All hail me!!! the king of Insanity Beckons!!! This is a hodge podge collection of idea's that were good but nearly impossible to make a storyline out of them! Since they were actually semi-good I've devoted this to fic to them!!! Now I reveal to you with great disgust, the newest chapter of IB!!!!
Disclaimer: As your lord and master DrunkDrake, I shall inform you that I'm kind and generous and shall allow you all to 'borrow without asking' my beautiful anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion... Wow you people actually read that? Damn... Now I'll have to plead insanity at the upcoming disclaimer battle with Anno's soon to be arriving Lawyer's.
I must warn you. I believe that the rating of this would be slightly higher then the other versions mostly just because I said so. Also I've had a firm leash on Rei but she suddenly got loose on me... She's running around, so keep an eye out for her... I feel that she's going to cause trouble... Maybe I should have given her more of a staring role in my other fics...
Revisioned Version
Any line with a + is the doctor session
"talking"
'thinking'
~~segment's name~~
~*~*~ same segment new scene
(off scene yammering)
DrunkDrake
Insanity Beckons!
Interlude 03: I am the naked Chibi Asuka-Rei-Misato-Gendo of your mind
~~~~~~~~
Misato ran down the hall in her heavy bio-contamination suit. The walls all glowed a dangerous red belaying the threat looming over her if she removed her helmet.
She dashed around a corner and descended a ladder. She opened the floor hatch and a burst of air shot past her.
"This might not have been the best idea at the time..." Misato shook her head 'No time for worries... Your committed now. Everyone is placing their hopes on you!!"
She stopped at the bottom of the ladder and turned around seeing the data command terminal that was her mission. She dashed forward.
"Hope..." she typed in a command into the terminal.
"ERROR!? What the hell!?" Misato stared dumbly at the screen as it read Magi will not function command.
"Oh boy... the guys are gonna be pissed..." Misato desperately typed in the command again.
"Sweet monkey Jesus flying over the moon of Uranus, work!!" she screamed as the error message displayed itself across the screen.
Her internal com system came alive just then
"Uhh... Misato? Have you fixed the Magi's systems yet?" Fuyutsuki's nervous voice came over the other end of the line.
"Ummm, well sir I ummm..."
"I thought it was bad when the power went out but when the Magi boot up system didn't include the instructions to set the toilets to autoflush, I just knew we'd be screwed"
"Ummm.. yeah well you see sir"
"I'll inform everyone that the bathrooms are in full working order now. Good job, you deserve a raise!" Fuyutsuki hadn't bothered to note anything Misato said.
Misato only glared at the red flashing "Septic tank full" sirens in her smelly gloom.
---
It was a desperate situation...
"No d'uh"
And things were going from bad to worse...
"This is Neon Genesis Evangelion, what did you expect!!"
and many peoples lives depended on the actions of a few...
"Typical anime"
And once again our heroes descend into the fiery hearts of hell to do battle with their enemies the angels...
"Cliche piece of cra..."
DAMN IT REI LET ME GET ON WITH MY UBER KEWL L33T INTRO!!! JUST CAUSE YOUR MORE BACKED UP THEN THE TOILETS IN THE LAST STORY DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!!
"Says you..."
Ah pardon? I wasn't listening just then.
"This'll show you for not including me in your fics more often..."
I'm sorry Rei, I was on the phone. Look I Gotta go before the next scene starts. If it starts with me in it, then I'll be included in this tomfoolery.
"But Asuka said she'd be here. Just wait a few more seconds..."
Well...
"For Asuka?" Rei does an infamous kawaii-super blinking motion.
Well... sure just a few more minutes...
~~Never mix one part fanfiction with one part Evangelion~~
...Cause I'm sure Asuka would hate if I...*looks around* .... Oh my god...
"That's right your now in your own fic!!!" Rei starred at Drake with glowering dagger scythes swinging from her eyes.
NOOOOO. DEAR LORD SAVE ME!!!
Rei looks down on the poor creature that disgraces the very essence of human existence "Your now an ACC, you must abide by the laws of the 'FICS', so put those "" things around you words" Rei picked up the sorry excuse for an Earthling and hefted it's worthless carcass around like it was but paper mauche.
Ok, lemme try... Lik"e this?" Rei shook her head. 'Damn first timers'
"No"
"Ok I think I got it...now" the pathetic little doll that had resemble to the bottom feeders of the...
