The goose who laid the golden egg.
A/N Dear GOD WHY AM I UPDATEING THIS HORRIBLE THINGY? IT IS A THINGY OF DOOM any way whoo hoo heres an edited thingy
"PULL" Draco bellowed at the top of his lungs causing several ducks to fly off with fright. Several teenagers instantly raised there wands and they looked up at the sky like a urologist that had just seen a speck on the horizon. They continued to stare at the sky for a few moments and they then turned to Draco puzzled.
"Crabbe I said PULL!" Draco bellowed and Crabbe looked up from his precarious position on the catapult.
"There's nothing to pull" he said a puzzled expression on his face and Draco nearly did a little dance of rage.
"What do you mean there's nothing to pull? what happened to the apples?" Draco asked.
"Well..you see , there's a problem with the apples" Crabbe said a pained expression on his face.
" What's the problem with the apples?" Draco asked.
"I ate all the apples!" Crabbe choked and then dove under the catapult as Draco marched towards him.
It was a typical meeting for the dueling club , which had been formed during Draco's second year. The remaining members who were supposed to be practicing there targeting on the air borne apples glared at Crabbe and formed into rough social cliques.
A week had passed , a seemingly normal dull as potions week. Draco could almost forget the sleeping beauty curse , unless he saw the wonder team at breakfast , then the memories would come fluttering back and he'd grind his perfectly capped porcelain teeth together. Draco , telling himself it was for the best had kept his word , after the sleeping beauty fiasco he had pulled out the yellowing news paper articles and that night he had crept up to one of the many towers to perform his deed. Draco shook his head as he remembered the smell of burning magic as he pushed the clippings into the flame , the way her grinning face stared at him as the flames consumed her. Draco was never sure why he kept the clippings , perhaps it was to prove to himself that it was him who had saved her , and not Pot head despite what the rest of the world thought.
"Draco?" Crabbe asked peeking up through the catapults frame.
"Yes?" Draco asked shaking his head distracted.
" Weasley's walking towards us , I think he wants to talk to you" Crabbe managed to choke as he tried to crawl under the catapult and got stuck.
Draco raised a melodramatic silver eye brow and strode towards Ron confidently , his approach was ruined when he tripped over a clump of earth.
"Friggen flobber worms" he swore as he hopped over to Ron clutching onto his injured foot.
"What do you want Weasley?" he hissed as he approached the red headed boy clutching onto his ankle.
"I need to talk to you about what happened last week" Ron said clenching his teeth.
"Don't worry , Pot head and Granger aren't around you can talk to me" Draco drawled sarcastically and Ron's shoulders sagged with relief.
"Thank god , those two are driving me crazy , Hermione's mad at Harry for not helping and Harry's mad at me for kissing Hermione... even though I didn't do it IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Ron said his ears going red.
"I don't even understand why his mad it's not like there a couple or anything" Ron added and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Pretend that I'm not interested in your sick little love triangle and get to the point" Draco said ignoring the stabbing pain in his stomach when he thought of Hermione and Harry being a couple.
"Well what with them barely speaking to each other and neither of them speaking to me , I want to know what's going on Malfoy... I mean who was that chick , you know the blonde one she was really hot!" Ron said an excited expression on his face and Draco suddenly felt extremely nauseous.
" Please Weasley don't say hot and chick in the same sentence it sickens me" Draco drawled as there was a resounding crash and the catapult crashed onto the ground smashing several centuries of antique carved wood work.
"Sorry!" Crabbe's voice cried , Ron turned to Draco an earnest hungry expression on his face.
"You didn't answer my question Malfoy" he said leaning towards him.
" Get away from me you stink beast! she's an elf if you must know!" Draco cried and Ron gave him a puzzled look.
"An elf?" he asked and Draco nodded.
"An elf named Mary Sue" Draco said and Ron nodded thoughtfully.
" Good name , it suites her" Ron admitted and Draco narrowed his dashingly dark and attractive eyes , well technically they were more light greyish then dark but that was besides the point.
" Are your trying to get me to set you two up on a date or do you a legitimate excuse for talking to me?" Draco asked and Ron's cheeks flushed red with rage.
" I want to know what's going on Draco Malfoy" Ron said trying to sound stern but failed miserably after all he was the side kick.
" Why on earth are you asking me? in fact why are you even talking to me? shouldn't Harry be doing the questioning?" Draco asked putting a hand to his chest.
"Not every things about Harry you know , infact there are places in the world maybe not Hogwarts where the name potter is very rarely spoken" Ron said bitterly and Draco raised a silvery eye brow.
"Oh I see that some ones suffering from Potter envy , fine I know of a soul who will know what's going on" Draco said his eyes searching the Hogwarts grounds. In the distance Draco spied what looked like a figure sitting at the base of an elm tree reading a book.
"There that's our girl!" Draco said grabbing Ron's wrist.
"SLYTHERIN" a stern young woman's voice said as Draco grabbed a thick heavy tome out of the her arms and tossed it onto the perfect grass.
"Hufflepuff" Draco retorted and the young woman glared at him with cold calculating hatred. The young woman in question was intellectually good looking , her dark ( dyed) auburn hair was pulled casually away from her face and she was wearing extremely chick reading glasses with bright blue lenses.
"Weasley meet Alexia Green , other wise known as the amazing butt sucker" Draco sneered.
"No one calls me that" Alexia said firmly giving Ron a brief and overall polite smile.
" Little Alexia's only 15 yet some how she's a Hufflepuff seventh year" Draco grinned at made obnoxious but kissing noises.
"Don't listen to him , I moved here from Australia when I was eleven . There university has a different schooling system they start teaching you magic when your nine. When I came here my house head decided that in order to further me in my studies I should be allowed to skip a few grades" Alexia said smugly and Draco rolled his eyes.
"I see that your researching again" Draco said picking up the book.
"Researching? researching what?" Ron asked and a nervous look fleeted across Alexia's face.
"It's NOT important" she said giving Draco a firm look.
"Don't be so modest Alexia , dear little Alexia is about to become the youngest author ever publish by flourish and blotts books limited" Draco smiled and Alexia made inaudible noises under her breath.
"Really! that's great " Ron said completely shocked giving Alexia a warm smile.
" Her books called the amazing trio the eternal love triangle" Draco said casually.
" Really? is it one of those romance novels?" Ron asked a disgustingly thinking of the books his younger sister Ginny read while eating piles of chocolate frogs while declaring she would never find a man like Rodrigo.
"Actually no , it's a biography about two famous wizards and a famous witch" Alexia said giving Draco a pleading glance.
"It's an authorized biography actually Alexia , and you'll never guess who these wizards are!" Draco grinned vindictively and Alexia slowly shook her head.
"Harry Potter and the wonder team!" Draco declared and Ron's eyes went wide with shock.
"WHAT?" he yelled and Alexia had the decency to look guilty.
" Prepare to be sick , tell him how much flourish and blotts are paying you" Draco said sternly.
" There giving me two thousand galleons based on a sample chapter" Alexia said proudly.
"And your saying that the books about us?" Ron asked scarcely able to believe it.
"The public demands more information about you guys , ever since that incident with Granger in the hospital.."
"Which I thought we would never ever DISSCUSS Alexia Green" Draco snapped his eyes narrowing.
"Fine! ever since the THING the public have demanded to know every thing" Alexia grinned.
"Alexia's going to be the youngest author to tackle the subject , and before you think of suing her she's putting a disclaimer on the first page" Draco said enjoying the tension he had created very much.
