Disclaimer: See Part1
*****
EXT - LANCRE - EARLY MORNING
Carrot sleeps peacefully, wrapped in a bedroll with his folded clothing as a pillow, in the sheltered patch under his resurrected ship. The rain has all but stopped now, with only a defiant drizzle to remind visitors that this is a swamp, not a luxury resort. Threepio sits dormant nearby, a power cord stretching from a panel in his back to a small generator. An LCD display in each lens of his spectacles indicates that he is "RECHARGING".
Presently an indistinct figure walks past between them and the camera.
It approaches Carrot stealthily, making surprisingly little noise on the soggy ground. It pauses, studying him for a moment, then raises a gnarled stick and brings it down hard at the bedroll.
It gets no further than halfway before Carrot, reaching out with the speed of a snake, seizes it in midair. His eyes snap open an instant later, and he looks up at his attacker.
The figure pushes back its hood to reveal Granny Weatherwax, sans hat, wielding the stick.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Good. Good. Had it been a real attacker, that would have saved your life. Although... had it been a sword or a lightsaber you'd have lost your thumb. [waves a dismissive hand] No matter. You'll learn. Come on and get dressed. You'll be wanting breakfast.
She releases her end of the branch and walks back to her cottage, leaving a confused Carrot looking at his hand and wondering how he did that. After a beat he sets aside the stick, nudges Threepio back into active mode, and sets about separating out and pulling on his clothes while the protocol droid unplugs himself from the generator.
INT - GRANNY WEATHERWAX'S COTTAGE
Carrot, fully dressed but still ungroomed - aside from a splash of water on his face and hands - and looking a bit sleepy, enters the cottage, attended by Threepio.
CARROT
What was that all about?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
The wakeup call? I was testing a theory.
She guides him to the table and puts a bowl of hot porridge into his hands. Numbly, he sits. As he begins eating the porridge:
CARROT
A theory?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
You remind me of some people who came through Lancre, years ago. Looks, mainly... and that.
She points to the lightsaber on his belt. Carrot's hand reflexively reaches over and touches it.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX [contd.]
A man and a woman - husband and wife, I think they were - and a few men-at-arms.
Carrot, riveted by the story, eats his porridge with the same air of someone eating popcorn at a scary movie.
CARROT
Sounds like they were some really important people.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
They was being chased. Don't rightly know why, even now... but the man had a lightsaber just like yours. Might as well have been its twin.
[she pauses to look closely at Carrot]
I think he was a Jedi. And, by the same token, I think you've got Jedi in your blood.
CARROT
That can't be right... neither of my parents are Jedi. They're just simple dwarves - they have a mine in the Ramtops.
Granny looks at him for a very long moment.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
You're pretty tall for a dwarf, aintcha? Never seen two dwarves produce a young man like you.
CARROT
Of course not. They make babies.
Granny looks at him for another very long moment.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Let me spell it out to you in small words. You're human. You were adopted by dwarves. You with me so far?
Carrot blinks.
CARROT
I think so.
PONDER THREEPIO
Excuse me, madam...
Both Carrot and Granny look at Threepio.
PONDER THREEPIO [contd.]
Is this the part where you tell him that Princess Angua is his sister?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
No.
[Threepio and Carrot relax]
That'd be Rincewind's job.
[they tense up again]
... if it were true.
[they remain tense]
... which it ain't.
Threepio and Carrot relax once more.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Well. Enough questions for now. [to Carrot] Finish your breakfast so we can start your training.
Carrot, who had paused in eating, now resumes.
CARROT
[between mouthfuls] What will the first exercise be?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Well, there's some firewood out back that wants chopping.
Threepio frowns at Granny.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
[ignoring Threepio] This exercise will help build your str...
[she stops, glancing at Carrot's already quite muscular build]
... your discipline. It will help to teach you the discipline necessary to be a Jedi.
CARROT
[not noticing the stumble] Like the chores my dad gave me for building character?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
[seizing the opening] Exactly. Jedi need lots of character.
Carrot finishes the last of his porridge and wipes his mouth on a napkin.
CARROT
I'll get right to it.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
I'll be out in a bit for your next training exercise.
He heads out. As the sounds of chopping wood begin:
PONDER THREEPIO
[ironically] Nice recovery.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
[matter-of-fact] Thank you.
*****
End Part 8.
