* * * *
Snape and Dumbledore arrived at the Gryffindor common room to find Kendra standing in the midst of some very frightened students. Harry was standing nearby, trying desperately to get close to her but every time he was within her range Kendra would throw something in his direction.
"Miss Rayne," Snape said sharply, pushing his way through the group of students. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
One of her Potions textbooks narrowly missed his head and Kendra stared defiantly at him. It was only then that Snape saw the tears that streaked her face.
"She's finally realized that her parents are dead," Dumbledore murmured.
"Miss Rayne," Snape said, trying again.
"Shut up," she snapped at him. "You have no idea what to say. Your idea of comforting someone is . . . is . . . Gods, it's useless is what it is."
"I will not tolerate being told to shut up," Snape said.
"Severus," Dumbledore murmured warningly. "You're treading on very thin ice."
"Kendra," Harry tried gently. "Just calm down, okay? We can talk about this, you know that. I know you're hurting, but we can help you through it."
"Oh, sod off," Kendra replied.
Snape was completely taken aback by the language that had begun to spew from her mouth.
"My parents are dead because of this," she yelled, pointing to her head. "I don't want this anymore! I didn't ask for it and because of it, they're dead. They won't see me graduate, they won't see me get married and they won't see my children!"
"Mine won't either!" Harry suddenly burst out. "How many times do you think that's gone through my mind? When my friends have their parents beside them, I'll be alone."
"I didn't ask for this ability," Kendra murmured. "I didn't ask to fight against Voldemort."
"No one does child," Dumbledore said, stepping forward. "No one ever asks for the tough tasks that they must face, but if it saving the world was on a volunteer basis do you think it would still be here?"
Kendra let out a strangled sob. "I would give anything to go back to the way things were. Anything."
"We can't go back," Harry said, reaching for her arm and finally succeeding in helping her to a chair. "We can only go forward from where we are."
Realizing that she was finally calm, Snape began to usher students into the dormitories, closing the heavy wooden doors behind them. An uncomfortable silence fell over the room and Snape looked to find Kendra hiding her face in Harry's shoulder as her shoulders heaved angrily. He couldn't tell if she was crying or just furious.
"We've come to tell you about Narcissa," Dumbledore said finally. Five curious faces turned toward him and Snape could see the storm in Kendra's eyes. She was incredibly angry rather than sad, her hands still clenched into tight fists.
As Dumbledore informed them of the specifics of Narcissa's death, Snape studied The Five, marvelling at how much they had changed since their first year at Hogwarts.
Harry, the superstar, now just a regular boy. The novelty of The-Boy-Who-Lived had worn off the other students at Hogwarts after a few years and eventually he was just another face in the crowd. It was apparent that he adored not being the centre of attention and had since flourished, both in his studies and personality.
Ron had become less likely to take an insult about his family. His temper was nearly impossible to keep in check, but Snape had to admit that he admired the boy's determination to stand up for his family. While sometimes the boy might not like them very much, he always seemed to love them.
Parvati, the giggling school girl that Snape had despised from her first Potions class, had come out as an intelligent and stunning young woman. She had matured beyond Lavender, realizing almost too late that there was more to life than boys, makeup and nail polish. She had to save the world, after all.
Kendra had unwillingly been pulled into the spot light, her life on display for all the see. Though a shy girl by nature, her emotions had rampaged over her at every memory that Snape had, her breakdowns a common, though embarrassing occurrence in class. She had proven that her character was far stronger than Snape first assumed, living through his horrible memories and her own.
Hermione was perhaps the least changed of all. She was more confident than she had been in her first year, but she had never exactly been shy. Her intelligence had only climbed, leaving her the top student in the school and yet she had never alienated her friends. Her strength of character had shown time and again and while her grades were important to her, she would always be there for the people she cared about.
Moments later, Snape was left studying five very disgusted faces. Dumbledore had finished telling them of the state Narcissa's body had been in and their reaction was more or less what Snape had expected. Their eyes were wide, some tears forming, but being held back to show their strength. Ron's skin had gone even paler than it normally was and Harry's adam's apple was working in his throat to keep back the bile that was rising.
"Now you understand why I didn't want to tell you," Dumbledore said simply.
"It's better that you did tell us," Hermione said. "We had to know . . . we needed to know what we're facing."
Snape nodded his agreement, though he was out of the students' line of sight. Dumbledore caught his movement however and addressed him a moment later.
"You agree Severus?"
"You know I do Albus."
"And what do you suggest we do next?"
Snape paused, unsure of what he was supposed to say. "I'm sorry?"
"Should we send them out after Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked, gesturing to The Five. "Should we wait for him to attack the school? Tell me your thoughts Severus."
"I . . . you seem s-so certain that I should know our course of action," Snape said uncertainly. "How could I possibly know what the next step should be?"
"You seem to know what is best for these children," Dumbledore said.
