Title: Effervescent Essence
Author: Harper's aka Weird_Peace
Rating: PG-13
Synopsis: Sequel to And You Thought Larvae Were Bad. I highly suggest you read the first fiction.
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, but I love 'em anyways.
Spoilers: Season Two spoilers.

--------------------

Beka paced around the Maru like a caged animal. It had only been a few hours ago that Rev had held her back from marching down to Coco's residence and pulling Harper out of there by the ear.

"You should have let me go." She glared at the Magog sitting at the table and reading a book. Rev sighed and placed a marker between the pages.

"Master Harper must be allowed to make his own mistakes. You cannot hold his hand for his entire life, Beka."

"Who says?" she asked, falling back into a bunk, her attitude changing. "It's my fault for not talking to him sooner. And then pushing too much when the time finally came."

"Do not blame yourself Rebecca," Rev said, frowning. "Nobody is perfect."

"Especially me," Beka said.

"What I meant is you shouldn't expect Harper to be," Rev said, returning to his book. "Even so, I'm sure he'll make the right decision. From what I gather, Harper has matured quite a bit since I last left you."

"Yeah, well, apparently he hasn't grown enough," she began. "You know, for once I'd..."

Beka stopped and stood, pointing her gun down the corridor as the familiar sound of the doors opening echoed through the ship. Her arm fell to her side at the same time her mouth fell open. Harper glanced at both her and Rev, then walked to the crew quarters.

"No, we didn't, and no, I don't want to talk about it," he answered Beka before she could ask. "If you say 'I'm so proud of you' or 'I told you so,' do not blame me for sudden light instabilities or temperature alterations in your quarters." With that he swung himself up into his bunk, taking off his shoes and jacket, which narrowly missed Beka as they were thrown off to the side. Harper curled up and pretended to sleep.

Beka looked over at Rev, and the two exchanged quick smiles.

"I heard that!" Harper yelled, causing Beka to roll her eyes before heading off to bed herself. Rev continued to look at the pages of the book, his mind drifting off into his memories of the early days of the Maru crew. It was good to be back.

--------------------------

Rev was happily welcomed back by all the crew minus Tyr, who didn't show much emotion towards the priest at all. In a few weeks, Harper would send a letter to Coco, apologizing again and hoping they could remain good friends. He wouldn't get a letter back. Beka and Rev never mentioned the incident to Trance, and as far as they knew, she was oblivious.

Two days after their return, Harper had Rommie call Trance into his quarters. The golden pixie was in a good mood, until she saw the look on the young man's face. Trance gently sat down next to him on the bed, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Harper, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned.

"Trance, I've...I've..." He looked over at her. "Could you please take your hand off me?"

Trance obeyed, her alarm growing by the nanosecond. It was clearly showing on her face. Harper was being overly fidgety, and he kept avoiding her eyes.

"Harper, you're really beginning to worry me," she said, reaching for him again, but he shied away. "What is it? Is it me?"

"No!" he cried, and then stopped. "I mean...I'm not sure anymore, Trance. It's all so confusing."

"What is confusing?" she asked him.

"Isn't your species supposed to know everything?" Harper teased, though the humor failed to make a presence in his voice.

"I never said that," Trance said.

"No, you didn't. Because you never tell me anything." Harper stood up suddenly. "Why Trance?"

"What makes you think I never tell you anything?" she accused.

"Wrong again. You're losing your touch," he said, once again humorless. "Why can't there be an us?"

Everything Trance had planned to say dissolved. She was left open mouthed and speechless, only regaining composure after seeing Harper was staring at her and waiting for an answer.

"Why do people end up with the people they end up with?" Trance finally decided on. "Harper, even I don't know the answer to that."

"But you do, don't you. The only reason you wouldn't want to be with me is because you don't love me."

"That's not true!" Trance stood up to meet Harper eye to eye. "I love you with all my heart! It's just not the way you want it. Harper, you don't know how much I want to make you happy, but I..."

He had to get her to shut up. It was all becoming too much, and Trance's words were adding to the giant weight that seemed to press onto his very brain and invade his thoughts. She wasn't understanding. And everything he was saying wasn't making her understand. So Harper placed a hand on either side of her head and mashed their lips together.

Perfection. That's what Trance's nickname should be. She tasted like everything he had ever wanted in life and never been able to gain. A warm feeling coursed through him as well as surprise as Trance started to respond. The warmth was soon smashed along with his body against a cold wall of steel as Trance abruptly ended the kiss by pushing him away with all her force.

"You had no right!" she screamed as he gingerly stood. Harper noted she was much cuter mad.

"Tell me you didn't feel anything," he said, ignoring the fact he had a pissed pixie ready to strangle him. "That's all I want to hear, just tell me you didn't feel anything."

"Is that what it's going to take?!" Trance cried, still upset. Now was the time, the time her brother had talked to her about. Now it had to be absolutely clear. "Nothing, I felt absolutely nothing! Are you satisfied? There is nothing between us Harper."

Harper jerked like he had been shot. That's sure as hell how he felt. Maybe Beka was right. Maybe he had been watching too many holo dramas. Because in his mind, Harper had envisioned a perfect future. The kiss was unexpected, but he had anticipated Trance to come out with all these feelings she had for him but had been afraid to tell. They would kiss some more and spend the night talking about how perfect their lives would be. Their child would be born, and they'd all live on the Andromeda happily ever after.

Snowballs in hell had better chances.

Trance regretted her words the moment they left her mouth. Why did Harper have to do this to her, why now? So many questions, and for once the young female didn't have the answers. Harper swallowed a few times, then nodded.

"Okay." He bit his lip, trying to keep that promise he had made to himself before starting this conversation. No tears. "You've made your point. I'll respect that from now on. It...It doesn't mean I will, or even can, stop..." Harper choked, then took a deep breath, "...loving you in that way. I'll just have to deal with it, I guess."

"Harper, I still love you, you know that," Trance whispered.

"Please don't ever say that again," Harper said before walking out the door. Trance fell back onto the couch, tears streaming down her face.

Why couldn't it just be like it used to be? Why did things and people have to change? Why did words hurt so much? Why were humans so stupid? Why did she have to be born different? Why did it feel like the universe was playing with her?

This had all started with a why. Why can't there be an us?

"Oh Harper, if only you knew."