*****
EXT - LANCRE - EARLY MORNING
Carrot sleeps peacefully, wrapped in a bedroll with his folded clothing as a pillow, in the sheltered patch under his resurrected ship. The rain has all but stopped now, with only a defiant drizzle to remind visitors that this is a swamp, not a luxury resort. Threepio sits dormant nearby, a power cord stretching from a panel in his back to a small generator. An LCD display in each lens of his spectacles indicates that he is "RECHARGING".
Presently an indistinct figure walks past between them and the camera.
It approaches Carrot stealthily, making surprisingly little noise on the soggy ground. It pauses, studying him for a moment, then raises a gnarled stick and brings it down hard at the bedroll.
It gets no further than halfway before Carrot, reaching out with the speed of a snake, seizes it in midair. His eyes snap open an instant later, and he looks up at his attacker.
The figure pushes back its hood to reveal Granny Weatherwax, sans hat, wielding the stick.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Good. Good. Had it been a real attacker, that would have saved your life. Although... had it been a sword or a lightsaber you'd have lost your thumb. [waves a dismissive hand] No matter. You'll learn. Come on and get dressed. You'll be wanting breakfast.
She releases her end of the branch and walks back to her cottage, leaving a confused Carrot looking at his hand and wondering how he did that. After a beat he sets aside the stick, nudges Threepio back into active mode, and sets about separating out and pulling on his clothes while the protocol droid unplugs himself from the generator.
INT - GRANNY WEATHERWAX'S COTTAGE
Carrot, fully dressed but still ungroomed - aside from a splash of water on his face and hands - and looking a bit sleepy, enters the cottage, attended by Threepio.
CARROT
What was that all about?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
The wakeup call? I was testing a theory.
She guides him to the table and puts a bowl of hot porridge into his hands. Numbly, he sits. As he begins eating the porridge:
CARROT
A theory?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
You remind me of some people who came through Lancre, years ago. Looks, mainly... and that.
She points to the lightsaber on his belt. Carrot's hand reflexively reaches over and touches it.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX [contd.]
A man and a woman - husband and wife, I think they were - and a few men-at-arms.
Carrot, riveted by the story, eats his porridge with the same air of someone eating popcorn at a scary movie.
CARROT
Sounds like they were some really important people.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
They was being chased. Don't rightly know why, even now... but the man had a lightsaber just like yours. Might as well have been its twin.
[she pauses to look closely at Carrot]
I think he was a Jedi. And, by the same token, I think you've got Jedi in your blood.
CARROT
That can't be right... neither of my parents are Jedi. They're just simple dwarves - they have a mine in the Ramtops.
Granny looks at him for a very long moment.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
You're pretty tall for a dwarf, aintcha? Never seen two dwarves produce a young man like you.
CARROT
Of course not. They make babies.
Granny looks at him for another very long moment.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Let me spell it out to you in small words. You're human. You were adopted by dwarves. You with me so far?
Carrot blinks.
CARROT
I think so.
PONDER THREEPIO
Excuse me, madam...
Both Carrot and Granny look at Threepio.
PONDER THREEPIO [contd.]
Is this the part where you tell him that Princess Angua is his sister?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
No.
[Threepio and Carrot relax]
That'd be Rincewind's job.
[they tense up again]
... if it were true.
[they remain tense]
... which it ain't.
Threepio and Carrot relax once more.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Well. Enough questions for now. [to Carrot] Finish your breakfast so we can start your training.
Carrot, who had paused in eating, now resumes.
CARROT
[between mouthfuls] What will the first exercise be?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
Well, there's some firewood out back that wants chopping.
Threepio frowns at Granny.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
[ignoring Threepio] This exercise will help build your str...
[she stops, glancing at Carrot's already quite muscular build]
... your discipline. It will help to teach you the discipline necessary to be a Jedi.
CARROT
[not noticing the stumble] Like the chores my dad gave me for building character?
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
[seizing the opening] Exactly. Jedi need lots of character.
Carrot finishes the last of his porridge and wipes his mouth on a napkin.
CARROT
I'll get right to it.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
I'll be out in a bit for your next training exercise.
He heads out. As the sounds of chopping wood begin:
PONDER THREEPIO
[ironically] Nice recovery.
GRANNY WEATHERWAX
[matter-of-fact] Thank you.
*****
End Part 8.