"Who the hell is doing that!?"
"what?" Rei stared with apathy at the soon to be boneless mound of flesh that...
"THAT!!!" screeched the homo-sapient precursor
"Oh? You mean the blatant diss'ing?" Drake nods his head. Rei points at the computer screen hovering above them.
"Up there is Rei the first. She's replaced you and your duties for now" Drake blinks as he see's a little 5 year old Chibi Rei wave back at him from across the screen.
"She's a fanfic writer?" Rei nods "when did that happen?"
"Well you see, Gehirn was really a fanfiction support group that supported each other with their works and gave awards to good fics" Drake though stunned from the news nods his head "Well, you see this really big contest was going on and while I forgot the reward everyone wanted it"
"Right..."
"Well anyway. Noaki Akagi was the best of the best writer there was... But Rei numero Uno" Rei points at Chibi Rei and Chibi Rei waves back again "did the one thing that wins in any fic contest... a lemon"
"Dear Lor"d drake sighed
"Your getting lazy again" drake looks up and views the his last typed line.
"So I am... so I am, go on"
"Well the lemon starred Noaki as some evil S&M, Gendo-izer, dominatrix" Drake listens fascinated "that was actually Yui in disguise"
"Ohh... now we know why she choked Rei-1 eh?" Rei shakes her head.
"No, you got her all wrong. Noaki was so depressed she went back to her collage days. She was high enough to suffocate from lack of air and the shrooms she wiffled made these weird pictures in her head..."
"How do you know all this?"
"Simple. I have Rei-1 implant all information of this story into my head. I am all knowing" Chibi Rei waves again.
"'nuff of the author ego trip and get on with the story!"
"Story?... There was a point to this segment?" Drake scratches his head as Rei ponders. Even chibi Rei looks confused.
Drake looks off to the side as an orange flashing light appears on the side.
"YES, time's almost up!!! I'm almost out of here!!!" Rei looks downcast.
"As soon as this segment is done, I'm free!!!" Suddenly the screen with Chibi Rei-1 enlarges and over shadows Drake.
"But since you were included in the content of this fic your now an ACC"
"Dear lord nooo... It's worse then that isn't it...?" Drake paled
"Yes. You are now a SI character. You can and WILL be brought in again several more times.
Drake's pathetic little girly scream echoed across the expanses of the Evangelion universe as his fears were realized. The world suddenly flipped upside down and he found himself sitting in front of his computer with a segment added on 'Insanity beckons'.
"It was all just... too much caffeine too much school not enough sleep... yeah, I'm just crazy, I never went to Evangelion world..." Drake sighed as he leaned against his comfy computer chair. Just a dream... and a poorly written one at that... Oh well. I guess I'd better get back to work.
---+
"Grrrr... Even I could have programmed the Magi to do the damned auto-flash but nooooooo" the doctor slammed her hands on her desk "She had to go and install musical chairs!!"
"Pardon?" the patient looked over their chair at the fuming doctor.
"Oh... Well you see the magi will only flush the toilets that they deem 'still in game'" the doctor frowned.
"So your saying that the magi and allowing the toilets to back up!?" the patient nearly screamed in horror.
"Only until the next round starts..."
"How about I tell you a bit about my past... That'll help calm our queasy stomachs till they fix the Magi..." The patient then got a lofty look in their eyes and started...
~~The revelation~~
Keel bashed his fist on the tables surface. His frustrations were getting the better of him. Gendo had practically bullied them into giving him what he wanted.
"So much resources he needed... he must be desperate" mumbled one of Keel's Co-conspirators.
Keel dumbly nodded as he watched Gendo go about his 'ultimate plan'.
"He's a bigger fool, if he thinks he'll be able to pull that off faster and better then us" came a mumble from some where off to the left.
Keel nodded with his kindergarten chum. The 12 little kids watched as Gendo tried to give Yui Ikari his hand made paper puppets. The 7 year old Yui gave Gendo a kiss and skipped away happily with her new gift. Gendo's little dorky car reflectors(glasses before they got cool) smiled happily and sat in a corner holding his cheek.
"Ok guys. Let's say in... 2000 something we all gang up on him and show him who's boss. No body steals our girl!!"
The 12 heads belonging to Savour Emerged Evil Little Engels all nodded in agreement.
"Keel, why did you want us to us the German word for angel?"
