Phew.. -.-* This one's long. This one is like two chapters in one, so please enjoy! Usual disclaimers: This shtuff belongs to The Walking Green M&M himself and Prj Weiß. Oh yeah, one more thing, again in the title.supposed to be umlauts. Thing won't let me spell. Not my fault. Okay.have fun.

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Schuldig stared at Crawford. He didn't look angry, but he could feel it; pure anger emanating from the older man. Schu was trying to think of something he had done. Crawford was obviously mad at him, but what did he do? He couldn't think of anything.

"So, what is it Crawford?" Schuldig said in a quiet voice.

Crawford stared back at him. He was so angry with Schuldig. If he had known he was so young, he never would have touched him. But he did, and now he felt like he was one of those child molesters you here about on the news. It wasn't an image he was enjoying.

He calmly said to him, "Just tell me how old you are."

His age? "I'm 15."

"Aahhhh!" Why, why, why. Crawford brought his hands up and buried his face in them. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Schuldig stood up. "I didn't think would be an issue."

Crawford snapped his head up and stared at him. "Not an issue? You are a child, you are under age, you are younger than my brother for God sakes! It's just wrong."

Schuldig folded his hands in front of him. "Well, it didn't seem wrong that time."

Schu looked at Crawford very solemnly. He really didn't think it was an issue. He was so used to people liking his age. The younger, the better seemed to be a motto among his fellow associates. It was just habit to assume that Crawford would be the same. He knew that Crawford was nothing like everybody else, so why did he assume that this one detail would be different? He didn't know. He didn't think, again. Schu kicked himself inwardly for not bring it up earlier.

So he stood there, bearing the sting of Crawford's anger.

"Well, it didn't seem wrong because I didn't know that you were only a child!" Crawford snapped at him. "How the hell do you do the things you do at your age? How did you get into that bar and drink with those guys?"

Schuldig answered, "I know the owner and he knows me and the guys all buy me drinks."

"And the smoking?"

"It's not that hard to find some guy that'll sell you some cigarettes."

"And I'll bet you've gotten drunk off your ass too."

Schu was trying his best to not sound completely upset. "I probably have the worst liver a 15 year old has ever had, but then, what the hell do I have to live for."

Crawford was so frustrated right now. Schu didn't seem to see all this in his perspective. "Don't you see what is wrong here.doesn't any of this bother you?"

Schuldig stepped toward him, "Well, sure I see what's wrong here, but this has been my entire life, so I've learned to not see the wrong and just go with the entire situation."

Crawford could see that there was sorrow in Schuldig's face. Now he could see his years, or lack there of. He knew now why he looked so innocent, because he still was. But this didn't excuse the fact of the matter. "You do realize I have just committed statutory rape?"

"You can't rape the willing."

"That's not the point!" Crawford said rather loudly. " I can get in trouble for this."

Schuldig took another step forward. "Eins: Who the hell here would say anything anyway, und Zwei: If I remember correctly, I did all the work, so technically, you did nothing to me."

The two of them stared at each other.

"I really wish you wouldn't overreact about this whole thing," Schuldig said wanting to break the silence. He took another step toward Crawford. Crawford took a small step back.

Why is it such a big deal to him? This guy is the only guy Schuldig ever met that that a problem with his age. Okay, granted he didn't associate with too many other men.but still. This hurt, this hurt really bad. Schu wanted so badly to run over and wrap his arms around Crawford, but he knew the older man wouldn't let him. The one person he felt so strongly about hated him so much now. It figures.it fucking figures.

"I am not overreacting," Crawford said calmly. But how could he not overreact? His feelings about the whole thing were just overwhelming. They were all jumbled together; he didn't know what he was feeling.anger, frustration, disappointment, yet somewhere in there, he still felt.something.toward him.

Schuldig didn't know what to say, and now Crawford was out of things to say. Then, suddenly, Crawford turned and started to walk out of the room.

Schu panicked. No, please don't leave.come back. "Bradley, stop!"

Crawford stopped, turned, and looked at him. He waited for Schuldig to say something.

Schuldig wanted to say something, but nothing came out. Say something you, you moron. He opened his mouth but no words escaped.

Tell him how you feel, tell him that age doesn't matter to you. //Brad, Ich liebe dich!\\

The thought never reached Crawford's mind. He never heard him. The older man turned and continued out the door toward his own dorm room.

//Schuldig!\\ he screamed at himself, //Get out there and get him! You are going to lose him forever.\\ Schuldig walked to the door and stuck his head out to see Crawford's back quickly walking away.

"Bitte Crawford," he yelled down the hall. "Ich liebe dich!"

Crawford was just about to turn a corner and he stopped and looked back at Schuldig leaning against the doorframe. What did he just say? No, he just did not. Why did he say that? He couldn't, the boy can't feel that way toward him.

Crawford stared at Schu. He should say something, but he didn't know what. Crawford just shook his head and continued to his room.

He lost him. Schu stood there in shock. What was he going to do? Crawford was the only thing he gave a damn about right now and he was gone. Oh God, he messed up. He needed some air and a cigarette.

Schu stepped outside and stood by one of the entrances to the building. The nicotine helped calm his tears. He slumped down and buried his head in his lap, the cigarette slowly burning itself out.

Then Schu heard footsteps approaching. He didn't care. Let him get in trouble.

"Why Schuldig, what are you doing out here at this late hour?"

Schu looked up to see a familiar face approaching his position. "Ah, Herr Doktor. Good evening."

"Please Schuldig, I've told you to call me Klaus. You look upset. Is there anything I can do to help?" The Doktor smiled at him.