"I am not affiliated with Harry Potter Warner Brothers or J.K Rowling in any way , I am merely a fan expressing my self creatively" Alexia chimed as if she had said that line many times before.
"Disclaimers! Pffft! as long as you put a disclaimer you could say just about anything. You could write about Harry being as crime lord ten years in the future with Draco as his gay side kick ! you could write several scenes with them making out and sucking each other off in the closet!" Ron cried furiously.
"You've had allot of time to think about this hav'nt you?" Alexia asked an amused expression on her face.
" You , you could write about me getting on with some hot chick while refusing to write who she is! you'll just tease the loyal readers mercilessly while describing our rapid sex scenes!" Ron cried hysterically , his mouth opened ensuring another hysterical rant when Draco's pale slightly weedy fist punched him strait in the jaw.
"What was that for?" Ron asking touching his bruised jaw.
"For being a bloody idiot!" Draco shot back.
"As if any one in there right mind would write a story about you shagging any one remotely attractive , and as for the gay Harry crime lord AS IF" Draco declared and Alexia snickered.
" Draco you sound like an American reject!" she cried and Draco's usual face flushed with anger.
"Alexia I was going to ask you something do to critical importance but I may as well ask Granger now" Draco said casually and Alexia jumped up a pleading expression on her face.
"NO! I'm ever so smart and she always gets to do the research thing! let me help you!" Alexia cried. Draco slowly and deliberately winked at Weasel ( who was still thinking of Slash fics and was now feeling slightly disturbed).
"Well you could tell us about what a magical disturbance is" Draco said slowly and Alexia deflated slightly.
"Oh that's easy A magical disturbance Malfoy , for your big fat information is all to do with balance. Powerful magical objects leak wild magic into our atmosphere ..usually it's only mildly diluted which is where our wand magic comes from. How ever if an object has been used inappropriately the magic leaks every where causing magical disturbances" Alexia said smugly and a little pompously.
"Thank you Alexia , a little bit smug but most satisfactory now excuse us while we go and have a panic attack over here" Draco said and began to walk away.
"It was nice..to meet you" Ron managed to choke and Alexia shrugged her shoulders.
" Eh what ever , I expected you to be taller really" she said shrugging her shoulders.
"Taller? but I'm already bloody six foot!" Ron cried and Draco walked back towards him and grabbed him swiftly by his shoulder.
"Pardon us Alexia , but we have places to go to people to victimize... you know how it is" Draco said giving her his winning smile that caused many girls to write his name on toilet walls.
" The school tyrant can never sleep" Alexia added and Draco winked roguishly at her causing Alexia to roll her eyes.
"If you find anything else on magical disturbances you know where my assistants Crabbe and Goyle live" Draco called over his shoulder and when he was firmly out of site Alexia sighed and very nearly swooned.
"Gods he looks just like that guy from N*sync" she sighed leaning against the tree trunk.
The trouble with the beans had started with Dawn the environmentalist third year Raven Claw . Dawn herself was hardly a key player in this story , but the beans she happened to plant a few yards away from the forbidden forest were. Dawn who was a proud feministic member of the dueling club had decided to bury all the vegetables she could get her hands on in order to stop Draco from using them for targeting.
"I'm sorry Draco I tried to stop her , but she wouldn't listen!" Seamus Finnigan cried as Draco pushed him roughly aside a furious expression on his perfectly poised face.
"Dawn Blau?" Draco bellowed walking towards a four metre deep pit. A head peaked out a bushy messy mud covered thirteen year old head with an angry expression on her face.
"Don't even think about trying to stop me! it's cruel an inhumane killing innocent fauna at the time of there lives for your sick sadistic purposes!" Dawn cried waving her spade in the air like a truncheon. Perhaps it was time for some back round history on Dawn , Dawn the youngest member of the dueling club had joined on her eleventh birthday claiming the club was sexist and that she was joining for woman every where. She was rather shocked how ever , when she discovered that some of the clubs best duelers such as Angelina Johnson were women. After the older female members left Hogwarts Dawn decided it was her duty to rally all the younger female members together and hold a bra burning in protest of Draco's smarmy sleazy approach to woman. Once again Dawn was humiliated , while the other girls burnt there satin push up pieces of lingerie wonder Dawn had nothing to burn but her wooly vest her grandmother had sent her for Christmas. Now Dawn was protesting on the vegetables and pieces of fruit the dueling club used for targeting practice.
" Your not making any sense granola breath , your a vegetarian there fore you eat vegetables there fore you are the sickest most sadistic one of all" Draco said sarcastically and Dawn growled under her breath.
" I eat the vegetables Malfoy , I don't waste there innocent lives for a pathetic barbaric form of violence" she pressed on and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Dawn the fruit we use is rotten , there innocent lives are long over" Draco reminded her , Dawn gave Draco a triumphant look.
"Oh really and what do you call these?" she asked thrusting her opened hand under Draco's nose. Draco squinted at several goldish round slightly deformed objects.
"Badly made Christmas decorations?" he asked and Dawn snorted.
"NO! there beans magic beans bursting with life and opportunities. Some one decided it would be funny to put an engorging charm on them and blow them up!" Dawn cried hysterically glaring at her older brother Charles Blau who was looking extremely sheepish.
" Magic beans?" Draco asked and Dawn looked a bit sheepish.
"Well I'm not quite sure if there really magic , some one could have just sprayed some baked beans with gold paint. But that doesn't matter it's still a living creature that should be allowed to fulfill it's destiny!! it could grow into..a...er bean stalk!" Dawn cried trying desperately to make an intelligent comment.
" Dawn , please shut the hell up" Draco snapped and Dawn growled with rage.
"Your just angry because once again some one else rescued your precious Granger" she muttered under her breath.
"Wait , how did you know about that?" Draco asked his eyes widening with shock.
"The whole school knows about it Draco , you fancy the robes of Hermione Granger" Dawn replied.
"I do not fancy the robes off her , nor do I fancy any other part of her clothing!" Draco snapped and Dawn rolled her brown eyes.
"Please I heard all about it in the girls toilet this morning" Dawn replied as if that made it true.
"Now if you don't mind I need to get back to planting the beans" Dawn replied disappearing back into her hole.
"If your just planting the beans then why the hell do you need a hole that deep?" Draco bellowed and Charles Blau tapped Draco on the shoulder.
"She's insists on burying all our supplies for the next six months" Charles said calmly. Draco's eyes slowly went wide and his neck began to stiffen. His teeth clenched together with frustration and it all became a bit to much for him.
"If any one wants me I'll be in the prefects bathroom taking a bubble bath!" he cried dramatically before stalking off.
By that night Draco was feeling allot better , he was spruced buffed up and shiny..smelling vaguely like jasmine. His feet had been scrubbed with pumice and rubbed in with chamomile oil , his skin had been exfoliated. He had even performed a tooth whitening spell on his pearly whites. Now he laid on his back while his own personal house elf massaged his shoulders and told him he had a lot of tension in his back.
"Tell me about it , the world is trying to drive me insane!" Draco cried wincing slightly as the house elf continued to slap his back.
Crabbe was sitting on the window sill staring out at the night sky his book of fairy tales on his lap. Occasionally he would turn to a certain page in his book stare at it and then continue to stair out the window with wonder.
" Crabbe , what on earth are you staring at? did some one hit you on the back of your head with a baby mandrake?" Draco asked and Crabbe turned to him.
"There's a bean stalk , out side ...there might be giants" Crabbe said hopefully.