"Cause it's cooler you pointy nosed ostrich!!"
~~The coffee break~~
"I tell ya working for this new author is a back breaking business" Misato paused as she chugged her coffee "My throat nearly died on me with all the screaming and cursing he's had me doing in his fics"
"That's nothing. I'm a Shakespearian actor and he's barely even using me as filler" mumbled a sour Ritsuko. The entire eva cast sat along the table sharing their drinks and their thoughts in a rare break between fics.
"I sort of like the guy..." Shinji said rubbing the back of his head. Asuka begun to stare a gaping hole through his hea.
"Your only saying that because he's always trying to pair you with a girl, usually Asuka might I add" Hyuga muttered through his coffee 'lucky guy... least he gets a shot at a girl'
"Dudes, this is a coffee break DURING eva not between eva fics" Drake stated leaning out of his screen over them. They all sighed sadly and went off with their chains dragging behind them.
~~The coffee break~~(TAKE TWO!!)
"So Misato, what are you planning to do?" Misato looked up from her coffee at Ritsuko who just entered the room.
"Well... I was planning on going for a swim in my new back yard pool" Ritsuko eyed Misato as if she had just said she was the gingerbread man.
"Misato you don't have a backyard, you have an apartment. And there's no pool there" Ritsuko finished filling her cup of Joe and sat across from Misato.
"Oh really? You didn't notice that I asked the 10th angel to do some redecorating?" Ritsuko blinked.
"What?"
"Oh well, you remember when he dropped that super small piece of himself at the city?" Ritsuko nods " Well I asked him to give me a pool"
"Right... and how would an angel attack create a pool, at your apartment?"
"Well NERV's policy doesn't allow nasty looking craters. You filled it with something remember?" Ritsuko blinked and laughed at Misato.
"What's funny Ritsu?"
"That's not water that's blue pavement" Misato suddenly paled.
"OH SHIT. I invited Shinji and Asuka's friends over for a pool party!!!" Ritsuko calmed down and watched Misato.
"So?" Misato paled and screamed Ritsuko before storming out
"SO?! Kid's are gonna be diving off my 11th story balcony!!!"
~*~*~
"You know red-devil. I think I'll be nicer to ya... you got a cool pool and everything now"
"Ahhh don't worry about it Toji!! Let bygones be bygones. Go ahead you get first jump!"
"Thanks... Asuka... I think we might be friends one day" Toji leapt off the balcony as Asuka's face screwed into a very nasty smirk.
"In hell, which you'll soon get a close, personal and indepth look at"
~~Operation, Save Ikari~~
"Another segment given over to that foreign slu..." Drake reached across the computer screen and covered Rei's mouth "Mff, mfftt, tff, ghhmmff, FFFTT, EEWWWW!!"
"I'm glad, I'm part SI now... On with the show!!!" Rei bites Drakes hand and he screams.
~*~*~
"AHHHHHH" Asuka sat up from bed as she saw the naked Shinji posters over her bed again for what? The 19th time this month? It was getting worse.
"Mein Gott in himmil..." Asuka started to pull the offending objects from their home and she was forced to have a look at them as she hastily discarded them in an over flowing garbage can. The first few days weren't so bad... The pictures had been mostly censored or flubbed out from badly or hastily taken shots but tonight's were horrifying... umm... unique.
Asuka paused as she held a life size photo of... ahh.. Shinji's anatomy.
"AHHHH!!! DEAR LORD THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!" unlike the others this one she placed almost lovingly on her desk safely hidden as she then stormed out of her room.
"I'll never get to sleep at this rate!!! I'm spewing hormones and I haven't gotten a wink of sleep for..."
("Told ya she's a sl..." Drake's now bandaged hand covers Rei's mouth)
Asuka paused as she found something that shouldn't have ever left her room...
"A naked Kaji picture..." She picked it up and examined it in the light.
"year..." she sniffed it "2009. The film..." she looked at the back "...Kodak" She sniffed it again "freshly handled... by..." she licks the edges with a thoughtful look "Shinji..."
Shinji sneezes in his sleep, startling Asuka's who's outside his door.
"Why would Shinji have my private stash of 'special Kaji' pictures?" Asuka tapped the 'special Kaji' picture that held a sheepish looking Kaji trying to cover up and wave at the same time. Her mind clicked.
