Disclaimer: Characters not mine, rama rama ding ding. ( Also, I smell
romance, which is always evil, so I'll try to keep it limited-ROMANCE KILLS
IN LARGE DOSES!
Peregrin or "Pippin" Took sat in the middle of Farmer Maggot's wheatfield, whistling a light tune as he watched the sun fade behind the forest's tallest trees. Occasionally he popped a succulent mushroom or two into his mouth, but he was otherwise totally relaxed as he sat propped up against a large boulder. His chestnut colored hair was as curly as usual, his brown and off-white tunic and breeches weren't exactly clean but had a thin layer of dirt over them, and his paunch was getting to be a bit more rotund.
Pippin was generally in high spirits, just thinking about the party Sam Gamgee had planned. Apparently Legolas was supposed to show up and be the guest of the hour, and he had promised Pippin that he would bring the most luscious elven women he could find in his area. Meanwhile, there were reports of new hobbits having moved to their area of Hobbiton, and Merry had said that there were quite a few seductive hobbit women also coming to the party. Pippin grinned. A few years back, Legolas had given a gift to him that Galadriel had given him in the days of old but had not told any of the other fellowship members about. She had told him to dispense of it as he pleased, since, as an elf, he was immortal anyway. It was the gift of youth.
Pippin had basically shed all of the years he had spent with the fellowship, yet he had not shed either the memories of their travels or the girth he had accumulated since those days of journeying, saving the world, and being attacked by Orcs, etcetera.
Yet he had a rude and abrupt awakening that all of his heroic deeds had not for all Middle Earth made him more of a friend to Farmer Maggot as he heard Maggot's bellows from his carrot bed. Hastily, Pippin popped the carrots he hadn't finished along with his leftover mushrooms into his mouth and fled as fast as he could away from the crime scene.
"Cousin Pippin, where are all of the pastries Sabla made?" Merry Brandybuck turned from the wooden cupboards to look at his cousin. Pippin looked a bit too plump for his liking, and Merry crossed his arms across his waist. "Pippin Took, how dare you eat all of them! You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself," he said, looking at Pippin condescendingly. Pippin gave a lopsided grin and a wink. "I assure you, I am throroughly ashamed of myself. Why, if I do that again, I may wind up being as shamefully blubbery as you!" Merry gave a pouty face. "Might I remind you that you're the one who can't fit into any of your clothing? Just look at yourself, Pippin! You should be ashamed! I'm surprised you can still fit through the doorway!" As far as Pippin was concerned, it was unreasonable to think that anyone could recover from Aragorn's acts of sudden starvation without making up for it with a bit of interest for time lost. "If that's what you think, all right...but if I may be so bold, I believe that you've grown more ugly in addition to growing more corpulent, Monstrous Meriadoc!" "Ah, Ponderous Peregrin, when you walk, the ground shakes as if thousands of Orcs are thundering down the countryside!" Pippin flinched at this analogy. "Please, no mention of Orcs. Let's just get ready for Sam's party." "Yeah, all right. Let's see if Sabla's found clothes that can fit you yet!" "And a bag for your head!" Laughing, the two cousins walked jovially into their rooms to dress.
Sam Gamgee looked proudly at his work. Over the past few days, he had set up stumps for sitting upon, wooden tables, linen tents, and he had Merry and Pippin's luscious maid Sabla cook some simply divine meals. He had called in a group to play on mandolins during the dancing, sent out invitations, and recieved word that Legolas was on his way with four voluptuous elven maidens. "One for you, Sam, one for Merry, one for Pippin, and one for me. All right, I shall admit that mine is truly my fiancee and not just some courtesan, but yours are her sisters, and they have heard tales of you all and get extremely worked up at any mention of you three. As usual, the thoughts of "halflings" invoke wild dreams and fantasies, perhaps, but even more so in Laetitia, Liadan, and Siofra. Which, I assure you, is much reason to celebrate..."
Sam rubbed his hands together in glee. Everything was going ever so well! If only Mister Frodo was still around to enjoy it all beside them...
"Well Pippin, it's about noon. Shall we head down?" Merry finished pulling on a tunic. "Aye, shall we?" Pippin called from the kitchen, where he finished filching a few unfortunate crumb cakes from the pantry. He smacked his lips and licked the last crumbs from his fingers. At that moment, Merry walked into the room.
"You did not just..." "You are so right! Erm...shall we be going?" Merry rolled his eyes. "You are an absolute disgrace! Come along before you eat the rest of what's in our larders!" Merry gripped Pippin's wrist and pulled him through the rest of the house and through the door.
Sam smiled and waved as hobbits from all over Hobbiton streamed in through the tents, eating food, talking, and laughing to each other, just sharing the good times and exaggerating the bad to anyone who would listen. Children from all over sat around Merry and Pippin eagerly, listening to their recount of their travels with the fellowship, as the children knew that these were grave facts and not exaggerated tales of infested crops.
Yet one young hobbit was doubtful. "Maryadock, are you a'sure this stuff really 'appened?"
Merry squatted low in front of him, looking at him through squinted eyes. "I've got proof, me little friend. Here's the brooch that Lady Galadriel gave me, and you'll notice that my cousin Pippin is wearing his too. In fact, if you would take time to look at Samwise, the one throwing this shindig, you'd see he's got his pinned on too."
All of the young hobbits made small squeaks of awe as they struggled to get closer to get a good look at the brooches. Yet the doubtful little one was not yet satisfied.
"Well, if yer don' mind me arskin', where's all the other peoples tha' acc-accom-accompanonieded you?"
A flash of sadness went through Merry and Pippin's eyes simultaneously. "Boromir was killed defending I and Pippin, a brave man like none other, Gimli went back to his own kind, having encountered a sadness like none other at Moria, Aragorn is now the King of Gondor, a land far from here, Gandalf has gone off to who knows where on wizarding business, our good friend Frodo Baggins has traversed to a better life beyond life, and...and here comes Legolas down the road!" His face brightened as he and Pippin ran to greet the dashing elf with long blonde hair, beautiful features, and his bow and quiver slung over his shoulder who stood talking to an excited Samwise Gamgee.
