October 3rd,
Damn her....DAMN HER!
So THIS is the way she wants to play the game, so be it. If she thinks for one minute I am going to go crawling back to beg her forgiveness after she unceremoniously threw me out of her hotel room she has got another thing coming.
No way is she going to guilt me into dropping this. She has some nerve...I am NOT the selfish one! I am NOT the one at fault here!
Bloody hell...she makes me so mad sometimes. Did she honestly think I wouldn't find out about it? Did she honestly think I would just let Hawk's revelation at dinner fall by the wayside?
FUCK THAT!
We had just completed a very dangerous yet successful mission, eliminating a small group of terrorists who had hijacked a Russian jetliner. Beachhead, Jaye and I managed to sneak on board the plane through the landing gear and torch our way into the cabin unnoticed by the amateurs on board.
Yes, amateurs.
They were complete dunderheads...the lot of them. Beachhead and I both commented on the fact before we left Hawk and Stalker to intercept the jetliner. Not of the caliber we had grown used to fighting. COBRA agents, for all their foibles, are very professional and well trained. This group, from what I had gathered from the research Jaye had done quickly upon her arrival in San Francisco, were mere babes when it came to terrorist activity.
"They may be amateurs, but they are just as deadly. Fear and nerves will make them unpredictable. I suggest you watch your back." Stalker grunted as he got lifted some equipment into the AWE striker.
"He's right, " Hawk nodded his acknowledgement, "Don't let that arrogance get the better of you. Watch yourself...there are over 200 innocents on board that flight. I don't want any mistakes."
Lady Jaye smirked at the word 'arrogance', knowing full well the comment was directed at me and not Wayne. The latter merely nodded, as if he knew it all along.
'Beach' is one of the people I admire most on the Joe team. He is an incredible soldier...patient and deadly. He doesn't take guff from anyone and expects nothing but the best from his fellow soldiers. Anything less is treated by him with the utmost contempt. He and I work very well together...so much so that Beachhead once commented that he was surprised we weren't teamed more often.
I, of course, smiled and joked "Probably because they need us to keep the others in line and alive."
Beachhead laughed.
"You do have an ego the size of Texas, don't you?"
"...but you know I am right."
"Yup...its too bad you lack patience or you might very well outdo even me...although I highly doubt it."
"Who has the ego now, Sneeden?"
"I just know my strengths..."
"...and my weaknesses?"
"Bingo!"
Speaking of weaknesses...my biggest one did a bang up job on the mission, that I will concede. Jaye was superb as usual, playing the role of Russian stewardess so well that I might not have recognized her had she passed me by on the street.
We pulled off the mission without a hitch, and in celebration I decided to treat everyone to dinner in San Francisco when we landed. LJ immediately piped up about restaurants in the area, glaring at me through the hole in the restroom door in irritation. She had managed to get herself locked in there for the entire flight back, much to my amusement and her chagrin!
I vetoed her immediately, knowing full well what her choice of fare was going to end up costing me. For someone who is such a disaster in the kitchen...who could (and has) ruined scrambled eggs and toast...she has a remarkable palate. As Marvin is quick to point out, the woman KNOWS food. I wouldn't be surprised she wasn't a restaurant critic in a previously life. She is a stickler for service too...and a good wine list. Allie can go through an eighteen-page tome of various vintages and pick the perfect one to compliment a meal.
The thing is, as a result of this culinary snobbery the restaurants she picks are usually very expensive. She might not bat an eye at the prices on the menu, but it's enough to give an enlisted man a coronary.
Not to mention the fact that the food she usually orders is a bit too...exotic...for my taste.
"What is it?"
"Fois Gras"
"No. I mean...WHAT is it?"
"Diseased fatty goose liver. It's a delicacy. Aren't you at least going to try it?"
Ugh.
Give me a steak any day! As far as I am concerned if it isn't cooked or recognizable...it isn't going down.
Anyhow...we ended up at a steakhouse near the pier, all of us were having a good time laughing and joking around. The camaraderie was short lived, however, as Hawk soon chose to ask Jaye how her flight requals went.
