I need you!
(Ron goes off)
MRS. MCAFEE: You know you can't do that, it's illegal.
MR. MCAFEE (sung):
Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids! Who can understand anything they say?
Kids! They are disobidient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy loafers!
And while we're on the subject-
MRS. MCAFEE:
Kids! They are just impossible to control.
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock and roll!
BOTH:
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?
(Randolph comes on)
Kids!
MR. MCAFEE: I don't mind the moonlight swims, it's the loop de loop that hurts!
BOTH: Kids!
MR. MCAFEE: Why don't they lower the draft age (he looks at Randolph) to about eleven?
BOTH: Kids!
MR. MCAFEE: I didn't know what puberty was till I was almost past it!
BOTH: Laughing, singing, dancing crazy morons!
Why are they so dreadful?
Kids! They are just impossible to control!
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock and roll!
Why can't they be like we were
MR. MCAFEE: Perfect in every way!
RANDOLPH (spoken): Here's my muggle water gun, Pa!
MR. MCAFEE: A water gun? What good's a water gun! Why, a water gun... give it to me.
MR. & MRS. MCAFEE (sung):
What's the matter with kids today?
(The same night)
DRACO: (song)
There are chicks
Just ripe for the kissin'
And I mean to kiss me a few
Man those chicks don't know what they're missing
I've got a lot of living to do
Sizzling steaks all ready for tasting
And there's firebolts
All shiny and new
Gotta move cause time is a wasting
I got a lot of livin' to do.
(Ginny comes out of her house, Draco moves over to a group of girls.)
GINNY: There are men
Of nineteen or twenty
Who are suave and reckless and true
Older men who give a girl plenty
I got a lot of livin' to do.
DRACO: There's music to play,
Places to go, people to see
Everything for you and me.
(Spoken)
Say, don't you kids live around here?
PARVATI: Yes, Mr. Malfoy!
DRACO: What's the low down on this place?
PARVATI: We are located in England, founded in 1543 by Jerimiah-
DRACO: No, I mean what do you do around here? Where do you go to have a ball?
ALICIA: Well, there's The Three Broomsticks, and all of Hogsmeade, and the older kids go to the ice house.
DRACO: The ice house? What's there?
ALICIA: Well, I don't know. Ice, I guess.
(Ginny comes over) GINNY: It just so happens that the ice house is where people go when they want to be alone.
DRACO: Hey, aren't you that chick I was supposed to kiss?
GINNY: I am not a chick, I'm a fully grown woman, and I intend to be treated as such.
DRACO: Now you're talkin', chick! Let's move! We've got things to do!
(sung) Crazy clothes
And broomstick races
ALL: Someone nice to cuddle up to
Broadway lights and wide open spaces
We've got a lot of livin' to do!
Lots of dates
And no one to scold you
Loop de loop and laugh at the view
Moonlight swims and someone to hold you
Yeah!
We've got a lot of livin' to do!
DRACO: There's music to play
ALL: You know it
DRACO: Places to go
ALL: You know it
DRACO: People to see
Everything
ALL: Yeah!
DRACO: For you and me.
ALL: Oh life's a ball
If only you know it
And it's all just waiting for you
You're alive so come on and show it
Oh we got a lot of livin'
Such a lot of livin'
What a lot of livin' to do!
(The kids cheer and run off stage. Only Harry remains on. Mr. McAfee also comes on.)
HARRY: Ginny! Ginny? Ginny! Oh! Mr. McAfee!
MR. MCAFEE: Have you seen Ginny?
HARRY: She's run off with Draco Malfoy. No doubt they've gone to take moonlight swims, broomstick races, and loop de loop. So I'm doing the only sensible thing to do. I'm going to drink myself to death!
(Harry runs off stage)
MR. MCAFEE: Moonlight swims? Broomstick races?! LOOP DE LOOP?! Doris!
(Mrs. McAfee comes on stage.)
MRS. MCAFEE: What is it, dear?
(Ron comes on)
RON: Mr. McAfee, have you see Draco?
MR. MCAFEE: He and and my daughter have run off together! I'll Avada Kedavra him!
RON: No! Hermione, I need you!
(Ron goes off)
MRS. MCAFEE: You know you can't do that, it's illegal.
MR. MCAFEE (sung):
Kids! I don't know what's wrong with these kids today!
Kids! Who can understand anything they say?
Kids! They are disobidient, disrespectful oafs!
Noisy, crazy, sloppy, lazy loafers!
And while we're on the subject-
MRS. MCAFEE:
Kids! They are just impossible to control.
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock and roll!
BOTH:
Why can't they be like we were,
Perfect in every way?
What's the matter with kids today?
(Randolph comes on)
Kids!
MR. MCAFEE: I don't mind the moonlight swims, it's the loop de loop that hurts!
BOTH: Kids!
MR. MCAFEE: Why don't they lower the draft age (he looks at Randolph) to about eleven?
BOTH: Kids!
MR. MCAFEE: I didn't know what puberty was till I was almost past it!
BOTH: Laughing, singing, dancing crazy morons!
Why are they so dreadful?
Kids! They are just impossible to control!
Kids! With their awful clothes and their rock and roll!
Why can't they be like we were
MR. MCAFEE: Perfect in every way!
RANDOLPH (spoken): Here's my muggle water gun, Pa!
MR. MCAFEE: A water gun? What good's a water gun! Why, a water gun... give it to me.
MR. & MRS. MCAFEE (sung):
What's the matter with kids today?