Besides Legolas stood four beautiful elven women with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and slender yet still delicately curved bodies, wearing silken pastel gowns that were equally flattering. One of them in particular held onto Legolas's hand and gazed at him adoringly, and as he was running Merry thought he saw a twinkle on her finger that only a diamond could project.
"Legolas! How have you been? Life without you, Aragorn, Frodo, Gandalf, Gimli, and Boromir has been excruciatingly dull, especially with these two about!" Merry said as he flung his arms about Legolas with joy.
Legolas gave a silent laugh, in spite of his dignified elf self. "Them? Look who's talking, Meriadoc Brandybuck!?"
"Aye, my point exactly, Legolas, wot a rascally beast of a hobbit," Pippin said, puffing a bit from the run across Sam's property.
"So Legolas, how've you been without having us handsome beasts to kill Orcs with?" Legolas grinned at Pippin's question. "Much improved, I can tell you!"
Merry, Pippin, and Sam pretended to pout, amid much giggling from their child followers. However, Pippin seemed to recover first, turning his boyish eyes to the four delicate elven women Legolas had brough with him.
"And who may I have the honor of addressing?" he said eloquently, bowing and kissing each girls hand. Legolas smiled.
"Ah, yes. Well, this is my fiancee, Grainne. Grainne, this is Meriadoc or "Merry" Brandybuck, Samwise or simply "Sam" Gamgee, and Peregrin or "Pippin" Took, each members of the fellowship of the ring I was so priveliged to be a part of."
Grainne smiled pleasantly and leaned her delicate head against Legolas's muscular shoulder. Legolas smiled at her lovingly, then continued with the introductions: "These three are Grainne's sisters, Vivenne, Laetitia, and Alana. I had told them that you'd be here, and they were sincerely euphoric to finally attain the honor of meeting three other members of the fellowship of the ring."
Vivenne and Alana smiled winsomely, yet Laetitia seemed a bit more enthused, and she talked rapidly in her melodious, flowing voice. "I've always longed to meet you three halflings that Legolas spoke of so often. I've never seen halflings before, but I won't get into that, as I presume you've heard that more times than you've wished to. Am I right?" She gave a lilting laugh as all of the three hobbits nodded their curly topped heads solemnly.
Legolas lightly kissed Grainne on her forehead, then turned back to the hobbits. "Since this is Hobbiton, I presume that it will be no trouble to get some edibles for us? It has been a long trip, as you three know."
No sooner had he uttered those words than Pippin grabbed his hand and pulled him after him, saying only: "To the eatables! Amen!"
After they had all eaten, Laetitia joined the group of young hobbits listening to Merry and Pippin's tale of their adventures in the Fellowship of the Ring, and she had Merry's nephews Bronach and Cuan, two solemn little fellows, propped up against her and Bronach was curled up in her lap. Her sisters Vivenne and Alana were dancing with some young male hobbits who were almost three feet shorter than them, and Legolas and Grainne sat together, gazing up at the stars.
Merry and Pippin had just finished telling of their encounter with Fangorn himself, and were elaborating on how absobloodylutely boring an Entmoot really was when they announced that Sam was going to take the story from there with whatever he had been doing at the same time in Mordor. Then they both stepped out for a breather. Or so everybody thought.
"I can't believe they actually thought we'd give up on our mischevious pranks. I mean, honestly. You'd think they'd be stalking us to make sure that we didn't do anything horribly scandalous like before." Pippin finished saying as he went through the entertainment tent.
Meanwhile, Merry was going through random shelves also, and was having some spots of difficulties.
"There's absolutely nothing we can do without killing anyone!" Merry said in an exasperated manner, slouching up against the wall. Pippin finished rummaging through the tent and leaned out to give Merry an odd smile.
"I say, Merry, are there any matches in ther?"
"I'm not going to do anything pyromaniacal, Pippin!"
"But what if it has to do with dragons?"
Merry stepped closer towards Pippin, excitement mounting by the moment.
"Dragons, did you say?"
"Aye, dragons."
"Not-not the dragon firecrackers that we used before the fellowship when Gandalf came to town and we were stuck washing dishes?"
"Aye, the very same!"
Merry did a little dance of joy. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
Pippin rolled his eyes. "May I have the matches, Merry?"
Merry stopped in the middle of his jig. "Oh, yes, of course. One moment."
Merry tossed Pippin an intricately designed matchbox.
"Thank you!" Pippin said as he pulled his head back into the entertainment tent.
"Wait for me!" Merry ran in after him.
***
Rowena Inoegard had anticipated feeling out of place at this party, after all, she knew none of these joyous peoples. Yet she shared in their joy, and hoped that one day she would know these hobbits well enough to show it.
She was only in her mid-forties, which is just entering middle age for a hobbit, and her burnished auburn locks of hair framed her face beautifully. She had large almond shaped eyes, each iris a whirlwind of honey to chestnut coloration, and she had freckles scattered across her perfect nose and onto her cheeks. Her full lips were red from berry juice, and only those exceedingly priveliged or simply brutal and evil ever got near them, and never without a fight. She had perfect, natural curves and was extremely noticeable, but this night she felt more like a wallflower than ever before thought possible.
For a while, she had gone over to see what the children were doing, and when she saw the two plump and mischevious yet good looking hobbits telling a story that seemed too outrageous to be true but was, as one of the two had explained to a doubtful youngster, she had tarried a while.
Afterwards, she had gone over to where a few people were talking to some Elves who had stopped by as the guests of honor; apparently the dashing male one was a member of the fellowship the two good looking hobbits had been talking about or something.
But now she just wished to get a drink of some strong wine, which she needed to do whenever she had the kind of headache she did now. She squeezed through three corpulent old hobbits and a group of children playing an old country game that had been passed through the ages and was finally at the tent she had thought the wine had been in. However, when she opened the flap, quite a different scenario met her eye.
***
"Hold it up steady Pippin..."
"Shouldn't we do this outside? Last time we busted the tent..."
"But this year there's more people milling about! Here...let's just do it here...anyway, Legolas has never seen it before. Let's keep it a surprise..."
"Okay, I'm lighting the match..."
"Excuse me, do you know where the wine tent is?"
Merry and Pippin whirled around from their mischevious works to see a luscious young hobbit woman standing in the doorway, looking slightly uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as they as their hormonal instincts of babbling, acting stupid, and blushing kicked in.
"The wine tent?"
