IF YOU THINK THAT GAINAX OWNS EVANGELION...then your right. I'm 'borrowing'(taking without permission) the characters of Evangelion and making a fool out of them for my entertainment. If I happen to make someone else enjoy these then...cool.
Do take note that these don't really fit in with the story line ANYWHERE and most likely could be damn funny to boot! I am a serious Asuka fan, but this is fanfiction land, it's open season for all I care *Loads rifle*
This is a revised version due to changed posting restictions. However I've been dying to add a plot in here sometime.
Enjoy!
Any line with a + is the doctor session DrunkDrake
Insanity Beckons!
Interlude 01: I am the idiot of your mind
~~~~~~~~
The doctor looked at his watch as the time ticked away. Her eyes following the slowly moving second hand as it made it's way around the watch for the 100th time this day. Wait was it only a day...
"Yo doc, ya listening?"
The doctor shook her head and cleared her vision. She was back in her office, the sterile one. The one she used when dealing with patients. She looked up from her watch and over her notebook, past the pen, took a left past the eraser graveyard and...
"Hello? doc? I distinctly remember that I was supposed to be the mental one here"
The doctor smiled at her patient.
"Sorry. That last one really touched a moment of my life too" The doctor shuffled her notes and reached for a new pen because her old one just died.
"So what now?" The patient fiddled their fingers on their lap awaiting the reflective doctors orders.
"Well... You've been out of coma for?"
"7 days"
"7 days. I've been told that while in a comatose state, dreams have a way of getting out of control. Tell me one of the dreams you had"
---
Shinji was sitting and was watching as something approached him. The setting sun was right in his eyes as the figure moved towards him.
"Is that?"
"Yes"
"But...isn't someone..."
"Irrelevant"
Shinji doesn't move and he's flung back as if struck
"Shinji why aren't you doing anything?"
"I can't..."
"Irrelevant, do as your commanded!"
"NO!" Shinji's throat starts to constrict.
"I'D RATHER DIE!"
*WHAP!* The spatula Asuka was holding hits the back of Shinji's head. After she walked out of the sun light.
"Oh come on. My cooking ain't that bad"
---+
"Interesting..." The doctor blinked as she noticed her pen fell out of her hand. She reached over and picked it up. Checking she noticed it too was now dead... 'damn cut backs'
"That's nothing dock, this one kept replaying in my head. Just listen to this!" The patient then went on about their dream.
---
The eva pilot walked into the apartment. It was a mess. The pilot hadn't been in here before, and it was in an obvious state of mis-caring.
The pilot walked forward with the mission in mind and headed for the others room.
The person stopped at looked at a little tokened treasure that belonged to the other. Unable to refuse the rising curiosity, the frame picked up the little token, just as someone stepped out of the shower.
Turning around the new frame was slightly blocked by light fading from the room. The person only had a towel on but made quick strides to take back their token. The figure stepped backlifting the token into the air as the towelled one reached up and took it back. However the first frame slipped and grabbed onto the showered one and over balanced both of them. The towel was lost in the fall and Rei Ayanami was positioned on all fours over a very naked Shinji.
"Look Rei, I know your still pissed about last week, but really do you have to do this every time?"
"I never expressed anger. I believe I'm enjoying this"
"Whatever just gimme back the damned SDAT and learn to knock"
---+
Shuffling to get the comfort back in her newly uncomfortable chair the doctor wondered just how screwed up her new patient is.
"May I recommend...
"No medications..." The patient warned with a steely look in their eye.
"Ahh.. sure, we'll resume this later" The doctor got up and left for her boss's office.
---
Gendo sat at his desk in his patented Gendo Position. He was the commander of NERV, super smart, cool and dashing(when he wasn't on some ego trip). He sat in his dark office that had the tree of life on the roof and the sacred ladder on the floor. 'Note to self have janitor put the damned thing back in the broom closet, I tripped over the damn thing'.
Fuyutsuki was sitting on the opposite of Gendo and they were playing a game of sorts. A game of strategy, a game of risk, a game fit for any future evil ruler/destroyer of the world. They resumed playing as another figure approached the door.
