Some dirty talk and some good old hoppahoppa, you know (expression courtesy of Aello:-)
I'd like to express my sincere apologies to any housewives out there. It is not that I think so lowly of them. Unfortunately, Harry and Severus have their own minds, god bless them:-)
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Severus Snape pulled his wand. "Enough of these Muggle antics already, Mr. Potter. I am not impressed."
Harry looked at him. The nose was red and swollen, the eyes looked feverishly, the voice was thick and on the verge of breaking under a new attack of violent sneezing. He shrugged his shoulders helplessly. He knew when it was time to admit defeat with this man. Never.
"If you are that impatient, I can't help it. I thought you were the master of patience. Obviously I was wrong, at last where you yourself are concerned."
A deadly stare. "Nice try, Professor Potter. But there are other important things I should be doing instead of amusing myself with watching you play the perfect Muggle housewife."
Harry swallowed and took a good look at Snape's wand. Could he get it and hex the man? Quickly? A look in the eyes of the man thwarted that idea. After looking into them he was under no illusion as to Snape not being at the height of his considerable powers. And Harry was anything but a fool. Foolhardy, yes, but not a fool. Taking Snape's wand would be a foolproof way of getting hit very hard with something quite disagreeable, if only the wounding tongue.
Harry decided to not show his hurt feelings. That had always been best with Snape. Safe. Well, safer. "Such as?", he asked and couldn't help swallowing again. He was not a student anymore, and it didn't do to hurt like a child.
The dark eyes narrowed menacingly and long slender fingers grabbed a vial from the bedside table. The fingers opened, the mouth opened, and the throat swallowed. The vial was carefully replaced.
The dark eyes flashed. The red in them was gone, the fever as well, as was the swelling of the nose. When he started to talk, it was evident that the voice was back to silken softness as well. Potions master, all right, Harry thought. It had been a ridiculous idea.
"Such as", the voice was really back at its best, "watching you being the perfect Wizard lover. And experiencing it." Snape's long arms came out of under the duvet and strong fingers grabbed Harry around the shoulders and pulled him into the other man.
"Oh, that", Harry managed to say meekly, taking in the smell of Snape. That potion really was wondrous, he smelled as sweet and interesting as ever, no trace left of the slightly sour smell of sickness. His skin was smooth and soft under the shirt, the wet shine on the face gone.
Well, for now. Harry grinned smugly. As far as he was concerned, he would do his best to make the man sweat again. Couldn't do any harm to mix Muggle methods with Wizard ones.
The imperious nose was lifted, and Snape looked down along it at his former student who had to remind himself again that he was now a colleague. "Yes, that", the voice said with some conviction and the arms around Harry's shoulders pulled him even closer. "I find you quite talented in that area. More talented, I have to admit than I ever thought you capable of, after your dismal attempts at school work". The voice caressed Harry's ear, invoking all kinds of interesting reactions in him.
"Well, that's something, isn't it?", Harry murmured into the strands of black hair that tickled his nose. "If I fail as a teacher, I can always sell my arse to the public. Arse of the boy who lived, put to the proof by Professor Snape, don't you think that would be something to advertise?"
The arms clamped around him for a second, and Harry couldn't help grinning. "Undoubtedly", the voice showed nothing, "but I think that will not be necessary."
Harry managed to get his head up from where it felt quite comfortable to look into the dark eyes. "Why? Did you change your opinion about my teaching methods?"
An impatient snort. "I have no opinion about your teaching methods, Professor Potter. I refrain from that until you are utterly settled, which no doubt will be some time in the next decade or so. Albus Dumbledore is a patient man."
Harry felt a rush into his cheeks, one that he wasn't especially fond of. It was not good for a teacher who was barely older than his oldest students to blush like that. Much less appropriate in the bed of his formerly most hated teacher. Fuck!
"The headmaster would no doubt be pleased to hear of your belief in him", Harry said in an attempt at dryness. "Then is this why you don't think I will have to sell my arse to the public, because of the unfaltering patience of the headmaster?"
Another irritated snort, directly at Harry's ear. "Yes, Mr. Potter, that and my conviction that we will find something else for you to do before we let you have to fall onto such desperate means." Soft lips were at Harry's ear, he could feel them, even if they just not touched him. Yet.
He chuckled and moved a little more into the embrace. "We, Professor? Who is that we, now? The school, the staff, you and Dumbledore?"