Schuldig took a drag of his cigarette and looked out to the courtyard in front of him. "Nein."

The Doktor moved closer. "You know, you look like you are in a state that you shouldn't be alone. Perhaps you would like to come to my office and we could, ummm.talk."

Schuldig looked at him. Mixed memories flooded into his mind. "Ja, I would like that."

The Doktor helped Schuldig off of the ground. Schu inhaled one last breath of the cigarette and threw it to the ground. The two men walked off to the Doktor's office.

**********************

Crawford sat at his desk and stared at the door. He was expecting Schuldig to walk in at any moment. He didn't 'see' Schu walking in and of course, he never did. He wished he would, though.

Crawford wanted to..apologize? Not necessarily say he was sorry, but to say that he overreacted.yes he did overreact. The man had some time to think about it... everything.

Okay, so he acted hastily. He was pissed as hell; who wouldn't? The more he thought about it, the more he realized that his age didn't bother him immensely. When he's, like, 27, Schuldig will be.ummm.22. Okay, that's not that bad; five years, but still. It made him shiver.yes, shiver.a little.

He also thought about what Schuldig yelled at him through the hall. He hoped no one heard that. But, did he mean it? Did the other man really feel that strongly about him? It made him think about his own feelings for Schu. Was it love? No, it couldn't be.could it? It was all very confusing.

{{Schuldig was standing behind a screaming man, his hand on the man's mouth. Blood coming from his ears.}}

Crawford blinked. That man.that was the Doktor! What the hell was Schuldig doing?

Crawford got up and walked out the door. He dug into his mind for another precognition. What was going on?

{{The Doktor was leaning over Schuldig on the couch, kissing him. Schuldig was crying.}}

Crawford ran to the office. Oh no! That old fart was not going to touch his Schuldig.

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The Doktor touched his face. "You know, Schuldig, it has been awhile since I have visited you. Getting into the city has been very hard this past year. I'm rather pleased we were able to get a hold of you. Aren't you?"

Schuldig forced a smile. "Thrilled."

He knew what was coming. This wouldn't be the first time the Doktor had come to him. Schu could read everything he was planning in his mind. He didn't care right now. He figured it might be a good way to forget about these evening's events.

The Doktor placed his lips on Schuldig's neck and gently began to suck at it. Schuldig did nothing. He just stood there.

The Doktor stopped. "Hmm.you're not responding? Oh, I know why." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wad of bills. He threw them on the coffee table. "There you are, 700 marks." He kissed him again.

Schuldig stared at the money. He felt the Doktor push him onto the couch and climb on top of him. Schu just stared at the money.

That is what drove him, pieces of paper. That is why he did this in the first place; so he could eat, so he could buy clothes, so he could earn his little hole-in-the-wall that he lived in. He started to cry.

The Doktor had Schu's shirt off and was starting to take off his own.

Schuldig thought back to the past four months he'd been there, how far he had come. He actually started to feel something and everything suddenly wasn't about sex. He came out of the shell he had put himself into. But going back into it was hard. He thought he could do it and just enjoy the sex, but he couldn't. Suddenly, this partner wasn't the income he had always seen him as, he was a really old man who can't get laid any other way with his lips all over Schu.

He hated this. He wanted out now. Schu didn't want to do this anymore. "Stop!"

The Doktor stopped and looked at him. "Was?"

"I said stop. I don't want to do this!"

The Doktor clenched his shoulders "Well, you don't have much of a choice, young one." He planted his lips on Schu's. Schuldig bit him.

He felt something hard hit his face. His vision turned white, then black, then back to normal. "What do you think I am paying you for, boy?" he heard.

I'm not like that anymore. I don't have to be like that anymore. I'm not the whore that you know.

He reached out and grabbed the Doktor's thoughts.

"I am not going to be your backdoor whore."

Schu pulled every thought he could.

The Doktor stopped and grabbed his head, pulling at his hair. He backed off of Schuldig.

"I am not your plaything, nor anybody else's."

The Doktor turned around and started to scream. Schuldig grabbed his head and put his hand over the Doktor's mouth to try and silence him. The Doktor struggled.

Schuldig pulled at his thoughts, twisting and manipulating them. He pulled them out of the man's mind and into his own. Some he let slip elsewhere. He pulled the man's mind inside out.

"I have had enough of you," he said sadistically. He threw his own mind into the Doktor's and ripped it through anything he had left in there. Blood began to drip from his ears.

Suddenly the door busted open and Crawford ran in and stopped. Schuldig didn't look at him. He just let the last of the Doktor's mind slip into oblivion until he felt nothing left. Schu let go of the man and let him drop to the floor.

Schuldig?" Crawford quietly said to him.

Schu stared at off at nothing. "You know," he finally said, "That felt really good."

Crawford came over, leaned down and felt the Doktor's neck. No pulse. "Do you realize what you've done?"

"Perfectly. And I think I could do it again."

Crawford stood up and looked into Schuldig's eyes. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"Come on. Let's get out of here before someone finds us."

Crawford walked Schuldig back to his own room. "Crawford?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you ever killed anyone before?"

"Yes I have."

"Did you get a rush from it?"

Crawford thought about it. "No, I feel nothing."

Schuldig wrapped his arms around Crawford's one arm. Crawford didn't do anything. "Does that make me a bad person because I enjoyed it?"

They stopped in front of Schuldig's room. "No, I think it just makes you a product of this place. Get some sleep." He walked away.

"I'm sorry," Schu said after him.

Crawford turned as he kept walking. He just looked at the younger man. "Gute Nacht, Schuldig."