"He's a sausage swindler!!! A pipe cleaner!! Oh no he's a broken arrow!!" Asuka slammed the door to Shinji's room open and landed on top of Shinji after she flung herself at him.
"Da hell...?" A groggy Shinji mumbled as he felt the sky begin to fall. He opened his eye's to see Asuka staring at him.
"Dear lord, Rei not again. I'm beat..."
(Rei smiled and Drake frowned. Even with the semi-god like powers that Drake possessed as an Author, he couldn't prevent something as random and hormone driven as teenage dreams)
'Ok, so all his earlier descriptions don't exactly fit him if he dreams of stuff like that... wait a minute did he just say...'
"WHY WEREN'T YOU DREAMING ABOUT ME!!!!! WHY WONDER BITCH!!" Shinji blinked and together they blushed 'irk... come on Asuka, cover it up! Think of something!!!'
'Oh sweet mother... Did I just say that out loud?! Come on Shinji think of something!!' Shinji's eye's wandered a little 'lower' from Asuka's face 'that'll do...' he starred at his new found twin targets.
"Why did you have this Kaji picture!!!" Asuka found a good excuse finally. Shinji blanked and pointed at his desk. One check showed her everything.
"Shinji's delivery service!? All the Kaji pictures you could ever want!!!" Asuka then saw the list of expecting clients "HIKARI, MANA, MAYA, THE FEMALE MECHANIC IN CAGE 7!!!"
Asuka's breath caught in here throat when she read the last name.
"FATHER?!!??!" She pointed at the name in question... Shinji shrugged.
"He said it would give him leverage"
---+
"That last line couldn't be legal..." mused the doctor.
"Damned if I care, they'd better have fixed the toilets by now!!!"
~~~~~~~~
Dear lord, my eyes!!! My eyes!!! They're perfectly fine after reading this... that's very odd. Anyway this is one of the more weirder things I have ever placed outside my imagination.
If you wanted something abit more... I don't know... serious, straight forward or follows logical sense, read one of my other fics. Otherwise this may be thy poison for you!
I revised all 3 of my Insanity beckons chapters at once to allow my readers to slightly understand whats happening. If your wondering, the doctor is Ritsuko Akagi. Anyone wondering each chapter is a different time setting as she does her job as the good doctor.
DrakeforBake@hotmail.com
Well That was fun eh? Read, review, flame, laugh and glare! that's life!
Disclaimer: As your lord and master DrunkDrake, I shall inform you that I'm kind and generous and shall allow you all to 'borrow without asking' my beautiful anime series Neon Genesis Evangelion... Wow you people actually read that? Damn... Now I'll have to plead insanity at the upcoming disclaimer battle with Anno's soon to be arriving Lawyer's.
I must warn you. I believe that the rating of this would be slightly higher then the other versions mostly just because I said so. Also I've had a firm leash on Rei but she suddenly got loose on me... She's running around, so keep an eye out for her... I feel that she's going to cause trouble... Maybe I should have given her more of a staring role in my other fics...
Revisioned Version
Any line with a + is the doctor session
"talking"
'thinking'
~~segment's name~~
~*~*~ same segment new scene
(off scene yammering)
DrunkDrake
Insanity Beckons!
Interlude 03: I am the naked Chibi Asuka-Rei-Misato-Gendo of your mind
~~~~~~~~
Misato ran down the hall in her heavy bio-contamination suit. The walls all glowed a dangerous red belaying the threat looming over her if she removed her helmet.
She dashed around a corner and descended a ladder. She opened the floor hatch and a burst of air shot past her.
"This might not have been the best idea at the time..." Misato shook her head 'No time for worries... Your committed now. Everyone is placing their hopes on you!!"
She stopped at the bottom of the ladder and turned around seeing the data command terminal that was her mission. She dashed forward.
"Hope..." she typed in a command into the terminal.
"ERROR!? What the hell!?" Misato stared dumbly at the screen as it read Magi will not function command.
"Oh boy... the guys are gonna be pissed..." Misato desperately typed in the command again.
"Sweet monkey Jesus flying over the moon of Uranus, work!!" she screamed as the error message displayed itself across the screen.
Her internal com system came alive just then
"Uhh... Misato? Have you fixed the Magi's systems yet?" Fuyutsuki's nervous voice came over the other end of the line.
"Ummm, well sir I ummm..."