Dr. Akagi then entered the room stopping past the door as it swished closed behind her. She didn't go far enough as the closing doors nipped her butt. 'Damn doors, this'll be the 3rd time this week. I could have sworn I fixed them yesterday?!'. She walked towards the desk of Gendo as she heard odd noises coming from and grunting. She deftly stepped over the miss placed ladder and stopped in front of the desk. Shock immediately, settled on her face, at the scene of what the 2 adult men were doing.
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
Gendo and Fuyutsuki paused a looked up for a moment.
"Something to report Doctor?"
"What the hell are you going?!"
"Playing a game of strategy, a game of risk, a game fit for any future evil ruler/destroyer of the world"
"HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPOS!?"
"Yeah, so?"
"That's a kid's game!"
"...No it's not..."
"Look! It is!"
All 3 look at the game. Gendo looked up at her.
"It's a game of fast reflexes and waiting for the opportune time to strike to maximize your gain!"
"You only wanna keep playing this cause you keep winning Gendo" Fuyutsuki said pinning him with a stare. "And you always beat me to the cute lucky pink one too!"
Akagi only stared at the 2 men before back stepping and leaving the room. She sighed greatly as she left. The doors nipping her butt again on the way out.
"You ever gonna fix the doors to stop doing that?" Fuyutsuki looked up at Gendo.
"Why?"
"Good point"
---+
The doctor returned and leapt when the door closed too early.
"That looks like it might hurt..." the patient said pointing and the newly closed door
"It's worse then it seems. Well, I believe we should continue in your best interest, so go on"
---
Asuka was the best damn pilot of the all the choose Children, She had trained from age 4 to be the best, she had her EVA painted red as a sigh of strength and with an IQ over 150 she had a college diploma. Even a master of 2 languages! She was the best of the best!
If only she bothered to brush up on her Kanji though...
"DAMN TEACHER! A 2000 word essay due for tomorrow!"
---+
"Your sure that was a dream, cause I remember that had happened only a few months back..." the doctor mused chewing on the eraser side of her pencil.
"Look, who's telling the story here anyway?" The patient glared and the doctor replied with a hand that pointed up
"Why the author of course!" the doctor lowered her hand as the patient wondered who the mental case was.
"Right... Well it turns out that this next dream was connected to the last one!"
"Do tell" The doctor rested her chin in her palm as the patient once again foretold their story.
---
~~Operation Rayanami~~
Rei was wandering around the classroom during a break and barging into any conversations that she came across. Her blood red iris's had a tendency to creep anybody out if she gave someone a stare. She much rather enjoyed it really. But she had no friends(sigh) If only I were normal she thought.
A thought came to her mind just then.
Everyone in the class suddenly stopped what they were doing when maniacal laughing was coming from somewhere. Seeing it was Kensuke drooling over something about hand held N^2 portable hand grenades, everything went back to normal.
---
Rei stayed up all night staring at the mirror. 'In order for my plan to work, I must show emotion'. Rei stared with her emotionless mask into the mirror. 'Ok let's try something simple...a glare' Rei's eyes narrowed very slightly and the air around her suddenly got chili. The mirror promptly got covered in mist. 'Ok, not bad. Let's try a smile' Rei's face slowly spread into a small almost invisible smile. The room started to glow. Rei felt as if she was ready and started at laugh. The universe promptly did a 180 and everything that was right with the world fell on it's assets.
~*~*~
"Owww! Shinji, why'd you hit me?!"
Shinji stared at his fist as it hovered in the air from where it had solidly connected with Asuka's chin.
"I don't know but DAMN IT FELT GOOD!!!!"
~*~*~
Gendo suddenly felt very guilty and started handing out fruit baskets to everyone in NERV and he started to wipe the floors clean with a mop.
Fuyutsuki sat naked in the command chair in the main office with about every security camera on him 'I feel dangerous today'
Maya started a Congo line and Makoto actually combed the mess that was his hair, while Aoba ripped off his wig showing he was naturally bald.
~*~*~
Misato drove 10 miles under the speed limit and graciously waved other drivers forward.
