Bwahahahaha, I'm back and even more pointless than ever! I'm home sick, so I have some time to write. Uh, is that a good thing or a bad thing? ^^;;
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THE MOST RANDOM CHAPTER OF ALL!
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(Everyone is gathered around tables in…*dundundun* THE FOOD COURT AT TOWN MALL! *yes, my town's mall is actually called 'Town Mall' @_@*)
Ken: *pointing at the cinema* Look, Spy Kids 2 is playing!
Yohji: *smoking* Ken, you're the only person over 12 that I know that would enjoy that movie.
Ken: *glares* Are you calling me immature?!
Yohji: *takes a drag of his cigarette* Oh, ho, ho, I wish I was…
Schu: *reading the mind of some random preppy girl that's hovering over Omi* Naggles, I think that your boyfriend's got an admirer…
Nagi: Huh?
Schu: *points at the girl* Just look.
Girl: *looking at Omi and giggling, trying to shove her chest in his face*
Nagi: *seethes*
Omi: Uh…
Girl: Tee hee, you're cute!
Omi: Um, thank you, but-
Girl: Wanna meet me in the bathroom?
Nagi: *growls*
Girl: *the ceiling suddenly caves in, all of the debris conveniently crashing down atop her* WAHHHHHHHH!!!
Farfello: *cackles and starts kicking her lifeless body*
Crawford: *adjusts his glasses* I saw that before it happened, you know.
Aya: *polishing his katana and glaring at the Italian guys that keeping staring at him from Villa Pizza*
Italian Guy: Salve, bella…
Aya: *blinks*
Yohji: *crosses his arms* How long have we been prisoners here?
Omi: *types something on his laptop and peers at the screen* …8 chapters and counting, Yohji-kun.
Yohji: *groans*
Nagi: *glares at Siko, who is drawing fervently in her notebook* How much longer do you intend on keeping us here?
Siko: *looking disinterested* About 20 more minutes.
Guys: NANI?!
Siko: Yup, and I'm almost finished my picture!
Aya: Freedom!
Schu and Yohji: WHOO-HOO! WE FINALLY GET TO HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX WITH COMPLETE STRANGERS AGAIN! *they slap each other 5*
Crawford: What the hell are you drawing anyway? You've had us sitting here for about 5 hours now…
Siko: All in time, Crawlie, all in time…
Schu: Does this mean we don't have to review any more movies?
Siko: That is correct.
Guys: YAY!
Siko: And as a special treat, we're going to watch a movie instead.
Guys: YAY AGAIN!
Farfello: What is it? I hope it's 'Beauty and the Beast'…
Siko: See, I told you that you guys liked Disney!
Farfello: Hmph, at least I can admit it.
Siko: The movie we're watching is…
Guys: *listening intently*
Siko: 'Romeo and Juliet'
Ken: What?! No!
Crawford: I agree.
Yohji: Anything but that!
Siko: But…this copy is about 4 years old…
Guys: *whimper*
Siko: Recorded at the School for Gifted Children in…
Guys: Don't say it!
Siko: MOROCCO! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I HAVE YOUR SCHOOL PLAY!
Guys: *crying*
Siko: *grinning at Crawford* You were still in 8th grade…
Crawford: It's not funny!
Schu: Ha, ha, Braddy failed 2nd grade about 10 times!
Crawford: Shut up, I was a slow learner!
Schu: You were 23 in 8 th grade! *cackling*
Crawford: You were 18!
Schu: *silence* …
Siko: Yeah, how the hell did you all end up failing and ending so auspiciously up in the same school and grade?
Guys: *shrug*
Nagi: Finals.
Siko: *slowly nods* Riiiiiiight…well, anyhow, after much searching, bargaining and murder-uhhhh…I obtained a videotape of your school play!
Yohji: Must…resist…urge…not to…strangle…
(yet another screen drops down beside them)
Aya: Stop doing that, dammit!
Siko: Uh, the beginning was cut off because I accidentally pressed the record button when I was watching Queer as Folk.
Guys: *sweatdrop*
(a shot of a stage where Crawford is standing, dressed in a cape and next to him is Schu in a dress. Opposite of them are 2 random boys whom none of us really give a damn about and Omi and Nagi wearing tights*grin*)
Crawford: What noise is this? Give me my long sword, ho!
Schu: *blinks, then crosses his arms, glaring* Who are you calling a ho?!
Crawford: Huh? No, no, I didn't mean it like that-
Schu: Oh, you're still upset that I slept with Yohji that day we were broken up, aren't you?!
Yohji's voice offstage: Don't bring me into this!
Crawford: I was just saying my lines!
Schu: *turns away, sobbing* You don't love me anymore!
Crawford: Ohh, Schu-baby, that's not true!
Nagi and Omi: *snickering*
Crawford: *pouts* It's not funny!
