(everyone is at Burger King…for some stupid reason. Everyone is sitting down eating, save Aya, who is standing at the counter, talking to the cashier)
Aya: I'd like…*scans the menu* …a cheeseburger…WITHOUT pickles…NO pickles.
Cashier: Would you like to buy a Whopper instead?
Aya: *grimaces* What did I just say? The customer is *always* right. Unless of course they're my customer.
Cashier: So I have a cheeseburger-
Aya: WITHOUT pickles.
Cashier: Would you like anything else, sir?
Aya: Did I *ask* for anything else? *crosses arms* Incompetence…
(back at the table Yohji and Schu are both drinking cherry freezes and playing footsie. Nagi and Omi have been in the bathroom for about 15 minutes now, Farfie is poking at his chicken sandwich and watching in disgust as it jiggles like gelatin, Brad is staring around at all the redneck inhabitants and giving them 'you're lucky I decided to grace you scum with my divine presence' looks, Siko is on her 20th Frozen Lemonade*those things are addictive!* and Ken is eagerly tearing open his Big Kids meal)
Ken: I got a toy from Spirit! Wheeeee!!
Everyone else: *stare at him…*
Ken: *blinks* What?
(Nagi and Omi emerge from the bathroom, giggling and looking kinda disheveled)
Schu: *looks at them and smirks* Have fun?
Nagi: *shoots him a glare* Kiss my ass.
Schu: Aw, Nagi's getting his period so he's going to be extra-bitchy this week…
Nagi: *shakes his head* Oh, how witty was that remark. I think I'm peeling with laughter: Ha. Ha. Ha.
Schu: *laughs* Ha, yeah, I am pretty funny, aren't I?
Nagi: *looks down, hand to head*
Aya: *walks over to the table holding his tray and everyone stares at this nearly microscopic sandwich on it*
Yohji: *looking at it with a magnifying glass* Is that even edible?
Aya: *swats at him* Don't contaminate my food…
Schu: Shot down!
Yohji: *narrows his eyebrows at Schu*
Schu: *grins* You're so cute when you're angry.
Yohji: *crosses his arms and kicks his leg hard*
Schu: *winces, still trying to grin* Feisty today, aren't we?
Aya: *opens the sandwich to check that everything is right and finds….A PICKLE!* What's this? Is this a *pickle*?! I SPECIFICALLY SAID NO PICKLES! WHAT KIND OF ESTABLISHMENT GIVES YOU PICKLES WHEN YOU ASK FOR NO PICKLES?!…oh, I know who's behind this…Takatori's working here now, isn't he?! He'll pay for this…
( in the kitchen…)
Disgruntled Cook: *is making burgers, occasionally throwing road kill in with the mix*
(Velvet Underworld starts playing…Disgruntled Cook looks up to see Aya above him, suddenly in his assassin gear, katana raised above his head)
Aya: TAKATORI-
Disgruntled Cook: That's not my name!
Aya: *face goes blank*...oh. *face slowly comes over with an angry expression* Don't lie to me! I know who you are!…you're in disguise, aren't you? TAKATORI REIJI!
(back at the table…)
Omi: He's at it again…
Nagi: Eh?
Omi: *sweatdrop* This makes 247 people he's mistaken for Takatori and killed.
Schu: *snickers* This is just too amusing…
Nagi: Death is not amusing.
Schu: Oh, lighten *up*, Nagi!
Farfello: Yeah, death is always funny, Nagi, what's wrong with you?
Nagi: *hand to head*
Schu: What's the matter, Bradley? You haven't said a word since we walked in and that's not like you…typically you'd be bitching about something by now. That or using some metaphor about insects, anyway.
Crawford: These people…they're disgusting! Look at them with their wretched lives!
Schu: But don't we see that wherever we go?
Crawford: Yeah, but here…*shudders*
Ken: *anxiously checking his watch* It's 3:00 already…don't the middle schools around here let out at around 3:15?
Everyone else: *silence*
Aya: *walks back over with his bloody katana and puts it on the table*
Ken: *sees where Aya placed it on top of his food, goes SD and cries* AYA GOT MY CHICKEN TENDERS ALL BLOODY!
Aya: *takes a napkin and just barely swipes it across Ken's food*
Siko: *passed out on the table, a Lemonade Freeze still clutched in her fingers*
Yohji: *notices their captor's bad condition* I guess those things are hazardous to your health, ne?
Nagi: *pokes her* I think she's suffering from brain freeze. *looks at everyone*
Guys: *look at each other, smile, and start to make a run for the door*
Siko: *springs up, face completely blue* HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!