Ritsuko was running around in EVA 00(Don't ask how, I merely type this garbage) screaming "Momma! I can't lose! Not with my Mommy watching!!!" she promptly did the nicest thingin her heart and decided to practice long jumps over the school. Obviously not skilled(or caring) enough she ran through it. Utterly trashing it.
Hikari shrieked, that she ran out of booze and Toji cried about not being able to go to school. Kensuke became an interior decorator using rose's and pansies as designing tools.
~*~*~
Yes the world truly was screwed, however this only lasting 2.93 seconds as Rei forgot why she was smiling and returned to her emotionless mask. She begun operation "Rayanami".
She wondered how everyone would react to the new girl coming to school tomorrow.
---
"What's with Rei?" Hikari had leaned over and was whispering to Asuka. Asuka merely shook her head.
"Hi, I'm Ikkumfie(I'm comfy) Rayanami!"
The whole class sweat dropped and fell out of their seats laughing. Rei was standing at the front of class with a red bow tie in her hair and oddly placed lip stick patches that would be a fashion state, unless you were an Indiana warrior. 'Perhaps they are smarter then originally perceived'.
~~Operation Rayanami completed~~(Was I the only one that feels changed from this experience?)
---+
"I feel changed from this..." the doctor shivered in her chair as the patient sat almost blissfully unaware of their surroundings. "Wait what connect did those 2 stories have anyway?"
"When did you think Shinji hit Asuka?" the doctor shrugged "Right after hearing her bitch about her homework! D'uh! HELLO, TICKET TO OBVIOUSVILLE, seating for one" The patient pointed at the doctor.
"You'd better have one that makes me feel lovy-dovy or else I'm gonna inject so much prozac in you, that you'll always have a smile on your face, even as I nail to the cross in the basement"
The patient gulped as the doctor reached for her desk drawer.
---
Shinji lay awake in bed listening to his SDAT. He suddenly noticed movement behind him and he stopped his music. the feet padded off to the bathroom where a flush was heard and feet made a return trip.
Shinji felt rather then heard the body collapse in front of him. He opened his eyes and saw Asuka right in front of him. He leaned forward for a kiss when her eyes suddenly shot open. Shinji stained the bed with his sudden flood of sweat.
"Ahh...Shinji?"
"ahh..umm......er...yeah?"
"What are you doing in my room..."
"ummm....ahhh....yeah....errr"
"YOU BAKA HENTAI PERVERT STUPID IDIOT JERK DUMMKOPF(and the list goes on and on and on)
Asuka started to kick Shinji out the door and promptly made a little pile of Shinji in the middle of hall. Having enough of her fury die out she left and closed her door. She smiled that he had actually made a move on her. She flopped onto her bed and went to sleep.
Shinji let loose a sigh of relief that she hadn't found out the reason he went in. Her reached under his shirt and pulled out every picture of Kaji that Asuka had.
"It's just you and me handsome"
---+
The doctor was slumped over with a semi-happy smile gracing her lips...
"I always knew those two were meant for each other..."
"Ahhh. Which two doc?"
"Ah, oh... NOTHING NOTHING" The doctor sat straight up and fixed her glasses "So umm, I guess we should" The doctor stopped as her watch rung.
"Oh damn, time's up! the party is soon. Sorry but I gotta go" The doctor rushed out.
"No problem. I gotta go too" The patient exitted the same way the doctor went.
---
~~Christmas gets on everybodies NERV's~~
It was Christmas eve and Gendo felt festive. He paused and shook his head. 'These feelings will cause me to lose sight of my plan...I need away to make people hate me, but I don't want to totally screw up Christmas' Gendo pondered and suddenly he came up with the perfect idea. He hurriedly ran out of his office, but made another mental note to get that damned mis-placed ladder out of his office after tripping over it. He left to fulfil his plot.
~*~*~
"Asuka...your aunt in America sent us another door stop" Asuka looked over at Shinji and the edible brick in question. 'Damn, I thought I didn't ger her my new address'.
"It's called fruitcake Shinji" this got a startled 'oh' before he kicked it into a corner.