"Hmmm...the wine tent..."
"Wait, Merry, did you just light the firecracker a moment ago?"
"Well, yes, I mean-"
The firecracker exploded through the roof of the tent the moment the female hobbit, Merry and Pippin had dropped to the floor.
"Get outside for this!" Pippin said, boyish glee spreading across his features. The three scurried outside of the tent just as it prepared to explode.
"Look, a firecracker!" the shout went out as from the outside hobbits saw the firecracker spiraling far up into the sky. It caught Legolas's attention,who brought it to the other three elves's and they all looked upwards with keen interest. Because of their sharp eyesight, though, they saw something nobody else did.
"That's no ordinary firecracker-"
The firecracker burst into an enormous flame shaped like a glowing monstrous dragon, risen from the pits of Mordor. It swept down at the party, where hobbits and even the Elves had to beat undignified retreats. As Merry, Pippin, and the female ran away from the entertainment tent and into the open, the dragon swooped so low that the wind knocked them flat. It rose up into the sky again, blazing like a burning ember, up until it was almost just a speck of fire, the suddenly it exploded with a huge flash of red, orange, and yellow light.
"Busted..." Merry whispered from the corner of his mouth as Farmer Maggot, The Gaffer, and even Sam Gamgee came over to look at them scathingly. Pippin tried a weak smile and Merry even pulled off a lopsided one, but the young woman seemed totally dazed and at a major loss.
"Meriadoc and Peregrin! What is the meaning of this? Fool of a Took..." The Gaffer said angrily. Pippin flinched, remembering how Gandalf the wizard had once said the same to him... "Just wanted to..." "To, um..." "Er...yes, to...to..." "To light a match?" "Yes, very good choice of words, Merry. We just wanted to light a match!" "And...we had some...some technical difficulties..." They both nodded innocently.
Farmer Maggot turned his gruff attention to the beautiful young female hobbit, who seemed to have slightly recovered. "Who're you an' wot do yew have ter do with this?"
She seemed to have regained some of her dignity, although it took everything she had too keep from bursting into laughter at the two irrepressible hobbits trying to look angelic in front of her.
"I'm Rowena Inoegard, new to the area. I was looking for the wine tent, when I realized that I, um, had, er, stepped onto the-the hallowed ground-of a, uh..." Pippin mouthed some words to her, winking afterwards at her boyishly. "A most unfortunate accident where, uh..." Merry whispered some words to her also, his eyes twinkling. "These two were just looking to light some candles on a cake for the guest of honor's arrival and...things went horribly awry..." her voice trailed off as she struggled to smother her laughter.
Sam frowned. "Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took, I don't understand...if only Mister Frodo and Mister Bilbo were here, they'd sort things out..." The Gaffer squinted at the three miscreants that were fidgeting in discomfort. "Or if Gandalf were. I'm sure he'd magick them up a tree..." "Or Gollum..." Sam added in a hushed tone, as if the damned creature would appear behind him, still seeking his ring.
Pippin and Merry gave weak smiles. "He'd just talk us to death, whining about his Precious..."
All of these comments meant nothing to Rowena, who sat between their bantering, almost wishing she hadn't come to this party.
At the same moment, Pippin turned to her, grinning.
"You have no idea of what we're talking about, do you?"
She shook her head, smiling at him with relief. Farmer Maggot rolled his eyes and went off to torment some other delinquents, and an exasperated Gaffer followed him, leaving Sam, Pippin, Merry, and Rowena alone.
Sam sat down on the grass with them. "So Rowena, which part of Hobbiton are you from?" he said, trying to stop gazing at her cleavage. She was wearing a short, lovely red dress that glittered and showed off her voluptuous curves to all their advantage. He let out a sigh as she responded.
"Actually, I...I'm not really from Hobbiton, although you could say that I am, but..."
Not noting her discomfort, Sam pressed further. "Do I know your family, perchance? Inoegard isn't the most familiar of names to me..."
Rowena flushed. "Er..."
Pippin stepped in for her. "Perhaps we can continue this conversation later, but for now I know I need a drink and Rowena, I believe, does also. Does anyone else want anything?" Merry grinned at him. "A pint," he said, "But only if they come in pints."
Pippin grinned back at him, then turned to Sam. "Anything for you, Samwise?"
Sam shrugged his broad shoulders. "That's all right. I think I'd better check in with Rose."
Merry snorted. "Well isn't that nice, doddering old Merry has to stay by himself...I think I'll go see Legolas!" he snorted again and turned on his heels, then tripped over a root and fell flat on his face.
"Who said that root could grow there, huh? Hey! It's-not-funny..." he said, bursting into laughter along with Rowena, Sam, and Pippin as Sam left to go talk to his wife, Rose, and Rowena and Pippin headed for the wine tent.
As Pippin filled up a pint for himself and Merry, Rowena felt herself blushing. As he began to fill a glass of Damson Wine for her, she blurted out what had been on her mind.
"Listen, thanks about before, I mean, well, you know..."
Pippin smiled and handed her the Damson Wine she had requested.
"You don't need to thank me, honestly. I know how Sam can be; although he's kind, he can be a bit slow on the uptake. But he's still one of the more honorable and wonderful hobbits here in Hobbiton."
She nodded as she drank her Damson Wine. She felt herself blushing; something about this hobbit in particular...he was so sweet and funny, yet there was an air of unspeakable sadness that seemed to accompany him, hiding behind each grin, wink, and gale of laughter.
Pippin felt himself smiling a bit foolishly; hadn't he been through enough, and now falling in whatever-this-was-in-relation-to-the-big-four- letter-word-that-started-with-"L"? He tried not to think of the comrades he had lost, loved, or left, and how he wished he could see them enjoying such happy times. He could hear Boromir, Denethor, Gandalf, Faramir, Aragorn, Arwen, Frodo, Eowyn, Eomer, Treebeard, Galadriel, and more; their laughter and voices chiming together, echoing in his mind.
Rowena broke the uncomfortable silence as she polished off her cordial.
"So...so that story you were telling before, it was true?"
Pippin nodded solemnly. "Every word of it and more," he said, hearing his voice crack.
He polished off his pint, then nodded to Rowena. "Shall we go deliver Merry's pint which comes in a pint?"