"I thought it was bad when the power went out but when the Magi boot up system didn't include the instructions to set the toilets to autoflush, I just knew we'd be screwed"
"Ummm.. yeah well you see sir"
"I'll inform everyone that the bathrooms are in full working order now. Good job, you deserve a raise!" Fuyutsuki hadn't bothered to note anything Misato said.
Misato only glared at the red flashing "Septic tank full" sirens in her smelly gloom.
---
It was a desperate situation...
"No d'uh"
And things were going from bad to worse...
"This is Neon Genesis Evangelion, what did you expect!!"
and many peoples lives depended on the actions of a few...
"Typical anime"
And once again our heroes descend into the fiery hearts of hell to do battle with their enemies the angels...
"Cliche piece of cra..."
DAMN IT REI LET ME GET ON WITH MY UBER KEWL L33T INTRO!!! JUST CAUSE YOUR MORE BACKED UP THEN THE TOILETS IN THE LAST STORY DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!!
"Says you..."
Ah pardon? I wasn't listening just then.
"This'll show you for not including me in your fics more often..."
I'm sorry Rei, I was on the phone. Look I Gotta go before the next scene starts. If it starts with me in it, then I'll be included in this tomfoolery.
"But Asuka said she'd be here. Just wait a few more seconds..."
Well...
"For Asuka?" Rei does an infamous kawaii-super blinking motion.
Well... sure just a few more minutes...
~~Never mix one part fanfiction with one part Evangelion~~
...Cause I'm sure Asuka would hate if I...*looks around* .... Oh my god...
"That's right your now in your own fic!!!" Rei starred at Drake with glowering dagger scythes swinging from her eyes.
NOOOOO. DEAR LORD SAVE ME!!!
Rei looks down on the poor creature that disgraces the very essence of human existence "Your now an ACC, you must abide by the laws of the 'FICS', so put those "" things around you words" Rei picked up the sorry excuse for an Earthling and hefted it's worthless carcass around like it was but paper mauche.
Ok, lemme try... Lik"e this?" Rei shook her head. 'Damn first timers'
"No"
"Ok I think I got it...now" the pathetic little doll that had resemble to the bottom feeders of the...
"Who the hell is doing that!?"
"what?" Rei stared with apathy at the soon to be boneless mound of flesh that...
"THAT!!!" screeched the homo-sapient precursor
"Oh? You mean the blatant diss'ing?" Drake nods his head. Rei points at the computer screen hovering above them.
"Up there is Rei the first. She's replaced you and your duties for now" Drake blinks as he see's a little 5 year old Chibi Rei wave back at him from across the screen.
"She's a fanfic writer?" Rei nods "when did that happen?"
"Well you see, Gehirn was really a fanfiction support group that supported each other with their works and gave awards to good fics" Drake though stunned from the news nods his head "Well, you see this really big contest was going on and while I forgot the reward everyone wanted it"
"Right..."
"Well anyway. Noaki Akagi was the best of the best writer there was... But Rei numero Uno" Rei points at Chibi Rei and Chibi Rei waves back again "did the one thing that wins in any fic contest... a lemon"
"Dear Lor"d drake sighed
"Your getting lazy again" drake looks up and views the his last typed line.
"So I am... so I am, go on"
"Well the lemon starred Noaki as some evil S&M, Gendo-izer, dominatrix" Drake listens fascinated "that was actually Yui in disguise"
"Ohh... now we know why she choked Rei-1 eh?" Rei shakes her head.
"No, you got her all wrong. Noaki was so depressed she went back to her collage days. She was high enough to suffocate from lack of air and the shrooms she wiffled made these weird pictures in her head..."
"How do you know all this?"
"Simple. I have Rei-1 implant all information of this story into my head. I am all knowing" Chibi Rei waves again.
"'nuff of the author ego trip and get on with the story!"
"Story?... There was a point to this segment?" Drake scratches his head as Rei ponders. Even chibi Rei looks confused.
Drake looks off to the side as an orange flashing light appears on the side.
"YES, time's almost up!!! I'm almost out of here!!!" Rei looks downcast.
"As soon as this segment is done, I'm free!!!" Suddenly the screen with Chibi Rei-1 enlarges and over shadows Drake.
"But since you were included in the content of this fic your now an ACC"
"Dear lord nooo... It's worse then that isn't it...?" Drake paled
"Yes. You are now a SI character. You can and WILL be brought in again several more times.