"So Asuka...what you gonna wear to the NERV Christmas Party?"
"Oh just a little costume I found"
"You mean this one?" Misato strutted through the apartment in a VERY skimpy Rudalf the red nosed reindeer costume. Seeing where the 'red nose' was Shinji nearly passed out from lack of air after the blood hardened from his nose bleed(That I'll leave up to your imaginations)
"Misato! What are you doing in my suit! I have nothing to wear!?"
"So your going naked?!"
Shinji was currently stuffing balled up Kleenex(TM) into every pore of his body to stem the blood from pouring out of him.
Asuka only sighed and exited her room wearing her yellow sundress. The 3 people(well 2 women and one sack of bones being dragged) headed out for the Christmas party.
~*~*~
It was a merry time of year with booze and parties but Gendo saw that everyone was in position in the main office so he donned his Santa hat and walked out.
~*~*~
Shinji had never met Santa before and he was hugging him with all his passion and even crying silent saying little nothings.
Santa had been handing out moderately sized presents to everyone but after being with Shinji Santa gave him 5 of them before disappearing.
"I think, I love the holiday seasons!"
"Shinji, let's open our presents together!" Shinji nodded to Asuka and they tore into the wrapping paper. Once they saw what was inside they clung each other and bawled their eyes out.
~*~*~
"I see, they enjoyed my Fruitcake presents! Muahahaahahahahaha! I truly am evil! MUHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gendo laughed all the way to his office and fell unconscious as he tripped over *quote* 'that damned ladder' *unquote*.
~~Christmas gets on everybodies NERV's~~
~~~~~~~~
Wow, somebody actually read it!(and made it to the end alive). This I just felt like doing cause...well just cause. I hope you enjoyed your trip through the wonderfully wacky world of...well there isn't really a name for this piece of CRA...SS fanfiction!(umm yeah that's it). I starting making this to vent some of my frustrations of my other fic.(A Calling of Souls) Let me know what you think about it! Even if it's only obscene gestures I want to know! Should I pump out an addiction to this or has your brains been soiled enough?
Well that was the revised version hoped ya liked it!!
Drakeforbake@hotmail.com
Do take note that these don't really fit in with the story line ANYWHERE and most likely could be damn funny to boot! I am a serious Asuka fan, but this is fanfiction land, it's open season for all I care *Loads rifle*
This is a revised version due to changed posting restictions. However I've been dying to add a plot in here sometime.
Enjoy!
Any line with a + is the doctor session DrunkDrake
Insanity Beckons!
Interlude 01: I am the idiot of your mind
~~~~~~~~
The doctor looked at his watch as the time ticked away. Her eyes following the slowly moving second hand as it made it's way around the watch for the 100th time this day. Wait was it only a day...
"Yo doc, ya listening?"
The doctor shook her head and cleared her vision. She was back in her office, the sterile one. The one she used when dealing with patients. She looked up from her watch and over her notebook, past the pen, took a left past the eraser graveyard and...
"Hello? doc? I distinctly remember that I was supposed to be the mental one here"
The doctor smiled at her patient.
"Sorry. That last one really touched a moment of my life too" The doctor shuffled her notes and reached for a new pen because her old one just died.
"So what now?" The patient fiddled their fingers on their lap awaiting the reflective doctors orders.
"Well... You've been out of coma for?"
"7 days"
"7 days. I've been told that while in a comatose state, dreams have a way of getting out of control. Tell me one of the dreams you had"
---
Shinji was sitting and was watching as something approached him. The setting sun was right in his eyes as the figure moved towards him.
"Is that?"
"Yes"
"But...isn't someone..."
"Irrelevant"
Shinji doesn't move and he's flung back as if struck
"Shinji why aren't you doing anything?"
"I can't..."
"Irrelevant, do as your commanded!"
"NO!" Shinji's throat starts to constrict.
"I'D RATHER DIE!"
*WHAP!* The spatula Asuka was holding hits the back of Shinji's head. After she walked out of the sun light.