Rowena smiled back at the irrepressible, charming hobbit. "Of course we shall," she said, noting embarrassedly the demure purr her voice had become.
Pippin grinned back at her, linked arms, and nodded. He began skipping and singing with Merry's drink sloshing over the sides of the mug, dragging Rowena along, laughing. Other hobbits had to jump out of his way, shaking their heads.
Later, as some hobbits were leaving and even more were arriving with the sun not far behind them, Pippin lay on his back next to Rowena, pointing out the stars that were fading.
"See that? Smaug the Dragon. I had the honor of knowing the one hobbit who killed him, and his nephew, a wonderful friend; and the Ringbearer..."
Rowena got more comfortable on the grass, propping herself up on her hand, thoughtfully looking into his twinkling eyes.
"It hasn't been just peachy for you, has it?" she said reflectively, after having listened to only part of his story before.
Pippin grinned, although he was only temporarily hiding his sadness.
"No, it's been just the opposite, but if you just stick on a foolish grin and do whatever you want to do, it makes the quality of life much more interesting!" he leapt up, laughing, then turned a cartwheel and fell on his rear end, laughing uproariously. Rowena laughed along with him, although it felt strange to be filled with such joy, over a...male hobbit. She flinched as a vision flew through her head of her father and brother, tying her to a chair, whipping her, cutting her, then of her brother's friend, Gruvven, chaining her to a bed and inflicting much worse damage...
Pippin's concerned look brought her back to Middle Earth.
"What did you say? I'm sorry, I-"
He shrugged off her comment and stared deep into her eyes. "I didn't say anything of relevance, don't worry"-his eyes twinkled momentarily- "But I did want to know if you're quite all right. If this is an appropriate time for me to join my confused, unattractive, and fat cousin Merry, it's quite all right..."
Rowena sat up abruptly, reaching out to grasp his wrist to make him stay. "No, please..."
The first rays of sunlight streamed out over the hills of Hobbiton, lighting everyone and everything up in an ethereal, majestic, and unbelievable manner. Rowena sucked in her breath at the beauty of it all as Pippin sat back down in front of her.
"Then what do you want to do?"
Rowena blushed as she felt his warm breath brush her cheeks, and Pippin felt himself turning red as a brief wind sent the sweet smell of her perfume his way. He felt himself nearing closer to her, and Rowena felt herself being pulled in, forgetting of her abuse of long ago.
Suddenly Merry marched in, playing loud, cacophonic sounds on an old trumpet, wearing a ridiculous red hat with golden tassles and bronze colored jester shoes. Rowena and Pippin felt the tractor beam between them disconnect as they clapped both of their hands to their ears, as did just about everyone else in the area.
Blast it, Pippin thought to himself as he looked briefly at the gorgeous, sensually curved Rowena who was doing everything she could to block out the squawking coming from the instrument Merry was abusing. She was so...so...Pippin closed his eyes in order to block out any more thoughts of her, and to block out Merry's object of improper affection's squawks of misuse.
Merry grinned foolishly and jumped in front of Pippin. "'Ello, young cousin!" he said, kicking his feet up into the air and landing on his rear. "'Ello, young person!" he said, tipping his oversized hat to Rowena, who rolled her eyes. Yet her bright smile revealed her true feelings of happiness and joy. Her entire facial expression, though, was lost on Merry as he turned back to Pippin.
"Pippy! Pippy Pippy Pip Pip Pippin!" he said hysterically, turning a somersault. Pippin rolled his eyes but couldn't help but giggle at his irrepressible cousin. "One too many pints, eh, cousin?"
Merry leapt up and did a backflip, falling back and giggling at his own antics. Pippin and Rowena laughed aloud as his hat flew up into the air, then fell on one of the Proudfoot family members feet, who leapt up angrily and pursued a laughing, running Merry across Sam's property.
Finally the crowd began to disperse, and Pippin realized, with a abnormal emotional emptiness in his stomach, that Rowena would be leaving. Legolas and his "lady friends" as Merry had said with a giggle, would be staying for another moon or two. Yet Pippin still did not know where Rowena lived, and his joy ran out as nervousness replaced it as he walked up to her uncomfortably.
"Er, Rowena..." she turned around, her face glowing and her eyes twin pools of light and laughter, and Pippin's voice trailed off as he continued mouthing pointlessly.
Rowena smiled at him sweetly, and Pippin felt himself melt under her gaze. "I, er, well...you never told me where you lived, and if I'm to annoy you, I'll need to know..." he winked at her, relieved that he hadn't sounded too eager to know where she had just moved to.
She smiled understandingly, and looked up at the sky as she tried to remember exactly where she lived.
"I think...I just moved to...hmmm...ah yes! Do you know of the hobbit hole next to...next to, I believe, Merry's hole and in between that and another, spacious one about on the border of that farmer's field? That's where I live...I think..." she flashed a brief smile.
Pippin's cinnamon eyes lit up. "Why, you live between me and Merry? That...that's absolutely fantastic! I was wondering who had moved between us...that's amazingly wonderful!" he did a little spin with a yelp of joy.
Rowena couldn't help but smile. He seemed truly happy to be with her for her, not just for her body, which was the case all too often. She gave a demure smile and tucked one of her curly brown tresses behind her ear.
"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you soon, then..." she said as she slowly turned around and walked away, making sure to do some extra hip movements as she walked. She smiled as she heard Pippin stop breathing behind her, then she breathed in the fresh air and continued walking back towards her new home, which had suddenly become much more welcoming and...homey...
Pippin finally let his breath go as she disappeared over the hill, a warm feeling now inhabiting the emotional pit that had been there so recently before. He felt as though everything was all right, finally things were coming together after the end of the Fellowship, finally he felt...loved? He doubted that was what it was, maybe Rowena was just a friend, but...he felt...different...
Suddenly Merry ran up to him, almost bowling him over, giggling and grabbing his arm, pulling him along with him.
"What in bloody Mordor did you do now, Merry?" Pippin said as he ran along next to Merry. Merry just laughed as they ran up to Pippin's home, both excited and eager to get along with their lives.
A/N: Uh oh, sense of an impending romance and I HATE romance...well, I'll try to limit the bloodshed and tears to be caused by this-and I vow that no purple squirrels shall die of emotional asphyxiation! Have no fear, Amouriel!
