Watsuki owns them
I just borrow for a while
No harm intended
When She Smiles
Chapter 2: Kyoto
The journey to Kyoto was arduous. Enishi was regaining some of his physical strength, but his spirit was only just starting to heal. For Oibore, it felt like they were both finally mourning their loss of Tomoe. Not that either one of them mentioned her name. The road was a way to get re-acquainted, to share small steps in what was the best path for both of them, at the moment.
Years of anger had left Enishi bereft of other feelings. He had been angry with the other men in Tomoe's life for as long as he could remember. What was left for him now that the anger and blame were gone?
For the first two weeks of their travel together, Enishi had held onto Tomoe's journal with a death grip. But as he traveled this slow road with his father, the business of everyday living began to calm his heart, balm his tortured soul. He could notice the trees as they walked through a forest. He could see the blue of nearby water and be distracted, for just a moment, from his pain. He and his father began to speak to each other briefly of ordinary things. His hearing, permanently damaged from his last battle, began to heal on one side.
After another week of slow progress, he was able to share Tomoe's journal with her father. Wordlessly, he gave the precious document to Oibore as they stopped to rest for the night, camped by the side of the road. Oibore waited until Enishi was asleep, or at least pretending to be asleep, before he opened the journal.
The beauty of his daughter's hand took his breath away. She had always been excellent at calligraphy and even these most personal reflections were recorded with a precision and beauty of expression he hadn't seen since her passing.
Her words neither surprised, nor angered him. Oibore had not lived this long with the outcasts of Rakuninmura to be surprised at anyone's anguish. For him, if not for his son, the knowledge that his only daughter had found a new happiness in Kyoto was enough. Her betrayal and complicity with the Shogunate against a man she believed to be evil was understandable for a grieving father. But time had healed almost all of these old wounds. Reading her own words in her exquisite hand brought her father peace.
In the morning, he returned the journal to his son, and they resumed their painstakingly slow travel to Kyoto. Enishi began to talk to his father about the life he had lived since leaving Edo. He focused on his time with the Shogunate during the Bakumatsu. It was still too soon for him to speak of Earthly Justice gone awry.
In turn, Oibore shared his wartime experiences with Enishi. As a lower level Shogunate bureaucrat, he had lost everything with the rise of the Meiji Era. Since he had already lost all of his family, he was less devastated than others by the times. He began to travel the refugee roads of Japan and live in the outcast cities that grew up around all the major populated areas. He couldn't yet express to Enishi that his true purpose had been to find his children. He had learned about Tomoe from Ishin Shishi followers who had known her in Kyoto, or known Himura afterwards. Unfortunately, he had also heard about some of Enishi's activities from Shishio followers. Eventually, he hoped Enishi would be able to face his past as an arms dealer and find a better way for the future. Oibore had some ideas on how the remaining two members of the Yukishiro family could make their way in this new Meiji era.
At last, the outskirts of Kyoto came into view. It was dusk, so they found a very inexpensive place to stay for the night. Oibore's resources were meager, but enough to afford the comfort of a night indoors before they faced a very painful duty. Although their night was restless, both managed to sleep enough to face the coming ordeal.
Tomoe's resting-place had been chosen by her husband, a man Oibore had not known until much later, and a man hated by Enishi. Now, both men were content with his choice. They brought seasonal flowers, Irises, and laid them on her grave. Enishi was overcome and overwrought. He was inconsolable the entire day. His father was more composed, but equally saddened at this long delayed laying to rest of their untold sorrow. He re-opened the vial and allowed her familiar scent to compete with the flowers. The reminder was almost more than Enishi could bear, but Oibore knew that it was necessary. It was time to open their hearts and pour out the grief that each had harbored for far too long.
Dusk came and went. They were unable to leave her until it was too dark to see. Too dark to show anyone their pained expressions, but not too dark to see the shimmering image of their lost loved one in the reflections of the moon in the graveyard. Her presence was overwhelming. The force of her spirit oppressive in its weight on their hearts and souls. The comfort she had offered them so freely when she was alive washed over them in waves, along with her scent. With it, came her last gift, the only thing she could offer now: the comfort of knowing that she had loved them and was finally at peace.
They led each other out of this painful place and found the local Rakuninmura. All they could bear in their grief was a wall to lean against and the knowledge that at last they had shared their loss with each other. They slept the sleep of the anguished, freed from dreams or nightmares in this strange, yet familiar place. They awoke with the finality of the family they were: two generations with nothing but loss between them.
Returning to say their final good-byes to Tomoe was their one last task in Kyoto. Enishi approached the monks of the shrine who had so carefully guarded his sister's journal and asked them to hold it once again. He was willing to give it into their keeping, at least for now.
He joined Oibore and together they prayed their silent wishes to their lost one, staying until the last of her scent evaporated. Oibore left the vial and more fresh flowers for her, and both promised to return….If Tomoe heard them, surely she would send her smiles to their dreams…
They agreed to go to Edo immediately.
Author's Note:
Geez, could this chapter BE any sadder?
(Note to self: remove Samurai X soundtrack cd from rotation before writing…)
Susan: Thanks for reading – guess not too many folks are interested in Enishi.
I promise, things will get less sad…