" Oh yes Dawn planted some beans out on the grounds this morning.. she must have put a fertilizing potion on them to make the stalk. Still I'm surprised you can see it...your eye site must be pretty good" Draco said his mind feeling like pink fairy floss as he fully relaxed into his massage.
"Well it's pretty big Draco" Crabbe said cheerfully still looking out the window. Draco pushed the house elf away and signaled for it leave he then walked towards the window in his boxer shorts and not much else.
" See Crabbe nothing to worry about , it's a perfectly normal gigantic bean stalk" Draco said groggily as he peered out into the night time gloom. Draco's eyes slowly grew with realization and his mouth formed a grim line.
"Oh shit" he swore and a voice , a seductive honey voice dripping with perfection and feminine beauty whispered in his ear.
"Oh shit is right Malfoy" and Draco looked into the sky blue gorgeous eyes of Mary Sue.
Chapter five : The goose who laid the golden egg
Hermione was annoyed , more then annoyed actually she was bloody pissed off.
"I'm meant to be the leading the female character in this narrative and the bloody environmentalist gets more lines then I do!" she cried clutching onto the front of her pale pink dressing robe. She was in her standard romantic heroine pose by the large open window even though it was freezing cold and it was beginning to snow. She shivered slightly , from a mixture of annoyance and cold. Her warm comfortable pajamas were in the laundry and she was forced to wear the expensive silk camisole her aunts had bought her for her sixteenth birthday. It was a gorgeous raspberry red concoction but it was completely impractical for the freezing Scottish weather. It also went rather badly with her messy slightly damped knotty hair that had been scraped back with a hair tie and her tatty old carpet slippers. Hermione was never sure what drew her to the window that night , perhaps it was all part of some sort of divine plan or perhaps she needed to get some fresh air in order to get rid of the smell of Lavenders perfume. The horrendous oily scent had wormed its way out of the thick glass bottles on Lavenders messy desk and it was now filling the room with choking clouds. Not that the other girls would notice , they were still down stairs in the common room comparing there divination notes while trying to look at Harry's ass indiscreetly. Hermione wasn't quite sure what was so appealing about doing this , after all Harry was rather on the scrawny side. She sighed the way most heroines do and watched as tiny flakes of snow began to fall settling on the window sill. The cold hair blasted at her cheeks like the air conditioning in her parents dental surgery and she shivered trying to draw her bathrobe over her ample cleavage.
"In the dark of the blackest night" she spoke softly almost singing under her breath watching the white mist rise from the freezing ground.
"I can see that there a burning light , burning bright.." she sang softly and slightly distracted as her eyes were drawn to a tiny speck of light in the fog some distance away. As she watched with detached interest another tiny light joined it bopping amongst the mist uncertainly. Hermione s curiosity grew , what on earth was some one doing out on a freezing night like this?
" Draco it's freezing cant we go back to our room?" Crabbe asked his lips blue with the cold.
"Don't blame me your the one who forgot your jacket" Draco scolded as they stumped across the grounds towards the bean stalk. Draco clutched the front of his very stylish black leather jacket to his chest and adjusted his thick agora wool green scarf trying to keep out the blistering cold. He glances over at Crabbe's shivering blubber and he rolled his eyes with exasperation.
"Get over here you big oaf" Draco said taking his leather jacket off , underneath he was wearing his thick dark green hooded jumper. Crabbe put the jacket on thankfully , fortunately it was several sizes to big for Draco ( who had won it off a Gryffindor seventh year during his third year in a duel) and it fit Crabbe rather snugly. Draco slowly held his wand up his teeth chattering together in the sky he could see the faint line of a full moon and he couldn't help remember that professor Lupin who had returned two years previously was a were wolf. Mary sue stepped forwards out of the mist and coughed politely trying to get Draco's attention. She was posing in the way girls do when they want to be praised for there current appearance.
" Very nice but completely impractical for a freezing cold winters night" Draco commented and Mary Sues eyes went wide with out rage.
"Don't you know any thing you stupid mortal boy? this gown is made out of the finest form of silk in the known world" she said spinning around for dramatic emphasis. The dress was designed to be the end of all dresses , it clung in the right places and was made out of a material so fine it almost seemed to be rapped up moon light. The top Draco noted showed off allot of Mary sues ample white cleavage which was only emphasized by the heavy dew drop opal necklace she had fastened around her throat.
"Fine it's pretty , it's very glittery and... oh" Draco said trying to think of a word.
"Pretty!" Crabbe said helpfully and Mary Sue narrowed her eyes dangerously.
"This dress is more then pretty , its fantastical its wonderful its the best thing you'll ever see in your lives and all you can say is that its pretty" Mary Sue snarled hitching up the shimmering skirts and stomping away.
"Wait! its er very pretty!" Draco cried running after Mary Sue , he wasn't used to dealing with temperamental females.
"Why are you wearing it any way?" Draco asked when he finally caught up to her and Mary Sue looked a bit sheepish.
"Well there's this big upper class party in the fairy ring next week , I've never been to one of them before and ... I sort of wanted an opinion on my dress before I go" Mary Sue said and her face was robbed from its usual haughty self confidence.
" Its a dress , what else can I say?" Draco asked impatiently and as he turned around Mary Sue frowned slightly feeling slightly hurt , it wasn't a feeling she was used to.
Hermione had always prided herself on her no nonsense approach to life , she knew that she had been born with messy brown hair and buck teeth thus ruining her chances of ever having a scandalous love affair. At the age of 13 she told her self during one of her private dates in the library that it was time to give up all the silly romantic nonsense and resort to being calm practical and good in a crisis. Of course deep down in the private parts of Hermione's soul she longed for adventure. She longed to be swept up by a dark dashing individual preferably with a name like Darcy while she revealed allot of bosom in a low cut medieval corset..but not to much bosom after all Hermione was still respectable. Now Hermione found her self doing something she had never dared to do with out Harry or Ron , wander around the Hogwarts in the middle of the night. The lights she had seen on the misty field had filled her with a vague sense of curiosity and adventure that she usually only felt when Harry was around .Tweaking her camisole down slightly in case she ran into a dark and attractive man , after all you never knew...she set out into the night.
" Well , from now on I know to never doubt Dawn again!" Draco cried as his neck made a rather ominous clicking sound. He peered up at the gigantic bean stalk which disappeared out of vision after several hundred miles.
"Some one approaches...." Mary Sue said her ears twitching slightly , as soon as she spoke a mournful howl erupted across the grounds. Draco's eyes were slowly drawn to the starry night and as he watched the clouds disappeared revealing a very full rather bloated moon.
"Cursed griffindors!..Snape wouldn't be so stupid!" he muttered with apprehension and once again a howl erupted breaking the silence.
"Werewolf! quick every one put on some silver under wear!" Draco cried hysterically.
Hermione paused slightly mid marched as her slipper encased foot almost stepped on something. She reached down and in the gloom saw the faintest glimmer of glass. Something was seeping off the glass , a faint pinkish vapour that smelt like rotten flowers and chocolate.
"A love potion... but those are illegal in Hogwarts" Hermione began her brow wrinkled with confusion , and once again there was a howl.
" Quick! Climb the bean stalk!" Mary Sue cried gesturing them towards the gigantic vegetable mutation,.
"What are you insane? that things gigantic!" Draco cried .
"What about a broom stick?" Crabbe suggested almost sounding helpful.
"A broom stick? a broom stick!" Draco cried thankfully and pointed his wand vaguely at the direction of the Slytherin dormitory.
"Accio Nimbus 2000!" Draco cried flipping aside his hair for dramatic affect.