PLEASE REVIEW-I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!
Peregrin or "Pippin" Took sat in the middle of Farmer Maggot's wheatfield, whistling a light tune as he watched the sun fade behind the forest's tallest trees. Occasionally he popped a succulent mushroom or two into his mouth, but he was otherwise totally relaxed as he sat propped up against a large boulder. His chestnut colored hair was as curly as usual, his brown and off-white tunic and breeches weren't exactly clean but had a thin layer of dirt over them, and his paunch was getting to be a bit more rotund.
Pippin was generally in high spirits, just thinking about the party Sam Gamgee had planned. Apparently Legolas was supposed to show up and be the guest of the hour, and he had promised Pippin that he would bring the most luscious elven women he could find in his area. Meanwhile, there were reports of new hobbits having moved to their area of Hobbiton, and Merry had said that there were quite a few seductive hobbit women also coming to the party. Pippin grinned. A few years back, Legolas had given a gift to him that Galadriel had given him in the days of old but had not told any of the other fellowship members about. She had told him to dispense of it as he pleased, since, as an elf, he was immortal anyway. It was the gift of youth.
Pippin had basically shed all of the years he had spent with the fellowship, yet he had not shed either the memories of their travels or the girth he had accumulated since those days of journeying, saving the world, and being attacked by Orcs, etcetera.
Yet he had a rude and abrupt awakening that all of his heroic deeds had not for all Middle Earth made him more of a friend to Farmer Maggot as he heard Maggot's bellows from his carrot bed. Hastily, Pippin popped the carrots he hadn't finished along with his leftover mushrooms into his mouth and fled as fast as he could away from the crime scene.
"Cousin Pippin, where are all of the pastries Sabla made?" Merry Brandybuck turned from the wooden cupboards to look at his cousin. Pippin looked a bit too plump for his liking, and Merry crossed his arms across his waist. "Pippin Took, how dare you eat all of them! You should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself," he said, looking at Pippin condescendingly. Pippin gave a lopsided grin and a wink. "I assure you, I am throroughly ashamed of myself. Why, if I do that again, I may wind up being as shamefully blubbery as you!" Merry gave a pouty face. "Might I remind you that you're the one who can't fit into any of your clothing? Just look at yourself, Pippin! You should be ashamed! I'm surprised you can still fit through the doorway!" As far as Pippin was concerned, it was unreasonable to think that anyone could recover from Aragorn's acts of sudden starvation without making up for it with a bit of interest for time lost. "If that's what you think, all right...but if I may be so bold, I believe that you've grown more ugly in addition to growing more corpulent, Monstrous Meriadoc!" "Ah, Ponderous Peregrin, when you walk, the ground shakes as if thousands of Orcs are thundering down the countryside!" Pippin flinched at this analogy. "Please, no mention of Orcs. Let's just get ready for Sam's party." "Yeah, all right. Let's see if Sabla's found clothes that can fit you yet!" "And a bag for your head!" Laughing, the two cousins walked jovially into their rooms to dress.
Sam Gamgee looked proudly at his work. Over the past few days, he had set up stumps for sitting upon, wooden tables, linen tents, and he had Merry and Pippin's luscious maid Sabla cook some simply divine meals. He had called in a group to play on mandolins during the dancing, sent out invitations, and recieved word that Legolas was on his way with four voluptuous elven maidens. "One for you, Sam, one for Merry, one for Pippin, and one for me. All right, I shall admit that mine is truly my fiancee and not just some courtesan, but yours are her sisters, and they have heard tales of you all and get extremely worked up at any mention of you three. As usual, the thoughts of "halflings" invoke wild dreams and fantasies, perhaps, but even more so in Laetitia, Liadan, and Siofra. Which, I assure you, is much reason to celebrate..."
Sam rubbed his hands together in glee. Everything was going ever so well! If only Mister Frodo was still around to enjoy it all beside them...
"Well Pippin, it's about noon. Shall we head down?" Merry finished pulling on a tunic. "Aye, shall we?" Pippin called from the kitchen, where he finished filching a few unfortunate crumb cakes from the pantry. He smacked his lips and licked the last crumbs from his fingers. At that moment, Merry walked into the room.
"You did not just..." "You are so right! Erm...shall we be going?" Merry rolled his eyes. "You are an absolute disgrace! Come along before you eat the rest of what's in our larders!" Merry gripped Pippin's wrist and pulled him through the rest of the house and through the door.
Sam smiled and waved as hobbits from all over Hobbiton streamed in through the tents, eating food, talking, and laughing to each other, just sharing the good times and exaggerating the bad to anyone who would listen. Children from all over sat around Merry and Pippin eagerly, listening to their recount of their travels with the fellowship, as the children knew that these were grave facts and not exaggerated tales of infested crops.
Yet one young hobbit was doubtful. "Maryadock, are you a'sure this stuff really 'appened?"
Merry squatted low in front of him, looking at him through squinted eyes. "I've got proof, me little friend. Here's the brooch that Lady Galadriel gave me, and you'll notice that my cousin Pippin is wearing his too. In fact, if you would take time to look at Samwise, the one throwing this shindig, you'd see he's got his pinned on too."
All of the young hobbits made small squeaks of awe as they struggled to get closer to get a good look at the brooches. Yet the doubtful little one was not yet satisfied.
"Well, if yer don' mind me arskin', where's all the other peoples tha' acc-accom-accompanonieded you?"
A flash of sadness went through Merry and Pippin's eyes simultaneously. "Boromir was killed defending I and Pippin, a brave man like none other, Gimli went back to his own kind, having encountered a sadness like none other at Moria, Aragorn is now the King of Gondor, a land far from here, Gandalf has gone off to who knows where on wizarding business, our good friend Frodo Baggins has traversed to a better life beyond life, and...and here comes Legolas down the road!" His face brightened as he and Pippin ran to greet the dashing elf with long blonde hair, beautiful features, and his bow and quiver slung over his shoulder who stood talking to an excited Samwise Gamgee.
Besides Legolas stood four beautiful elven women with long blonde hair, blue eyes, and slender yet still delicately curved bodies, wearing silken pastel gowns that were equally flattering. One of them in particular held onto Legolas's hand and gazed at him adoringly, and as he was running Merry thought he saw a twinkle on her finger that only a diamond could project.
