September 1st,
Those damn snakes were here.
On our base.
IN OUR HOME!
How dare they attack us! How dare they bring the fight to our door! The thing is, if I were in Cobra Commander's shoes I would have done the same thing.
"The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike at him as hard as you can and as often as you can, and keep moving on." Somehow I cannot see the Commander taking advice from the writings of Ulysses S Grant.
Regardless of his motivation, he is getting too bold…although courage is not something I would attribute to a man that sends androids into battle in the place of soldiers. Give me a battle where I can see the fear in my enemy's eyes…not the cold and mindless brutality of automatons.
How the hell did they find us is what I would like to know? And while I am on this line of questioning, how the hell did they get past our radar?
Thank the gods that Spirit was on guard. I won't even attempt to tell you I understand his unique 'abilities', but I am grateful to have him on our side.
I am so furious I am shaking. The adrenaline is pumping through my veins even now…I want to attack, to fight, to kill those bastards. The only thing keeping me from pummeling the next thing I see is Allie's still form sleeping beside me, her arm draped across my chest, her face buried in my side…the soft rise and fall of her chest calming me…grounding me.
I hadn't been back twenty-four hours before I heard the wail of the perimeter alarm. Our mission in the North had been a success, resulting in the arrest of several Vipers and civilian COBRA agents who had been running weapons into the US by way of Canada. The RCMP had been impressed by our work and in their gratitude had presented us each with a Team Canada hockey jersey. First, though, they tried to recruit us…and needless to say we politely turned them down.
"I reckon I would have too much trouble getting used to yer heavy accents…" Wild Bill had told a group of stunned Mounties, his face serious.
"OUR accents?" One of them answered, staring at the Texan in amazement.
I couldn't suppress a snicker, which sent Lift Ticket into fits of laughter. Wild Bill merely stood there scratching his head.
"What did I say, y'all?"
I brought back a gift for Jaye as well…a stunning little walrus tusk carving of a polar bear and her cub. I bought it from a native craftsman I had met during a recon in a small Inuit village near the Beaufort Sea. She loves this type of thing, her father having instilled in her a deep and far- reaching appreciation of the art and artifacts of indigenous peoples.
It was meant to be a peace offering, although I did not get a chance to give it to her until we had already kissed and made up. Mind you, it took the attack to bring us together again…otherwise I would most likely be chasing her around the PITT right now, trying to get her to talk to me. Ironically, it was a similar situation a few years ago that brought the two of us together in the first place.
We were stationed at Fort Wadsworth at the time, a large military installation on Staten Island just outside of Manhattan. Although the Joe team made full use of the extensive facilities the base had to offer, our true home lay underneath it, in an underground compound known simply as 'THE PITT".
It was a secure headquarters, hidden away from prying eyes whose location was classified 'top secret'…only those who were members of the team knew of its existence. Despite these precautions however, one faithful spring day the entire structure was destroyed in a surprise attack.
It was only through sheer dumb luck that more people weren't killed in the incident, as the team had recently been forced out of the PITT and out onto the base itself due to some budgetary decision made by the brass higher up. Even then, we barely survived.
Luck also played a hand in the somewhat advance warning we received when Lady Jaye and I spotted COBRA EELS coming up out of the water in a remote part of the base. That we happened to be there at that precise moment was guided by the hands of fate I suppose, for it certainly wasn't guided by mine!
You see, at that point in our relationship…I doubt I could even call it a relationship back then…the two of us would more likely be avoiding each other like the plague than strolling through the park.
I am not quite sure as to which one of us caused the unfortunate situation between us, although I suspect my behavior was the root of most ill will. I am not the easiest person to get along with, and I tend to come off as a little arrogant to those who don't know me. My constantly hitting on her probably wasn't helping matters either, but I have to add that Lady Jaye was anything but an innocent bystander.
Far from it!
For the first few months of knowing her I considered her a snobby, haughty, aloof, cold little bitch…and with me she was certainly that! She tried to avoid me but I wouldn't have it, making sport of getting her riled up and angry. The arguments we used to have were legendary…and it got to the point where the other Joes began to place bets as to who would end up killing the other first. I needn't point out that Jaye was leading in the polls.