Hermione paused slightly as she reached Hogwarts main entrance. Was it her imagination , or had she just heard an almost snuffling scratching sound. Her heart pounding slightly in her chest Hermione bolted towards the doors and as quickly as possible snuck out. Instantly she realized her mistake as the gigantic heavy doors slammed shut behind her. Hermione ignoring the snuffling noises behind her ran as fast as she could towards the forbidden forest...although it seemed many miles away. The snuffling disappeared but to Hermione's terror was replaced with the pattering of running paws and a terrifying howl , she wanted adventure and look where it took her. Hermione crying fearfully slipped over the wet grass her hair tangling itself into knots behind her. Never look back , you don't want to know what's behind you a memory hissed in her mind as she remembered the last words Harry had muttered to her before she woke up alone and cold in a hospital bed. Unfortunately Hermione at that second skidded on the dripping wet grass and crashed into a painful heap on the wet muddy earth. Frantically she tried to sit up once again , but the snow which was now melting into freezing slushy piles made that impossible. Her eyes look up and she saw it , the wolf. Hermione instantly recognized it as a werewolf , it had all the classic markings she had learned in her first year. The wolf stood still , steam rising off its shiny gray coat and it seemed to glare at her... it wanted to chase her.
"Professor Lupine! its me!" Hermione cried desperately slipping on the ground, The wolf continued to glare at her...and then in lunged.
It was funny , Hermione had expected extreme pain , however all she could feel was the licking of a dogs tongue and the frantic jumping that half grown puppies always did when they reached puberty. With horror Hermione tried desperately to push the mangy thing off her , it all made sense. Professor Lupine was on heat! Snape must have mixed up the potions which accounted for the broken glass Hermione had found in the hall way. Hermione began to scream hysterically with horror remembering the time her aunts poodle had attacked the dining room table in a similar way. As she frantically tried to kick Professor Lupine away she suddenly felt a pair of thick arms grab her by her camisoles straps. Hermione to her extreme shock felt her self being lifted upwards and the thick arms transferred themselves to her waist hauling her up onto a broom stick.
"Ello Hermione!" a voice cried cheerfully , it was Crabbe.
"Crabbe?" Hermione asked extremely shocked as she secured her self onto the broom stick properly .
"That's me!" Crabbe cried cheerfully and Hermione felt extremely faint.
"What on earth are you doing up here?" she asked fearfully , and Draco pulled up along side her on another broom stick a sardonic expression on his face.
"Saving your arse , that's what his doing" he smiled and Hermione glared at him her lip trembling slightly.
"It was you out on the grass! don't you realize how dangerous it is wandering around when there's a werewolf on heat loose?" she scolded and Draco flew closer to her extending a hand.
"Hop onto my broom stick , Crabbe's cant carry your weight as well as his" Draco said rationally and Hermione's lips pressed together with rage.
"There is no way I'm sharing a broom stick with you Malfoy!" she snapped and Draco simply rolled his eyes.
"Fine then plunge to your doom see if I care!" he said and Crabbe's broom stick creaked ominously. Hermione frowned slightly and then with a moment of stupid bravery reached forward grabbing onto Draco's hand. Instantly Hermione was torn of Crabbe's broomstick , and to her extreme terror she found herself clinging onto Draco's hand for dear life.
"Calm down Granger , I'm not going to drop you!" Draco snapped and pulled Hermione towards his broom stick. Hermione grabbed onto it desperately and half slipping hauled herself up onto it.
"I hate flying !" she snapped grabbing onto Draco's shoulders for support.
"Well that's obviously , now Granger please tell me ..why are you out here in a flimsy night dress?" Draco asked and Hermione blushed slightly as Draco eyed the cleavage peeking out of her camisole.
"I was curious I guess..." she admitted sheepishly and Draco snickered slightly.
"Well wonders never cease , practical Granger actually has some spine in her after all" he grinned wolfishly in the moon light and Hermione looked at him suspiciously. Was it her imagination , or where his teeth slightly more pointy then usual?
"Why are you here Malfoy?" she asked coldly.
"To investigate that giant bean stalk" Draco commented.
"Don't be ridicules! the species known as the common giant bean stalk has been instinct for over four hundred years.. giant slayers burnt all of them" Hermione tutted.
"I'm not sure if what we have here happens to be a conventional bean stalk" Draco replied as they swooped in closer.
In the rain splattering streets of diagon alley a single figure dressed in thick black robes raced across in the rain. It paused at one of the doors and hammered its hulking frame against the cheap woodwork. The door creaked open slowly.
"The dark side of the moon is home to the shadows" the figure in the hood said.
"Merrily towards the fire the manticore dances towards its doom" the other voice replied.
"Look I think that's enough , frankly its pissing down here... so let me in" the hooded figure growled threatening. There were several thudding noises.
"It appears that the doors stuck" the voice replied and the figure growled with rage . It slammed its hulking body against the wood work and it snapped open breaking on its hinges. There were ten figures in hoods , there faces clouded in mystic darkness.
"EER! you just broke that door you great brute! the land ladies going to be spewing when she finds out what you've done " the smallest hooded figure scolded and the tallest one gave him , not a dirty look because his face was covered in black.. more of a filthy pause.
"Not that moneys important" the smallest figure said carefully.
"I brought it ... it took me a while to get it out of the idiots arms but here it is" the hooded figure answered and there leader nodded. The hulking figure walked slowly towards him and with great honor placed something in front of there leader. In the dim light , it was pale pink and scruffy .. a well worn and much loved teddy bear.
"You have done well number eight , from now on you will be known as number seven and three quarters" the leader said his voice dripping with malignance.
"Hey I thought I was brother seven and three quarters!" the former brother seven and three quarters suddenly declared. The leader rolled his eyes , they were all idiots of course.. not one of them knew a decent jinx amongst them. But the leader had been a death eater for a long time , and he knew that a truly good death eater had to be the most intelligent person in the room. Let the other little clichés have there murderers there cursers and there planners... he would have the idiots , they were determined and they would never ever betray him.
" Brothers step forward into the circle of darkness! for today we will rule!" he cried and brother three coughed politely.
"Rule? I don't know about that...I mean I'm just a door to door cauldron seller" he said.
"Don't be an idiot , his going to teach us the ultimate secrets of the dark arts.. that he learnt from he who must not be named aren't cha?" Number three said excitingly.
"Yes brother three , now inside this teddy are the secrets to the universe!" he cried dramatically.
"Gosh" the assembled brothers cried.
"So your looking for a teddy bear?" Hermione asked as Draco finished his story. Draco had of course blurred over significant details , such as him being prince charming .
"Well basically yes , but according to Mary Sue ..this elf wench were also helping her look for a magical object of some sort" Draco answered as they flew closer to the bean stalk.
"Have you ever thought , that they might be one and the same?" Hermione asked.
"Ok that's just stupid , Granger you need to stop reading plot devices into every situation" Draco commented and Hermione bristled.
"I would be much obliged if you drop me off at my window" she said curtly.
" Unfortunately I cant do that Granger , we are heading for the top" Draco said pointing upwards. Hermione was about to scream in protest but paused when she thought about her evening plans. What did she have to look forward to? besides reading a novel and drinking hot chocolate? there was a certain point in Hermione's life when she knew that the right thing to do had to be the wrong thing... she had felt it in her fifth year when she had chased after Harry on the fateful night and she felt it now.
"Malfoy , I'm going with you" she said firmly.
A/N That's enough for now.. sorry about the long wait the next part should be longer.