It was all downhill from there.
I can still see her glaring at me from across the hotel room, mocking me with a quote from the very play whose words initially brought us together.
"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on." She sneered.
"Jealous? Of HIM? Ha! He has nothing on me...jealousy has nothing to do with it..."
"What is it then, Flint? Trust? Because if it is then we have a bigger problem than merely your juvenile..."
"JUVENILE!" I strode forward and grabbed her wrist "You should talk, throwing yourself at him every chance you get..."
"Get out!"
"No!"
"GET OUT!!!!" She screeched and before I knew it I had been shoved into the hall forcefully and had the door slammed in my face.
I am currently sitting in the hotel bar nursing a beer, scribbling furiously in this bloody journal. I just came back from a quick march along the streets of San Francisco trying to get hold of myself...trying to reign in my rage...
It didn't work.
That cocky flyboy is just lucky he wasn't included on this mission or he would be in traction by now. He might be a hotshot in the pilot seat but on the ground he is in my domain.
I KNEW it wasn't over between them...I just knew it...
You are probably scratching your head, wondering what the hell I am ranting about. It's that Tom Cruise wanna-be Ace, sniffing around where he doesn't belong. Oh yeah, it seems that he and Alison had a thing going for a while before I joined the team. She says it was over long before I ever came onto the scene, but I see the way he looks at her.
It ain't innocent.
I found out about this little tryst of theirs quite by chance. Well, not EXACTLY by chance, but as neither volunteered the information the news certainly came as a complete surprise.
I still remember sitting in the locker room in a towel and dog tags after a long hot shower, joking with the others when Ace walked in. The morning exercises had been tough and I was looking forward not only to a nice nap but seeing Jaye later on. She had been away for a while on a mission and was due back some time that night.
I had taken a lot of ribbing from the guys those past few days over my relationship with her. Its not as though they didn't know what was going on between the two of us beforehand...I certainly made it very clear to whoever so much as looked at her sideways that she was spoken for...its just that a little scene outside the PITT the other day had everyone talking.
Lady Jaye had decked me. ME! The tough as nails badass Joe warrant officer. She had taken a swing and knocked me flat on my back in front of what amounted to the entire team.
"Hey, Flint...I can see who wears the pants in the relationship!" Wetsuit laughed as he passed by my broken form lying in the dust. Cross Country, in the meantime, looked down from his position in the driver seat of the Rhino and hooted.
"Way to go Jaye...GIRL POWER...Yeee Haaaaw"
I could feel my anger growing as she stood over me, glaring at my prostrate form. Fortunately for her I was still a bit stunned by the whole incident or I would have let her have it. I have never EVER hit a woman before...but honest to god that very moment I was sorely tempted.
I was humiliated, confused and angry...not a good combination. Her words, however, triggered the exact opposite response. Before I knew it we were locked in one heck of a passionate kiss...right in front of all the others...and of course, big wuss that I am, I melted.
I AM NOT GOING TO MELT THIS TIME! No way...I am not going to apologize...I am not going to feel guilty. I know what happened last time she went for her RIO requals. The whole bloody base knows the story I'm sure! I am not going to apologize...I am in control here...I am not going to melt!
Who am I kidding...
Ironically, the right hook...and the events that preceded it...marked the beginning of the end of any form of control I had over this relationship. The beginning of the end of any thought of being able to extricate myself from it simply and painlessly...the beginning of the end of even the thought of extricating myself from it.
Grenada. A place I will remember with both fondness and pain until the end of my days.
Grenada. Where the warning bells first went off and I began to realize that like the skilled covert ops agent that she was, she had stealthily wrapped herself around my heart without my even noticing.
Grenada. Where I became conscious that I loved her.
Stop it...STOP IT RIGHT NOW! No going soft on her. This isn't about Grenada...isn't about us...its about that fool flyboy.
Back to the story at hand...Ace.
The guys had been teasing me for days about 'the knockout kiss'...and I was becoming a bit concerned that they would assume my relationship with her was more serious than what I at that time considered it to be...what I was trying to convince myself that it was!