Conversely, as much as I hated her, I was fascinated by her as well. I watched her with the others and envied the familiar, lighthearted, personable relationships they shared. She is an intelligent and caring woman with those she calls her friends, and is always the center of attention at Joe social get-together's, moving easily around the room, quick to smile and laugh, her eyes bright with amusement and full of life. She has a sharp tongue as well, as I had experienced numerous times, but it is tempered by a deep loyalty and a good heart.
Not to mention the fact that she is very attractive…and god knows I wanted her in my bed at least once. It was a challenge I took up with glee…and after having been shot down in mid stride by Cover Girl, I was looking for a little action. Of course, Courtney had been my first choice. I mean…who could resist a former runway model who knew her way around cars! Those legs…oh boy…I gave it my best shot, but gave up after she tried to kneecap me with a monkey wrench.
In the meantime, Jaye was creeping into my thoughts more and more as I began to wonder why I was never privy to that friendly side that all the others knew well. Why was it the minute she saw me her eyes went cold? Why is it every conversation we had turned into an argument?
Ah, the romantic in you is thinking to yourself…"he is falling for her"…in truth I was not. My thoughts had nothing at all to do with 'love'…some 'lust' yes…but not love in any sense of the world. It was truly only curiosity that drove me again and again to seek her out. She was an enigma I needed to figure out. She presented a challenge my inflated ego just couldn't resist.
That sunny afternoon in the park at Fort Wadsworth was one of the few times I had caught her alone, and of course I used the opportunity to turn on the Faireborn charm. She looked at me strangely for a moment before sighing in exasperation and shaking her head.
"I don't believe in hidden assets, Flint…"
The comment struck me as odd, although I rolled with it and continued my assault until we were interrupted by the attack. Hidden assets? What did she mean by that? What was it that she saw when she looked at me?
I got the answer to that question later on that evening as we walked among the rubble that was once our home.
When Jaye spotted the invading force, I knew in that instant that we had to warn the others at all cost. I also knew that out here in the open, unarmed and unprepared, we would be gunned down the minute they spotted us heading back to base. So what did I do, I ordered Jaye to head back and leapt out of our little hiding place in the bushes to distract the EELS.
I understood my actions to be futile. Very likely I was going to end up dead…but I knew it would buy her just enough time to get word to the others. She realized what was apt to happen to me as well, I saw it in her eyes when I announced my decision, but before she could protest I was off and running.
They beat me up but good. I might be strong but twelve against one are pretty much impossible odds. I was knocked unconscious for a while, only to wake up and find a lone EEL leaning over me with a knife at my throat. I was in an intense amount of pain, my arm felt as though it had been wrenched from its socket, but somehow I found the strength to fight back…killing the COBRA agent with his own blade.
I hurried back to join the fighting…ignoring my wounds the best I could. I must have looked pretty bad because when Jaye saw me she rushed over with a look of worry on her face, then didn't leave my side the entire battle. I even caught her watching me from time to time, as if making sure I was all right.
Obviously she had never seen me fight before. These aches and pains were merely a nuisance, nothing more…and at that point I was practically berserk with fury over the violation of my home and the threat to my teammates. Anything that came close to me went down in a hail of gunfire.
She sat with me afterwards as Doc tended to my wounds, watching me quietly from across the room, her eyes narrowed slightly in a look I have come to know as 'concentration'. It was as though she were trying to catch a glimpse of something so fleeting that she wasn't certain she had actually seen it.
Was she waiting to see me cry out in pain, to see the great and macho Flint cower in the face of his injuries? The adrenaline that had kept me going was now fading, along with its analgesic effect, but I was loath to let her see me even flinch. She was making me uncomfortable, and I was about to offer up some snide remark but for once the connection between my mouth and my brain was functioning properly and I held back.
Then, that night, as we walked back from the temporary headquarters Hawk had set up in the base gym, she asked me if I had ever been afraid.
I don't quite remember the context of the conversation, as it was I was so taken aback by the quiet annoyance in her voice, by the question itself, that I wasn't quite sure what to answer. A million egoist comments came to mind immediately, and from the look on her face I knew she was expecting something of the sort, but instead…I told her the truth.
Yes…I have been afraid. I didn't add that I had been afraid the moment I made the decision to attack that troop of EELS barehanded, but I knew that she could tell that very thing from my tone.
She looked so stunned by my response that I nearly chuckled at the expression on her face…but her next words trapped the laughter in my throat.
"I was beginning to think you were really stupid."