A/N Dear GOD WHY AM I UPDATEING THIS HORRIBLE THINGY? IT IS A THINGY OF DOOM any way whoo hoo heres an edited thingy
"PULL" Draco bellowed at the top of his lungs causing several ducks to fly off with fright. Several teenagers instantly raised there wands and they looked up at the sky like a urologist that had just seen a speck on the horizon. They continued to stare at the sky for a few moments and they then turned to Draco puzzled.
"Crabbe I said PULL!" Draco bellowed and Crabbe looked up from his precarious position on the catapult.
"There's nothing to pull" he said a puzzled expression on his face and Draco nearly did a little dance of rage.
"What do you mean there's nothing to pull? what happened to the apples?" Draco asked.
"Well..you see , there's a problem with the apples" Crabbe said a pained expression on his face.
" What's the problem with the apples?" Draco asked.
"I ate all the apples!" Crabbe choked and then dove under the catapult as Draco marched towards him.
It was a typical meeting for the dueling club , which had been formed during Draco's second year. The remaining members who were supposed to be practicing there targeting on the air borne apples glared at Crabbe and formed into rough social cliques.
A week had passed , a seemingly normal dull as potions week. Draco could almost forget the sleeping beauty curse , unless he saw the wonder team at breakfast , then the memories would come fluttering back and he'd grind his perfectly capped porcelain teeth together. Draco , telling himself it was for the best had kept his word , after the sleeping beauty fiasco he had pulled out the yellowing news paper articles and that night he had crept up to one of the many towers to perform his deed. Draco shook his head as he remembered the smell of burning magic as he pushed the clippings into the flame , the way her grinning face stared at him as the flames consumed her. Draco was never sure why he kept the clippings , perhaps it was to prove to himself that it was him who had saved her , and not Pot head despite what the rest of the world thought.
"Draco?" Crabbe asked peeking up through the catapults frame.
"Yes?" Draco asked shaking his head distracted.
" Weasley's walking towards us , I think he wants to talk to you" Crabbe managed to choke as he tried to crawl under the catapult and got stuck.
Draco raised a melodramatic silver eye brow and strode towards Ron confidently , his approach was ruined when he tripped over a clump of earth.
"Friggen flobber worms" he swore as he hopped over to Ron clutching onto his injured foot.
"What do you want Weasley?" he hissed as he approached the red headed boy clutching onto his ankle.
"I need to talk to you about what happened last week" Ron said clenching his teeth.
"Don't worry , Pot head and Granger aren't around you can talk to me" Draco drawled sarcastically and Ron's shoulders sagged with relief.
"Thank god , those two are driving me crazy , Hermione's mad at Harry for not helping and Harry's mad at me for kissing Hermione... even though I didn't do it IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Ron said his ears going red.
"I don't even understand why his mad it's not like there a couple or anything" Ron added and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Pretend that I'm not interested in your sick little love triangle and get to the point" Draco said ignoring the stabbing pain in his stomach when he thought of Hermione and Harry being a couple.
"Well what with them barely speaking to each other and neither of them speaking to me , I want to know what's going on Malfoy... I mean who was that chick , you know the blonde one she was really hot!" Ron said an excited expression on his face and Draco suddenly felt extremely nauseous.
" Please Weasley don't say hot and chick in the same sentence it sickens me" Draco drawled as there was a resounding crash and the catapult crashed onto the ground smashing several centuries of antique carved wood work.
"Sorry!" Crabbe's voice cried , Ron turned to Draco an earnest hungry expression on his face.
"You didn't answer my question Malfoy" he said leaning towards him.
" Get away from me you stink beast! she's an elf if you must know!" Draco cried and Ron gave him a puzzled look.
"An elf?" he asked and Draco nodded.
"An elf named Mary Sue" Draco said and Ron nodded thoughtfully.
" Good name , it suites her" Ron admitted and Draco narrowed his dashingly dark and attractive eyes , well technically they were more light greyish then dark but that was besides the point.
" Are your trying to get me to set you two up on a date or do you a legitimate excuse for talking to me?" Draco asked and Ron's cheeks flushed red with rage.
" I want to know what's going on Draco Malfoy" Ron said trying to sound stern but failed miserably after all he was the side kick.
" Why on earth are you asking me? in fact why are you even talking to me? shouldn't Harry be doing the questioning?" Draco asked putting a hand to his chest.
"Not every things about Harry you know , infact there are places in the world maybe not Hogwarts where the name potter is very rarely spoken" Ron said bitterly and Draco raised a silvery eye brow.
"Oh I see that some ones suffering from Potter envy , fine I know of a soul who will know what's going on" Draco said his eyes searching the Hogwarts grounds. In the distance Draco spied what looked like a figure sitting at the base of an elm tree reading a book.
"There that's our girl!" Draco said grabbing Ron's wrist.
"SLYTHERIN" a stern young woman's voice said as Draco grabbed a thick heavy tome out of the her arms and tossed it onto the perfect grass.
"Hufflepuff" Draco retorted and the young woman glared at him with cold calculating hatred. The young woman in question was intellectually good looking , her dark ( dyed) auburn hair was pulled casually away from her face and she was wearing extremely chick reading glasses with bright blue lenses.
"Weasley meet Alexia Green , other wise known as the amazing butt sucker" Draco sneered.
"No one calls me that" Alexia said firmly giving Ron a brief and overall polite smile.
" Little Alexia's only 15 yet some how she's a Hufflepuff seventh year" Draco grinned at made obnoxious but kissing noises.
"Don't listen to him , I moved here from Australia when I was eleven . There university has a different schooling system they start teaching you magic when your nine. When I came here my house head decided that in order to further me in my studies I should be allowed to skip a few grades" Alexia said smugly and Draco rolled his eyes.
"I see that your researching again" Draco said picking up the book.
"Researching? researching what?" Ron asked and a nervous look fleeted across Alexia's face.
"It's NOT important" she said giving Draco a firm look.
"Don't be so modest Alexia , dear little Alexia is about to become the youngest author ever publish by flourish and blotts books limited" Draco smiled and Alexia made inaudible noises under her breath.
"Really! that's great " Ron said completely shocked giving Alexia a warm smile.
" Her books called the amazing trio the eternal love triangle" Draco said casually.
" Really? is it one of those romance novels?" Ron asked a disgustingly thinking of the books his younger sister Ginny read while eating piles of chocolate frogs while declaring she would never find a man like Rodrigo.
"Actually no , it's a biography about two famous wizards and a famous witch" Alexia said giving Draco a pleading glance.
"It's an authorized biography actually Alexia , and you'll never guess who these wizards are!" Draco grinned vindictively and Alexia slowly shook her head.
"Harry Potter and the wonder team!" Draco declared and Ron's eyes went wide with shock.
"WHAT?" he yelled and Alexia had the decency to look guilty.
" Prepare to be sick , tell him how much flourish and blotts are paying you" Draco said sternly.
" There giving me two thousand galleons based on a sample chapter" Alexia said proudly.
"And your saying that the books about us?" Ron asked scarcely able to believe it.
"The public demands more information about you guys , ever since that incident with Granger in the hospital.."
"Which I thought we would never ever DISSCUSS Alexia Green" Draco snapped his eyes narrowing.
"Fine! ever since the THING the public have demanded to know every thing" Alexia grinned.
"Alexia's going to be the youngest author to tackle the subject , and before you think of suing her she's putting a disclaimer on the first page" Draco said enjoying the tension he had created very much.