"Oh come on. My cooking ain't that bad"
---+
"Interesting..." The doctor blinked as she noticed her pen fell out of her hand. She reached over and picked it up. Checking she noticed it too was now dead... 'damn cut backs'
"That's nothing dock, this one kept replaying in my head. Just listen to this!" The patient then went on about their dream.
---
The eva pilot walked into the apartment. It was a mess. The pilot hadn't been in here before, and it was in an obvious state of mis-caring.
The pilot walked forward with the mission in mind and headed for the others room.
The person stopped at looked at a little tokened treasure that belonged to the other. Unable to refuse the rising curiosity, the frame picked up the little token, just as someone stepped out of the shower.
Turning around the new frame was slightly blocked by light fading from the room. The person only had a towel on but made quick strides to take back their token. The figure stepped backlifting the token into the air as the towelled one reached up and took it back. However the first frame slipped and grabbed onto the showered one and over balanced both of them. The towel was lost in the fall and Rei Ayanami was positioned on all fours over a very naked Shinji.
"Look Rei, I know your still pissed about last week, but really do you have to do this every time?"
"I never expressed anger. I believe I'm enjoying this"
"Whatever just gimme back the damned SDAT and learn to knock"
---+
Shuffling to get the comfort back in her newly uncomfortable chair the doctor wondered just how screwed up her new patient is.
"May I recommend...
"No medications..." The patient warned with a steely look in their eye.
"Ahh.. sure, we'll resume this later" The doctor got up and left for her boss's office.
---
Gendo sat at his desk in his patented Gendo Position. He was the commander of NERV, super smart, cool and dashing(when he wasn't on some ego trip). He sat in his dark office that had the tree of life on the roof and the sacred ladder on the floor. 'Note to self have janitor put the damned thing back in the broom closet, I tripped over the damn thing'.
Fuyutsuki was sitting on the opposite of Gendo and they were playing a game of sorts. A game of strategy, a game of risk, a game fit for any future evil ruler/destroyer of the world. They resumed playing as another figure approached the door.
Dr. Akagi then entered the room stopping past the door as it swished closed behind her. She didn't go far enough as the closing doors nipped her butt. 'Damn doors, this'll be the 3rd time this week. I could have sworn I fixed them yesterday?!'. She walked towards the desk of Gendo as she heard odd noises coming from and grunting. She deftly stepped over the miss placed ladder and stopped in front of the desk. Shock immediately, settled on her face, at the scene of what the 2 adult men were doing.
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
Gendo and Fuyutsuki paused a looked up for a moment.
"Something to report Doctor?"
"What the hell are you going?!"
"Playing a game of strategy, a game of risk, a game fit for any future evil ruler/destroyer of the world"
"HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPOS!?"
"Yeah, so?"
"That's a kid's game!"
"...No it's not..."
"Look! It is!"
All 3 look at the game. Gendo looked up at her.
"It's a game of fast reflexes and waiting for the opportune time to strike to maximize your gain!"
"You only wanna keep playing this cause you keep winning Gendo" Fuyutsuki said pinning him with a stare. "And you always beat me to the cute lucky pink one too!"
Akagi only stared at the 2 men before back stepping and leaving the room. She sighed greatly as she left. The doors nipping her butt again on the way out.
"You ever gonna fix the doors to stop doing that?" Fuyutsuki looked up at Gendo.
"Why?"
"Good point"
---+
The doctor returned and leapt when the door closed too early.
"That looks like it might hurt..." the patient said pointing and the newly closed door
"It's worse then it seems. Well, I believe we should continue in your best interest, so go on"
---
Asuka was the best damn pilot of the all the choose Children, She had trained from age 4 to be the best, she had her EVA painted red as a sigh of strength and with an IQ over 150 she had a college diploma. Even a master of 2 languages! She was the best of the best!
If only she bothered to brush up on her Kanji though...
"DAMN TEACHER! A 2000 word essay due for tomorrow!"
---+
"Your sure that was a dream, cause I remember that had happened only a few months back..." the doctor mused chewing on the eraser side of her pencil.
"Look, who's telling the story here anyway?" The patient glared and the doctor replied with a hand that pointed up
"Why the author of course!" the doctor lowered her hand as the patient wondered who the mental case was.
