I don't own Eva, please do not sue me.
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NEO GENETIC EBANGERION Exodus 0:2
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CHAPTER 2: ONE REALLY FUCKED UP ASSORTMENT OF THINGS
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Interview 1: EVA 01
Interviewer: Tell me, is there anything that you dislike about your role?
EVA 01: Well, for one thing, I hate how the pilots get all of the sympathy.
Interviewer: What do you mean?
EVA 01: Anytime after a violent battle, people always go "Aw, poor Shinji felt the pain of his arm getting blown off" while I actually do get my arm blown off, and no one ever shows any concern. I think I deserve better than that.
Interviewer: Maybe they suspect that you have no feelings.
EVA 01: I SAVE THAT LITTLE PRICK EVERYTIME HE MESSES UP IN A BATTLE!! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO, DANCE AROUND IN A TOP HAT AND START RAPPING?
Interviewer: Please don't scream, it's inpol--
EVA 01: I'LL SCREAM WHENEVER I DAMN WELL WANT TO!!
Interviewer: Okay, okay, fine. Next question: Is it true that you are having an affair with one of the angels?
EVA 01: I suppose you are speaking of my honey-poo Zeruel.
Interviewer: Okay, but didn't you have to eat him in your role?
EVA 01: That was a mechanical dummy in that particular scene. I would never hurt my dear, dear Zeruel. And I did eat Zeruel, just not in the wat that yo--*face turns red* Next question please.
Interviewer: Alright. Do you have any feelings for Gendo?
EVA 01: ...............I'm not really into Necrophilia.
Interviewer: Not really?
EVA 01: Next question please.
Interviewer: *getting slightly annoyed* Fine. When you talk about Shinji, you don't sound like the concerned parent that you are.
EVA 01: She's not in me anymore. She wanted to be closer to Shinji, so she moved into Misato's vacuum cleaner.
Interviewer: SHE HAS A VACUUM CLEANER?!?!
EVA 01: Yes; surprising I know, but she does have one.
Interviewer: Okay, do you have an feelings for any of the children?
EVA 01: ..............
Interviewer: I can wait.
EVA 01: Next question please.
Interviewer: Oh come on, cut me some slack and just answer the damned qu--
EVA 01: NEXT. FUCKING. QUESTION. PLEASE.
Interviwer: Fuck you, answer the damned question, you angel-fucking sl--
*SPLAT*
Director: Please, in the future, do not squash the interviewers.
EVA 01: .............
*Explosion sounds*
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German sex videos 1: Donkey luvin'
Woman: Ich möchte auf Ihrem Esel saugen.
Man: Schmecken Esel gut?
Woman: Ja, und Ihr Esel schaut gut.
Spanish ape: Soy un homosexual!!
Woman: AFFEESEL, AFFEESEL, AFFEESEL, AFFEESEL!!
*Copies of the dvd "Fake" begin to fade*
Cait Sith: Nani?
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The angel chronicles 1: An angel's sadness
I am kept within this horrible place called heaven.
So much happiness; but I could never love.
WHHHHYYYYY, DO I HAVE TO SEE MY BROTHERS KILLED?
WHHHHYYYYY, MUST I SUFFER IN BLISSFUL HARMONY?
WHHHHYYYYY, DO THEY SAY IT'S PERFECT HERE?
I am cold, fading from reality. I wanted to feel real emotion. Now, I am fading awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy..............................
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Kensuke: This chapter REALLY sucked!! What happened to me you ask, I had to read that angel's shitty poem because Rei shoved a dildo too far up my ass and caused internal bleeding. Now I'm in paradise. Oh yeah, episode 9 was finally completed!!
Gay mexican psycho angel: Pene... jabbed me en mi ojo... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Kensuke: Yeah, this is paradise.
TO BE CONTINUED
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PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER:
*The screen is blank, then Asuka's voice is heard*
Asuka: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MISATO'S VACUUM CLEANER?!!?!?