"I am not affiliated with Harry Potter Warner Brothers or J.K Rowling in any way , I am merely a fan expressing my self creatively" Alexia chimed as if she had said that line many times before.
"Disclaimers! Pffft! as long as you put a disclaimer you could say just about anything. You could write about Harry being as crime lord ten years in the future with Draco as his gay side kick ! you could write several scenes with them making out and sucking each other off in the closet!" Ron cried furiously.
"You've had allot of time to think about this hav'nt you?" Alexia asked an amused expression on her face.
" You , you could write about me getting on with some hot chick while refusing to write who she is! you'll just tease the loyal readers mercilessly while describing our rapid sex scenes!" Ron cried hysterically , his mouth opened ensuring another hysterical rant when Draco's pale slightly weedy fist punched him strait in the jaw.
"What was that for?" Ron asking touching his bruised jaw.
"For being a bloody idiot!" Draco shot back.
"As if any one in there right mind would write a story about you shagging any one remotely attractive , and as for the gay Harry crime lord AS IF" Draco declared and Alexia snickered.
" Draco you sound like an American reject!" she cried and Draco's usual face flushed with anger.
"Alexia I was going to ask you something do to critical importance but I may as well ask Granger now" Draco said casually and Alexia jumped up a pleading expression on her face.
"NO! I'm ever so smart and she always gets to do the research thing! let me help you!" Alexia cried. Draco slowly and deliberately winked at Weasel ( who was still thinking of Slash fics and was now feeling slightly disturbed).
"Well you could tell us about what a magical disturbance is" Draco said slowly and Alexia deflated slightly.
"Oh that's easy A magical disturbance Malfoy , for your big fat information is all to do with balance. Powerful magical objects leak wild magic into our atmosphere ..usually it's only mildly diluted which is where our wand magic comes from. How ever if an object has been used inappropriately the magic leaks every where causing magical disturbances" Alexia said smugly and a little pompously.
"Thank you Alexia , a little bit smug but most satisfactory now excuse us while we go and have a panic attack over here" Draco said and began to walk away.
"It was nice..to meet you" Ron managed to choke and Alexia shrugged her shoulders.
" Eh what ever , I expected you to be taller really" she said shrugging her shoulders.
"Taller? but I'm already bloody six foot!" Ron cried and Draco walked back towards him and grabbed him swiftly by his shoulder.
"Pardon us Alexia , but we have places to go to people to victimize... you know how it is" Draco said giving her his winning smile that caused many girls to write his name on toilet walls.
" The school tyrant can never sleep" Alexia added and Draco winked roguishly at her causing Alexia to roll her eyes.
"If you find anything else on magical disturbances you know where my assistants Crabbe and Goyle live" Draco called over his shoulder and when he was firmly out of site Alexia sighed and very nearly swooned.
"Gods he looks just like that guy from N*sync" she sighed leaning against the tree trunk.
The trouble with the beans had started with Dawn the environmentalist third year Raven Claw . Dawn herself was hardly a key player in this story , but the beans she happened to plant a few yards away from the forbidden forest were. Dawn who was a proud feministic member of the dueling club had decided to bury all the vegetables she could get her hands on in order to stop Draco from using them for targeting.
"I'm sorry Draco I tried to stop her , but she wouldn't listen!" Seamus Finnigan cried as Draco pushed him roughly aside a furious expression on his perfectly poised face.
"Dawn Blau?" Draco bellowed walking towards a four metre deep pit. A head peaked out a bushy messy mud covered thirteen year old head with an angry expression on her face.
"Don't even think about trying to stop me! it's cruel an inhumane killing innocent fauna at the time of there lives for your sick sadistic purposes!" Dawn cried waving her spade in the air like a truncheon. Perhaps it was time for some back round history on Dawn , Dawn the youngest member of the dueling club had joined on her eleventh birthday claiming the club was sexist and that she was joining for woman every where. She was rather shocked how ever , when she discovered that some of the clubs best duelers such as Angelina Johnson were women. After the older female members left Hogwarts Dawn decided it was her duty to rally all the younger female members together and hold a bra burning in protest of Draco's smarmy sleazy approach to woman. Once again Dawn was humiliated , while the other girls burnt there satin push up pieces of lingerie wonder Dawn had nothing to burn but her wooly vest her grandmother had sent her for Christmas. Now Dawn was protesting on the vegetables and pieces of fruit the dueling club used for targeting practice.
" Your not making any sense granola breath , your a vegetarian there fore you eat vegetables there fore you are the sickest most sadistic one of all" Draco said sarcastically and Dawn growled under her breath.
" I eat the vegetables Malfoy , I don't waste there innocent lives for a pathetic barbaric form of violence" she pressed on and Draco rolled his eyes.
"Dawn the fruit we use is rotten , there innocent lives are long over" Draco reminded her , Dawn gave Draco a triumphant look.
"Oh really and what do you call these?" she asked thrusting her opened hand under Draco's nose. Draco squinted at several goldish round slightly deformed objects.
"Badly made Christmas decorations?" he asked and Dawn snorted.
"NO! there beans magic beans bursting with life and opportunities. Some one decided it would be funny to put an engorging charm on them and blow them up!" Dawn cried hysterically glaring at her older brother Charles Blau who was looking extremely sheepish.
" Magic beans?" Draco asked and Dawn looked a bit sheepish.
"Well I'm not quite sure if there really magic , some one could have just sprayed some baked beans with gold paint. But that doesn't matter it's still a living creature that should be allowed to fulfill it's destiny!! it could grow into..a...er bean stalk!" Dawn cried trying desperately to make an intelligent comment.
" Dawn , please shut the hell up" Draco snapped and Dawn growled with rage.
"Your just angry because once again some one else rescued your precious Granger" she muttered under her breath.
"Wait , how did you know about that?" Draco asked his eyes widening with shock.
"The whole school knows about it Draco , you fancy the robes of Hermione Granger" Dawn replied.
"I do not fancy the robes off her , nor do I fancy any other part of her clothing!" Draco snapped and Dawn rolled her brown eyes.
"Please I heard all about it in the girls toilet this morning" Dawn replied as if that made it true.
"Now if you don't mind I need to get back to planting the beans" Dawn replied disappearing back into her hole.
"If your just planting the beans then why the hell do you need a hole that deep?" Draco bellowed and Charles Blau tapped Draco on the shoulder.
"She's insists on burying all our supplies for the next six months" Charles said calmly. Draco's eyes slowly went wide and his neck began to stiffen. His teeth clenched together with frustration and it all became a bit to much for him.
"If any one wants me I'll be in the prefects bathroom taking a bubble bath!" he cried dramatically before stalking off.
By that night Draco was feeling allot better , he was spruced buffed up and shiny..smelling vaguely like jasmine. His feet had been scrubbed with pumice and rubbed in with chamomile oil , his skin had been exfoliated. He had even performed a tooth whitening spell on his pearly whites. Now he laid on his back while his own personal house elf massaged his shoulders and told him he had a lot of tension in his back.
"Tell me about it , the world is trying to drive me insane!" Draco cried wincing slightly as the house elf continued to slap his back.
Crabbe was sitting on the window sill staring out at the night sky his book of fairy tales on his lap. Occasionally he would turn to a certain page in his book stare at it and then continue to stair out the window with wonder.
" Crabbe , what on earth are you staring at? did some one hit you on the back of your head with a baby mandrake?" Draco asked and Crabbe turned to him.
"There's a bean stalk , out side ...there might be giants" Crabbe said hopefully.