"Right... Well it turns out that this next dream was connected to the last one!"
"Do tell" The doctor rested her chin in her palm as the patient once again foretold their story.
---
~~Operation Rayanami~~
Rei was wandering around the classroom during a break and barging into any conversations that she came across. Her blood red iris's had a tendency to creep anybody out if she gave someone a stare. She much rather enjoyed it really. But she had no friends(sigh) If only I were normal she thought.
A thought came to her mind just then.
Everyone in the class suddenly stopped what they were doing when maniacal laughing was coming from somewhere. Seeing it was Kensuke drooling over something about hand held N^2 portable hand grenades, everything went back to normal.
---
Rei stayed up all night staring at the mirror. 'In order for my plan to work, I must show emotion'. Rei stared with her emotionless mask into the mirror. 'Ok let's try something simple...a glare' Rei's eyes narrowed very slightly and the air around her suddenly got chili. The mirror promptly got covered in mist. 'Ok, not bad. Let's try a smile' Rei's face slowly spread into a small almost invisible smile. The room started to glow. Rei felt as if she was ready and started at laugh. The universe promptly did a 180 and everything that was right with the world fell on it's assets.
~*~*~
"Owww! Shinji, why'd you hit me?!"
Shinji stared at his fist as it hovered in the air from where it had solidly connected with Asuka's chin.
"I don't know but DAMN IT FELT GOOD!!!!"
~*~*~
Gendo suddenly felt very guilty and started handing out fruit baskets to everyone in NERV and he started to wipe the floors clean with a mop.
Fuyutsuki sat naked in the command chair in the main office with about every security camera on him 'I feel dangerous today'
Maya started a Congo line and Makoto actually combed the mess that was his hair, while Aoba ripped off his wig showing he was naturally bald.
~*~*~
Misato drove 10 miles under the speed limit and graciously waved other drivers forward.
Ritsuko was running around in EVA 00(Don't ask how, I merely type this garbage) screaming "Momma! I can't lose! Not with my Mommy watching!!!" she promptly did the nicest thingin her heart and decided to practice long jumps over the school. Obviously not skilled(or caring) enough she ran through it. Utterly trashing it.
Hikari shrieked, that she ran out of booze and Toji cried about not being able to go to school. Kensuke became an interior decorator using rose's and pansies as designing tools.
~*~*~
Yes the world truly was screwed, however this only lasting 2.93 seconds as Rei forgot why she was smiling and returned to her emotionless mask. She begun operation "Rayanami".
She wondered how everyone would react to the new girl coming to school tomorrow.
---
"What's with Rei?" Hikari had leaned over and was whispering to Asuka. Asuka merely shook her head.
"Hi, I'm Ikkumfie(I'm comfy) Rayanami!"
The whole class sweat dropped and fell out of their seats laughing. Rei was standing at the front of class with a red bow tie in her hair and oddly placed lip stick patches that would be a fashion state, unless you were an Indiana warrior. 'Perhaps they are smarter then originally perceived'.
~~Operation Rayanami completed~~(Was I the only one that feels changed from this experience?)
---+
"I feel changed from this..." the doctor shivered in her chair as the patient sat almost blissfully unaware of their surroundings. "Wait what connect did those 2 stories have anyway?"
"When did you think Shinji hit Asuka?" the doctor shrugged "Right after hearing her bitch about her homework! D'uh! HELLO, TICKET TO OBVIOUSVILLE, seating for one" The patient pointed at the doctor.
"You'd better have one that makes me feel lovy-dovy or else I'm gonna inject so much prozac in you, that you'll always have a smile on your face, even as I nail to the cross in the basement"
The patient gulped as the doctor reached for her desk drawer.
---
Shinji lay awake in bed listening to his SDAT. He suddenly noticed movement behind him and he stopped his music. the feet padded off to the bathroom where a flush was heard and feet made a return trip.
Shinji felt rather then heard the body collapse in front of him. He opened his eyes and saw Asuka right in front of him. He leaned forward for a kiss when her eyes suddenly shot open. Shinji stained the bed with his sudden flood of sweat.