Regardless, I was certainly unwilling to have anyone question my ability to do my job due to some perceived bias towards her. Nor was I ready to announce my feelings towards the woman in question to the world. In actual fact, at that point I didn't want to admit it to myself.
So of course I joked right back at them...bragging about my prowess as a lover, telling them Jaye never had a chance, playing light on our relationship. Truth be told, as I look back I am ashamed of some of the things I said...locker room posturing is beneath me and moreover belittling to poor Allie...who for sure would be hurt and angry at some of the things I said. I couldn't help myself though...it just came out.
Of course, what I DIDN'T need was for 'Mr Perfect' to point this out to me.
"Don't you know it's not polite to kiss and tell, Faireborn?"
"Lighten up...Zoomie. You're just jealous that you didn't get there first."
"I wouldn't say that." He smirked and turned to retrieve his clothes from his locker.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I growled.
"Hmmm...unlike you, I don't feel a need to broadcast my conquests to the world." He turned back to me and frowned, "especially when it concerns someone as special as the woman of whom you are speaking."
"I hope..." I stood up and clenched my fists "...you are not implying what I THINK you are implying."
Roadblock got up with me, a look of concern growing on his face. He knows me...he knows what I am like.
"Dash, my man...sit down, and Brad...you shut up before this gets ugly."
But Ace just stood there with a cocky, arrogant grin on his face. "You're a smart guy, Flint...you figure it out."
I could feel the anger building inside me...I tried to stop it but as usual it engulfed me before I had a chance. Armbruster must have sensed something, seen my eyes darken, for he took a step back.
"She's mine, Flyboy." My voice was low, threatening.
"Dash...stop this right now." Roadblock put a hand on my shoulder to hold me back from what he knew was coming...the others had fallen silent, watching us intently, "Save your energy for COBRA."
"So now you want her?" He sneered, "She is too good for the likes of you...do her a favor and drop her before you end up hurting her."
"What...so you can have her?"
His eyes flashed amusement...and anger.
"I already have."
With that, I lunged forward, slamming him against the lockers with such force that the sound echoed through the entire floor. Ace is strong, but he is not match for me...especially when I am in the state I was in then.
Not many people are.
"LIAR!" I roared as Roadblock tried to pry me off before I inadvertently killed the little bastard.
"FLINT! STAND DOWN, NOW!" Duke barked as he put himself between us when Marvin finally managed to pry us off each other.
Ace didn't back down, I will give him that. He is a brave little Zoomie...that doesn't make me like him, though. Not in the least.
"Seems I hit a nerve..." He smirked humorlessly, "Christ Flint, you are a piece of work, aren't you? You think she didn't have a history? You think she spent her entire life waiting for a self centered jerk like you to steamroll into her life?"
Duke swung around as Roadblock tightened his grip on me. Damn he is strong.
"Armbruster, I suggest you drop this NOW!"
"No problem, Top..." he smiled as he pulled his shirt on and gathered up his things as I glared down at him. A million thoughts were flying through my head, all colored by the red rage the confrontation had triggered. You better believe he hit a nerve with me...he has NO idea how close he came to serious injury. How close I came to ending up in the brig for assaulting an officer.
As he walked out, I strained against Roadblocks grip and hissed a warning.
"Stay away from her, Ace."
He looked up at me from the doorway and smiled that infuriatingly cocky flyboy grin.
"Don't worry, Faireborn....I'm sure you will manage to screw this up without any help from me."
With that he was gone.
The rest of my afternoon was spent getting talked down by Roadblock and chewed out by Duke. Unpleasant to say the least. They both know me, they know why I reacted the way I did and what I was capable of in that state. They also know how to deal with me in the aftermath. Marvin is a bit kinder about the whole thing...Duke...Duke doesn't hold his punches.
Mind you...if push came to shove I know that both of them would have backed me up regardless of the inappropriateness of my behavior or their feelings of camaraderie towards Ace.
