Melody Powers and the Temple of Doom

By Ruthless Bunny

Daria signed on to her fanfiction.net account to see how her latest Melody Powers story was fairing with the critics.  She anticipated that the story would be extremely well received.  After all, she knew that she was a superior writer.  After all, she had her friends Tom and Jane beta read her stories and they thought that they were good.  After all, she proofread it and she herself had found it to be sound.

Daria's heart beat quickly as she clicked on the little 4 that let her know that four people had reviewed her story.

Review 1-Sailor Libby

That rox!  rite more.

Daria smiled.  One positive review.  Sailor Libby was one of her fans; it's good to have regular fans.

Review 2-Oscar the Grouch Not bad, C+

Daria frowned.  C+? Who was this guy?  What did he know about female action adventure fics?  She harrumphed and scrolled down to the next review.

Review 3-Janey

I'm glad you finally posted this.  It came out great, especially after you added the character of Melody Power's best friend.  ;-P

Daria smiled again.  Jane could always be counted upon to give her the boost she needed.  She clicked the mouse two times and then she saw the review.  It was longer than any review she had ever seen previously.  Daria was frustrated with the pop-up ad that temporarily disturbed her from reading her last review.  Once she cleared it away, she was able to read unmolested.

Review 4-The Bad Rabbit

Your story is well written, but it is clear that you do not write from experience.  Your story is action packed, but it lacks warmth.  Even in the most outlandish stories, each character is clearly defined, with motivations, feelings and ambitions.  Your characters seem to serve a purpose of revenge and wish fulfillment.  This is not bad for a young writer, but infuse your stories with more personal experience and use less pointless violence and gore

Daria was furious!  How dare this Rabbit tell her how to write?  After all, it was just one installment.  If the reviewer was going to give her a bad review, then she should have waited until Daria had finished all 24 chapters before posting it. 

Daria got up and paced around her room.  What should she do?  Obviously this Rabbit-person didn't know good writing.  After all, other people liked it. Daria thought about why the reviewer disliked her.  It must be a personal thing.  The reviewer wasn't responding to the story, but to Daria herself.

Why did the Rabbit dislike her?  Was it something she put on a message board?   No, Daria didn't post on message boards.  Was it something that she might have said to the Rabbit?  No, Daria didn't even know the Rabbit.  Well, whatever it was, it was clear that the Rabbit had a virulent hate for Daria, otherwise, why else would she write such a terrible review?  Daria knew that her story was perfect, the only reason she could think of for the Rabbit to say such bad things about it must be hate.  Or jealousy.  That must be it, the Rabbit is jealous. 

The Rabbit was known for a certain kind of story herself.  So maybe it was the fact that the Rabbit didn't write in the action genre that she didn't like Daria's story.  Daria went back to ff.net and started to look at the Rabbit's reviews of other stories.  She wished that she hadn't, since the Rabbit reviewed frequently, and in most cases had no pattern of story preference.  There were other action adventure stories that the Rabbit did enjoy, so Daria couldn't attribute the savage review that she got to a preference on the Rabbit's part.

Daria concluded that the Rabbit was jealous of her story.  After all, Daria was young and talented and the Rabbit was an old hag.  Daria smiled as she began to understand why the Rabbit hated her work.  She thought about some stories that the Rabbit had written.  Didn't she do some weird crossovers?  Perhaps Daria could make fun of them; after all, if the Rabbit wrote them, the Rabbit must think that they are superior. 

Daria thought about the Rabbit's stories.  They sure were different from hers.  Daria had never really liked the Rabbit's work.  Daria wasn't into romance and fluff. 

Daria went to the Rabbit's oeuvre on ff.net and perused the reviews.  Most of them were thoughtful.  There were the ubiquitous one-line praise-fests, there were the one-line bad reviews, but there were also some with helpful feedback.  Daria grew frustrated.  Apparently the Rabbit's readers generally enjoyed her work.  Daria had to accept that the Rabbit wasn't operating out of envy. 

So why was the Rabbit so mean?  Why didn't she love the Melody Powers stories?  Daria could not comprehend how anyone wouldn't appreciate her well-crafted revenge sagas. 

Daria brooded about it until dinner.  Despite all of the good feedback from her peers, the one negative review ate at her.  Daria re-read the story.  She couldn't see it.  Her characters were deep.  After all, didn't she see all of those movies where these kinds of characters triumphed over those who would destroy the world?  Wasn't that realistic?  Movies like that made tons of money every day.  Who's to say that Daria couldn't eventually sell Melody Powers to Hollywood?  Who's to say that Daria wouldn't be a great screenwriter?  Daria knew that her talent was undisputed.

