Chapter 4 – Heart of the Phoenix
Disclaimers etc in Part One
A/N – Lyrics in this chapter are from Goldie's Theme performed by Cathi Ogden on the "Water Rats" soundtrack. While this song was meant for another show and character entirely, the totally haunting lyrics fit Padme's situation all too well. Along with a heap of talented Aussie and Kiwi actors such as Colin Friels, Dee Smart, Steve Bisley and Catherine McClements - Water Rats also stars Jay Laga'aia better known to one and all in this fandom as Captain Typho.
The pain you are in is too hard to hide my lady.
How can there be so many shadows in your soul at a time when light should reign? You are with child yet his turn towards darkness at this time of radiance for you is almost complete.
I can understand your compulsion to shroud yourself in the black the man you once loved now favours. The man you love may as well be dead.
It is hard for you to accept a love that bloomed in the hell that started the Clone Wars has withered like a rose in the Tatooine sun. You try and focus your energies on your unborn child but there are times when all you can do is wilt.
~*~*~*~
Tell me that the game is over
Tell me I'm dreamin'
Tell me that this pain is over
Just take me away
~*~*~*~
Children need to be children for as long as possible and I wonder what sort of a life your young one will have living in fear of a father who can only have one destiny – that of a warlord.
Your face reflects the turmoil in your mind as you consider your child's chances of survival. The Clone Wars have taken so many we love – Master Windu the most keenly felt of those losses. You wonder, perhaps a trifle too loudly, if yours and the Dark One's offspring are to be the greatest casualty of this war.
Even though you are in the rawest of emotional agony – you still maintain an outwardly regal appearance. All of this leaves me in awe of your courage, intelligence, strength and beauty.
Obi Wan takes you aside and starts to talk to you about one of the worst choices any parent has to make. You know if your child is to survive much beyond birth without being turned to the darkness by its father – separation is the only answer.
You whisper something in Obi Wan's ear and his eyes widen. I see the Jedi Master mouth the word "twins". That you are to be mother of two children instead of one does not change your fate or theirs. Soon after their birth, your little ones must be separated and taken to safe havens. Their lives and yours depend on it.
I allow myself another flight of fancy – seeing myself bounce our son and daughter on my knee. Our little girl would definitely take after her mother being an intelligent and forthright young lady with eyes of the deepest brown.
As swiftly as a lightning storm would sweep through the streets of Coruscant, you allow yourself the luxury of breaking down and giving in to your emotions. I steady myself as you bury your head on my chest, seeking solace from the hell that has become your life. My greatest secret pleasure when you turn to me as more than your head of security – has been borne of your covert pain.
~*~*~*~
Wake me when this game is over
I'm drownin'
Wake me when this game is over, wake me when this game is over
Please lead me home
~*~*~*~
Just like a phoenix must endure a fiery death to begin life again, I know your heart and your tremendous capacity to love will rise from the burning hell created by the Dark One to soar once more. When it does I will be there to fly with you, my lady.