Stupid? Me? That is the first time anyone has ever used that word to describe me. Overconfident, yes…temperamental, yes…proud…definitely. But never stupid! It was then that I realized what she had meant when she had said 'hidden assets'.
It seems that I had developed this 'Flint' persona so well that no one ever caught sight the man underneath. She had no idea as to who I was…the only thing she saw was an arrogant big mouth soldier…and she was in no way enamored of him.
That was why she was staring at me so intently in the infirmary. Somehow she had caught a glimpse of Dashiell…and it had thrown her.
I don't know what happened then, I have no idea what possessed me but as I saw her walking off, this woman who pretty much despised me…this woman who annoyed me to no end…this woman who at that point meant very little to me…a work cohort who I wanted to bed, something slipped out.
"…you may relish him more in the soldier than in the scholar." I whispered. It was a simple quote from Othello, but one that spoke volumes of who I was…of my insecurities and my foibles…of the reason I was the way I was.
I didn't expect her to understand the meaning behind my words…if anything I guess I wanted to impress upon her that I was far from stupid. Why did I care? I don't know…I certainly never cared if anyone else saw me as a numbskull, having struggled to hide my gift for so long…but being confronted with the accusation head on I was left wondering as to the wisdom of my little paranoia.
She stopped, turned and stared at me for a moment in silence. Not the angry silence I was accustomed too…where I braced for the onslaught of insults to come…but one of astonishment.
Then she opened her mouth and spoke the words that changed everything.
"Men should be what they seem; Or those that be not, would they might seem none!"
Now it was my turn to look amazed. Not only had she picked a quote that was from the very play I had just referenced, but she had chosen one that fit the situation perfectly, that reflected a very perceptive, if not complete, understanding of my words.
We stood there in silence, each contemplating this new facet of each other that we had just uncovered, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally, I broke the stillness.
"I could use a coffee and a handful of aspirin right about now…" I smiled shyly as I admitted to her that I was in quite a bit of pain indeed. "Care to join me?"
I remember her eyes narrowing in suspicion for an instant before she sighed and flashed me a tired smile. "Coffee sounds good to me…"
As I have mentioned before, that day marked a turning point in our relationship…and before you start jumping to conclusions and suppose that she fell into my arms then and there, you should know that it was a year before we made that jump.
No…this moment marked the beginning of a very strong friendship. Alison is the only woman I can truly count as one of my very close friends. My best friend, in fact, when all is said and done. Before meeting her, the women in my life would have been classified as 'would be lovers', 'lovers', 'former lovers' or 'mere acquaintances'. Allie pretty much broke the mold.
We began hanging out together more and more…and as time went on I opened up to her in a way I hadn't done in a long while…and in return she shared with me as well. That is not to say that we didn't fight like cats and dogs at times, but it wasn't with the same malicious fervor that we used to.
I still flirted with her, as I continued to find her extremely attractive…and no one ever implied that I was transformed overnight! I was still very much the egotistical ladies man we all know and love. Nevertheless, when the opportunity finally arose I was a bit reluctant to make the jump to lovers. I was worried that it might very well destroy the friendship we had built. A friendship I well and truly value.
As I lie here with her in my arms, I can't help but paraphrase Albert Unaterra…
"Friendship with Alison leads me closer to who I always wanted to be but could not be without her. Likewise, I lead her closer to who she always wanted to be but never would have been without me. This is what friendship is. Any other relationship is no more than kin to friendship. Inexplicably, friends need each other to realize their collective identity, and each is one important catalyst to the other."
I need her friendship and support…it is as if she is part of me as I am a part of her…'a single soul in two bodies' as Aristotle would say. We make each other whole.
When I came to her room after the battle today, I found her scribbling madly in her journal. She tried to ignore me but I would have none of it. I had seen the silent tears streaming from her eyes and I would not be turned away. I knew in my heart she was remembering the battle at Fort Wadsworth…I knew she was remembering that night.
I gently wiped the tears away and whispered words of apology and shame, of tenderness and caring…of need.
Yes need.
I needed her to hold me as much as she probably needed to be held. And so it came that I am here in her arms. Neither of us was in the mood for the 'physical' though. We merely needed to be close to one another…to hold each other. As Lao Tzu once wrote…
"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."
After the day we had had, we needed all the strength and courage we could get.
And yes…I said the 'L' word.