It was a good thing that Alison wasn't around when it happened or for sure there would have been an incident that might very well have split us for good. As it was, Roadblock's warning to pull myself together and Lady Jaye's late appearance on the scene lessened the blow.
With me...that isn't saying much.
I confronted her that very same evening about her relationship with Brad, and she admitted to having had short fling with him which ended well before I joined the team. She hadn't mentioned it as she didn't think it was important, pointing out that it was really nothing special. She had a good time with him but the rapport faded after a while. That didn't assuage my indignation, and my attitude was rewarded with a scene very similar to the one that just occurred.
DAMN IT!
Come to think of it...I haven't seen her react like that in a long time. Usually she just walks off and leaves me alone to sulk...get it out of my system. I didn't realize it at the time, but her change in tactics conveniently coincided with Marvin letting her in on my little secret. That knowledge softened her retaliation against my little flare ups.
I don't think I will ever forgive him for going behind my back like that. He had no right to tell her about Karen. No right at all! It was a mistake and he knows it...although done with the best of intentions it resulted in the worse of possible consequences.
Maybe that is why she counter attacked tonight? The scene at Sierra Gordo is still fresh in MY mind...I can just imagine what went through hers when I burst accusingly into the room.
Why wouldn't it, you idiot? It's only been a short while since you...since it happened. And of course you had to go and pull something this stupid just as things were beginning to get back on track.
But she was the one who started it...lying to me about where she had been.
She didn't lie to you...she just never mentioned it.
Same thing.
Like hell....
Ok...now I am starting to argue with myself on paper. Not a good sign. Oh...and isn't this just peachy...there's Hawk. Just what I need right now...a lecture from my CO. He is standing at the entrance to the bar scanning the room. Maybe he won't notice me...
Damn it...here he comes.
This month is off to an impressive start, don't you think? On the other hand...it seems that since I am getting all the shit kicked out off me the first few days of October, the rest of the month might not be so ba...
October...
It's October!
OH SHIT! Allie!!! Her father...Scotland...
Dashiell, you IDIOT!!!!
Damn her....DAMN HER!
So THIS is the way she wants to play the game, so be it. If she thinks for one minute I am going to go crawling back to beg her forgiveness after she unceremoniously threw me out of her hotel room she has got another thing coming.
No way is she going to guilt me into dropping this. She has some nerve...I am NOT the selfish one! I am NOT the one at fault here!
Bloody hell...she makes me so mad sometimes. Did she honestly think I wouldn't find out about it? Did she honestly think I would just let Hawk's revelation at dinner fall by the wayside?
FUCK THAT!
We had just completed a very dangerous yet successful mission, eliminating a small group of terrorists who had hijacked a Russian jetliner. Beachhead, Jaye and I managed to sneak on board the plane through the landing gear and torch our way into the cabin unnoticed by the amateurs on board.
Yes, amateurs.
They were complete dunderheads...the lot of them. Beachhead and I both commented on the fact before we left Hawk and Stalker to intercept the jetliner. Not of the caliber we had grown used to fighting. COBRA agents, for all their foibles, are very professional and well trained. This group, from what I had gathered from the research Jaye had done quickly upon her arrival in San Francisco, were mere babes when it came to terrorist activity.
"They may be amateurs, but they are just as deadly. Fear and nerves will make them unpredictable. I suggest you watch your back." Stalker grunted as he got lifted some equipment into the AWE striker.
"He's right, " Hawk nodded his acknowledgement, "Don't let that arrogance get the better of you. Watch yourself...there are over 200 innocents on board that flight. I don't want any mistakes."
Lady Jaye smirked at the word 'arrogance', knowing full well the comment was directed at me and not Wayne. The latter merely nodded, as if he knew it all along.
'Beach' is one of the people I admire most on the Joe team. He is an incredible soldier...patient and deadly. He doesn't take guff from anyone and expects nothing but the best from his fellow soldiers. Anything less is treated by him with the utmost contempt. He and I work very well together...so much so that Beachhead once commented that he was surprised we weren't teamed more often.
I, of course, smiled and joked "Probably because they need us to keep the others in line and alive."