He felt the lips at his earlobe alright, lips and teeth. He shivered with anticipation. But that irritating man didn't bite. Not quite yet. Harry shivered with disappointment. The warm breath of Snape caressed his attentive ear again, and he could stop himself from sighing contentedly and cuddling even more only at the last possible moment. Would not do to give in that easily. The bastard was much to self-assured as it was.
The sweet hot breath became voice. "Meaning you and I, Potter. It is not necessary for you to play the fool even more than you are already." Irritated, the voice was, but Harry didn't mind. Not one bit. He put his hand on the shoulder of the other man, just so that his fingertips could caress the enticingly soft flesh of the neck above the night shirt. Could and would.
"You and I, Professor Snape? What on earth would you mean by such a strange combination of words?" Harry tried to make his voice as flat and vague as he could, but was not so sure if it worked.
It did. The teeth clamped on his earlobe. Harry screamed. And heard a self-satisfied chuckle. Then the voice rose in his tormented ear. "I will not fall back on calling you a brat, Professor, however hard you try to make me do just that." "Oh?", Harry asked, nuzzling his nose into the crook of Snape's shoulder and neck, and sniffing contentedly.
"No, I will not. You are a grown up now, and should be treated like one. There may be exceptions to the rule, if necessary". The Potions master winced and wiggled when Harry put his lips and a little tongue to the crook of his neck.
"Oh may there?", Harry muttered into the soft skin and firm flesh which he had succeeded in making wet again. "But you seem not to be on the height of your powers, Snape. Must be the cold, I think. How else would it be that you haven't yet answered the question?" Harry worried the soft flesh some more.
The lips of the Potions teacher opened and formed a word, silently. Harry felt like grinning. Very very much. Well, until the breath and the lips and the teeth were at his ear again. Then he felt like weeping, or wincing, or crawling into the other man.
"Which part exactly of your never ending stream of babbling do you reckon to deserve an answer?" The lips were brushing along Harry's jaw line, softly and slowly, nipping at his chin, and moving upwards. This only diverted Professor Potter a little bit, he knew that it was meant exactly to do that – to divert him from pressing the question, so that Snape could all the better make fun of him afterwards. For failing desperately, once again.
But he wouldn't. He resisted the urge to let his lips quiver and moan in longing for the touch of those of the other man and made them form his breath into words. "The question, Professor Snape, that you do just anything not to answer. The one relating to my selling my arse to the public if I fail at teaching. What exactly did you mean by 'us' finding another way?"
Severus Snape snorted. It didn't sound as if brought on by his cold. Long slender fingers ruffled the dark unruly hair that always seemed to fall into the forehead of the younger professor. "Obstinate little bugger, aren't we, Potter?"
Harry couldn't help shuffling his head into the strong hands. "I rather got the impression that you liked persistence in me. And as far as buggering is concerned, argh". The lips of Professor Snape had found their goal at last. They captured the other pair of soft rosy flesh and drove all coherent thought out of Harry. He didn't mind. He had gotten more of an answer already than he could have hoped for.
He let his lips do the talking, lips and tongue. They seemed to be quite fond of this kind of talk. He let his fingers explore the head of the other man, something they didn't seem to tire of. His forefinger seemed to be especially attracted by the crease between the brows, the one which made Snape look so forbidding and stern. Harry had found out to his surprise that he was rather fond of it. He let his fingers caress and felt the Potions master sigh into his mouth. Then he pulled away a little, the lips leaving each other with an effort.
"Professor Potter, I find myself at some disadvantage, surely due to my health condition. Some weak spot undoubtedly brought on by it, forces me to assure you that you will never need to sell your arse to the public, as you so articulately put it, as long as I live. Now that you have convinced me of your qualities in care taking, there will always be a place for you on the rug in front of my bed."
Harry had to smile despite himself. "I am impressed. Can you afford me being your nurse?"
Snape snorted again. "Loath though I am to admit it, the Snape family fortune is no small one. I can't bring it down to nothing on myself. I really need a young and reckless person to do that."
"Splendid", said Harry, who was not about to tell the man just now that he had a small fortune of his own, what with what his parents had left him and the two years with the Chudley Cannons. "So you would take me as a Muggle housewife, if my teaching got so abysmal even Dumbledore couldn't take it any longer." He looked at the man beneath him who nodded with a very self-important smile on his face.
"And what about my arse? I think that was what started this conversation?" Harry closed his eyes when Severus reacted in the exact same way he had hoped he would. Those strong hands grabbed his buttocks and pressed Harry into Snape's groin.