Coming next time in Neo Genetic Ebangerion Exodus 0:3
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NEO GENETIC EBANGERION Exodus 0:2
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 2: ONE REALLY FUCKED UP ASSORTMENT OF THINGS
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Interview 1: EVA 01
Interviewer: Tell me, is there anything that you dislike about your role?
EVA 01: Well, for one thing, I hate how the pilots get all of the sympathy.
Interviewer: What do you mean?
EVA 01: Anytime after a violent battle, people always go "Aw, poor Shinji felt the pain of his arm getting blown off" while I actually do get my arm blown off, and no one ever shows any concern. I think I deserve better than that.
Interviewer: Maybe they suspect that you have no feelings.
EVA 01: I SAVE THAT LITTLE PRICK EVERYTIME HE MESSES UP IN A BATTLE!! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO, DANCE AROUND IN A TOP HAT AND START RAPPING?
Interviewer: Please don't scream, it's inpol--
EVA 01: I'LL SCREAM WHENEVER I DAMN WELL WANT TO!!
Interviewer: Okay, okay, fine. Next question: Is it true that you are having an affair with one of the angels?
EVA 01: I suppose you are speaking of my honey-poo Zeruel.
Interviewer: Okay, but didn't you have to eat him in your role?
EVA 01: That was a mechanical dummy in that particular scene. I would never hurt my dear, dear Zeruel. And I did eat Zeruel, just not in the wat that yo--*face turns red* Next question please.
Interviewer: Alright. Do you have any feelings for Gendo?
EVA 01: ...............I'm not really into Necrophilia.
Interviewer: Not really?
EVA 01: Next question please.
Interviewer: *getting slightly annoyed* Fine. When you talk about Shinji, you don't sound like the concerned parent that you are.
EVA 01: She's not in me anymore. She wanted to be closer to Shinji, so she moved into Misato's vacuum cleaner.
Interviewer: SHE HAS A VACUUM CLEANER?!?!
EVA 01: Yes; surprising I know, but she does have one.
Interviewer: Okay, do you have an feelings for any of the children?
EVA 01: ..............
Interviewer: I can wait.
EVA 01: Next question please.
Interviewer: Oh come on, cut me some slack and just answer the damned qu--
EVA 01: NEXT. FUCKING. QUESTION. PLEASE.
Interviwer: Fuck you, answer the damned question, you angel-fucking sl--
*SPLAT*
Director: Please, in the future, do not squash the interviewers.
EVA 01: .............
*Explosion sounds*
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German sex videos 1: Donkey luvin'
Woman: Ich möchte auf Ihrem Esel saugen.
Man: Schmecken Esel gut?
Woman: Ja, und Ihr Esel schaut gut.
Spanish ape: Soy un homosexual!!
Woman: AFFEESEL, AFFEESEL, AFFEESEL, AFFEESEL!!
*Copies of the dvd "Fake" begin to fade*
Cait Sith: Nani?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The angel chronicles 1: An angel's sadness
I am kept within this horrible place called heaven.
So much happiness; but I could never love.
WHHHHYYYYY, DO I HAVE TO SEE MY BROTHERS KILLED?
WHHHHYYYYY, MUST I SUFFER IN BLISSFUL HARMONY?
WHHHHYYYYY, DO THEY SAY IT'S PERFECT HERE?
I am cold, fading from reality. I wanted to feel real emotion. Now, I am fading awayyyyyyyyyyyyyy..............................
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Kensuke: This chapter REALLY sucked!! What happened to me you ask, I had to read that angel's shitty poem because Rei shoved a dildo too far up my ass and caused internal bleeding. Now I'm in paradise. Oh yeah, episode 9 was finally completed!!
Gay mexican psycho angel: Pene... jabbed me en mi ojo... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Kensuke: Yeah, this is paradise.
TO BE CONTINUED
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER:
*The screen is blank, then Asuka's voice is heard*
Asuka: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH MISATO'S VACUUM CLEANER?!!?!?
Coming next time in Neo Genetic Ebangerion Exodus 0:3