Beachhead laughed.
"You do have an ego the size of Texas, don't you?"
"...but you know I am right."
"Yup...its too bad you lack patience or you might very well outdo even me...although I highly doubt it."
"Who has the ego now, Sneeden?"
"I just know my strengths..."
"...and my weaknesses?"
"Bingo!"
Speaking of weaknesses...my biggest one did a bang up job on the mission, that I will concede. Jaye was superb as usual, playing the role of Russian stewardess so well that I might not have recognized her had she passed me by on the street.
We pulled off the mission without a hitch, and in celebration I decided to treat everyone to dinner in San Francisco when we landed. LJ immediately piped up about restaurants in the area, glaring at me through the hole in the restroom door in irritation. She had managed to get herself locked in there for the entire flight back, much to my amusement and her chagrin!
I vetoed her immediately, knowing full well what her choice of fare was going to end up costing me. For someone who is such a disaster in the kitchen...who could (and has) ruined scrambled eggs and toast...she has a remarkable palate. As Marvin is quick to point out, the woman KNOWS food. I wouldn't be surprised she wasn't a restaurant critic in a previously life. She is a stickler for service too...and a good wine list. Allie can go through an eighteen-page tome of various vintages and pick the perfect one to compliment a meal.
The thing is, as a result of this culinary snobbery the restaurants she picks are usually very expensive. She might not bat an eye at the prices on the menu, but it's enough to give an enlisted man a coronary.
Not to mention the fact that the food she usually orders is a bit too...exotic...for my taste.
"What is it?"
"Fois Gras"
"No. I mean...WHAT is it?"
"Diseased fatty goose liver. It's a delicacy. Aren't you at least going to try it?"
Ugh.
Give me a steak any day! As far as I am concerned if it isn't cooked or recognizable...it isn't going down.
Anyhow...we ended up at a steakhouse near the pier, all of us were having a good time laughing and joking around. The camaraderie was short lived, however, as Hawk soon chose to ask Jaye how her flight requals went.
It was all downhill from there.
I can still see her glaring at me from across the hotel room, mocking me with a quote from the very play whose words initially brought us together.
"O, beware, my lord, of jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on." She sneered.
"Jealous? Of HIM? Ha! He has nothing on me...jealousy has nothing to do with it..."
"What is it then, Flint? Trust? Because if it is then we have a bigger problem than merely your juvenile..."
"JUVENILE!" I strode forward and grabbed her wrist "You should talk, throwing yourself at him every chance you get..."
"Get out!"
"No!"
"GET OUT!!!!" She screeched and before I knew it I had been shoved into the hall forcefully and had the door slammed in my face.
I am currently sitting in the hotel bar nursing a beer, scribbling furiously in this bloody journal. I just came back from a quick march along the streets of San Francisco trying to get hold of myself...trying to reign in my rage...
It didn't work.
That cocky flyboy is just lucky he wasn't included on this mission or he would be in traction by now. He might be a hotshot in the pilot seat but on the ground he is in my domain.
I KNEW it wasn't over between them...I just knew it...
You are probably scratching your head, wondering what the hell I am ranting about. It's that Tom Cruise wanna-be Ace, sniffing around where he doesn't belong. Oh yeah, it seems that he and Alison had a thing going for a while before I joined the team. She says it was over long before I ever came onto the scene, but I see the way he looks at her.
It ain't innocent.
I found out about this little tryst of theirs quite by chance. Well, not EXACTLY by chance, but as neither volunteered the information the news certainly came as a complete surprise.
I still remember sitting in the locker room in a towel and dog tags after a long hot shower, joking with the others when Ace walked in. The morning exercises had been tough and I was looking forward not only to a nice nap but seeing Jaye later on. She had been away for a while on a mission and was due back some time that night.
I had taken a lot of ribbing from the guys those past few days over my relationship with her. Its not as though they didn't know what was going on between the two of us beforehand...I certainly made it very clear to whoever so much as looked at her sideways that she was spoken for...its just that a little scene outside the PITT the other day had everyone talking.