"Legolas! How have you been? Life without you, Aragorn, Frodo, Gandalf, Gimli, and Boromir has been excruciatingly dull, especially with these two about!" Merry said as he flung his arms about Legolas with joy.
Legolas gave a silent laugh, in spite of his dignified elf self. "Them? Look who's talking, Meriadoc Brandybuck!?"
"Aye, my point exactly, Legolas, wot a rascally beast of a hobbit," Pippin said, puffing a bit from the run across Sam's property.
"So Legolas, how've you been without having us handsome beasts to kill Orcs with?" Legolas grinned at Pippin's question. "Much improved, I can tell you!"
Merry, Pippin, and Sam pretended to pout, amid much giggling from their child followers. However, Pippin seemed to recover first, turning his boyish eyes to the four delicate elven women Legolas had brough with him.
"And who may I have the honor of addressing?" he said eloquently, bowing and kissing each girls hand. Legolas smiled.
"Ah, yes. Well, this is my fiancee, Grainne. Grainne, this is Meriadoc or "Merry" Brandybuck, Samwise or simply "Sam" Gamgee, and Peregrin or "Pippin" Took, each members of the fellowship of the ring I was so priveliged to be a part of."
Grainne smiled pleasantly and leaned her delicate head against Legolas's muscular shoulder. Legolas smiled at her lovingly, then continued with the introductions: "These three are Grainne's sisters, Vivenne, Laetitia, and Alana. I had told them that you'd be here, and they were sincerely euphoric to finally attain the honor of meeting three other members of the fellowship of the ring."
Vivenne and Alana smiled winsomely, yet Laetitia seemed a bit more enthused, and she talked rapidly in her melodious, flowing voice. "I've always longed to meet you three halflings that Legolas spoke of so often. I've never seen halflings before, but I won't get into that, as I presume you've heard that more times than you've wished to. Am I right?" She gave a lilting laugh as all of the three hobbits nodded their curly topped heads solemnly.
Legolas lightly kissed Grainne on her forehead, then turned back to the hobbits. "Since this is Hobbiton, I presume that it will be no trouble to get some edibles for us? It has been a long trip, as you three know."
No sooner had he uttered those words than Pippin grabbed his hand and pulled him after him, saying only: "To the eatables! Amen!"
After they had all eaten, Laetitia joined the group of young hobbits listening to Merry and Pippin's tale of their adventures in the Fellowship of the Ring, and she had Merry's nephews Bronach and Cuan, two solemn little fellows, propped up against her and Bronach was curled up in her lap. Her sisters Vivenne and Alana were dancing with some young male hobbits who were almost three feet shorter than them, and Legolas and Grainne sat together, gazing up at the stars.
Merry and Pippin had just finished telling of their encounter with Fangorn himself, and were elaborating on how absobloodylutely boring an Entmoot really was when they announced that Sam was going to take the story from there with whatever he had been doing at the same time in Mordor. Then they both stepped out for a breather. Or so everybody thought.
"I can't believe they actually thought we'd give up on our mischevious pranks. I mean, honestly. You'd think they'd be stalking us to make sure that we didn't do anything horribly scandalous like before." Pippin finished saying as he went through the entertainment tent.
Meanwhile, Merry was going through random shelves also, and was having some spots of difficulties.
"There's absolutely nothing we can do without killing anyone!" Merry said in an exasperated manner, slouching up against the wall. Pippin finished rummaging through the tent and leaned out to give Merry an odd smile.
"I say, Merry, are there any matches in ther?"
"I'm not going to do anything pyromaniacal, Pippin!"
"But what if it has to do with dragons?"
Merry stepped closer towards Pippin, excitement mounting by the moment.
"Dragons, did you say?"
"Aye, dragons."
"Not-not the dragon firecrackers that we used before the fellowship when Gandalf came to town and we were stuck washing dishes?"
"Aye, the very same!"
Merry did a little dance of joy. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!"
Pippin rolled his eyes. "May I have the matches, Merry?"
Merry stopped in the middle of his jig. "Oh, yes, of course. One moment."
Merry tossed Pippin an intricately designed matchbox.
"Thank you!" Pippin said as he pulled his head back into the entertainment tent.
"Wait for me!" Merry ran in after him.
***
Rowena Inoegard had anticipated feeling out of place at this party, after all, she knew none of these joyous peoples. Yet she shared in their joy, and hoped that one day she would know these hobbits well enough to show it.
She was only in her mid-forties, which is just entering middle age for a hobbit, and her burnished auburn locks of hair framed her face beautifully. She had large almond shaped eyes, each iris a whirlwind of honey to chestnut coloration, and she had freckles scattered across her perfect nose and onto her cheeks. Her full lips were red from berry juice, and only those exceedingly priveliged or simply brutal and evil ever got near them, and never without a fight. She had perfect, natural curves and was extremely noticeable, but this night she felt more like a wallflower than ever before thought possible.
For a while, she had gone over to see what the children were doing, and when she saw the two plump and mischevious yet good looking hobbits telling a story that seemed too outrageous to be true but was, as one of the two had explained to a doubtful youngster, she had tarried a while.
Afterwards, she had gone over to where a few people were talking to some Elves who had stopped by as the guests of honor; apparently the dashing male one was a member of the fellowship the two good looking hobbits had been talking about or something.
But now she just wished to get a drink of some strong wine, which she needed to do whenever she had the kind of headache she did now. She squeezed through three corpulent old hobbits and a group of children playing an old country game that had been passed through the ages and was finally at the tent she had thought the wine had been in. However, when she opened the flap, quite a different scenario met her eye.
***
"Hold it up steady Pippin..."
"Shouldn't we do this outside? Last time we busted the tent..."
"But this year there's more people milling about! Here...let's just do it here...anyway, Legolas has never seen it before. Let's keep it a surprise..."
"Okay, I'm lighting the match..."
"Excuse me, do you know where the wine tent is?"
Merry and Pippin whirled around from their mischevious works to see a luscious young hobbit woman standing in the doorway, looking slightly uncomfortable, but not nearly as uncomfortable as they as their hormonal instincts of babbling, acting stupid, and blushing kicked in.
"The wine tent?"
"Hmmm...the wine tent..."
