Disclaimer: Fushigi Yuugi and lyrics to "The Cape of Storms" are copyright Yuu Watase and Hyde respectively.
Author's Note: Hmm…I'm honestly not sure what to say about this one…just that I really don't believe that Hotohori got over Miaka as quickly as Yuu Watase made it seem…and I express that in this fic. It's a bit sad and bittersweet, and I would appreciate any reviews. ^_^ Thanks!
The Cape of Storms
So where do I sail?
A ship losing control
My cries swallowed up, lost in the raging sea
Night hung heavily over Konan Empire, engulfing its people in a dark, suffocating warmth, much like a layer of velveteen blanket. Silence came with the darkness and aided it in creating an atmosphere of comfort—a surreal comfort, but comfort nonetheless. None ventured outside their homes at this hour, for the city could be unsafe at times; yet night brought a safety that none could explain, and none cared to try.
As the rest of the country slept, one remained awake. The emperor of Konan lay in his bed, not allowing sleep to claim him, as the minutes of solitude slowly ticked by. Turning onto his side, he found himself looking into the face of his empress. Even in the dim light, she seemed to radiate with beauty—her soft ivory skin, pink lips parted slightly in sleep, and sable-black eyelashes fluttering with the gentle rise and fall of her breathing. The emperor gazed at her sadly a moment, then quietly rose from the bed, careful not to disturb his sleeping wife. Making sure to avoid the guards that shadowed him everywhere he went, he made his way through the corridors of the palace and stopped in front of a set of mahogany doors, turning the bronze handles and opening them.
So where has love gone?
Will I ever reach it?
The Cape of Storms echoes the pain I feel inside
As he stepped into the courtyard, his senses were filled with the intoxicating scent of the night. The breeze carried the smell of the midnight blossoms, mingling with the cool and fresh, indescribable aroma that the darkness brought with it. While the night seemed almost oppressive from inside, out here it was vast and welcoming—perhaps not as much of a comfort, yet it beckoned to the emperor with promises of freedom and solitude.
Solitude…was that what he wanted? It seemed he was constantly surrounded by people, and yet…there was something missing…
Taking a seat in the cool, damp grass, he tried to concentrate his thoughts on something else. He looked out across the pond, focusing his gaze on the dancing of the fireflies above the water. The luminous invertebrates dipped down to the surface in lazy, soothing formations, and for a moment all else was forgotten as the emperor observed them in silence.
Soon, however, his thoughts returned to the inevitable. He'd been married for three months now; an heir could be provided for the country, and he could be happy and at ease. Yet happiness had continued to elude him. The miko's job was almost over; the Shinzahou had been retrieved, and the summoning of Suzaku would soon take place. His country would be saved. So why did it feel so empty and meaningless?
You'll never notice
The color of sin
Just as the storm clouds close in
It's dark
He knew the answer. As much as he longed to forget, as many times as he'd promised to himself that he'd give up on her…he still loved Suzaku no Miko. His empress took away some of the pain; he supposed that he loved her, but the ache he felt whenever he was near the miko told him that he'd never truly forget...
Why can't I just move on?
Here in the shadows
I am pursued
Until the ends of the earth
Embraced
The emperor slowly lay down in the grass, the cool smell of it enveloping him with sympathy. He gazed up at the stars, sparkling like gems on their ceaseless journey across the midnight sky; a firefly bobbed lazily overhead, and for a moment star and firefly were one, both a part of the vast ocean of the heavens.
The ghost ship wanders far
For there is no guiding star
And this treasure has no meaning anymore
Closing his eyes, the emperor gave in to his loneliness. Allowing his mind and senses to guide him, he thought back to the last moment he'd spent alone with her…how long ago had it been? At least four months…yet he could remember it as if it were yesterday…engraved in his memory, to stay forever…
So where do I sail?
A ship losing control
My cries swallowed up, lost in the raging sea
The seemingly distant sound of a door closing brought him out of his thoughts. Sitting up, he turned to see the silhouette of a figure standing by the edge of the courtyard; even in the darkness, he knew instantly who it was…
So where has love gone?
Will I ever reach it?