Snape caught the hint of sarcasm in the Headmaster's voice and sighed. This was punishment for forcing Dumbledore to tell The Five about Narcissa's death. Snape had convinced Dumbledore that his decision was wrong and now he was supposed to back up his ability to know what was best.
"The Death Eaters will be trying to gather followers soon," Snape said. "Perhaps The Five would be useful in Hogsmeade, staking out where they can."
"And if the Death Eaters visit Diagon Alley instead?" Dumbledore asked.
Snape sighed. "They cannot be everywhere at once Albus. What else would you like me to say?"
"I would like you to tell these students to go to sleep," Dumbledore said. "I would like you to show genuine concern for their wellbeing, rather than having me tell them stories which will only terrify them more. I would like you to show more compassion for a girl who has just lost her family." Dumbledore stood. "In general Severus, I would like you to learn to be human again."
The Headmaster swept past the students and Snape, leaving The Five gaping at the robes that were disappearing through the portrait hole. In a moment Dumbledore was gone, leaving Snape alone and completely furious at the outburst.
"I am human," he muttered vehemently and turned to leave the common room. He had no desire to spend any more time with the Gryffindors than he absolutely had to. It surprised him when not one of the students called him back like they had become so used to doing. Without hesitation he slipped through the portrait hole and waited until it had closed behind him.
"Still at it with the Gryffindors, eh?" The Fat Lady asked.
Snape's mouth tightened into a thin line. He wasn't in a good mood and he didn't need a lecture from a portrait.
"Take it from me Severus," she began.
"Shut up," he hissed. "Just shut up!" He turned to leave, then thought better of it and glared at the portrait. "And don't call me Severus!" he added, then rushed down the hall toward the staircase that would take him to his dungeons.
He hated when the Headmaster treated him like a child. He had been right in having Dumbledore tell The Five about the state of Narcissa's body, he knew he had been right.
"Learn how to be human again," he muttered angrily, entering his bedroom and throwing his robes angrily onto a chair. "Like I'm not a bloody human."
Snape went to his potions cabinet and pulled out the strongest sleeping draught that he could find. Without it he would be up half the night, pacing and worrying about The Five and their fate. He had recently developed insomnia, especially when he was worried about Voldemort and The Five. A sleeping draught usually meant a dreamless sleep, which Snape welcomed because with his dreams often came memories of the past, resulting in horrible nightmares.
Trying to ignore his anger, Snape slipped into his bed and pressed his face into the pillow. All he wanted was sleep, a perfect, dreamless sleep, though when sleep finally came it was far from what he wanted.
* * * *
Snape and Dumbledore arrived at the Gryffindor common room to find Kendra standing in the midst of some very frightened students. Harry was standing nearby, trying desperately to get close to her but every time he was within her range Kendra would throw something in his direction.
"Miss Rayne," Snape said sharply, pushing his way through the group of students. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
One of her Potions textbooks narrowly missed his head and Kendra stared defiantly at him. It was only then that Snape saw the tears that streaked her face.
"She's finally realized that her parents are dead," Dumbledore murmured.
"Miss Rayne," Snape said, trying again.
"Shut up," she snapped at him. "You have no idea what to say. Your idea of comforting someone is . . . is . . . Gods, it's useless is what it is."
"I will not tolerate being told to shut up," Snape said.
"Severus," Dumbledore murmured warningly. "You're treading on very thin ice."
"Kendra," Harry tried gently. "Just calm down, okay? We can talk about this, you know that. I know you're hurting, but we can help you through it."
"Oh, sod off," Kendra replied.
Snape was completely taken aback by the language that had begun to spew from her mouth.
"My parents are dead because of this," she yelled, pointing to her head. "I don't want this anymore! I didn't ask for it and because of it, they're dead. They won't see me graduate, they won't see me get married and they won't see my children!"
"Mine won't either!" Harry suddenly burst out. "How many times do you think that's gone through my mind? When my friends have their parents beside them, I'll be alone."
"I didn't ask for this ability," Kendra murmured. "I didn't ask to fight against Voldemort."
"No one does child," Dumbledore said, stepping forward. "No one ever asks for the tough tasks that they must face, but if it saving the world was on a volunteer basis do you think it would still be here?"
Kendra let out a strangled sob. "I would give anything to go back to the way things were. Anything."
"We can't go back," Harry said, reaching for her arm and finally succeeding in helping her to a chair. "We can only go forward from where we are."
Realizing that she was finally calm, Snape began to usher students into the dormitories, closing the heavy wooden doors behind them. An uncomfortable silence fell over the room and Snape looked to find Kendra hiding her face in Harry's shoulder as her shoulders heaved angrily. He couldn't tell if she was crying or just furious.
"We've come to tell you about Narcissa," Dumbledore said finally. Five curious faces turned toward him and Snape could see the storm in Kendra's eyes. She was incredibly angry rather than sad, her hands still clenched into tight fists.
As Dumbledore informed them of the specifics of Narcissa's death, Snape studied The Five, marvelling at how much they had changed since their first year at Hogwarts.
