Watsuki owns them.
I just borrow for a while.
No harm intended.
Thanks for reading and reviewing to Susan, Midori Natari Himura, Firuze Khanume, dementedchris, rurouni, Akin Sijin, Erin, Do it for Originality!, & Tiian.
Shinomori no Kami Daijin: Send me an e-mail after this fic ends (next week) with your requirements for archiving. Thanks!
When She Smiles
Chapter 25: Consultation with an Expert?
The following morning, Aoshi was nowhere to be found within the Aoiya. None of the Oniwabanshuu knew where he had gone. Okina went to examine his study and found a very brief note: I have business to attend to, I will return.
Typically Aoshi. Typically frustrating to Misao and the others. Or perhaps more frustrating to Misao. She had hoped now that her assignment was nearing completion, one way or another, that Aoshi-sama would begin to practice with her again. She decided to go to the Yukishiro dojo to visit Oibore-san. She hadn't spent any time with him recently, and she wished to catch up on all of the local merchant gossip in Kyoto. Having lunch with him would take her mind off of Aoshi-sama.
When Misao reached the dojo, she saw that Enishi and Oibore were beginning their Sword Chi exercises. Without a word, she joined them as soon as she had retrieved her sword from the dojo. She knew she would enjoy doing this form of centering exercise, particularly today. As she and Oibore-san stood behind Enishi, she was struck, not for the first time, by his good looks. She had admired him since the first time she had seen him, even when he was still at odds with Himura.
As she centered herself and let her mind rest in the movements of the form, she felt at ease and reached out with her feelings. Her eyes popped open and grew wide from the feelings she sensed from Enishi. He was more set in his affection for her than before, and was responding to her as if a relationship with her was not only possible, but imminent - not to mention intimate. The sexual energy she was feeling was startling. His desire of her was so clear that she was pleased he was not facing her. Perhaps she could cover her feelings as long as he had not seen her face.
Misao focused her energy and attention back on the Sword Chi. She then extended her feelings again, this time to Oibore-san. He was a little worried, probably about Enishi - what else did he have to worry about? She turned her attention back to Enishi and again sensed his passion. She also felt his satisfaction with his life. He seemed more settled than usual. Whatever was going on with him, he was happy about it, with an undercurrent of fright of the unknown.
Well, he would have to deal with his fears, just as she would have to deal with hers. What if she sensed Aoshi again and felt only friendship - was that why she had purposely avoided sensing him? She had come to believe since she had developed her own sense of ki that the men she knew who used it relied on it because they were not good at expressing their emotions. Consider the evidence: Saitou, Enishi, Shishio, Aoshi, Himura. Did any of them have the ability to relate to other human beings at all? Among the five, she would have to place Enishi at the head of the class. What a surprise that was! He had actually developed personal skills since he'd regained his sanity. Well, everyone faces challenges in their life. And where would she place Aoshi-sama? Second - well ok, third. She had to admit that even Himura was better with people than Aoshi. So he was better than Saitou and Shishio - but Shishio was dead, so that wasn't saying much, was it? Well, she loved him anyway and hoped that one day he would develop the ability to relate to people, especially her. He was an inspired leader, maybe that was a place to start - but then all of the others were leaders, too.
Oh, this train of thought was making her head hurt. They were almost finished with their exercise and she was relieved. Hopefully Oibore-san would be available to spend some time with her today.
Enishi was glad that Misao couldn't see his smile. She had read his ki. She reacted with such vehement surprise at what she read that she couldn't hide it from him anymore. Well, he had agreed to teach her, and he had. But how would he feel about a wife who could sense his ki? That was certainly a new concept to consider.
Misao had come to see his father. Enishi wanted to spend time with her, too. Unfortunately, he did not wish to invite himself along, so he took his leave of them both when their practice was finished. He went to the dojo to continue his own practice. If Misao wished to see him, she knew where to find him.
Misao waited until Enishi had gone into the dojo and invited Oibore to spend some time with her. They decided to go shopping at some of the new stores near the Yukishiro warehouse. He could check on things at the business, answer any questions and be ready to make some new connections while spending time with Misao. He was very pleased to see her.
Unfortunately, when they reached the warehouse, there was a problem needing his attention that he knew would take quite a while. He apologized to Misao, and suggested that if she had the time, she could go back to the dojo and wait for him. Enishi would keep her company if she wished. Misao hesitated, but decided that she would like to come upon Enishi without his knowledge so she could sense his ki again. It was too disconcerting that he expected to have a relationship with her - let alone a sexual one.
Once at the dojo, Misao went to the doorway, but kept out of sight. She centered herself, closed her eyes and extended her feelings. She expected Enishi to be in the dojo, but she did not feel his presence. At least not until he reached around from behind her and hugged her.
"When were you going to tell me that you could sense my ki, Misao?" Enishi whispered this in her ear, but he might as well have shouted it from the rooftops, she was so shocked that he was behind her and touching her.
He released her immediately and laughed. "Don't be mad at me, Misao! I have been doing this a lot longer than you, and I felt you before you entered my gate. I am sorry if I startled you, but don't you think you should have told me how far you have progressed? I am your sensei after all."