Guys: *stop and frown*
Schu: Damn, we almost made it that time, too…
Siko: *pulls out the dreaded list, grinning* I delight in torturing all of you…
Guys: *all sit down groaning and Nagi snatches the list away*
Crawford: I think we should start reviewing crappy fanfics like *yours*.
Siko: Like the one you're in right now.
Crawford: …huh…?
Omi: Yes, right now, Siko is actually on her computer writing all of this.
Schu: Yeah right! Like I believe that story!
Siko: I can make you do or say *anything* I want, like now:
Schu: *clasps his hands together and bats his lashes while looking at Nagi* Tee hee!
Nagi: *scoots away*
Schu: *making goo-goo eyes* Nagi, I have such a big crush on you! Will you dump Omi and go out with me instead? *suddenly snaps out of it, eyes wide* Why in the hell did I say that?!
Yohji: Che…
Siko: So all of you behave or *eyes Schu* I'll do something even worse.
Schu: *whimpers*
Nagi: Well…here we go. How about Star Wars?
Aya: *blinks* Isn't that…a movie from the 70s or something?
Crawford: *blinks* You're joking, right?
Aya: …
Yohji: *wraps an arm around Aya* Our little Aya doesn't get out much.
Aya: *glares at him*
Ken: I just saw Attack of the Clones! It was cool! But that one scene with Yoda fighting…that was kinda disturbing,,,
Yohji: Kinda like your obsession with soccer and children, ne Ken?
Ken: *seethes*
Farfello: Brad took me to see the premiere Phantom Menace with him a while back. *smiles* I really liked it…
Brad: *sighs* The old stretch and yawn wasn't successful…
Schu: Ewan McGregor, Farfie…*grins*
Farfie: I hate you.
Schu: *feigning shock* That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! Aw, you have no idea what this means to me! *pats his head and smirks*
Farfello: *grabs his wrist and twists it*
Schu: Ow! *pouts, nursing his wrist*
Nagi: Hey, Omi, seeing the premiere was our first date, remember?
Omi: *smiles* How could I forget?
Brad: *pales*
Nagi: What's wrong?
Brad: Now I know what those weird sounds coming from behind us were…
~*~FLASHBACK SEQUENCE~*~
(Crawford and Farfello are sitting in the theater, watching the film. Farfello looks really engaged in it while Crawford seems kinda distracted whilst sipping his oversized/priced movie theater soda…)
On-screen: "I will not condone a course of action that will lead us to war."
Crawford: *looks at his soda for a minute then grins*
Farfello: *staring intently at the screen*
Crawford: *looks about whistling for a minute before the cup "slips" from his fingers and his soda spills in Farfie's lap*
Farfello: *jumps* Ah, cold!
Crawford: *suppressing a smile* Whoops, me and my butterfingers! *laughs quietly to himself*
Farfello: *starts to scoot away, a scared/weirded-out look on his face…*
Crawford: *grabs his arm and pulls him back* Here, let me clean it up…*starts to reach over but stops at what he hears behind them*
Voice #1: *loud moaning*
Voice #2: Does that feel nice?
Voice #1: Mmm, so g~ooooooooo~d…
Crawford: *eyes wide*
Farfello: *blinks continually*
Voice #1: AHHHHHHH!!!
Crawford and Farfello: *both staring intently at the screen, both sweatdropping*
~*~END FLASHBACK SEQUENCE~*~
Schu: *snickers* Who knew?
Yohji: *follows suit* Yeah, our little exhibitionists…bathrooms, movie theaters, any place else we should know about?
Omi: *blushes*
Nagi: *glowers at Schu and Yohji* Screw you both.
Yohji: Maybe in a few years, kid…*winks*
Schu: What are you waiting for, Naggles? Right here, on the table!
Nagi: I hate you.
Schu: Ooh, twice in one day! I'm getting good…
Nagi: I'm ending this before it gets any worse. *looks over the list and raises an eyebrow* 'The Little Mermaid'?
Yohji: Another one of Aya's favorites!
Aya: No, it isn't!
Yohji: Aw, don't lie, Aya! You think I could ever forget the time I walked in on you dancing around your room singing 'Under the Sea'?
Aya: *reddens* It's a catchy song, okay?
Yohji: *grins* Of course it is, Aya, of course it is…
Schu: *leans back* Hm, does anyone else notice the amount of Disney movies being requested?