Those damn snakes were here.
On our base.
IN OUR HOME!
How dare they attack us! How dare they bring the fight to our door! The thing is, if I were in Cobra Commander's shoes I would have done the same thing.
"The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike at him as hard as you can and as often as you can, and keep moving on." Somehow I cannot see the Commander taking advice from the writings of Ulysses S Grant.
Regardless of his motivation, he is getting too bold…although courage is not something I would attribute to a man that sends androids into battle in the place of soldiers. Give me a battle where I can see the fear in my enemy's eyes…not the cold and mindless brutality of automatons.
How the hell did they find us is what I would like to know? And while I am on this line of questioning, how the hell did they get past our radar?
Thank the gods that Spirit was on guard. I won't even attempt to tell you I understand his unique 'abilities', but I am grateful to have him on our side.
I am so furious I am shaking. The adrenaline is pumping through my veins even now…I want to attack, to fight, to kill those bastards. The only thing keeping me from pummeling the next thing I see is Allie's still form sleeping beside me, her arm draped across my chest, her face buried in my side…the soft rise and fall of her chest calming me…grounding me.
I hadn't been back twenty-four hours before I heard the wail of the perimeter alarm. Our mission in the North had been a success, resulting in the arrest of several Vipers and civilian COBRA agents who had been running weapons into the US by way of Canada. The RCMP had been impressed by our work and in their gratitude had presented us each with a Team Canada hockey jersey. First, though, they tried to recruit us…and needless to say we politely turned them down.
"I reckon I would have too much trouble getting used to yer heavy accents…" Wild Bill had told a group of stunned Mounties, his face serious.
"OUR accents?" One of them answered, staring at the Texan in amazement.
I couldn't suppress a snicker, which sent Lift Ticket into fits of laughter. Wild Bill merely stood there scratching his head.
"What did I say, y'all?"
I brought back a gift for Jaye as well…a stunning little walrus tusk carving of a polar bear and her cub. I bought it from a native craftsman I had met during a recon in a small Inuit village near the Beaufort Sea. She loves this type of thing, her father having instilled in her a deep and far- reaching appreciation of the art and artifacts of indigenous peoples.
It was meant to be a peace offering, although I did not get a chance to give it to her until we had already kissed and made up. Mind you, it took the attack to bring us together again…otherwise I would most likely be chasing her around the PITT right now, trying to get her to talk to me. Ironically, it was a similar situation a few years ago that brought the two of us together in the first place.
We were stationed at Fort Wadsworth at the time, a large military installation on Staten Island just outside of Manhattan. Although the Joe team made full use of the extensive facilities the base had to offer, our true home lay underneath it, in an underground compound known simply as 'THE PITT".
It was a secure headquarters, hidden away from prying eyes whose location was classified 'top secret'…only those who were members of the team knew of its existence. Despite these precautions however, one faithful spring day the entire structure was destroyed in a surprise attack.
It was only through sheer dumb luck that more people weren't killed in the incident, as the team had recently been forced out of the PITT and out onto the base itself due to some budgetary decision made by the brass higher up. Even then, we barely survived.
Luck also played a hand in the somewhat advance warning we received when Lady Jaye and I spotted COBRA EELS coming up out of the water in a remote part of the base. That we happened to be there at that precise moment was guided by the hands of fate I suppose, for it certainly wasn't guided by mine!
You see, at that point in our relationship…I doubt I could even call it a relationship back then…the two of us would more likely be avoiding each other like the plague than strolling through the park.
I am not quite sure as to which one of us caused the unfortunate situation between us, although I suspect my behavior was the root of most ill will. I am not the easiest person to get along with, and I tend to come off as a little arrogant to those who don't know me. My constantly hitting on her probably wasn't helping matters either, but I have to add that Lady Jaye was anything but an innocent bystander.
Far from it!
For the first few months of knowing her I considered her a snobby, haughty, aloof, cold little bitch…and with me she was certainly that! She tried to avoid me but I wouldn't have it, making sport of getting her riled up and angry. The arguments we used to have were legendary…and it got to the point where the other Joes began to place bets as to who would end up killing the other first. I needn't point out that Jaye was leading in the polls.