The Cape of Storms echoes the pain I feel inside
The figure seemed to notice him as well. Hesitating, as if unsure, they stepped forward slightly onto the grass—at least thirty feet away from him, but he could almost feel her warmth from there. Taking another step, she called out softly.
"Hotohori?"
Hotohori made no response other than lying back down and returning his gaze to the midnight sky. The girl made her way toward him, the sound of her footsteps padded by the soft grass, but still audible in the silence of night. She sat down next to him, as if it were the natural thing to do when in the presence of the emperor; yet that status never mattered to her, and it was one of her more endearing qualities. After a while in silence, she spoke.
"What are you doing out here? It's late…"
Hotohori couldn't help but smile slightly. "I should be asking you the same thing, Miaka…" he responded quietly. Yet he couldn't bring himself to look at her. The pain would be too much, and already the sound of her voice was causing his body to ache in longing and regret. He forced his gaze on the stars overhead, trying to shut off the rest of his senses.
Miaka could tell he was somewhat uncomfortable, despite the smile and kindness in his voice.
"I just wanted some time alone…I'm kind of glad you're here, though…"
She looked out across the water as the emperor had done just moments ago, the fireflies capturing her attention. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she watched their endless dance above the pond.
"They're really beautiful, aren't they?"
Hotohori sat up slightly, finally looking at her. "What are?" he asked, a hint of curiousity in his tone.
"The fireflies," Miaka replied softly. "I love them."
A sadness coming to his eyes, Hotohori followed her gaze. "Aa…" After a moment in silence, he turned his gaze to her; a slight breeze caressed his cheek, and the ache steadily grew. "They are beautiful…" he whispered, unable to disquise the emotions in his voice…
You know completely
The taste of sin
Melting sweet in your mouth
Like chocolate
Miaka turned to look at him, immediately seeing the loneliness in his expression that she knew all too well. She spoke quietly, trying not to allow her own emotions get the best of her.
"Houki-san…you love her…ne?"
Hotohori quickly turned away, as if Miaka had plunged a dagger into his chest. Unable to say anything, he held back tears—tears he'd kept at bay for so long. He refused to let them fall, as he'd always done; just as, for the past several months, he'd locked up his emotions…just as he'd abandoned the truth…
Miaka moved closer to him, placing a hand gently on his shoulder. She spoke quietly, almost sadly. "Hotohori…it's for the best…if I said that I loved you, it would be a lie…and that would hurt you…I love you as a friend, but nothing more…"
A moment of pleasure
You are fulfilled
But every dream has its time
To die
This was too much. Hotohori removed Miaka's hand from his shoulder and, turning to face her, held her hand in his; his eyes glistening with tears, he enveloped her in his arms, and placed his lips upon hers. The salty taste of his tears marred the sweetness of the kiss, but that didn't matter to him; he allowed all of his unspoken emotions and shattered dreams to be whispered into her, as her forgotten warmth caused more of his barriers to break down…
The ghost ship wanders far
For there is no guiding star
And this treasure has no meaning anymore
The sheer amount of emotions radiating from him caused Miaka to tense; and as the meaning of those emotions became apparent, she felt unbidden tears form behind her own eyes. To keep the tears from leaking out, she closed them, her eyelashes brushing softly against those of the emperor. For a moment, something inside her surfaced—an emotion she'd forced away, an emotion she thought had left her entirely—and Miaka returned Hotohori's kiss, the two of them appearing as one in the dim light of the fireflies. Tears, emotions, senses mingled until there truly was no distinguishing each from the other's…
Will this be my fate?
Finally, Miaka pulled away from him. Panting slightly, tears glistened in her eyes as she shook her head, knowing what she was about to say would hurt him more than anything before.
"I'm sorry…Hotohori…you have to move on…"
Without another word, she stood and began to hurry back to the palace, hot tears now streaming down her cheeks. And yet, the emperor could not bring any more tears to his own eyes…no. Now, his eyes were without hope…the storm had passed, leaving an emptiness like no other. The light of the fireflies flickered and died away, returning to the vastness of the heavens…and once more became one with the stars…
So where do I sail?
A ship losing control
My cries swallowed up, lost in the raging sea
So where has love gone?
Will I ever reach it?
The Cape of Storms echoes the pain I feel inside…