Harry, the superstar, now just a regular boy. The novelty of The-Boy-Who-Lived had worn off the other students at Hogwarts after a few years and eventually he was just another face in the crowd. It was apparent that he adored not being the centre of attention and had since flourished, both in his studies and personality.
Ron had become less likely to take an insult about his family. His temper was nearly impossible to keep in check, but Snape had to admit that he admired the boy's determination to stand up for his family. While sometimes the boy might not like them very much, he always seemed to love them.
Parvati, the giggling school girl that Snape had despised from her first Potions class, had come out as an intelligent and stunning young woman. She had matured beyond Lavender, realizing almost too late that there was more to life than boys, makeup and nail polish. She had to save the world, after all.
Kendra had unwillingly been pulled into the spot light, her life on display for all the see. Though a shy girl by nature, her emotions had rampaged over her at every memory that Snape had, her breakdowns a common, though embarrassing occurrence in class. She had proven that her character was far stronger than Snape first assumed, living through his horrible memories and her own.
Hermione was perhaps the least changed of all. She was more confident than she had been in her first year, but she had never exactly been shy. Her intelligence had only climbed, leaving her the top student in the school and yet she had never alienated her friends. Her strength of character had shown time and again and while her grades were important to her, she would always be there for the people she cared about.
Moments later, Snape was left studying five very disgusted faces. Dumbledore had finished telling them of the state Narcissa's body had been in and their reaction was more or less what Snape had expected. Their eyes were wide, some tears forming, but being held back to show their strength. Ron's skin had gone even paler than it normally was and Harry's adam's apple was working in his throat to keep back the bile that was rising.
"Now you understand why I didn't want to tell you," Dumbledore said simply.
"It's better that you did tell us," Hermione said. "We had to know . . . we needed to know what we're facing."
Snape nodded his agreement, though he was out of the students' line of sight. Dumbledore caught his movement however and addressed him a moment later.
"You agree Severus?"
"You know I do Albus."
"And what do you suggest we do next?"
Snape paused, unsure of what he was supposed to say. "I'm sorry?"
"Should we send them out after Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked, gesturing to The Five. "Should we wait for him to attack the school? Tell me your thoughts Severus."
"I . . . you seem s-so certain that I should know our course of action," Snape said uncertainly. "How could I possibly know what the next step should be?"
"You seem to know what is best for these children," Dumbledore said.
Snape caught the hint of sarcasm in the Headmaster's voice and sighed. This was punishment for forcing Dumbledore to tell The Five about Narcissa's death. Snape had convinced Dumbledore that his decision was wrong and now he was supposed to back up his ability to know what was best.
"The Death Eaters will be trying to gather followers soon," Snape said. "Perhaps The Five would be useful in Hogsmeade, staking out where they can."
"And if the Death Eaters visit Diagon Alley instead?" Dumbledore asked.
Snape sighed. "They cannot be everywhere at once Albus. What else would you like me to say?"
"I would like you to tell these students to go to sleep," Dumbledore said. "I would like you to show genuine concern for their wellbeing, rather than having me tell them stories which will only terrify them more. I would like you to show more compassion for a girl who has just lost her family." Dumbledore stood. "In general Severus, I would like you to learn to be human again."
The Headmaster swept past the students and Snape, leaving The Five gaping at the robes that were disappearing through the portrait hole. In a moment Dumbledore was gone, leaving Snape alone and completely furious at the outburst.
"I am human," he muttered vehemently and turned to leave the common room. He had no desire to spend any more time with the Gryffindors than he absolutely had to. It surprised him when not one of the students called him back like they had become so used to doing. Without hesitation he slipped through the portrait hole and waited until it had closed behind him.
"Still at it with the Gryffindors, eh?" The Fat Lady asked.
Snape's mouth tightened into a thin line. He wasn't in a good mood and he didn't need a lecture from a portrait.
"Take it from me Severus," she began.
"Shut up," he hissed. "Just shut up!" He turned to leave, then thought better of it and glared at the portrait. "And don't call me Severus!" he added, then rushed down the hall toward the staircase that would take him to his dungeons.
He hated when the Headmaster treated him like a child. He had been right in having Dumbledore tell The Five about the state of Narcissa's body, he knew he had been right.
"Learn how to be human again," he muttered angrily, entering his bedroom and throwing his robes angrily onto a chair. "Like I'm not a bloody human."
Snape went to his potions cabinet and pulled out the strongest sleeping draught that he could find. Without it he would be up half the night, pacing and worrying about The Five and their fate. He had recently developed insomnia, especially when he was worried about Voldemort and The Five. A sleeping draught usually meant a dreamless sleep, which Snape welcomed because with his dreams often came memories of the past, resulting in horrible nightmares.
Trying to ignore his anger, Snape slipped into his bed and pressed his face into the pillow. All he wanted was sleep, a perfect, dreamless sleep, though when sleep finally came it was far from what he wanted.
* * * *