Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
Notes: This is really funnier if you've seen the commercial, but I've been told it's okay if you haven't. *shrugs* I'm takin' everyone's word on this one.
Fedex Commercial
[A large American city, at evening in the late fall]
It's late, it's dark, it's pouring rain, and there's not a taxi in sight. A young corporate lackey (bearing more than a passing resemblance to Otto) runs through the rain, a white package with the FedEx logo on it clutched in his hands. He dashes down the sidewalk, dodging other pedestrians, a look of mounting panic on his face. He pauses to flag down a passing taxi, but to no avail.
Finally, he arrives at the FedEx office. He's soaked to the skin, shivering with cold. He trudges up to the building and pulls on the door--which doesn't budge. It's locked! The office is closed! His boss is gonna kill him! He leans back against the building, defeated, when he spies across the street a small white box bearing the FedEx logo attached to the side of a building. Hope soars in his heart--it's one of the new FedEx drop boxes, now placed outside post offices in cities all over the world! He runs across the street and drops his package into the box. Mission accomplished.
[Two days later, midmorning, in the same American city]
A video conference of some sort appears to be taking place. Trieze sits in his corner office on the top floor of a large office building. He is leaning back in his chair, his fingers beating an impatient tattoo on his desk. On a large screen opposite his desk a boardroom can be seen. Two well-dressed businessmen sit at the large table. Zechs is at the head of the table, leaning forward with his hands folded before him. Beside him sits Trowa, who is leaning back in his chair with his legs crossed, one foot kicking idly. The three sit in silence for some time when the door to the conference room opens. A secretary enters, hands Zechs a white package with the FedEx logo on it, and leaves. Zechs opens it immediately, reaching in to pull out--
A tube of Astroglide.
Trieze looks directly at the camera and smirks. "FedEx. Keeping the machinery of business well lubed."
The camera pans back to the screen on the wall, where Zechs has bent Trowa over the boardroom table. The tall blonde is thrusting furiously into Trowa's willing body. Both wear expressions of almost painful ecstasy. The FedEx logo appears superimposed over the scene.
owari
Notes: This is really funnier if you've seen the commercial, but I've been told it's okay if you haven't. *shrugs* I'm takin' everyone's word on this one.
Fedex Commercial
[A large American city, at evening in the late fall]
It's late, it's dark, it's pouring rain, and there's not a taxi in sight. A young corporate lackey (bearing more than a passing resemblance to Otto) runs through the rain, a white package with the FedEx logo on it clutched in his hands. He dashes down the sidewalk, dodging other pedestrians, a look of mounting panic on his face. He pauses to flag down a passing taxi, but to no avail.
Finally, he arrives at the FedEx office. He's soaked to the skin, shivering with cold. He trudges up to the building and pulls on the door--which doesn't budge. It's locked! The office is closed! His boss is gonna kill him! He leans back against the building, defeated, when he spies across the street a small white box bearing the FedEx logo attached to the side of a building. Hope soars in his heart--it's one of the new FedEx drop boxes, now placed outside post offices in cities all over the world! He runs across the street and drops his package into the box. Mission accomplished.
[Two days later, midmorning, in the same American city]
A video conference of some sort appears to be taking place. Trieze sits in his corner office on the top floor of a large office building. He is leaning back in his chair, his fingers beating an impatient tattoo on his desk. On a large screen opposite his desk a boardroom can be seen. Two well-dressed businessmen sit at the large table. Zechs is at the head of the table, leaning forward with his hands folded before him. Beside him sits Trowa, who is leaning back in his chair with his legs crossed, one foot kicking idly. The three sit in silence for some time when the door to the conference room opens. A secretary enters, hands Zechs a white package with the FedEx logo on it, and leaves. Zechs opens it immediately, reaching in to pull out--
A tube of Astroglide.
Trieze looks directly at the camera and smirks. "FedEx. Keeping the machinery of business well lubed."
The camera pans back to the screen on the wall, where Zechs has bent Trowa over the boardroom table. The tall blonde is thrusting furiously into Trowa's willing body. Both wear expressions of almost painful ecstasy. The FedEx logo appears superimposed over the scene.
owari