Hylian Idol

Disclaimer: K, I don't own any of the people on this fic but the audience. They are owned by the all-mighty Shigeru Miyamoto. All hail Shigeru.

With that out of the way, let's continue! (

Scene opens to show a stage lit by torches, with our hosts, "That runner guy" and Tingle.

That runner guy: Yah! Hello! Welcome to Hylian Idol! As you may already know, our contestants will each perform separately during a different scene! At the end, we'll find out who the Hylian Idol will be!

Audience: Yay!

Tingle: Hello! Anyone want maps?

Audience: Boo!

Tingle: ok, well uh. Our judges! First, please welcome.the Hero of Time.the Triforce of Courage.and the heart throb of Hyrule.(Kooloo-Limpah, Kooloo-Limpah) Link!

Girls in Audience: AAAHHHHHHH! (lots of swooning, heavy breathing, etc)

Link: (combs hair back in girly manner) Thank you! Thank you.

Tingle: Next, the Princess of Hyrule herself.the Triforce of Wisdom (man, how'd she get to be THAT triforce?).and an all around hottie.Zelda!

Men in Audience: Whoo-hoo! Yeah, baby!

Zelda: (staring up at ceiling slack-jawed while twirling hair) (blankly) Whaaaaat?

Tingle: And, finally.King of the Gerudos.

Audience: Boo!

Tingle: Triforce of Power.

Audience: Boo!

Tingle: and horrible villain.

Audience: BOO!

Tingle: (yelling over Audience) It's Ganondorf!

Audience: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Ganondorf: Silence! Or I'll turn you all into Tingle! (points finger threateningly, all hush)

Runner: And now onto our first contestant.care to do the honors, Tingle?

Tingle: Tingle Tingle Kooloo-Limpah!

Runner: (sigh) never mind I'll do it. (runs around in circles at blinding speed) Please welcome.(pant, pant) Malon of Lon Lon Ranch! (stops, heaves and coughs)

Malon: Hey guys! I'm gonna sing...........................................Epona's Song!

Ganondorf: If you didn't see that coming, raise your hand. (no one raises their hand. Zelda eagerly holds her hand high in the air, grinning) *sigh*

Malon: But I wrote my own lyrics!

Link: Farore help us.

Malon: (to Epona's song) Epona, Epona, How I love you so.(with country twang and accent) skin brown like cow manure.

Audience: oog!

Malon: Faster than Speed Racer.. (stops singing) That's it! (

Link: ok, I guess I'll start the commentary, since I AM the best! (does hair flip, winks at camera) Malon, you're performance was good, but only because you are so.how shall I put this.(drools) Zelda?

Zelda: ..........(stares at ceiling dumbly while twirling hair, looks back down, suddenly realizing what is going on and still twirling hair) (stupidly) IT WAS GREEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAT!

Ganondorf: Well, Malon, I'll tell you this. Stay with the cow manure.

Audience; Boo! Hiss!

Ganondorf: After all, it is at all of you measly hylians' levels! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (grins evilly) (Malon runs offstage crying)

Runner: Yah! We'll be back as soon as Tingle stops doing his happy dance!

Tingle: (dancing a happy irish dance)

Link: (looking at script) wait, there is no Ireland in Hyrule!

Runner: Well, there's also not enough people in Hyrule to make an audience, but no one's perfect!

(Link shrugs, lights dim)

So how'd u like it? Good? Bad? Flaming is allowed in all interviews! I was thinking of using Kafei and Anju for hosts, but I'm not sure.