"I hate that you are still so much better than I am at this!" Misao stamped her foot in irritation and fumed. "And as for when I was going to tell you, the answer is never! Please tell Oibore-san I will see him another time, I must return to the Aoiya."
She turned around to stomp off, but Enishi leapt in front of her and blocked her path.
"And that is another very irritating habit of yours, Enishi. Please let me pass."
"Don't leave, Misao," said Enishi, laughing at her. "You know my father would be very disappointed to find you gone."
"Pretty pathetic to use an old man for your own purposes, Yukishiro. Can't you think up something better than that?"
"What happened to 'Enishi'?" He said with a lopsided smirk on his face, clearly enjoying her discomfort. "If you can sense my ki at all, you know how I feel about you, so why should I waste my time trying to think up reasons for you to stay? Stay and keep me company for now. I promise that when my father returns I will leave you two alone - even if I am jealous of your affection for him."
Misao was still irritated with Enishi, but she did want to see Oibore-san, and she was curious about Enishi's change in attitude towards her. He had just admitted he had feelings for her. That was very new. And he was pleased that she could sense his ki, at least she thought he was. She was going to need to keep practicing if she wanted to keep up with these unemotional types. But wait; hadn't Enishi just expressed some pretty strong emotions? Oh, Aoshi-sama, you are definitely a distant third. Himura was lousy with women, but at least he was great with kids.
And just at that moment, Himura was busy with a kid he was great with, Yahiko. Kaoru had gone off to give a lesson at a neighboring dojo, so he was helping Yahiko with his chores. The laundry was done for the day, so he was helping Yahiko with the dojo floors before he went off to work at the Akebeko. They were just finishing up when an unlikely and unexpected visitor turned up.
Yahiko was bounding out of the gate when he almost slammed into Shinomori Aoshi coming in.
"Shinomori? Geez, you almost knocked me over. Is Kaoru expecting you? She didn't say anything about it. Is Misao with you? I don't see the weasel girl anywhere..."
"No, Yahiko, I am here to see Himura. Is he here?"
"Yes, I just left him in the dojo, I'm off to work at the Akebeko, see you later."
Shinomori walked to the dojo and wondered if he had made the right decision to come here. He needed someone to talk to, and no one in Kyoto could be consulted on such a delicate matter. He'd always thought Himura was a pretty simple guy, but he had given him good advice about Misao and Enishi before, maybe he could do it again. At least he knew them both. And it was too late to back out; Himura had already felt his presence, just as he did not really need to ask Yahiko if Himura was home. It was just polite to do so.
He stood in the doorway and Himura said, "Welcome, Shinomori," without turning around. He finished putting the cleaning supplies away and came over to give Aoshi a warmer welcome.
"Is this a surprise visit? Kaoru-dono did not mention that you were coming. And Misao is not with you? Is everything well in Kyoto?" Kenshin stopped asking questions when the dark look on Aoshi's face deepened.
"Maybe a little tea is in order. I was just about to make some for myself before I began dinner. Kaoru-dono will not be back for a while. Will you join me?"
"Yes, Himura, I will take tea with you. Again." Shinomori was his usual withdrawn self while Kenshin made the tea. Kenshin suggested that they sit on the porch and enjoy the late afternoon sunset. Kenshin merely waited for Aoshi to speak. There was no way to identify what was on Aoshi's mind. Kenshin could tell that he was deeply troubled about something. The only way to find out was to wait.
As the sun began to set, Aoshi found his voice with the encroaching darkness.
"You gave me some good advice when you were last in Kyoto, Himura. I didn't see it that way at the time, but I have come to understand that you were trying to help me. I would like to ask for your help again."
"I would be pleased to try. Can you tell me what troubles you?"
"Let me be brief." Shinomori paused. Kenshin was trying to keep from smiling. When had Shinomori been anything but brief? But Kenshin waited, without comment.
"I challenged Yukishiro. Misao stopped the fight. I took your advice and looked at her with his eyes. She is an adult. I helped her complete her training. I reclaimed the Okashira title. I decided to rebuild the Oniwabanshuu group. I asked Enishi to join us, help us rebuild and become my successor. He agreed, providing I give him Misao."
Kenshin's eyes were as big as saucers by now. No question about it. Shinomori had been brief, even for him. Kenshin was feeling the turmoil that Shinomori did not address. Enishi had said something to precipitate this visit. Would he reveal it?
"May I ask a question?" Aoshi nodded.
"What else did Enishi say when he asked you for Misao? And if you can remember, could you possibly relate all of his words? It would help me to understand, I think. " Well, maybe it would, if Enishi had said anything that made sense and if Aoshi would give him a complete answer. Was Enishi insane again? Was he focused on Misao as he had focused on Tomoe?
"He told me that I knew he cared for her. He said she was the heart of the Oniwabanshuu. He said she would do it if I asked it of her. He wants her to be his wife, bear his children. He said Misao belongs to the Okashira." Aoshi paused - well choked would be more accurate.