"Wait, Merry, did you just light the firecracker a moment ago?"
"Well, yes, I mean-"
The firecracker exploded through the roof of the tent the moment the female hobbit, Merry and Pippin had dropped to the floor.
"Get outside for this!" Pippin said, boyish glee spreading across his features. The three scurried outside of the tent just as it prepared to explode.
"Look, a firecracker!" the shout went out as from the outside hobbits saw the firecracker spiraling far up into the sky. It caught Legolas's attention,who brought it to the other three elves's and they all looked upwards with keen interest. Because of their sharp eyesight, though, they saw something nobody else did.
"That's no ordinary firecracker-"
The firecracker burst into an enormous flame shaped like a glowing monstrous dragon, risen from the pits of Mordor. It swept down at the party, where hobbits and even the Elves had to beat undignified retreats. As Merry, Pippin, and the female ran away from the entertainment tent and into the open, the dragon swooped so low that the wind knocked them flat. It rose up into the sky again, blazing like a burning ember, up until it was almost just a speck of fire, the suddenly it exploded with a huge flash of red, orange, and yellow light.
"Busted..." Merry whispered from the corner of his mouth as Farmer Maggot, The Gaffer, and even Sam Gamgee came over to look at them scathingly. Pippin tried a weak smile and Merry even pulled off a lopsided one, but the young woman seemed totally dazed and at a major loss.
"Meriadoc and Peregrin! What is the meaning of this? Fool of a Took..." The Gaffer said angrily. Pippin flinched, remembering how Gandalf the wizard had once said the same to him... "Just wanted to..." "To, um..." "Er...yes, to...to..." "To light a match?" "Yes, very good choice of words, Merry. We just wanted to light a match!" "And...we had some...some technical difficulties..." They both nodded innocently.
Farmer Maggot turned his gruff attention to the beautiful young female hobbit, who seemed to have slightly recovered. "Who're you an' wot do yew have ter do with this?"
She seemed to have regained some of her dignity, although it took everything she had too keep from bursting into laughter at the two irrepressible hobbits trying to look angelic in front of her.
"I'm Rowena Inoegard, new to the area. I was looking for the wine tent, when I realized that I, um, had, er, stepped onto the-the hallowed ground-of a, uh..." Pippin mouthed some words to her, winking afterwards at her boyishly. "A most unfortunate accident where, uh..." Merry whispered some words to her also, his eyes twinkling. "These two were just looking to light some candles on a cake for the guest of honor's arrival and...things went horribly awry..." her voice trailed off as she struggled to smother her laughter.
Sam frowned. "Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took, I don't understand...if only Mister Frodo and Mister Bilbo were here, they'd sort things out..." The Gaffer squinted at the three miscreants that were fidgeting in discomfort. "Or if Gandalf were. I'm sure he'd magick them up a tree..." "Or Gollum..." Sam added in a hushed tone, as if the damned creature would appear behind him, still seeking his ring.
Pippin and Merry gave weak smiles. "He'd just talk us to death, whining about his Precious..."
All of these comments meant nothing to Rowena, who sat between their bantering, almost wishing she hadn't come to this party.
At the same moment, Pippin turned to her, grinning.
"You have no idea of what we're talking about, do you?"
She shook her head, smiling at him with relief. Farmer Maggot rolled his eyes and went off to torment some other delinquents, and an exasperated Gaffer followed him, leaving Sam, Pippin, Merry, and Rowena alone.
Sam sat down on the grass with them. "So Rowena, which part of Hobbiton are you from?" he said, trying to stop gazing at her cleavage. She was wearing a short, lovely red dress that glittered and showed off her voluptuous curves to all their advantage. He let out a sigh as she responded.
"Actually, I...I'm not really from Hobbiton, although you could say that I am, but..."
Not noting her discomfort, Sam pressed further. "Do I know your family, perchance? Inoegard isn't the most familiar of names to me..."
Rowena flushed. "Er..."
Pippin stepped in for her. "Perhaps we can continue this conversation later, but for now I know I need a drink and Rowena, I believe, does also. Does anyone else want anything?" Merry grinned at him. "A pint," he said, "But only if they come in pints."
Pippin grinned back at him, then turned to Sam. "Anything for you, Samwise?"
Sam shrugged his broad shoulders. "That's all right. I think I'd better check in with Rose."
Merry snorted. "Well isn't that nice, doddering old Merry has to stay by himself...I think I'll go see Legolas!" he snorted again and turned on his heels, then tripped over a root and fell flat on his face.
"Who said that root could grow there, huh? Hey! It's-not-funny..." he said, bursting into laughter along with Rowena, Sam, and Pippin as Sam left to go talk to his wife, Rose, and Rowena and Pippin headed for the wine tent.
As Pippin filled up a pint for himself and Merry, Rowena felt herself blushing. As he began to fill a glass of Damson Wine for her, she blurted out what had been on her mind.
"Listen, thanks about before, I mean, well, you know..."
Pippin smiled and handed her the Damson Wine she had requested.
"You don't need to thank me, honestly. I know how Sam can be; although he's kind, he can be a bit slow on the uptake. But he's still one of the more honorable and wonderful hobbits here in Hobbiton."
She nodded as she drank her Damson Wine. She felt herself blushing; something about this hobbit in particular...he was so sweet and funny, yet there was an air of unspeakable sadness that seemed to accompany him, hiding behind each grin, wink, and gale of laughter.
Pippin felt himself smiling a bit foolishly; hadn't he been through enough, and now falling in whatever-this-was-in-relation-to-the-big-four- letter-word-that-started-with-"L"? He tried not to think of the comrades he had lost, loved, or left, and how he wished he could see them enjoying such happy times. He could hear Boromir, Denethor, Gandalf, Faramir, Aragorn, Arwen, Frodo, Eowyn, Eomer, Treebeard, Galadriel, and more; their laughter and voices chiming together, echoing in his mind.
Rowena broke the uncomfortable silence as she polished off her cordial.
"So...so that story you were telling before, it was true?"
Pippin nodded solemnly. "Every word of it and more," he said, hearing his voice crack.
He polished off his pint, then nodded to Rowena. "Shall we go deliver Merry's pint which comes in a pint?"
Rowena smiled back at the irrepressible, charming hobbit. "Of course we shall," she said, noting embarrassedly the demure purr her voice had become.