" Oh yes Dawn planted some beans out on the grounds this morning.. she must have put a fertilizing potion on them to make the stalk. Still I'm surprised you can see it...your eye site must be pretty good" Draco said his mind feeling like pink fairy floss as he fully relaxed into his massage.
"Well it's pretty big Draco" Crabbe said cheerfully still looking out the window. Draco pushed the house elf away and signaled for it leave he then walked towards the window in his boxer shorts and not much else.
" See Crabbe nothing to worry about , it's a perfectly normal gigantic bean stalk" Draco said groggily as he peered out into the night time gloom. Draco's eyes slowly grew with realization and his mouth formed a grim line.
"Oh shit" he swore and a voice , a seductive honey voice dripping with perfection and feminine beauty whispered in his ear.
"Oh shit is right Malfoy" and Draco looked into the sky blue gorgeous eyes of Mary Sue.
Chapter five : The goose who laid the golden egg
Hermione was annoyed , more then annoyed actually she was bloody pissed off.
"I'm meant to be the leading the female character in this narrative and the bloody environmentalist gets more lines then I do!" she cried clutching onto the front of her pale pink dressing robe. She was in her standard romantic heroine pose by the large open window even though it was freezing cold and it was beginning to snow. She shivered slightly , from a mixture of annoyance and cold. Her warm comfortable pajamas were in the laundry and she was forced to wear the expensive silk camisole her aunts had bought her for her sixteenth birthday. It was a gorgeous raspberry red concoction but it was completely impractical for the freezing Scottish weather. It also went rather badly with her messy slightly damped knotty hair that had been scraped back with a hair tie and her tatty old carpet slippers. Hermione was never sure what drew her to the window that night , perhaps it was all part of some sort of divine plan or perhaps she needed to get some fresh air in order to get rid of the smell of Lavenders perfume. The horrendous oily scent had wormed its way out of the thick glass bottles on Lavenders messy desk and it was now filling the room with choking clouds. Not that the other girls would notice , they were still down stairs in the common room comparing there divination notes while trying to look at Harry's ass indiscreetly. Hermione wasn't quite sure what was so appealing about doing this , after all Harry was rather on the scrawny side. She sighed the way most heroines do and watched as tiny flakes of snow began to fall settling on the window sill. The cold hair blasted at her cheeks like the air conditioning in her parents dental surgery and she shivered trying to draw her bathrobe over her ample cleavage.
"In the dark of the blackest night" she spoke softly almost singing under her breath watching the white mist rise from the freezing ground.
"I can see that there a burning light , burning bright.." she sang softly and slightly distracted as her eyes were drawn to a tiny speck of light in the fog some distance away. As she watched with detached interest another tiny light joined it bopping amongst the mist uncertainly. Hermione s curiosity grew , what on earth was some one doing out on a freezing night like this?
" Draco it's freezing cant we go back to our room?" Crabbe asked his lips blue with the cold.
"Don't blame me your the one who forgot your jacket" Draco scolded as they stumped across the grounds towards the bean stalk. Draco clutched the front of his very stylish black leather jacket to his chest and adjusted his thick agora wool green scarf trying to keep out the blistering cold. He glances over at Crabbe's shivering blubber and he rolled his eyes with exasperation.
"Get over here you big oaf" Draco said taking his leather jacket off , underneath he was wearing his thick dark green hooded jumper. Crabbe put the jacket on thankfully , fortunately it was several sizes to big for Draco ( who had won it off a Gryffindor seventh year during his third year in a duel) and it fit Crabbe rather snugly. Draco slowly held his wand up his teeth chattering together in the sky he could see the faint line of a full moon and he couldn't help remember that professor Lupin who had returned two years previously was a were wolf. Mary sue stepped forwards out of the mist and coughed politely trying to get Draco's attention. She was posing in the way girls do when they want to be praised for there current appearance.
" Very nice but completely impractical for a freezing cold winters night" Draco commented and Mary Sues eyes went wide with out rage.
"Don't you know any thing you stupid mortal boy? this gown is made out of the finest form of silk in the known world" she said spinning around for dramatic emphasis. The dress was designed to be the end of all dresses , it clung in the right places and was made out of a material so fine it almost seemed to be rapped up moon light. The top Draco noted showed off allot of Mary sues ample white cleavage which was only emphasized by the heavy dew drop opal necklace she had fastened around her throat.
"Fine it's pretty , it's very glittery and... oh" Draco said trying to think of a word.
"Pretty!" Crabbe said helpfully and Mary Sue narrowed her eyes dangerously.
"This dress is more then pretty , its fantastical its wonderful its the best thing you'll ever see in your lives and all you can say is that its pretty" Mary Sue snarled hitching up the shimmering skirts and stomping away.
"Wait! its er very pretty!" Draco cried running after Mary Sue , he wasn't used to dealing with temperamental females.
"Why are you wearing it any way?" Draco asked when he finally caught up to her and Mary Sue looked a bit sheepish.
"Well there's this big upper class party in the fairy ring next week , I've never been to one of them before and ... I sort of wanted an opinion on my dress before I go" Mary Sue said and her face was robbed from its usual haughty self confidence.
" Its a dress , what else can I say?" Draco asked impatiently and as he turned around Mary Sue frowned slightly feeling slightly hurt , it wasn't a feeling she was used to.
Hermione had always prided herself on her no nonsense approach to life , she knew that she had been born with messy brown hair and buck teeth thus ruining her chances of ever having a scandalous love affair. At the age of 13 she told her self during one of her private dates in the library that it was time to give up all the silly romantic nonsense and resort to being calm practical and good in a crisis. Of course deep down in the private parts of Hermione's soul she longed for adventure. She longed to be swept up by a dark dashing individual preferably with a name like Darcy while she revealed allot of bosom in a low cut medieval corset..but not to much bosom after all Hermione was still respectable. Now Hermione found her self doing something she had never dared to do with out Harry or Ron , wander around the Hogwarts in the middle of the night. The lights she had seen on the misty field had filled her with a vague sense of curiosity and adventure that she usually only felt when Harry was around .Tweaking her camisole down slightly in case she ran into a dark and attractive man , after all you never knew...she set out into the night.
" Well , from now on I know to never doubt Dawn again!" Draco cried as his neck made a rather ominous clicking sound. He peered up at the gigantic bean stalk which disappeared out of vision after several hundred miles.
"Some one approaches...." Mary Sue said her ears twitching slightly , as soon as she spoke a mournful howl erupted across the grounds. Draco's eyes were slowly drawn to the starry night and as he watched the clouds disappeared revealing a very full rather bloated moon.
"Cursed griffindors!..Snape wouldn't be so stupid!" he muttered with apprehension and once again a howl erupted breaking the silence.
"Werewolf! quick every one put on some silver under wear!" Draco cried hysterically.
Hermione paused slightly mid marched as her slipper encased foot almost stepped on something. She reached down and in the gloom saw the faintest glimmer of glass. Something was seeping off the glass , a faint pinkish vapour that smelt like rotten flowers and chocolate.
"A love potion... but those are illegal in Hogwarts" Hermione began her brow wrinkled with confusion , and once again there was a howl.
" Quick! Climb the bean stalk!" Mary Sue cried gesturing them towards the gigantic vegetable mutation,.
"What are you insane? that things gigantic!" Draco cried .
"What about a broom stick?" Crabbe suggested almost sounding helpful.
"A broom stick? a broom stick!" Draco cried thankfully and pointed his wand vaguely at the direction of the Slytherin dormitory.
"Accio Nimbus 2000!" Draco cried flipping aside his hair for dramatic affect.