Daria decided to e-mail the Rabbit.  She found her e-mail address in her profile.

From: Melody Powers

To: The Bad Rabbit

I don't know why you didn't like my story.  I worked really hard on it and it seems to me that you could read a bit more of it before deciding that it needs work.  It's not fair that you let your personal feelings for me cloud your judgment of my writing.  There are plenty of people that like my stories and you should take that into account when you leave a review of people's work.

Daria decided to log off and do her homework.  Later in the evening she logged back on and found a response to her e-mail.

From: The Bad Rabbit

To: Melody Powers

Dear Melody,

I'm not sure exactly where you got the idea that I have any personal feelings about you.  I don't know you.  I merely pointed out areas where you could enhance your story.  You certainly are a talented writer, I only hope that by telling you what you need to improve, that you will become even better.

Rabbit =:-)

Daria read this message with rage.  The Rabbit claimed not to know her?   Daria knew that there couldn't be any explanation for the bad review except a personal ax to grind.  Clearly she wasn't going to sway the reviewer in e-mail.  She had to think of a plan.

Daria grew curious about the Rabbit.  She needed to know everything about her enemy.  Wasn't that what a bad review was, a gauntlet thrown by an enemy?  Daria stayed up late into the night reading the Rabbit's stories.  Every time she finished one, she made a point to leave a review.

Review-Melody Powers

This is just a standard shipper story, and therefore it's boring.

Review-Melody Powers

This story is about as exciting as mashed turnips

Review-Melody Powers

Oh, sorry, I fell asleep.  I give this a 4 out of 10

Now let's see how the Rabbit felt.  Daria waited.  She continued to check the review section of ff.net for the next two days, but it seemed that the Rabbit didn't know that her archenemy was gunning for her.

Daria went to school, she ate pizza with Jane and she wrote in the evenings.  She played her music and wrote and wrote.  This was the best Melody Powers story ever!  She sent it to Jane for her feedback.  Jane wrote back that it was as good a story as she had ever read.  Daria excitedly posted it, making sure to put in the summary of the story that she didn't want any flames.  She fell into bed exhausted, but she knew that when she awoke, that she would have good reviews to look forward to.

Daria's alarm didn't go off that morning, so she was running too late to check the site before leaving for school.  It was hard to concentrate, wondering how people were reacting to the latest installment in her series.  She wished that she could just stay in the computer lab all day, so she could see the reviews as they were coming in. 

Finally it was time for the dismissal bell to ring.  Daria gathered her stuff, and she and Jane walked home.

"Jane, I posted my story last night."  Daria played it cool, not wanting to betray how excited she was about her latest achievement.

"Oh good.  I know that your readers are looking forward to it."  Jane checked out her cuticles as they walked down the street. 

"I've got to get home to see the reviews.  I just know that the twist at the end will surprise everyone."  Daria walked quickly, driving Jane into the house and upstairs so that she could check her reviews.

Daria clicked until she got to the page with her story on it.  There were already three reviews!  She excitedly clicked on them.

Review 1-Sailor Libby

This is the best yet! Go grrl!

Review 2-Maxxi

Lots of action! Maxxi like.

Review 3-Janey

You really know how to write.  I can't wait for the next installment.

Jane smiled.  "I added mine from the media center during study hall.  I really did like it."

Daria sat back, deflated.  She wanted more.  Sure, people liked the story, but they never told her why they liked the story.  She thought about how Sailor Libby seemed to like everything.  Jane of course always left her a warm fuzzy.  Sometimes new people floated into her story world, but they didn't all stay.  The praise was great, but she wanted her readers to tell her exactly what it was that they liked. "Jane, what did you think about the character of the evil gardener?"

Jane thought about it while she ate a graham cracker. "He was really evil.  I understand why Melody had to remove his intestines with a weed whacker." 

"Right, but did you understand why he felt the need to salt the earth?"  Daria probed.

"Yeah, he was evil.  Do you have any more milk?"  Jane held out her empty glass.

"In the kitchen.  Wait.  But you saw that the fact that his father was bitten by a Venus Flytrap led to his hate for all vegetation, right?"  Daria quizzed Jane about the details.

"Right.  Whatever.  I'll be back in a minute." Jane went downstairs.

Daria sat back on the bed and thought about her next installment.  She knew that she was on the right track. This next story would be the one that would make everyone sit up and take notice.  She was going to cross Melody Powers over with a movie...but which one? 

Author's Note:  Any resemblance to anything that I've been dealing with for the past couple of weeks is not coincidental.  Any characters depicted in this story resemble you only because they are based upon you.