"Don't worry about that, Potter", the Potions master growled. "Trust me to see to that, too". From the feeling Harry got, he tended to believe him. "Oh, okay", he gasped, "it was always my goal in life to be a housewife and a whore."
The fingers in his lower back hurt. "Language! Watch your words", Snape snarled and his nails dug into Harry's bottom cheeks. Harry bit into the soft flesh of the enticing neck. "Why?", he muttered, "that's what you meant, wasn't it? Plus, you can't tell me to watch my language. I'm not a student any more."
"So much the worse", was the immediate answer. "As a teacher you have to be a role model." "Here?", Harry couldn't stop himself asking and looked around as if watching out for students in the bedroom.
A slap to his butt was the answer to this. "Always, Potter, always." The slap was alleviated by a heated kiss, which made Harry dizzy and melt into the body under him. "You have most interesting ways to press your point", he admitted, a little breathlessly.
A chuckle. "Thank you, Potter. I really appreciate your approval of my teaching methods. Feel free to take notes." Harry snorted. The man was just too much.
They kissed a little more but Harry felt he couldn't just let that go. He had some problems with his being younger, and new at teaching, and with Snape being his – whatever. He didn't need to be reminded of his position as being quite close to the feminine one of old, in the Muggle world at that. Ron would have an aneurysm if he heard that. Not that he ever would.
But before he could speak, the other man did. No, he couldn't read his mind, Harry knew that much. But he was quite good at acting like he did. "Harry", and Harry shivered at the sound of his first name in that dark whiskey voice, whispering in his ear. "Don't be ridiculous. I know that you are not for sale. I would, of course, buy you if it saved your neck or your self-esteem or whatever. But it will not be necessary, I'm sure. You'll do fine. And much as I don't know why you give your arse to me, freely, I won't need to pay for it to save it. Understood?"
"It comes with the package". Harry smiled through the sudden fogginess in his eyes. "Muggle housewives come with their arse and all, three or more women in one."
Snape shivered. "Merlin, save me. No, you Professor Potter, will be a teacher, some day, and we will devote our time together to the mutual exploration of our respective arses. I've got no use for a cook, a nurse, or something like that. There are the house elves, and there are potions …"
"And you, Professor Snape, are a bit too chatty, today. Must be the vitamins or something. Muggle healing devices don't seem to agree with your esteemed wizardly system."
Harry smiled fondly but not giving in to the urge to become very sentimental indeed. The other man had come down to nearly make a lasting commitment, it wouldn't do to become all soppy about it. That would be a dreadful moment, indeed, Harry Potter crying with joy and Severus Snape glaring and scowling at his worst. Well, perhaps not too bad. But he wouldn't risk Severus running off and never look back. He was quite sure the man was capable of that. He had been a death eater and a spy, but Harry had never met anyone who was as afraid of feelings as the other man. Well, perhaps other than he himself.
He leant into Severus and kissed him fondly, nearly reverently on the mouth. "I have the feeling", the voice of the Potions master was a little rough after the kiss, but audible, "that you meant to express something with your latest statement, Professor. Whatever might that be?"
Harry snuggled one of his hands in between the two groins rubbing at each other without the knowledge of their owners. His hand touched and pressed and held onto the thing it had found. His hand seemed to quite like it, the thing was so hard, and strong, and soft to the touch. And his ears quite liked the reaction of the other man.
"Always so subtle, Potter", Severus Snape ground out after an incomprehensible hiss.
Harry pressed once more. "Well, I have to be, have I not? When you miss your cue?" One finger trailed along his cleft and Harry was hard pressed to wiggle into it. He didn't. Just about. "I never miss my cue", the velvet voice growled. "I thought you were more interested in talking about Muggle devices and their effects on wizards".
The finger was busy and Harry had a feeling that his clothes were not needed any longer. It was warm enough here, even a little hot. He didn't need anything against the cold of the dungeons, well nothing besides one thing. And thing was not the right expression exactly, but he'd be damned if he minced words now with his aching crotch and his arse being treated like that.
Which meant Severus had won again, after all. Harry sighed. "Am not", were the only words he managed to utter while that finger tickled relentlessly. He felt a triumphant chuckle and then the Potions master moved and grabbed something and muttered something under his breath and the next moment Harry felt their bodies press against each other in glorious nakedness and it felt just so gorgeous and when Severus took to the task of exploring his arse in earnest all he could do was moan in approval and do the same to him. But that was quite a bit later, and they ended up all wet and exhausted which couldn't be too good for their health condition but none of them really minded.