Drake's pathetic little girly scream echoed across the expanses of the Evangelion universe as his fears were realized. The world suddenly flipped upside down and he found himself sitting in front of his computer with a segment added on 'Insanity beckons'.
"It was all just... too much caffeine too much school not enough sleep... yeah, I'm just crazy, I never went to Evangelion world..." Drake sighed as he leaned against his comfy computer chair. Just a dream... and a poorly written one at that... Oh well. I guess I'd better get back to work.
---+
"Grrrr... Even I could have programmed the Magi to do the damned auto-flash but nooooooo" the doctor slammed her hands on her desk "She had to go and install musical chairs!!"
"Pardon?" the patient looked over their chair at the fuming doctor.
"Oh... Well you see the magi will only flush the toilets that they deem 'still in game'" the doctor frowned.
"So your saying that the magi and allowing the toilets to back up!?" the patient nearly screamed in horror.
"Only until the next round starts..."
"How about I tell you a bit about my past... That'll help calm our queasy stomachs till they fix the Magi..." The patient then got a lofty look in their eyes and started...
~~The revelation~~
Keel bashed his fist on the tables surface. His frustrations were getting the better of him. Gendo had practically bullied them into giving him what he wanted.
"So much resources he needed... he must be desperate" mumbled one of Keel's Co-conspirators.
Keel dumbly nodded as he watched Gendo go about his 'ultimate plan'.
"He's a bigger fool, if he thinks he'll be able to pull that off faster and better then us" came a mumble from some where off to the left.
Keel nodded with his kindergarten chum. The 12 little kids watched as Gendo tried to give Yui Ikari his hand made paper puppets. The 7 year old Yui gave Gendo a kiss and skipped away happily with her new gift. Gendo's little dorky car reflectors(glasses before they got cool) smiled happily and sat in a corner holding his cheek.
"Ok guys. Let's say in... 2000 something we all gang up on him and show him who's boss. No body steals our girl!!"
The 12 heads belonging to Savour Emerged Evil Little Engels all nodded in agreement.
"Keel, why did you want us to us the German word for angel?"
"Cause it's cooler you pointy nosed ostrich!!"
~~The coffee break~~
"I tell ya working for this new author is a back breaking business" Misato paused as she chugged her coffee "My throat nearly died on me with all the screaming and cursing he's had me doing in his fics"
"That's nothing. I'm a Shakespearian actor and he's barely even using me as filler" mumbled a sour Ritsuko. The entire eva cast sat along the table sharing their drinks and their thoughts in a rare break between fics.
"I sort of like the guy..." Shinji said rubbing the back of his head. Asuka begun to stare a gaping hole through his hea.
"Your only saying that because he's always trying to pair you with a girl, usually Asuka might I add" Hyuga muttered through his coffee 'lucky guy... least he gets a shot at a girl'
"Dudes, this is a coffee break DURING eva not between eva fics" Drake stated leaning out of his screen over them. They all sighed sadly and went off with their chains dragging behind them.
~~The coffee break~~(TAKE TWO!!)
"So Misato, what are you planning to do?" Misato looked up from her coffee at Ritsuko who just entered the room.
"Well... I was planning on going for a swim in my new back yard pool" Ritsuko eyed Misato as if she had just said she was the gingerbread man.
"Misato you don't have a backyard, you have an apartment. And there's no pool there" Ritsuko finished filling her cup of Joe and sat across from Misato.
"Oh really? You didn't notice that I asked the 10th angel to do some redecorating?" Ritsuko blinked.
"What?"
"Oh well, you remember when he dropped that super small piece of himself at the city?" Ritsuko nods " Well I asked him to give me a pool"
"Right... and how would an angel attack create a pool, at your apartment?"
"Well NERV's policy doesn't allow nasty looking craters. You filled it with something remember?" Ritsuko blinked and laughed at Misato.
"What's funny Ritsu?"
"That's not water that's blue pavement" Misato suddenly paled.
"OH SHIT. I invited Shinji and Asuka's friends over for a pool party!!!" Ritsuko calmed down and watched Misato.
"So?" Misato paled and screamed Ritsuko before storming out
"SO?! Kid's are gonna be diving off my 11th story balcony!!!"
~*~*~
"You know red-devil. I think I'll be nicer to ya... you got a cool pool and everything now"
"Ahhh don't worry about it Toji!! Let bygones be bygones. Go ahead you get first jump!"