Ken: Yeah, why does everyone think we would like Disney enough to have watched the movies?!
Siko: Because you *do*.
Ken: I don't!
Siko: I happen to know that your favorite movie is Pinocchio.
Ken: *gapes* But…how…?
Schu: Ha! You like Disney!
Siko: And Schu, yours is Mary Poppins.
Schu: *flinches*
Nagi: I know what Schu's favorite videogame is…
Schu: You wouldn't *dare*!
Nagi: 'Zero Wing'.
Everyone else besides Schu: *laugh their asses off*
Schu: *tries to strangle Nagi unsuccessfully* You little bastard!
Siko: And now for something completely different.
*suddenly a screen drops down beside them…*
Aya: Why? Why do you make all these random things happen?!
Siko: Roll film!
~*~
"WHEN ZERO WING TRIED TO MARKET TO WEISS KREUZ FANS: "
(Weiss is working in the Koneko when suddenly…a brick crashes through the window! *oh no!*)
Yohji: What happen?
Omi: *points at the brick* Someone set up us the bomb.
Ken: We get signal. *points at the t.v.*
Aya: *drops the ever-present hose* What!
Ken: Main screen turn on. *flips the t.v. on*
*Schu and Crawford walk inside*
Aya: It's you!
Crawford: How are you gentlemen!!
Schu: *grins* All your flower shop are belong to us.
Crawford: You are on the way to destruction.
Aya: What you say!! *crumples to the floor, head in hands*
Crawford: You have no chance to survive make your time.
Schu: HA HA HA HA…*they walk out*
Aya: *looks valiant, staring off into space* Take off every 'zig'.
Yohji: You know what you doing.
Ken: Move 'zig'.
Omi: For great justice.
THE END
~*~
Nagi: What the hell was that?
Yohji: I think it was an excuse to use up some time.
Siko: Oh, hush you…
Farfello: Are there any more movies left to review?
Everyone: *stare at him in shock*
Farfello: I'm just *asking*!
Schu: Yeah right. You just wanna see if there'll be anymore movies with *grin* Ewan McGregor…
Farfello: *growls and throws himself at Schu*
Schu: AHHHHH!!!!
Siko: Well, in response to Farfie's question, no, there are no more reviews for now. I've decided to stop early so that I can walk Ken over to the Middle School.
Ken: *eyes get big* Really?
Siko: *smiles* Yes, Ken, really.
Ken: *gets up* Let's go!
Yohji: *leans back in the chair* When you 2 get arrested, I'm just gonna laugh.
Siko: You just keep an eye open and make sure Farfie doesn't kill Schu. *follows a very excited Ken out*
Yohji: …right. *falls asleep*
Crawford: *looks out the window* Ooh, there's a Safeway across the street! *imagines riding around the parking lot in one of the shopping carts*
Aya: *is grabbed by an eager Crawford and looks at him confusedly* Eh???
Crawford: You get to push me! *starts dragging him out*
Aya: O-okay. I guess. *lets himself be pulled out the door*
Schu: *lies there all beaten up* …ow. That hurt like a bitch.
Farfello: *stands over him and smiles, arms crossed* I bet that made god bleed.
Schu: *gets up and brushes himself off* Come on, we're going to the Best Western hotel.
Farfello: Right then. *they walk out and stop when they see Aya running and pushing the cart that Crawford is sitting in*
Crawford: *arms outstretched* WHOO-HOO!
Schu: Now that is just disturbing.
Farfello: *nods and they quickly walk away, trying to avert their gaze*
Aya: *hops in the cart with Crawford as Safeway employees begin chasing after them*
Employee: Hey, you can't do that!
Crawford: Ha, ha, ha! You'll never catch us alive!
(the cart crashes into a parked car and Crawford and Aya are thrown out)
Crawford: *winces in pain*
Aya: Why did we just do that?
Crawford: *shakily sits up* I don't really know. *grins* Let's do it again.
(back inside of Burger Kings)
Yohji: *asleep on the table, drooling, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth*
Omi: Well…we're relatively alone again.
Nagi: *looks around the restaurant* That booth seat looks big enough.
Thanks to all of you who wished me luck on my stupid exams! I had your encouragements in my mind as I took them ^_^ (made it out with b's, too!)
Mwa ha ha ha, that last part was inspired by my stupid friends who like to steal carts from Safeway and push each other around in them O_o idiots…one time I was watching them and I thought about what it would look like with Crawford, in his suit(that's a scary suit) and just his whole serious businessman-like demeanor. Me and my weird mind…