Conversely, as much as I hated her, I was fascinated by her as well. I watched her with the others and envied the familiar, lighthearted, personable relationships they shared. She is an intelligent and caring woman with those she calls her friends, and is always the center of attention at Joe social get-together's, moving easily around the room, quick to smile and laugh, her eyes bright with amusement and full of life. She has a sharp tongue as well, as I had experienced numerous times, but it is tempered by a deep loyalty and a good heart.
Not to mention the fact that she is very attractive…and god knows I wanted her in my bed at least once. It was a challenge I took up with glee…and after having been shot down in mid stride by Cover Girl, I was looking for a little action. Of course, Courtney had been my first choice. I mean…who could resist a former runway model who knew her way around cars! Those legs…oh boy…I gave it my best shot, but gave up after she tried to kneecap me with a monkey wrench.
In the meantime, Jaye was creeping into my thoughts more and more as I began to wonder why I was never privy to that friendly side that all the others knew well. Why was it the minute she saw me her eyes went cold? Why is it every conversation we had turned into an argument?
Ah, the romantic in you is thinking to yourself…"he is falling for her"…in truth I was not. My thoughts had nothing at all to do with 'love'…some 'lust' yes…but not love in any sense of the world. It was truly only curiosity that drove me again and again to seek her out. She was an enigma I needed to figure out. She presented a challenge my inflated ego just couldn't resist.
That sunny afternoon in the park at Fort Wadsworth was one of the few times I had caught her alone, and of course I used the opportunity to turn on the Faireborn charm. She looked at me strangely for a moment before sighing in exasperation and shaking her head.
"I don't believe in hidden assets, Flint…"
The comment struck me as odd, although I rolled with it and continued my assault until we were interrupted by the attack. Hidden assets? What did she mean by that? What was it that she saw when she looked at me?
I got the answer to that question later on that evening as we walked among the rubble that was once our home.
When Jaye spotted the invading force, I knew in that instant that we had to warn the others at all cost. I also knew that out here in the open, unarmed and unprepared, we would be gunned down the minute they spotted us heading back to base. So what did I do, I ordered Jaye to head back and leapt out of our little hiding place in the bushes to distract the EELS.
I understood my actions to be futile. Very likely I was going to end up dead…but I knew it would buy her just enough time to get word to the others. She realized what was apt to happen to me as well, I saw it in her eyes when I announced my decision, but before she could protest I was off and running.
They beat me up but good. I might be strong but twelve against one are pretty much impossible odds. I was knocked unconscious for a while, only to wake up and find a lone EEL leaning over me with a knife at my throat. I was in an intense amount of pain, my arm felt as though it had been wrenched from its socket, but somehow I found the strength to fight back…killing the COBRA agent with his own blade.
I hurried back to join the fighting…ignoring my wounds the best I could. I must have looked pretty bad because when Jaye saw me she rushed over with a look of worry on her face, then didn't leave my side the entire battle. I even caught her watching me from time to time, as if making sure I was all right.
Obviously she had never seen me fight before. These aches and pains were merely a nuisance, nothing more…and at that point I was practically berserk with fury over the violation of my home and the threat to my teammates. Anything that came close to me went down in a hail of gunfire.
She sat with me afterwards as Doc tended to my wounds, watching me quietly from across the room, her eyes narrowed slightly in a look I have come to know as 'concentration'. It was as though she were trying to catch a glimpse of something so fleeting that she wasn't certain she had actually seen it.
Was she waiting to see me cry out in pain, to see the great and macho Flint cower in the face of his injuries? The adrenaline that had kept me going was now fading, along with its analgesic effect, but I was loath to let her see me even flinch. She was making me uncomfortable, and I was about to offer up some snide remark but for once the connection between my mouth and my brain was functioning properly and I held back.
Then, that night, as we walked back from the temporary headquarters Hawk had set up in the base gym, she asked me if I had ever been afraid.
I don't quite remember the context of the conversation, as it was I was so taken aback by the quiet annoyance in her voice, by the question itself, that I wasn't quite sure what to answer. A million egoist comments came to mind immediately, and from the look on her face I knew she was expecting something of the sort, but instead…I told her the truth.
Yes…I have been afraid. I didn't add that I had been afraid the moment I made the decision to attack that troop of EELS barehanded, but I knew that she could tell that very thing from my tone.
She looked so stunned by my response that I nearly chuckled at the expression on her face…but her next words trapped the laughter in my throat.
"I was beginning to think you were really stupid."