Hermione paused slightly as she reached Hogwarts main entrance. Was it her imagination , or had she just heard an almost snuffling scratching sound. Her heart pounding slightly in her chest Hermione bolted towards the doors and as quickly as possible snuck out. Instantly she realized her mistake as the gigantic heavy doors slammed shut behind her. Hermione ignoring the snuffling noises behind her ran as fast as she could towards the forbidden forest...although it seemed many miles away. The snuffling disappeared but to Hermione's terror was replaced with the pattering of running paws and a terrifying howl , she wanted adventure and look where it took her. Hermione crying fearfully slipped over the wet grass her hair tangling itself into knots behind her. Never look back , you don't want to know what's behind you a memory hissed in her mind as she remembered the last words Harry had muttered to her before she woke up alone and cold in a hospital bed. Unfortunately Hermione at that second skidded on the dripping wet grass and crashed into a painful heap on the wet muddy earth. Frantically she tried to sit up once again , but the snow which was now melting into freezing slushy piles made that impossible. Her eyes look up and she saw it , the wolf. Hermione instantly recognized it as a werewolf , it had all the classic markings she had learned in her first year. The wolf stood still , steam rising off its shiny gray coat and it seemed to glare at her... it wanted to chase her.
"Professor Lupine! its me!" Hermione cried desperately slipping on the ground, The wolf continued to glare at her...and then in lunged.
It was funny , Hermione had expected extreme pain , however all she could feel was the licking of a dogs tongue and the frantic jumping that half grown puppies always did when they reached puberty. With horror Hermione tried desperately to push the mangy thing off her , it all made sense. Professor Lupine was on heat! Snape must have mixed up the potions which accounted for the broken glass Hermione had found in the hall way. Hermione began to scream hysterically with horror remembering the time her aunts poodle had attacked the dining room table in a similar way. As she frantically tried to kick Professor Lupine away she suddenly felt a pair of thick arms grab her by her camisoles straps. Hermione to her extreme shock felt her self being lifted upwards and the thick arms transferred themselves to her waist hauling her up onto a broom stick.
"Ello Hermione!" a voice cried cheerfully , it was Crabbe.
"Crabbe?" Hermione asked extremely shocked as she secured her self onto the broom stick properly .
"That's me!" Crabbe cried cheerfully and Hermione felt extremely faint.
"What on earth are you doing up here?" she asked fearfully , and Draco pulled up along side her on another broom stick a sardonic expression on his face.
"Saving your arse , that's what his doing" he smiled and Hermione glared at him her lip trembling slightly.
"It was you out on the grass! don't you realize how dangerous it is wandering around when there's a werewolf on heat loose?" she scolded and Draco flew closer to her extending a hand.
"Hop onto my broom stick , Crabbe's cant carry your weight as well as his" Draco said rationally and Hermione's lips pressed together with rage.
"There is no way I'm sharing a broom stick with you Malfoy!" she snapped and Draco simply rolled his eyes.
"Fine then plunge to your doom see if I care!" he said and Crabbe's broom stick creaked ominously. Hermione frowned slightly and then with a moment of stupid bravery reached forward grabbing onto Draco's hand. Instantly Hermione was torn of Crabbe's broomstick , and to her extreme terror she found herself clinging onto Draco's hand for dear life.
"Calm down Granger , I'm not going to drop you!" Draco snapped and pulled Hermione towards his broom stick. Hermione grabbed onto it desperately and half slipping hauled herself up onto it.
"I hate flying !" she snapped grabbing onto Draco's shoulders for support.
"Well that's obviously , now Granger please tell me ..why are you out here in a flimsy night dress?" Draco asked and Hermione blushed slightly as Draco eyed the cleavage peeking out of her camisole.
"I was curious I guess..." she admitted sheepishly and Draco snickered slightly.
"Well wonders never cease , practical Granger actually has some spine in her after all" he grinned wolfishly in the moon light and Hermione looked at him suspiciously. Was it her imagination , or where his teeth slightly more pointy then usual?
"Why are you here Malfoy?" she asked coldly.
"To investigate that giant bean stalk" Draco commented.
"Don't be ridicules! the species known as the common giant bean stalk has been instinct for over four hundred years.. giant slayers burnt all of them" Hermione tutted.
"I'm not sure if what we have here happens to be a conventional bean stalk" Draco replied as they swooped in closer.
In the rain splattering streets of diagon alley a single figure dressed in thick black robes raced across in the rain. It paused at one of the doors and hammered its hulking frame against the cheap woodwork. The door creaked open slowly.
"The dark side of the moon is home to the shadows" the figure in the hood said.
"Merrily towards the fire the manticore dances towards its doom" the other voice replied.
"Look I think that's enough , frankly its pissing down here... so let me in" the hooded figure growled threatening. There were several thudding noises.
"It appears that the doors stuck" the voice replied and the figure growled with rage . It slammed its hulking body against the wood work and it snapped open breaking on its hinges. There were ten figures in hoods , there faces clouded in mystic darkness.
"EER! you just broke that door you great brute! the land ladies going to be spewing when she finds out what you've done " the smallest hooded figure scolded and the tallest one gave him , not a dirty look because his face was covered in black.. more of a filthy pause.
"Not that moneys important" the smallest figure said carefully.
"I brought it ... it took me a while to get it out of the idiots arms but here it is" the hooded figure answered and there leader nodded. The hulking figure walked slowly towards him and with great honor placed something in front of there leader. In the dim light , it was pale pink and scruffy .. a well worn and much loved teddy bear.
"You have done well number eight , from now on you will be known as number seven and three quarters" the leader said his voice dripping with malignance.
"Hey I thought I was brother seven and three quarters!" the former brother seven and three quarters suddenly declared. The leader rolled his eyes , they were all idiots of course.. not one of them knew a decent jinx amongst them. But the leader had been a death eater for a long time , and he knew that a truly good death eater had to be the most intelligent person in the room. Let the other little clichés have there murderers there cursers and there planners... he would have the idiots , they were determined and they would never ever betray him.
" Brothers step forward into the circle of darkness! for today we will rule!" he cried and brother three coughed politely.
"Rule? I don't know about that...I mean I'm just a door to door cauldron seller" he said.
"Don't be an idiot , his going to teach us the ultimate secrets of the dark arts.. that he learnt from he who must not be named aren't cha?" Number three said excitingly.
"Yes brother three , now inside this teddy are the secrets to the universe!" he cried dramatically.
"Gosh" the assembled brothers cried.
"So your looking for a teddy bear?" Hermione asked as Draco finished his story. Draco had of course blurred over significant details , such as him being prince charming .
"Well basically yes , but according to Mary Sue ..this elf wench were also helping her look for a magical object of some sort" Draco answered as they flew closer to the bean stalk.
"Have you ever thought , that they might be one and the same?" Hermione asked.
"Ok that's just stupid , Granger you need to stop reading plot devices into every situation" Draco commented and Hermione bristled.
"I would be much obliged if you drop me off at my window" she said curtly.
" Unfortunately I cant do that Granger , we are heading for the top" Draco said pointing upwards. Hermione was about to scream in protest but paused when she thought about her evening plans. What did she have to look forward to? besides reading a novel and drinking hot chocolate? there was a certain point in Hermione's life when she knew that the right thing to do had to be the wrong thing... she had felt it in her fifth year when she had chased after Harry on the fateful night and she felt it now.
"Malfoy , I'm going with you" she said firmly.
A/N That's enough for now.. sorry about the long wait the next part should be longer.