Schu: YOU'RE JUST USING ME FOR SEX!
Crawford: *hand to head*
(static. Camera comes back on revealing Aya, wearing a dress standing at a balcony with Yohji hiding in some bushes under it, also wearing tights*gringrin*)
Yohji: I don't know which of us is worse off.
Aya: *glaring, monotone* Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
Persia, the director offstage: More feeling, Aya!
Aya: I have no feeling for that…*thing*!
Yohji: Hey! You could have tacked 'sexy' onto that!
Persia: Aya, do I have to replace you?
Aya: Fine, I didn't want to be in this stupid play anyway! *rips off his dress oblivious to the fact that he's wearing nothing under it and stomps offstage*
Yohji: Ack! *nosebleeds*
(static. The camera rolls again to show Persia standing on stage, head bowed)
Persia: I am deeply sorry. We have no actors left. Schuldig has locked himself in the dressing room crying, Bradley is backstage still attempting to say his lines in a non-offensive way, Omi and Nagi locked themselves in the janitor's closet, Yohji is in the nurse's office for profuse bleeding, Aya is slashing through the wardrobe department, Ken never showed up for his role as Paris(we suspect he's at the elementary school next door applying for a job. We have, however, called the police and he will be detained.) and Farfello has killed the rest of the cast and is now on a rampage through the rest of the school. With this in mind, I will be performing the rest of the play on my own as Juliet with my assistant, Manx, as Romeo.
Manx offstage: I'm not going there!
(static)
Siko: HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Guys: *blushing*
Siko: *crying* You sucked so bad!
Schu: It wasn't as bad as your summer camp's play when you were 8!
Siko: *pouts* Oh, hush.
Omi: I never even got to say my lines.
Nagi: Oh, but you did just fine in the closet…
Omi: Nagi-kun!
Schu and Yohji: *grin at each other* They learned from the best.
Nagi: Die, you disgusting excuses for human flesh.
Schu: Wow, Nagi, that's a new one! Keep it up and you'll get to the manipulative level; then you'll be just like ME.
Nagi: If that ever happened I'd kill myself.
Schu: Good one!
Nagi: *glaring*
Siko: *scribbling furiously still* Just…about…done…there!
Guys: *all crowd around*
Ken: Uhhhh…what is it?
Siko: It's all of you! A memento of the happy times I had reviewing movies with you guys.
Crawford: Schu, I didn't know that you could contort yourself like that…
Schu: *eyes wide* Neither did I…
Yohji: ACK! *nosebleeds*
Omi: So, are we free now?
Siko: Yep! Run free my little bishounen assassins!
(everyone just kind of stands there, looking awkward)
Siko: *blinks* I said you could go.
Ken: Well, that's the thing…
Schu: Yeah. *laughs nervously*
Nagi: We have nothing else to do.
Siko: *blinks* You're kidding.
Yohji: *holding paper towels up to his nose* Well, *I* have a life!
Aya: All you ever do is have sex!
Yohji: *nods* Exactly.
Aya: *rolls eyes* I don't know why I haven't killed you yet.
Omi: Well, I guess this means that we'll have to go back to work at the Koneko.
Yohji and Ken: *groan*
Aya: *murmuring about money*
Crawford: And we'll have to go back to work randomly appearing and using spooky psychic powers.
Rest of Schwarz: *groan*
Siko: Well, then, must go, bye! *disappears*
Omi: Well, that didn't take too long.
Nagi: *furrows brows* What just happened?
Omi: That? Oh, we all just used reverse psychology on her…Siko thinks like a 5 year old, so we knew it'd work.
Schu: *smirks* Very well, I might add.
Nagi: What was the point? She said she was letting us go anyway.
Farfello: No, that was just her way of screwing with our heads.
Ken: She joys in torturing us, remember?
Nagi: Omi, you're a genius!
Omi: *averts his gaze, blushing* Yeah, well…
Low, ominous voice: I HEARD ALL OF THAT!
Yohji: Dammit, Omi, why did you have to open your big mouth?!
Omi: But-
(suddenly a big, long list about 1, 000, 000 miles long drops down in front of them)
Guys: HUH?!
Siko: I want all of these reviewed *now*!
Ken: *cries*
Crawford: This'll take us until we're middle-aged and no longer bishounen!
Schu: Che, you're almost there, Brad.
Crawford: *hisses and tries to claw Schu*
Schu: Ah! *ducks*
Farfello: If I strangled someone with this list do you think that God would cry?
Siko: *laughing evilly* This'll give you about another 20 chapters to get through! *more evil laughing, hacks*
Guys: Noooooooooooo…
Er, uh, sorry about the pitifulness of that chapter. Anyhow, let me know more movies you want so that I can keep the boys hard at work *gringrin*