Lady Jaye had decked me. ME! The tough as nails badass Joe warrant officer. She had taken a swing and knocked me flat on my back in front of what amounted to the entire team.
"Hey, Flint...I can see who wears the pants in the relationship!" Wetsuit laughed as he passed by my broken form lying in the dust. Cross Country, in the meantime, looked down from his position in the driver seat of the Rhino and hooted.
"Way to go Jaye...GIRL POWER...Yeee Haaaaw"
I could feel my anger growing as she stood over me, glaring at my prostrate form. Fortunately for her I was still a bit stunned by the whole incident or I would have let her have it. I have never EVER hit a woman before...but honest to god that very moment I was sorely tempted.
I was humiliated, confused and angry...not a good combination. Her words, however, triggered the exact opposite response. Before I knew it we were locked in one heck of a passionate kiss...right in front of all the others...and of course, big wuss that I am, I melted.
I AM NOT GOING TO MELT THIS TIME! No way...I am not going to apologize...I am not going to feel guilty. I know what happened last time she went for her RIO requals. The whole bloody base knows the story I'm sure! I am not going to apologize...I am in control here...I am not going to melt!
Who am I kidding...
Ironically, the right hook...and the events that preceded it...marked the beginning of the end of any form of control I had over this relationship. The beginning of the end of any thought of being able to extricate myself from it simply and painlessly...the beginning of the end of even the thought of extricating myself from it.
Grenada. A place I will remember with both fondness and pain until the end of my days.
Grenada. Where the warning bells first went off and I began to realize that like the skilled covert ops agent that she was, she had stealthily wrapped herself around my heart without my even noticing.
Grenada. Where I became conscious that I loved her.
Stop it...STOP IT RIGHT NOW! No going soft on her. This isn't about Grenada...isn't about us...its about that fool flyboy.
Back to the story at hand...Ace.
The guys had been teasing me for days about 'the knockout kiss'...and I was becoming a bit concerned that they would assume my relationship with her was more serious than what I at that time considered it to be...what I was trying to convince myself that it was!
Regardless, I was certainly unwilling to have anyone question my ability to do my job due to some perceived bias towards her. Nor was I ready to announce my feelings towards the woman in question to the world. In actual fact, at that point I didn't want to admit it to myself.
So of course I joked right back at them...bragging about my prowess as a lover, telling them Jaye never had a chance, playing light on our relationship. Truth be told, as I look back I am ashamed of some of the things I said...locker room posturing is beneath me and moreover belittling to poor Allie...who for sure would be hurt and angry at some of the things I said. I couldn't help myself though...it just came out.
Of course, what I DIDN'T need was for 'Mr Perfect' to point this out to me.
"Don't you know it's not polite to kiss and tell, Faireborn?"
"Lighten up...Zoomie. You're just jealous that you didn't get there first."
"I wouldn't say that." He smirked and turned to retrieve his clothes from his locker.
"What is that supposed to mean?" I growled.
"Hmmm...unlike you, I don't feel a need to broadcast my conquests to the world." He turned back to me and frowned, "especially when it concerns someone as special as the woman of whom you are speaking."
"I hope..." I stood up and clenched my fists "...you are not implying what I THINK you are implying."
Roadblock got up with me, a look of concern growing on his face. He knows me...he knows what I am like.
"Dash, my man...sit down, and Brad...you shut up before this gets ugly."
But Ace just stood there with a cocky, arrogant grin on his face. "You're a smart guy, Flint...you figure it out."
I could feel the anger building inside me...I tried to stop it but as usual it engulfed me before I had a chance. Armbruster must have sensed something, seen my eyes darken, for he took a step back.
"She's mine, Flyboy." My voice was low, threatening.
"Dash...stop this right now." Roadblock put a hand on my shoulder to hold me back from what he knew was coming...the others had fallen silent, watching us intently, "Save your energy for COBRA."
"So now you want her?" He sneered, "She is too good for the likes of you...do her a favor and drop her before you end up hurting her."
"What...so you can have her?"