Pippin grinned back at her, linked arms, and nodded. He began skipping and singing with Merry's drink sloshing over the sides of the mug, dragging Rowena along, laughing. Other hobbits had to jump out of his way, shaking their heads.
Later, as some hobbits were leaving and even more were arriving with the sun not far behind them, Pippin lay on his back next to Rowena, pointing out the stars that were fading.
"See that? Smaug the Dragon. I had the honor of knowing the one hobbit who killed him, and his nephew, a wonderful friend; and the Ringbearer..."
Rowena got more comfortable on the grass, propping herself up on her hand, thoughtfully looking into his twinkling eyes.
"It hasn't been just peachy for you, has it?" she said reflectively, after having listened to only part of his story before.
Pippin grinned, although he was only temporarily hiding his sadness.
"No, it's been just the opposite, but if you just stick on a foolish grin and do whatever you want to do, it makes the quality of life much more interesting!" he leapt up, laughing, then turned a cartwheel and fell on his rear end, laughing uproariously. Rowena laughed along with him, although it felt strange to be filled with such joy, over a...male hobbit. She flinched as a vision flew through her head of her father and brother, tying her to a chair, whipping her, cutting her, then of her brother's friend, Gruvven, chaining her to a bed and inflicting much worse damage...
Pippin's concerned look brought her back to Middle Earth.
"What did you say? I'm sorry, I-"
He shrugged off her comment and stared deep into her eyes. "I didn't say anything of relevance, don't worry"-his eyes twinkled momentarily- "But I did want to know if you're quite all right. If this is an appropriate time for me to join my confused, unattractive, and fat cousin Merry, it's quite all right..."
Rowena sat up abruptly, reaching out to grasp his wrist to make him stay. "No, please..."
The first rays of sunlight streamed out over the hills of Hobbiton, lighting everyone and everything up in an ethereal, majestic, and unbelievable manner. Rowena sucked in her breath at the beauty of it all as Pippin sat back down in front of her.
"Then what do you want to do?"
Rowena blushed as she felt his warm breath brush her cheeks, and Pippin felt himself turning red as a brief wind sent the sweet smell of her perfume his way. He felt himself nearing closer to her, and Rowena felt herself being pulled in, forgetting of her abuse of long ago.
Suddenly Merry marched in, playing loud, cacophonic sounds on an old trumpet, wearing a ridiculous red hat with golden tassles and bronze colored jester shoes. Rowena and Pippin felt the tractor beam between them disconnect as they clapped both of their hands to their ears, as did just about everyone else in the area.
Blast it, Pippin thought to himself as he looked briefly at the gorgeous, sensually curved Rowena who was doing everything she could to block out the squawking coming from the instrument Merry was abusing. She was so...so...Pippin closed his eyes in order to block out any more thoughts of her, and to block out Merry's object of improper affection's squawks of misuse.
Merry grinned foolishly and jumped in front of Pippin. "'Ello, young cousin!" he said, kicking his feet up into the air and landing on his rear. "'Ello, young person!" he said, tipping his oversized hat to Rowena, who rolled her eyes. Yet her bright smile revealed her true feelings of happiness and joy. Her entire facial expression, though, was lost on Merry as he turned back to Pippin.
"Pippy! Pippy Pippy Pip Pip Pippin!" he said hysterically, turning a somersault. Pippin rolled his eyes but couldn't help but giggle at his irrepressible cousin. "One too many pints, eh, cousin?"
Merry leapt up and did a backflip, falling back and giggling at his own antics. Pippin and Rowena laughed aloud as his hat flew up into the air, then fell on one of the Proudfoot family members feet, who leapt up angrily and pursued a laughing, running Merry across Sam's property.
Finally the crowd began to disperse, and Pippin realized, with a abnormal emotional emptiness in his stomach, that Rowena would be leaving. Legolas and his "lady friends" as Merry had said with a giggle, would be staying for another moon or two. Yet Pippin still did not know where Rowena lived, and his joy ran out as nervousness replaced it as he walked up to her uncomfortably.
"Er, Rowena..." she turned around, her face glowing and her eyes twin pools of light and laughter, and Pippin's voice trailed off as he continued mouthing pointlessly.
Rowena smiled at him sweetly, and Pippin felt himself melt under her gaze. "I, er, well...you never told me where you lived, and if I'm to annoy you, I'll need to know..." he winked at her, relieved that he hadn't sounded too eager to know where she had just moved to.
She smiled understandingly, and looked up at the sky as she tried to remember exactly where she lived.
"I think...I just moved to...hmmm...ah yes! Do you know of the hobbit hole next to...next to, I believe, Merry's hole and in between that and another, spacious one about on the border of that farmer's field? That's where I live...I think..." she flashed a brief smile.
Pippin's cinnamon eyes lit up. "Why, you live between me and Merry? That...that's absolutely fantastic! I was wondering who had moved between us...that's amazingly wonderful!" he did a little spin with a yelp of joy.
Rowena couldn't help but smile. He seemed truly happy to be with her for her, not just for her body, which was the case all too often. She gave a demure smile and tucked one of her curly brown tresses behind her ear.
"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you soon, then..." she said as she slowly turned around and walked away, making sure to do some extra hip movements as she walked. She smiled as she heard Pippin stop breathing behind her, then she breathed in the fresh air and continued walking back towards her new home, which had suddenly become much more welcoming and...homey...
Pippin finally let his breath go as she disappeared over the hill, a warm feeling now inhabiting the emotional pit that had been there so recently before. He felt as though everything was all right, finally things were coming together after the end of the Fellowship, finally he felt...loved? He doubted that was what it was, maybe Rowena was just a friend, but...he felt...different...
Suddenly Merry ran up to him, almost bowling him over, giggling and grabbing his arm, pulling him along with him.
"What in bloody Mordor did you do now, Merry?" Pippin said as he ran along next to Merry. Merry just laughed as they ran up to Pippin's home, both excited and eager to get along with their lives.
A/N: Uh oh, sense of an impending romance and I HATE romance...well, I'll try to limit the bloodshed and tears to be caused by this-and I vow that no purple squirrels shall die of emotional asphyxiation! Have no fear, Amouriel!
PLEASE REVIEW-I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!