Kenshin gently urged him on. "I can feel there is more to tell. Can you share it with me?"
"He said I took her love and gave her nothing in return. He accused me of repressing every emotion. He said he was more suited to be the Okashira than I because he had been able to resume his life, while I hid from mine. He said he would give Misao the love and affection she deserves, and if she could not return his affection, it would not matter. She would be his, he would be the Okashira, and together they would rebuild the Oniwabanshuu and within it their own family." Aoshi closed his eyes with the pain of remembering.
"I must ask you one more question, Aoshi. Can you bear it?" Kenshin's voice was quiet, but encouraging. Again, Aoshi nodded.
"I know that Enishi freely offered his services to the Oniwabanshuu. Why did you ask him to join you, to succeed you?"
Aoshi regarded Himura carefully. He had been right to come here, this question alone showed his understanding of the situation. He sighed and began to speak again.
"I wanted Misao to have a choice. I knew Enishi had feelings for her. I gave her the assignment to recruit him. Preferably as a member, but in any event to strengthen the relationship. I believed, and still believe that with his skills we could rebuild the group in several years. Without him, it may take decades. I resumed the Okashira title to accomplish this goal. I knew I would have to give it to him or he would not consider committing himself to us."
"I believe I can help you, Aoshi. Kaoru-dono is due home shortly. Let me think about things while I make dinner - unless you would rather eat Kaoru's cooking."
"Kaoru cooks? Misao has never let me taste her food."
"There's a reason for that, Shinomori. We can resume our discussions after she retires."
Kaoru, Kenshin and Aoshi had a quiet dinner. Aoshi's limited responses to Kaoru's enquiries about her other friends in Kyoto were not noticeably shorter than his usual reticent remarks. Also, she was too tired to pursue any particular topic with these reserved men. On days when she taught extra classes she was more tired than usual, and she retired shortly after dinner. Kenshin and Aoshi took their tea and discussion into the dojo, where they were sure not to disturb her or to be overheard.
Kenshin re-opened the dialog, as Aoshi continued to be silent and despondent.
"May I ask you one last question?" Again, Aoshi nodded for Kenshin to continue.
"Did Enishi speak the truth?"
"In what respect?"
"Regarding your feelings, regarding your emotional distance, about you failing to resume your life? Have you applied your ruthless logic to this issue?"
"Yes, and Yes."
Kenshin paused, clearly searching for the right words to express himself.
"You repress your emotions, yet you have been acting on them recently."
"When?"
"When you abandoned your meditation to engage in personal surveillance of the Yukishiro dojo, for one, and also by coming to see me. When you were Okashira at 15 would you have seen only two choices in this matter?
"Shinomori, you mentioned you wanted Misao to have a choice. Shall I tell you what I believe that choice was?" Another pause, then Kenshin continued.
"You sent her on this assignment, to recruit a man you knew had an attraction to her, to give her the opportunity to feel that attraction and decide if her love for you was real. You envisioned Enishi as Okashira only if coaxed there by Misao returning his feelings. If not, you presumed she would include him in some lesser role for the Oniwabanshuu. Instead, Enishi forced your hand. Am I close?"
"Yes. Am I that transparent?"
"Only to me, and I believe, to Enishi." Now Aoshi's attention was rapt.
"He is extremely curious. He has felt your own attraction to Misao. He must have spent most of the time he was considering your offer trying to figure out why you would send Misao instead of coming yourself. Enishi is very smart, and one of the most crafty men of my acquaintance - and that's saying quite a lot.
"I believe you have misread his intentions. Enishi is talented, but also very full of himself. He would want a wife totally committed to him, not to any other man."
"You think he is bluffing?"
"Not for a minute. If you accept his terms, he will marry Misao. Enishi is also arrogant. He probably believes that once you have broken her heart, he will mend the pieces so skillfully that she will love him. He may be correct, but..."
"But what?"
"...I doubt it."
"Why?"
"I have seen what you and Enishi have not. Misao threw herself over a deep crevice, one she could not hope to cross, rather than miss a possible chance to find you."
"You saved her?" Aoshi's voice was a quiet whisper; he was so taken aback at the thought of Misao in such danger.
"Yes. She may grow to love Enishi in time, but she will never love anyone the way she loves you.
"You have asked for my advice, are you ready to hear it?" Aoshi again nodded for Kenshin to continue.
"Intellectually, you must examine your choices as you would have at 15. Emotionally, you must confront your true feelings in this matter. How do you feel about Misao? Are you ready to resume your life? With her? If you do not love her, or are unwilling to live your life with her, perhaps you should consider Enishi's offer in that light...
"The choice is yours, Okashira."
Kenshin rose and went off to his room. Calling back over his shoulder, "You know where the guest room is, see you in the morning."
Kenshin was always the first one up in the morning, but the next morning he arose to find a note in the kitchen:
Himura,
Your honesty is as ruthless as my logic.
In turn, I would remind you:
"Kaoru-dono and Misao-dono are similar in some respects, ne?"
Author's Note:
Paybacks are heck, ne?