His eyes flashed amusement...and anger.
"I already have."
With that, I lunged forward, slamming him against the lockers with such force that the sound echoed through the entire floor. Ace is strong, but he is not match for me...especially when I am in the state I was in then.
Not many people are.
"LIAR!" I roared as Roadblock tried to pry me off before I inadvertently killed the little bastard.
"FLINT! STAND DOWN, NOW!" Duke barked as he put himself between us when Marvin finally managed to pry us off each other.
Ace didn't back down, I will give him that. He is a brave little Zoomie...that doesn't make me like him, though. Not in the least.
"Seems I hit a nerve..." He smirked humorlessly, "Christ Flint, you are a piece of work, aren't you? You think she didn't have a history? You think she spent her entire life waiting for a self centered jerk like you to steamroll into her life?"
Duke swung around as Roadblock tightened his grip on me. Damn he is strong.
"Armbruster, I suggest you drop this NOW!"
"No problem, Top..." he smiled as he pulled his shirt on and gathered up his things as I glared down at him. A million thoughts were flying through my head, all colored by the red rage the confrontation had triggered. You better believe he hit a nerve with me...he has NO idea how close he came to serious injury. How close I came to ending up in the brig for assaulting an officer.
As he walked out, I strained against Roadblocks grip and hissed a warning.
"Stay away from her, Ace."
He looked up at me from the doorway and smiled that infuriatingly cocky flyboy grin.
"Don't worry, Faireborn....I'm sure you will manage to screw this up without any help from me."
With that he was gone.
The rest of my afternoon was spent getting talked down by Roadblock and chewed out by Duke. Unpleasant to say the least. They both know me, they know why I reacted the way I did and what I was capable of in that state. They also know how to deal with me in the aftermath. Marvin is a bit kinder about the whole thing...Duke...Duke doesn't hold his punches.
Mind you...if push came to shove I know that both of them would have backed me up regardless of the inappropriateness of my behavior or their feelings of camaraderie towards Ace.
It was a good thing that Alison wasn't around when it happened or for sure there would have been an incident that might very well have split us for good. As it was, Roadblock's warning to pull myself together and Lady Jaye's late appearance on the scene lessened the blow.
With me...that isn't saying much.
I confronted her that very same evening about her relationship with Brad, and she admitted to having had short fling with him which ended well before I joined the team. She hadn't mentioned it as she didn't think it was important, pointing out that it was really nothing special. She had a good time with him but the rapport faded after a while. That didn't assuage my indignation, and my attitude was rewarded with a scene very similar to the one that just occurred.
DAMN IT!
Come to think of it...I haven't seen her react like that in a long time. Usually she just walks off and leaves me alone to sulk...get it out of my system. I didn't realize it at the time, but her change in tactics conveniently coincided with Marvin letting her in on my little secret. That knowledge softened her retaliation against my little flare ups.
I don't think I will ever forgive him for going behind my back like that. He had no right to tell her about Karen. No right at all! It was a mistake and he knows it...although done with the best of intentions it resulted in the worse of possible consequences.
Maybe that is why she counter attacked tonight? The scene at Sierra Gordo is still fresh in MY mind...I can just imagine what went through hers when I burst accusingly into the room.
Why wouldn't it, you idiot? It's only been a short while since you...since it happened. And of course you had to go and pull something this stupid just as things were beginning to get back on track.
But she was the one who started it...lying to me about where she had been.
She didn't lie to you...she just never mentioned it.
Same thing.
Like hell....
Ok...now I am starting to argue with myself on paper. Not a good sign. Oh...and isn't this just peachy...there's Hawk. Just what I need right now...a lecture from my CO. He is standing at the entrance to the bar scanning the room. Maybe he won't notice me...
Damn it...here he comes.
This month is off to an impressive start, don't you think? On the other hand...it seems that since I am getting all the shit kicked out off me the first few days of October, the rest of the month might not be so ba...
October...
It's October!
OH SHIT! Allie!!! Her father...Scotland...
Dashiell, you IDIOT!!!!