Stupid? Me? That is the first time anyone has ever used that word to describe me. Overconfident, yes…temperamental, yes…proud…definitely. But never stupid! It was then that I realized what she had meant when she had said 'hidden assets'.
It seems that I had developed this 'Flint' persona so well that no one ever caught sight the man underneath. She had no idea as to who I was…the only thing she saw was an arrogant big mouth soldier…and she was in no way enamored of him.
That was why she was staring at me so intently in the infirmary. Somehow she had caught a glimpse of Dashiell…and it had thrown her.
I don't know what happened then, I have no idea what possessed me but as I saw her walking off, this woman who pretty much despised me…this woman who annoyed me to no end…this woman who at that point meant very little to me…a work cohort who I wanted to bed, something slipped out.
"…you may relish him more in the soldier than in the scholar." I whispered. It was a simple quote from Othello, but one that spoke volumes of who I was…of my insecurities and my foibles…of the reason I was the way I was.
I didn't expect her to understand the meaning behind my words…if anything I guess I wanted to impress upon her that I was far from stupid. Why did I care? I don't know…I certainly never cared if anyone else saw me as a numbskull, having struggled to hide my gift for so long…but being confronted with the accusation head on I was left wondering as to the wisdom of my little paranoia.
She stopped, turned and stared at me for a moment in silence. Not the angry silence I was accustomed too…where I braced for the onslaught of insults to come…but one of astonishment.
Then she opened her mouth and spoke the words that changed everything.
"Men should be what they seem; Or those that be not, would they might seem none!"
Now it was my turn to look amazed. Not only had she picked a quote that was from the very play I had just referenced, but she had chosen one that fit the situation perfectly, that reflected a very perceptive, if not complete, understanding of my words.
We stood there in silence, each contemplating this new facet of each other that we had just uncovered, each lost in our own thoughts. Finally, I broke the stillness.
"I could use a coffee and a handful of aspirin right about now…" I smiled shyly as I admitted to her that I was in quite a bit of pain indeed. "Care to join me?"
I remember her eyes narrowing in suspicion for an instant before she sighed and flashed me a tired smile. "Coffee sounds good to me…"
As I have mentioned before, that day marked a turning point in our relationship…and before you start jumping to conclusions and suppose that she fell into my arms then and there, you should know that it was a year before we made that jump.
No…this moment marked the beginning of a very strong friendship. Alison is the only woman I can truly count as one of my very close friends. My best friend, in fact, when all is said and done. Before meeting her, the women in my life would have been classified as 'would be lovers', 'lovers', 'former lovers' or 'mere acquaintances'. Allie pretty much broke the mold.
We began hanging out together more and more…and as time went on I opened up to her in a way I hadn't done in a long while…and in return she shared with me as well. That is not to say that we didn't fight like cats and dogs at times, but it wasn't with the same malicious fervor that we used to.
I still flirted with her, as I continued to find her extremely attractive…and no one ever implied that I was transformed overnight! I was still very much the egotistical ladies man we all know and love. Nevertheless, when the opportunity finally arose I was a bit reluctant to make the jump to lovers. I was worried that it might very well destroy the friendship we had built. A friendship I well and truly value.
As I lie here with her in my arms, I can't help but paraphrase Albert Unaterra…
"Friendship with Alison leads me closer to who I always wanted to be but could not be without her. Likewise, I lead her closer to who she always wanted to be but never would have been without me. This is what friendship is. Any other relationship is no more than kin to friendship. Inexplicably, friends need each other to realize their collective identity, and each is one important catalyst to the other."
I need her friendship and support…it is as if she is part of me as I am a part of her…'a single soul in two bodies' as Aristotle would say. We make each other whole.
When I came to her room after the battle today, I found her scribbling madly in her journal. She tried to ignore me but I would have none of it. I had seen the silent tears streaming from her eyes and I would not be turned away. I knew in my heart she was remembering the battle at Fort Wadsworth…I knew she was remembering that night.
I gently wiped the tears away and whispered words of apology and shame, of tenderness and caring…of need.
Yes need.
I needed her to hold me as much as she probably needed to be held. And so it came that I am here in her arms. Neither of us was in the mood for the 'physical' though. We merely needed to be close to one another…to hold each other. As Lao Tzu once wrote…
"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."
After the day we had had, we needed all the strength and courage we could get.
And yes…I said the 'L' word.