"Thanks... Asuka... I think we might be friends one day" Toji leapt off the balcony as Asuka's face screwed into a very nasty smirk.
"In hell, which you'll soon get a close, personal and indepth look at"
~~Operation, Save Ikari~~
"Another segment given over to that foreign slu..." Drake reached across the computer screen and covered Rei's mouth "Mff, mfftt, tff, ghhmmff, FFFTT, EEWWWW!!"
"I'm glad, I'm part SI now... On with the show!!!" Rei bites Drakes hand and he screams.
~*~*~
"AHHHHHH" Asuka sat up from bed as she saw the naked Shinji posters over her bed again for what? The 19th time this month? It was getting worse.
"Mein Gott in himmil..." Asuka started to pull the offending objects from their home and she was forced to have a look at them as she hastily discarded them in an over flowing garbage can. The first few days weren't so bad... The pictures had been mostly censored or flubbed out from badly or hastily taken shots but tonight's were horrifying... umm... unique.
Asuka paused as she held a life size photo of... ahh.. Shinji's anatomy.
"AHHHH!!! DEAR LORD THIS HAS GOT TO STOP!!!" unlike the others this one she placed almost lovingly on her desk safely hidden as she then stormed out of her room.
"I'll never get to sleep at this rate!!! I'm spewing hormones and I haven't gotten a wink of sleep for..."
("Told ya she's a sl..." Drake's now bandaged hand covers Rei's mouth)
Asuka paused as she found something that shouldn't have ever left her room...
"A naked Kaji picture..." She picked it up and examined it in the light.
"year..." she sniffed it "2009. The film..." she looked at the back "...Kodak" She sniffed it again "freshly handled... by..." she licks the edges with a thoughtful look "Shinji..."
Shinji sneezes in his sleep, startling Asuka's who's outside his door.
"Why would Shinji have my private stash of 'special Kaji' pictures?" Asuka tapped the 'special Kaji' picture that held a sheepish looking Kaji trying to cover up and wave at the same time. Her mind clicked.
"He's a sausage swindler!!! A pipe cleaner!! Oh no he's a broken arrow!!" Asuka slammed the door to Shinji's room open and landed on top of Shinji after she flung herself at him.
"Da hell...?" A groggy Shinji mumbled as he felt the sky begin to fall. He opened his eye's to see Asuka staring at him.
"Dear lord, Rei not again. I'm beat..."
(Rei smiled and Drake frowned. Even with the semi-god like powers that Drake possessed as an Author, he couldn't prevent something as random and hormone driven as teenage dreams)
'Ok, so all his earlier descriptions don't exactly fit him if he dreams of stuff like that... wait a minute did he just say...'
"WHY WEREN'T YOU DREAMING ABOUT ME!!!!! WHY WONDER BITCH!!" Shinji blinked and together they blushed 'irk... come on Asuka, cover it up! Think of something!!!'
'Oh sweet mother... Did I just say that out loud?! Come on Shinji think of something!!' Shinji's eye's wandered a little 'lower' from Asuka's face 'that'll do...' he starred at his new found twin targets.
"Why did you have this Kaji picture!!!" Asuka found a good excuse finally. Shinji blanked and pointed at his desk. One check showed her everything.
"Shinji's delivery service!? All the Kaji pictures you could ever want!!!" Asuka then saw the list of expecting clients "HIKARI, MANA, MAYA, THE FEMALE MECHANIC IN CAGE 7!!!"
Asuka's breath caught in here throat when she read the last name.
"FATHER?!!??!" She pointed at the name in question... Shinji shrugged.
"He said it would give him leverage"
---+
"That last line couldn't be legal..." mused the doctor.
"Damned if I care, they'd better have fixed the toilets by now!!!"
~~~~~~~~
Dear lord, my eyes!!! My eyes!!! They're perfectly fine after reading this... that's very odd. Anyway this is one of the more weirder things I have ever placed outside my imagination.
If you wanted something abit more... I don't know... serious, straight forward or follows logical sense, read one of my other fics. Otherwise this may be thy poison for you!
I revised all 3 of my Insanity beckons chapters at once to allow my readers to slightly understand whats happening. If your wondering, the doctor is Ritsuko Akagi. Anyone wondering each chapter is a different time setting as she does her job as the good doctor.
DrakeforBake@hotmail.com
Well That was fun eh? Read, review, flame, laugh and glare! that's life!