"Ahh...Shinji?"
"ahh..umm......er...yeah?"
"What are you doing in my room..."
"ummm....ahhh....yeah....errr"
"YOU BAKA HENTAI PERVERT STUPID IDIOT JERK DUMMKOPF(and the list goes on and on and on)
Asuka started to kick Shinji out the door and promptly made a little pile of Shinji in the middle of hall. Having enough of her fury die out she left and closed her door. She smiled that he had actually made a move on her. She flopped onto her bed and went to sleep.
Shinji let loose a sigh of relief that she hadn't found out the reason he went in. Her reached under his shirt and pulled out every picture of Kaji that Asuka had.
"It's just you and me handsome"
---+
The doctor was slumped over with a semi-happy smile gracing her lips...
"I always knew those two were meant for each other..."
"Ahhh. Which two doc?"
"Ah, oh... NOTHING NOTHING" The doctor sat straight up and fixed her glasses "So umm, I guess we should" The doctor stopped as her watch rung.
"Oh damn, time's up! the party is soon. Sorry but I gotta go" The doctor rushed out.
"No problem. I gotta go too" The patient exitted the same way the doctor went.
---
~~Christmas gets on everybodies NERV's~~
It was Christmas eve and Gendo felt festive. He paused and shook his head. 'These feelings will cause me to lose sight of my plan...I need away to make people hate me, but I don't want to totally screw up Christmas' Gendo pondered and suddenly he came up with the perfect idea. He hurriedly ran out of his office, but made another mental note to get that damned mis-placed ladder out of his office after tripping over it. He left to fulfil his plot.
~*~*~
"Asuka...your aunt in America sent us another door stop" Asuka looked over at Shinji and the edible brick in question. 'Damn, I thought I didn't ger her my new address'.
"It's called fruitcake Shinji" this got a startled 'oh' before he kicked it into a corner.
"So Asuka...what you gonna wear to the NERV Christmas Party?"
"Oh just a little costume I found"
"You mean this one?" Misato strutted through the apartment in a VERY skimpy Rudalf the red nosed reindeer costume. Seeing where the 'red nose' was Shinji nearly passed out from lack of air after the blood hardened from his nose bleed(That I'll leave up to your imaginations)
"Misato! What are you doing in my suit! I have nothing to wear!?"
"So your going naked?!"
Shinji was currently stuffing balled up Kleenex(TM) into every pore of his body to stem the blood from pouring out of him.
Asuka only sighed and exited her room wearing her yellow sundress. The 3 people(well 2 women and one sack of bones being dragged) headed out for the Christmas party.
~*~*~
It was a merry time of year with booze and parties but Gendo saw that everyone was in position in the main office so he donned his Santa hat and walked out.
~*~*~
Shinji had never met Santa before and he was hugging him with all his passion and even crying silent saying little nothings.
Santa had been handing out moderately sized presents to everyone but after being with Shinji Santa gave him 5 of them before disappearing.
"I think, I love the holiday seasons!"
"Shinji, let's open our presents together!" Shinji nodded to Asuka and they tore into the wrapping paper. Once they saw what was inside they clung each other and bawled their eyes out.
~*~*~
"I see, they enjoyed my Fruitcake presents! Muahahaahahahahaha! I truly am evil! MUHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!" Gendo laughed all the way to his office and fell unconscious as he tripped over *quote* 'that damned ladder' *unquote*.
~~Christmas gets on everybodies NERV's~~
~~~~~~~~
Wow, somebody actually read it!(and made it to the end alive). This I just felt like doing cause...well just cause. I hope you enjoyed your trip through the wonderfully wacky world of...well there isn't really a name for this piece of CRA...SS fanfiction!(umm yeah that's it). I starting making this to vent some of my frustrations of my other fic.(A Calling of Souls) Let me know what you think about it! Even if it's only obscene gestures I want to know! Should I pump out an addiction to this or has your brains been soiled enough?
Well that was the revised version hoped ya liked it!!
Drakeforbake@hotmail.com